Gifting

O. Henry’s short story, ‘The Gift of the Magi’ is about a young couple dealing with the test of buying secret Christmas gifts for each other with very little money. The wife sells her long tresses to a hairdresser to buy a chain for her husband’s pocket watch. Her husband sells his watch to buy a set of combs for his wife’s lovely hair.

The writer ends the story saying, ‘… two foolish children who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures... let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest… They are the magi.’

The greatest gifts are the ones you treasure the most. They are things that are valuable to you yet you don’t mind giving them up for getting gifts for the ones you love. And the greatest gifting is when we can give up our favourite things so that we can give others what they would be happy to have.

Gifting is not just about the price of the gift. It is about the price that the giver is ready to pay. And the greatest price to pay is to selflessly lose what is valuable to you. The couple in the story are left with gifts that neither can use, but they realize how far they are willing to go to show their love for each other.

Gifting can be plain sharing where we share the surplus that we possess. But gifting gets lofty when we are ready to forgo, our smaller or greater treasures, so that we are able to arrange gifts for others. These are not mere sacrifices but choices that reflect real love. And such conscious costs make for the greatest of gifting!

Gifting gets greater when valuables we let go
To make possible for our true love to show!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Measure of Memories

Memories of a friend begin to fill my mind

in spaces where we met, I seek him to find...
But, I cannot find or meet him anymore
as before his time, my friend had to go!

Two are needed to hold a relationship rope
when one lets go, the other seems sans hope!

But we can refuse to let go and find a way

To keep our friend alive by our actions today!

We must move beyond sorrow and pain...
and learn from the measure of grain!

When the measure overflows it is a clue

that someone has made add-ons new!  

The memory measure needs moments anew
It will surely overflow even if add-ons are few...
The things he loved to do, we must do again
Instead of grieving loss, let's add to the gain!

Recreating moments will carry on the show

as we build on a memory of joy not woe

And when the memory measure overflows...
it will make us feel that he did not really go!

May the effort be followed by another one
by doing the things he would have done…

Let’s move beyond the wistful memory rim

And fill them with positives beyond the brim!

May newer memories overflow the measure

as a tribute to the one who was a treasure…

The ‘measure of memories’, it is found to be true
is ‘memories without measure’ in add-ons we do! 

(it is an year since my friend, Ravi Shirsat passed away on 16 December 2016... he (& his wife Poonam) had gifted me an 'overflowing measure of grain' to wish me abundance... this muse is a resolve to make my 'measure of memories of Ravi' overflow)



~ Pravin Sabnis

Dislike

As a child, I loved most of what my mother cooked. One of the dislikes was the idli. I would immediately gulp down a couple of the rice cakes, since my mother had a stern rule that we had to eat the first offering of all food, even if we disliked it. I would ensure that the unpleasant experience was over at the earliest.

However, this strategy would boomerang at homes of other people. Seeing me consume the idlis in quick time, they would think I loved them and they would drop more idlis in my plate. Hence, I had to change my approach. I would put small pieces of the idli in my mouth and chew slowly to stretch the time. Interestingly, this made me indulge in the taste and eventually I developed a liking for the idli.

My dislike for the idlis was due to wrong perceptions rather than real experience of taste. In fact, our likes as well as dislikes may be inferences born of perceptions or even interpretation of real experiences. People who love chicken or vegetarian Manchurian may enjoy it without really getting the taste of what’s inside.

To truly soak in the experience, we must soak in it. We must give it time to familiarise with facets that unravel only with deeper application of our senses. We need to consider whether our dislikes are mere inferences from erroneous perceptions made in a hurry. We have to find ways to escape hurried perceptions and experience the same with an open mind.

Stop playing hostage to hurried opinion…
Dislikes may be mere errors of perception!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Salt

We find in history that the availability of salt has been pivotal to civilization. The word ‘salary’ comes from the Latin word for salt because the Roman Legions were often paid in salt. Salt has been the best-known food preservative, especially for meat, for many thousands of years. Salt is truly an important ingredient in our life.

One of the five basic taste sensations, salt is essential to our health. Salt is kept in the dining plate or leaf to be added as per choice of taste. It is a common to find salt shakers on dining tables. In India the consumption of salt in a meal served by a person leads to an attitude of gratitude and loyalty to the server.

‘Maine Desh Ka Namak Khaya Hai’ has been a successful advertising campaign by Tata Salt. For over a decade, it depicted its branding as aligned to the faith of the citizens as seen in every day acts of honesty, loyalty and integrity born out of gratitude to the country for ‘feeding’ us.

However it is pertinent to note that true integrity cannot be visionless hostage to loyalty. For instance, if someone feeds us is not enough reason to blindly believe and follow him. Values are the litmus test before allegiance. Hence we must introspect as well look around to understand the situation and the stakeholders.

In fact, the real salt of the country is found in the salt pans created by natural evaporation. And loyalty to the country cannot exclude those who harvest salt and their tribe. When we ignore reality, we open ourselves to plastic patriotism that is mere faulty posturing and may well be against our land and its people.

Look within and without to escape fault…
Ensure that you are eating the right salt!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Blindfellen

Yesterday, members of Rotary Eye Bank of Goa joined ‘Walk in the Dark’ initiated by India Vision Institute. To raise awareness about avoidable blindness, we walked blindfolded guided by a visually challenged person. An enthusiastic participant spoke about it being akin to the act midbrain activation and I realised he was blindfellen!

‘Midbrain activation’ is a practice that claims to activate the ‘midbrain’ and trigger off super-normal abilities. The promoters insist that once the ‘midbrain’ is activated, a blindfolded person can read as well as do all things normally. Many parents are paying huge amounts of money to activate the ‘midbrain’ of their children.

This pseudoscientific practice has no acceptance in the mainstream science and is certainly a scam. No feats of midbrain activation have been demonstrated under a controlled environment to eliminate the possibilities of trickery. Rationalists have exposed the scam but the gullible continue to be blindfellen.

Helen Keller said, ‘a worse thing than not having sight is to not have vision’. The visually challenged overcome their difficulty by harnessing vision through imagination as well as identification of signals received. But many of us choose to be fooled. It is only thinking that helps vision. For that the brain should not be blindfellen!

Think without being a blindfellen fool…
Open your mind using the vision tool!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Forward-looking

Over the years, Rotary Club of Panaji has been making a difference in many ways for the St. Xaviers Academy for special children at Old Goa. The bakery was renovated and refurbished. The performance space was made user friendly. A toilet Block was built. All these have been led by the key efforts of A D Prasad.

Last Saturday, at a simple function to hand over scholarships to the students and inaugurate the toilet block, Prasad was asked to say a few words. Indeed he said a few words. He spelt out in a single sentence his next proposed project for the academy. Nothing more! Nothing less!

It would have been fitting for Prasad to speak about his significant contributions and efforts made by him. His recount would have been very inspiring. Yet he chose to skip the nostalgia of the past. He chose to give a slip to the indulgence in the present. He chose to look forward and commit to the future.

Narrating the nostalgia of a great journey is a good stimulus to learn and be influenced. Looking at the milestone reached can generate gratification and propel greater enthusiasm for the path ahead. However, the greatest motivation comes from the visionary act of forward-looking.

Forward-looking is not just seeing the desired road ahead. It is more about looked-for steps by us to reach the desired destination. It is about the resolve for making all necessary efforts as a personal initiative. The ‘past’ and ‘present’ can be occasion to celebrate the effort but the ‘future’ is the one that beckons on greater journeys.

Never mind milestones of a journey of notable bends…
Forward-looking reminds us that the road is yet to end!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Friend

We need to be wary of ones who use friendship for selfish fiendish reasons. Even friendship that survived many years may be discovered to be one of deceit and pretence. In such case it is best to ‘unfriend’ - an option offered on social networking forums to facilitate the defriending of an earlier approved friend.

Of course, virtual ‘friends’ are often just connections that are easy to make or break. But in the real world, friendships involve perception too. There are instances when others in the circle remain unaware of a break up in a friendship and the fiend may continue to misuse the perception of still being a friend.

In various networks (virtual and real) friendship is considered as a corollary to be being part of the same group. We describe ‘distant colleagues’ as ‘close friends’. Being courteous, considerate and sociable are actions of any sensitive human being. These are personal choices that do not always expect reciprocity.

Real friendship is something else. Friends are relations you can depend on. They may be critical of you but with the best of intentions. They may be weak but they will stand up for you. They may carelessly share your secrets but would never spread lies about you. They will not stab you in the back never mind the incentive. Indeed it is all about being a friend in deed!

Pretence of friendship may be a selfish need…
But real friends are seen as true in every deed!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Obligation

At the installation ceremony of Samraat Club Bori, the Chief Guest, Sharmad Raiturkar shared a valuable experience. He had initiated an activity during a meeting of his team. Members were handed a piece of paper. They were asked to list out what they could contribute to the desired transformation in the country.

The writings were collected and then read out aloud. There were suggestions for bureaucrats, for politicians, for society, for law makers, for law enforcers, for teachers, for students, for the younger generation, so on and so forth. There was no professed commitment by any writer. There were declarations of expectations. There were no declarations of obligation!

Most of us can diagnose and prescribe solutions. There are very few who move on to implement the same remedy as a personal initiative. Even when asked to suggest our personal contribution, we shift onus away from self and avoid the obligation that is to be addressed. We find advice easy to give but find commitments tough to make.

We avoid obligation as we insist on expectations only of others. We too belong to the same circle of expectation. We may or may not be part of the problem but we can always be part of the solution. We are entitled to have expectations of all role-players and stakeholders, but our obligation should rise from the same expectation.

It is in our interest to back the change we seek. Mahatma Gandhi said it so well, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world.’ Expectations to contribute to the change must start with us by making the commitment from a sense of obligation. It is all about taking onus for the situation and contributing to the desired change.

If it is to be… for every expectation
It is up to me to see my obligation!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Many Parts

I hold the world but as the world, Gratiano - a stage where every man must play a part. And mine a sad one - Antonio in Shakespeare’s ‘The Merchant of Venice’ Gratiano responds to say ‘Let me play the fool.’ 

Most of us choose to play a single part and it defines the script of our life. Some choose to play many parts and that is, both, tough and fulfilling. One such person, Dr. Sanvlo Quenim would be entering into his centennial year today! He passed away in 2000 but remains alive in the memories of many. He was able to influence and inspire many because he played many a part. And he played each part well.

As a Doctor, he schooled in French, Latin and Portuguese. He had mastery over Konkani, Marathi and other languages. As a Doctor he made a difference by his expertise as well as his sensitivity. He would reach out to distant villages to visit his patients as well as home was his busy clinic. Most patients could not afford to pay his fees and some even borrowed money from him to buy medicines.

He was a multifaceted personality: a sketch artist, tabla-player, orator, singer and actor. He enthralled audiences with all his talents, especially in dramas. He went on to be the vice-chairman of Kala Academy in its formative years. His ‘prescriptions’ worked wonders to create a world class institution that promotes art and culture. He was proactively involved in many initiatives, positions and teams.

We have the potential to play many parts. But, we choose to focus on one so that we play a good part. Dr Sanvlo Quenim showed that one can play many parts well too. Though he did not accumulate wealth, he was able to lead a full life. He fulfilled his family obligations, professional duties as well as found stage for his creative talents and leadership qualities. He played many parts. And they were happy ones!

Playing a lone part is oft a sad one…
many parts lead to truly happy ones!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Resolve

Various movements in India have marched to the determined chorus of the anthem – ‘hum honge kamyaab’… in fact there are many versions in different languages of India… Everyone seems to know the song but few know the author… In fact, very few know that originally it is not a Hindi lyric… it is an English verse!

The song ‘We shall overcome’ became popular in the US civil rights movement. It is believed to be derived from a hymn penned by Reverend Charles Tindley in the early 1900s. Martin Luther King used it in his oratory. Joan Baez, Bruce Springsteen and many other singers lent voice to it. Nations across the globe created versions in many languages.

However, it isn’t enough to sing ‘we shall overcome’. Resolutions have to move beyond internal resolve into aligned actions. Resolves may turn a shifty virtue that changes with situation. They may be oft sacrificed at the altar of selfishness. We must be spot on in our resolves to be consistent and steady in its implementation.

We tend to rein in resolve by succumbing to motives. We must overcome the circle of self-centredness and look beyond to the larger perspective. Very simply, we must overcome hate, greed and injustice of all sorts. The path to wishful positivity is filled with toil, self-doubt, seclusion and even defeat. But we shall overcome, someday!

Yes we can and we will overcome one day…
if we commit to the spot-on resolve today!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Sarvodaya

Last Saturday, I was at the Installation Ceremony of the new Board of Samraat Club Curchorem. The event was in the hall of a school called Sarvodaya. A colleague asked me for the meaning. It was used by Mahatma Gandhi as the title of his 1908 translation of John Ruskin's tract on political economy, Unto This Last. Gandhi came to use the term for the ideal of his own political philosophy.

The word has two roots: sarva (all) and udaya (uplift)… literally meaning the uplift of all or the welfare of all. Ruskin's outlook extended from three central tenets: (1) the good of the individual is contained in the good of all. (2) a lawyer's work has the same value as the barber's in as much as all have the same right of earning their livelihood from their work. (3) a life of labour is a life worth living.

Incidentally, many centuries before, Buddha had spoken about the same approach as ‘Bahujan Hitay, Bahujan Sukhay’ (in the interest of all, in the happiness of all). It is a useful compass for all of us who work in organisations that strive for making a positive impact on and with the people of the world.

Of course, we must start with the people around. We must extend regard and respect for everyone we meet. We must recognise the dignity in labour and participate in it. We must value every human being and recognise that equality comes about only when we are all uplifted to the same plane of self-respect. When we rise together, we truly rise!

Together we can rise, together we should
Sarvodaya is about the common good…

~ Pravin Sabnis

Accident

Here is an anecdote which I share while addressing Parents: Two young boys were on a bike on an early Sunday morning. The road had hardly any traffic. However, the bike went out of control and hit a lamppost placed on the centreline divider. I ask the audience, ‘Who is responsible for the death of the youth?’

Some blame the rider for riding rashly; some blame the parents who gifted the bike. Others blame the lamppost, the road, the bike, the government and other factors. I point out that I had been through worse bangs on three occasions and happily I survived all of them. Sadly the two young men did not survive their first accident.

So often, we want to fix blame for something that could be just an accident. An accident can leave you dead, paralysed, with a few hurts or without any scratches. Simple ones can be fatal and complicated ones can be sans pain or stain. After all, accidents are incidents that happen unexpectedly and unintentionally.

Of course, crashes could have a cause. And while it is good to learn from an accident, it can be insensitive to insist on fixing onus, especially in cases which do not really involve us. Every occurrence may not require identification of a culprit. Chance and circumstance are possible factors too.

Often there are mishaps without any apparent or deliberate cause. They are just accidents. If they have nil or minimum damage: we may not get into an over critical judgemental approach. Yes we can and we should learn from the experience and that is about being developmental. That’s when we can truly move on!

Blame game restricts to being over judgemental
Accidents should lead to lessons developmental

~ Pravin Sabnis

NOW!

On coming Thursday, he would have turned 110. But Bhagat Singh died a martyr at the young age of 23. He lives on as an immortal inspiration for the youth…

The greatest inspiration is that Bhagat did so much and wrote so extensively in such a short span. Many say that if he lived longer, he would have created greater impact. But surely, he lived his life packing every moment with worthy actions far surpassing the ones by so many who have lived more than two or three times his age.

We must ask ourselves whether we are adding life to our years or years to our life. The latter does not require much effort on our part. To exist or survive is not a great challenge. We must make our life worthy of living by doing every extra bit of effort at the present moment.

Most of us are waiting for later… we wait for the ‘right moment’! But procrastination is the executioner of passion and potential. The best time to do any good was yesterday. The second best time is today! Tomorrow may be late. We must involve in worthy living NOW!

Bhagat showed length of the road does not matter
We must do worthy living NOW, don't wait for later!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Gullible’s Travails

These days, adults talk revolves around the deadly addiction of juveniles to the Blue Whale Challenge. The internet game reportedly consists of a series of tasks assigned to players by administrators over a 50-day period, with the final challenge requiring the player to commit suicide. Adults are baffled that ‘intelligent’ children too are swayed as they don’t apply their thinking. I ask them, ‘do you?’


It is true that in the age of the internet, the gullible are ones who do not apply the test of thinking before embarking on actions triggered by the virtual world. While craving for recognition or depression due to non-acceptance or plain bravado could be the basic reasons for succumbing to such a deadly challenge, it is obvious that lack of the spirit of inquiry that leads to gullibility.

Out in the virtual world we find careless forwarding of fake messages, many of which are life-threatening as they fuel hate and prejudice against other human beings. While the Blue Whale Challenge can be singled out and countered out in various ways, the gullibility of even well-meaning persons is creating a bloody ground for discrimination, lynching and killings.

Most of the gullible, when confronted with the falsehood of their viral posts, defend their irresponsible travails with the argument, ‘I ‘only’ forwarded it!’ But it is pertinent to note that we forward only because we agree (even if without applying discretion). We must check for the veracity as well as reconfirm the message before believing it. And even after confirming, we should consider whether it is worth passing on.

The antidote to venom is often in the venom. For the falsehood on the internet, we can try to check its validity on the internet itself. At the same time, we must use a questioning approach to check the reliability. Most importantly, we must examine the information for its relevance to positivity. After all, negativity leads to the travails not only of the gullible but also of the unconnected innocent.

In the virtual world, check before you carelessly forward
Gullible’s travails lead to a deadly target that’s backward!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Widen the ring

The fifth edition of Kalakirti’s Goa Environmental Festival was held in Panaji over last three days. It included screening of films, talks, panel discussions as well as competitions for filmmakers, photographers, artists, cuisine, street plays and wealth out of waste. Coming Saturday, the festival goes to Ravindra Bhavan, Margao with films, photographs, paintings, cuisine contest and a workshop for teachers.

The partners had increased this time and so did the venues and the reach. Each associate hosted an activity that was their expertise. They brought in greater diversity that enhanced the influence and the impact on different sections of society. Indeed, it has underlined, once again, the importance of widening the ring.


There are many positive and progressive initiatives by individuals as well as organisations. But to widen the circle of influence and impact, we must connect with similar and parallel initiatives. We must involve and work together by joining hands with more partners to widen the ring.

There are different reasons why we are reluctant to widen the ring. We may worry about sharing stage. We may not want to share power. We may be poor in our skills of team working. We may feel we don’t require help. But, the most likely reason is that we focus on self-centredness instead of the larger purpose of our initiative.

It is pertinent to note that the choice to widen the ring is truly empowering for the results as well it makes the efforts easier. When we increase the role-players, it results in making a larger stage and a larger audience. We share not just opportunities but we also end up sharing responsibilities and the workload. Most importantly we have just made greater scope for our enterprise.

Together we can, together we shall
Widen the ring and further our call!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Not me

When I was in school, some friends would tease me by calling out my name as Parveen Babi, a popular Hindi film actress. I would not show my irritation as I knew that the teasing would get worse if they knew I was affected by it. However, internally I would be seething. 

One day I shared my indignation with my father. Calmly, he asked me, ‘Are you Parveen Babi?’ I shot back, ‘of course not!’ My father continued, ‘and what is your favourite drama?’ I told the name of the Marathi drama ‘Toh Mee Navech’ (That’s not me). He repeated his first question and I replied with a smile, ‘That’s not me!’


So often, we feel easily slighted by someone calling us names. We perceive it to be an unfair label or a spiteful abuse. We get worked up as we feel that we are targeted unfairly. We allow the indignation to simmer and eventually boil as offended outrage. We respond in self-righteous fury that can blur many realities… all because we can’t tell our own mind that ‘that’s not me!’

We take offence too easily and we resort to poor defense or retaliation. Instead we should choose tolerance combined with dignity and open mindedness. Character is all about refusing to be affected by petty issues. Our response to every stimulus should never be easy prey for barbs. If it is a case of ‘not me’ we should not allow it to become a case of ‘why me’ or ‘how me’.

Interestingly, years later when in college, I visited the Jehangir Art Gallery in Mumbai. Among the few visitors that afternoon was Parveen Babi! I introduced myself and started telling her of being called by her name. As I narrated the tale of learning to say, ‘not me’, she replied with an enigmatic smile, ‘not me, too!’

Heed, we are only what we choose to be
And if we seem otherwise, say ‘not me’!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Blind Faith

Last weekend, the establishment was attacked by rampaging supporters of a fraud-man convicted on cases of rape. The discussions centred on the same old stuff: the claim to be God, the legion of celebrity followers, political patronage, the fleet of cars, unimaginable wealth and, the sordid controversy about the guy’s brutal behaviour with his female devotees and a trail of murders.

The justification of the illogical indignation was described as a ‘matter of faith’. The blind faith was buttressed by arguments of the positive ‘social work’ by the fraud-man and his sect. The blind followers were using unrelated reasoning that no crime is possible by one whom they saw as having done a lot of good.

Obviously, some of the followers may be partners-in-crime but it is pertinent that the majority belongs to ones who have surrendered their ability to distinguish between right and wrong. They defend not only the indefensible; they are blinded by their misplaced faith in the fraud man.

The objection to any self-styled God-man’s ‘powers’ is fundamental. If they claim cosmic ability to change destiny and to heal the human body, then why don’t they just heal themselves, or change the script for suicidal farmers? The counter-argument he-does-so-much-charity does not condone the assumption of divinity. Surely, philanthropy is not novel.

There are committed citizens who are taking on challenges head-on, yet they don’t claim to be God. Blind faith is enchantingly deceptive as it makes us shift the onus of responsibility from ourselves to the mystic. But proactive action is the one that shall salvage our situation. Our country needs less of god-men who indulge in sham speech to offset their crimes and more of good men who initiate appropriate actions.

Don’t let blind faith choke ability to reason
open your mind to scrutinise every action!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Less Shame

‘Wow, my father an astronaut, I feel so full of …. what’s the opposite of shame?’ – Bart Simpson
‘Pride?’ – Marge Simpson
‘No, not that far from shame.’ – Bart Simpson
‘Less shame?’ – Homer Simpson
‘Yeah.’ – Bart Simpson

The above episode of the comic strip of the ‘Simpsons’ makes a pertinent point. We wrongly believe that the opposite of shame would be to have pride. In fact pride and its allied indignation and irrationality rise often from the feeling of shame.

Shame is the sentiment that there is something basically wrong with me. The emotion of guilt is about doing something wrong, whereas shame is about being wrong at the fundamentals. The feeling of shame rises from the belief of being basically flawed, inadequate, unimportant, undeserving or not good enough.

We become addicted to our core shame belief. It gives us a feeling of control over other people’s feelings and behaviour. It makes us believe that others are rejecting us, or behaving in unloving ways, because of our inadequacy. Secondly it shields us from other feelings that we are afraid to feel, and gives us a sense of control over our own feelings.

We find it difficult to move beyond shame because we are addicted to the feeling of control that our shame-based beliefs give us: control over others’ feelings and behaviour, and control over our own genuine feelings. We can heal our shame when we accept that others feelings and behaviour have nothing to do with us.

We camouflage our shame by anger towards self or others or we tend to raise the pride flag. For instance, if I have a sense of shame of being part of a community that discriminates against others, I may flaunt my pride of belonging to it. However, if I feel ‘less shame’ I will be less prone to irrational indignation. Eventually, ‘less shame’ comes from the realisation that we are not responsible for the harsh reality.

Change the script by moving to ‘less shame’
False beliefs lead to angry pride that’s lame!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Lesson Learnt

My friend, Shashidhar Byali has many anecdotes of his life as a sailor. The best ones to listen to are those of great challenges and ‘near or clear’ errors of judgement or delivery. Shashi tells often about a log book that had to be filled to record the happening. The most important detail was testing but important to be declared: lesson learnt!

'Lesson Learnt’ is a valuable tool used by various organizations. They are experiences extracted from an assignment that become guidelines for future assignments of same or similar nature. It is an effective evaluation of the occurrence with clear insights into the what, how and why of things that went right or wrong.

NASA defines ‘lesson learned’ as knowledge or understanding gained by experience. The experience may be positive, as in a successful test or mission, or negative, as in a mishap or failure. These lessons highlight strengths or weaknesses in preparation, design, and implementation that affect performance, outcome and impact.

Experience is a great teacher. However, we must remember that ‘lessons are not meant to be taught… lessons have to be learnt’. Hence we must define and declare the ‘lesson learnt’ from every experience. It will be the guideline for future initiatives and ensure effectiveness due to the learning gained from the understanding.

After each experience, whether success or failure
‘Lesson Learnt’ helps us be better for the future!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Reason eclipsed

Many years ago, during a training for an organisation, we were served lunch in their canteen. The person who accompanied us was courteous but did not partake in the meal. He sheepishly admitted that he would not eat as his mother had instructed him to abstain from food during the eclipse that was occurring that day.

He told us that during the eclipse, all water and cooked food would be thrown out as it would be contaminated. After the end of the eclipse, all would bathe and fresh water would be filled from the tap and used to cook fresh food. My colleague asked him, ‘Do you empty the overhead tank, the reservoirs and rivers as well? Surely they would be under great exposure to be contaminated.’

Even the educated succumb to the canard, because we think that it does no harm to follow a tradition with seems to do no harm. But our thinking is eclipsed in more ways than one. While fasting during an eclipse, or any other time, is not bad as long as our body can take it; surely throwing away edible food and water is not acceptable.

So often we base our actions on blind beliefs. Premises based on invalid references lead to the eclipse of reason. False notions and misplaced logic leads to wrong inferences. Most fallacies are propped up by the crutches of distorted scientific principles. After all, we so easily allow our reason to be eclipsed by blind belief.

Let’s keep unscientific blind belief at bay…
Reason should not be eclipsed on any day!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Core

A dog-meal company was holding its annual convention. The Advertising Director spoke of an interesting new retail scheme that would ‘revolutionize the industry’. The Marketing Director extolled the company’s decision to introduce the latest state-of-the-art refresher-training program for ‘the best damned sales force in the business.’

Finally, the CEO rose to make his remarks, ‘we heard from all our Departmental Heads about their wonderful plans. I have only one question. If we have the best advertising, the best marketing and the best damn sales force in the business, how the hell do we sell less dog food than everyone else?’

The silence in the Convention Hall was broken by a small voice from the back of the room: ‘Because the dogs hate it!’

While packaging, promotion, positioning and projection are crucial to ensure value to the product, the eminence of the produce cannot be ignored. But so often we forget the main thing and focus on the marketing only. It is important to ensure the surface wrapper does not hold within a hollow or lesser core.

The core is the foundational part which is primary over the secondary enveloping parts. For an individual, core character is more important than clothing and other drapes. For a team, core synergy remains higher than aesthetics and apparel. For a community project, core purpose is greater than public relations or publicity.

Of course, the envelope can empower the core. But it is pertinent to note that the surface packaging cannot override the core. Otherwise, we will focus only on the surface and ignore the fundamental forte. Hence, we should focus on values, vision and purpose so that we, and the casing, remain centrally aligned to a strong core.

Focus on the core first and then the casing…

Sans strong roots, shoots struggle in rising!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Andrew's Law

‘Power of Positivity’ is my favourite training session. Besides insights into reclaiming instinctive positivity (that we are born with) and unlearning conditioning, I share two laws: Murphy’s and Andrew’s. Murphy’s Law is globally known (and has been focussed on in an earlier Monday Muse) but Andrew’s is personally known to me and all those who came in touch with him.

So often, when we embark on a project and in the run-up we realise that disruptions lie ahead. In response, we postpone, procrastinate or we give up. Those who were associated with Andrew would hear a persistent and insistent refrain, ‘Don’t Cancel!’ That is the law that will be our lighthouse as the person is no more amidst us.

Andrew D’souza was full of enthusiasm and energy. He was passionate about planting trees, empowering education for underserved students, playing sports, team working with Rotary Clubs and other volunteer groups… but most importantly, he would encourage, support and team up with any positive program.

Andrew would urge, ‘Don’t Cancel!’ He believed that despite any concerns, a well-intentioned initiative should not be stopped. He insisted that instead of prejudging results, we must focus on efforts. Every time we cancel something we have started we create doubts in our mind and make it difficult to embark on a second attempt.

Andrew said ‘to cancel’ was to give up on your beliefs and faith in possibilities. He would point out the analogy of sports: playing for passion is elementary… victory depends on many factors other than capacities. Hence, he said, we should play to the fullest, instead of imagining defeat and giving up without playing.

Andrew’s successful chain of restaurants is called ‘A Lua’ - literally meaning the moon. The moon seems to wax and wane. The moon goes missing once a month and sometimes it is eclipsed. But it does not real disappear. It remains in its role that makes a consistent impact on our world. Andrew may be no more but his luminous law remains an immortal inspiration to take on challenges and not cancel our efforts.

Andrew remains alive with his stirring law…
‘Don’t cancel’ never mind the seeming flaw!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Unkindest Cut

In William Shakespeare's play, Julius Caesar was murdered by a group of senators led by Brutus, a close friend of Caesar. Caesar begins to resist the attack but resigns himself to his fate when he sees that his friend is amongst the plotters. Caesar's last words are 'Et tu, Brute? Then fall Caesar!'

In the play, Mark Antony oratory cleverly exposes the betrayal. He describes the wound given to Caesar by his close friend Brutus as ‘unkindest cut of all’. He is playing on two meanings of ‘unkind’: ‘inhumane’ and ‘unnatural.’ When Brutus literally ‘cut’ his friend, a bloody deed was compounded with ingratitude. It wasn't the wound that killed Caesar, says Antony, but Brutus's treachery.

The most painful of insults, affronts, or offenses are often so painful because it comes from a trusted friend. It is pertinent to note that these ‘unkindest cuts’ are always aligned to back stabbing. While they may not be real cuts that exterminate, yet they kill reputation or relationships. The friends who chose to betray are eventually killing trust and the friendship born of it.

Some people are given yet another chance despite deceitfulness. But they repeat the untrustworthiness as they take relationships for granted. They may believe that the one who forgave once will forgive again. More importantly, they feel that the friend will never know about the unkindest cut! However, friendships take years to blossom but they can be smothered out forever by the unkindest cuts.

Friendship is felled where a betrayed friend is laid…
The ‘unkindest cut’ is always a double edged blade!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Whataboutery

Pedro was telling his friend in a sad tone, ‘My father is critically ill and looks like he will not recover.’ His friend immediately shot back, ‘what about other fathers who are critically ill? Did you feel sad for them? If not why are you insisting on grief?’

A baffled Pedro said, ‘He is my father! As his son am I not entitled to sorrow?’ His friend continued his whataboutery… ‘What about other fathers? What about their sons? What about their anguish? What about…’

The above account is an imagined joke. But around us, we find the serious malaise of repetitive whataboutery. It is the technique or practice of responding to an accusation or difficult question by making a counter-accusation or raising a different issue. It is a diversion tactic used to put the other in a bad light.

The term, originally used in political discourse, is now used extensively in debates between conflicting sides. The user protests hypocrisy by responding to criticism by accusing the opponent of similar or worse faults. He refuses to act in one instance as similar action was not taken in other similar instances from the past. 

One wrong does not validate another. Hypocrisy should be exposed but crime cannot be defended. Whataboutery cannot be used to justify the unjustifiable. It is pretence for fairness but it seeks to defend the defenceless. The opposite of whataboutery is to maintain consistency in response instead of asking ‘what about?’

When we prop up a wrong to expose hypocrisy

We indulge in the absurd drill of whataboutery!

~ Pravin Sabnis

What’s your religion?

(an old poem written in 1990 that disconcertingly seems written for today)

One day,
we will be stopped
in our tracks
by a maniacal mob…
… and be confronted
with the Questions:

“what’s your religion?
Same as ours?
Or different like theirs?”

And our lives will depend
… on our answers
… and their religion!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Noise within

A marketing executive, from Vasco, visited Pedro to promote his company’s range of products. He received a call from his boss. The visitor seemed irritated as he spoke on his mobile , ‘I am in Margao’ he declared. Pedro was surprised as they were sitting in his office in Panaji. It was pertinent to note that the three cities were separated from each other by nearly an hour’s drive.

Intrigued, Pedro queried, ‘Why did you lie?’ The salesman replied, ‘If I had told my boss that I was in Panaji, he would have definitely asked me to get some toast from Café Central’. Pedro shot back, ‘What if he asks you to get some cookies from Morning Star Bakery located in Margao?’ And he continued, ‘what if your boss is in Panaji and bumps into you?’ The salesman broke into cold sweat.

The salesman did not imagine other possibilities as he was conditioned by the noise within. The noise within kept insisting that his boss would ask him to purchase toast if he knew that he was in Panaji. In his haste to escape his imagined predicament, he was putting himself into worse scenarios that come along with misrepresentation.

So often, we respond to stimuli based on perception and we resort to falsehood. Our assessment is affected by our previous experiences. We presume the worst based on such prejudice. Most lies are born of the noise within which keeps bearing upon us the burden of experience or that of wrong assessment.

While experience is a great teacher, it should not blind us to other possibilities that may exist. More importantly, deceptions are a two edged sword with the sharper knife on the side of the deceiver. Truth may bring hardships but it would not create worries that falsehood brings along. The noise within should be consistently aligned to integrity, not to wrong assessment, especially the ones based on experience.

Ignore the noise within that leads to untruths
Every stimulus needs the response of truth!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Thousand Times

In my training sessions, I share that martial arts films have similar stories. The protagonist is a simple, nice guy. And the antagonist is an expert in martial arts. In the fight between the good and the bad, the bad one wins as he is stronger and skilled. Hence the hero goes to a master to learn self-defence and attack.

He is exasperated when the master teaches him only a single move and insists that he practise it again and again. The hero pleads with his master, ‘Please teach me more moves’. The wise master replies, ‘it is not the thousand moves that you know that will help you… it is the one move you have practised a thousand times!’

We see it all around us. Singers and musicians involve in the ritual of riyaz! Batsmen practise the same stroke that they want to become better at. Bowlers strive to bowl the yorker again and again, in the nets. Novice artists keep drawing the same strokes till they become proficient. Actors keep repeating lines till they are flawless.

Of course, it is not just enough to do something a thousand times; one must do it the right way. Pedro says is you keep practising the wrong way; you will get it perfectly wrong! The constant and conscious drill of doing the right thing in the right way gets us to be better and better.

So should we restrict to only single moves? While it is good to know many moves, the ones that matter will be ones you have done many times! Interestingly, in every sphere, the fundamental moves are few and the rest are variations. So it makes sense to work a thousand times on the fundamentals.

Never mind thousand moves that you claim to know
Those done a thousand times are the ones to show!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Development

Once in a nature camp, I spoke on the tendency to abuse water as a resource. Drinking water was going to get scarce, due to destruction of water sources by indiscriminate development. A bright boy pointed, ‘With technological developments, one day it will be possible to treat sea water and convert into drinking water’. He felt that it was possible to find new solutions to problems created by development.

After appreciating the lad for his intelligent intervention, I said, ‘The Jaipur foot is an important technological development for those who lose their limbs. But would it be correct to amputate our healthy limbs just because we have a remedy? Does it make sense to scout solutions for problems we insist on creating?’

Development is a connotation that means different things to different people. It can be as personal as our self-centredness or as global as wider concerns. It can be conditioned by immediate needs or liberated by a desire to leave a legacy. It should be a corollary to the advancement of humanity. It can be about a better future not just for us but for the generations to come.

Embracing fundamentals based on a vision of equity, justice and self-reliance, for the entire humankind, should be the priority. Development cannot be walking the path to the future whilst destroying the present. And most importantly, it is about having the courage to leave the wrong road and walk only the one which benefits all the people and the environment around, not just of today, but of tomorrow as well.

Creating problems and finding solutions is a recipe for erosion…
Development is when our Earth is nurtured for future generations!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Time

Last Monday, six books of plays written by Suchita Narvekar were published. The books are scripts of successful plays that have completed many shows. Speaking on the occasion, she mentioned that an acquaintance remarked, ‘Six books? You wrote six books? You must be having a lot of time at your disposal.’

It is pertinent to note that Suchita is a player of many parts: an enterprising entrepreneur, a passionate theatre person, a popular jockey on radio, a responsive and socially conscious citizen and a super active person. Obviously she has her plate full! Yet she was able to find the time to write and publish her plays.

Time is a resource that is equally available to everyone. Yet some like Suchita can find the time to do many activities while others seem to repeat the refrain, ‘I have no time!’ Pedro says that every time we declare that we don’t have time, it means that we don’t how to or we don’t want to. While the former is about time management skills, the latter reflects the resistance coming from our attitude.

If we all have the same hours to the day, everyone is equally advantaged to do the things we want. Hence the cue lies in the desire to do things. Hence, persons like Suchita find the time to do many diverse things as they are driven by a passion to do those things. And if we do all the things we like, we lead fuller lives. Eventually it is the busy who can find time because they are motivated to do so!

Fill up life with purposes born of passion
Find the time to involve in many actions!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Cheerful Choice

Facial expressions are a response to a stimulus. They are signals of emotion and social intent as a reaction to a situation or event or an individual or even a thought. However there are times when this choice is sans stimulus. This is reflected in what I like to call the neutral expression.

The neutral expression is one you wear without any stimulus, not even thought. It is the visual that others notice when you are by yourself. You could be walking, waiting or watching, all without knowing that you are being observed. It is the face that a candid camera would capture.

Some wear a blank expression, some have a persistent frown, some seem gloomy, some seem tired, some seem seething... but there are ones who seem perpetually pleased. Their eyes are alight with bliss. The smile curve is never reversed without reason. Being with such persons is a boon as their cheer is infectious.

Being cheerful cannot be a single choice of wearing a beaming expression. We need the internal trigger of positivity. We must be at peace with disappointments and doubts. We must look forward with hope. We must let go of hate and vengefulness. We must unlearn conditioning that introduces negativity in our attitude.

We cannot choose our situation at all times. We cannot choose results to our efforts. We cannot choose reactions of others. But we can choose positive thinking… of belief and hope… never mind the stimulus or the absence of it. Our neutral expression can be sunny even when we face darkness born of fatigue or failure… we will be enthused and energized… and so will others who see us!

Never mind the stimulus or the lack of it…
The choice to be cheerful is worth every bit!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Altruism

Yesterday, my facebook friend Pramod Kudchadkar passed away after losing out the battle with illness. His eyes (cornea) were donated along with his body to be useful to someone else. The cornea will help two persons have their sight restored and the body will aid many directly and indirectly. Truly an act of altruism by the one who pledged and the family who honoured that pledge!

The word ‘altruism’ was devised by French philosopher Auguste Comte in French, as altruisme, as an antonym of the word ‘egoism’. He derived it from the Italian altrui, which in turn was derived from Latin alteri, meaning ‘other people’ or ‘somebody else’. It is about selflessness as a practice born of the concern for others.

Altruism is when an individual performs an action at a cost to himself but it benefits another individual, sans any expectation of reciprocity or compensation for that action. It is pertinent to note that altruism is different from sentiments of obligation which are predicated by relationships. Altruism is beyond relationships and hence it benefits others.

This world will be a better place if more and more of us choose acts of altruism. This ethical creed insists that individuals are morally obliged to benefit others. Besides other ways of helping others sans any expectation, it includes donation of blood while alive and pledging of eyes, organs to be donated after death. Like Pramod let’s choose to be useful to ones who we don’t know, even when we are no more!

Death cannot deter true benefit to others…
If altruism is chosen over burial or embers!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Precious Gift

A wandering woman found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveller and she opened her bag to share her food. He saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveller left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.

However, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. ‘I've been thinking,’ he said. ‘I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone.’

Sharing could involve collective use or outright gifting of one’s possession. We find it easier to share joint use, but find internal resistance if asked to part with valuables… be they resources, knowledge or skills. So often, for most of us, sharing is a comparative and reflexive activity. We give gifts to only those who give us gifts.

We are seized by insecurities towards our possessions. Consider knowledge for instance. Those who readily gift knowledge to the others are more worthy than the greatest of scholars who refuse to share their knowledge. In my occupation, the most admired trainers are not the ones who are the best at what they do; but ones who have ‘nurtured’ other trainers.

The ability to gift without any preconditions of transaction leads to a great treasure. By letting go, we liberate ourselves. By sharing, we enhance our relationship with the other person. By gifting, we empower our attitude and abilities. Such an attitude of unconditional sharing is the most precious gift that we can possess.

let go of the insecurities of possession
precious is the gift born of liberation!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Cacaphony & Waiting (previous Monday's Muse)

Singer, Sonu Nigam tweeted about being forced to wake up due to the disturbance caused by the loudspeaker blaring out calls for prayers. Although, he mentioned a specific instance in his locality, he added that he was against all cacophony that violated the peace as well as the legal restrictions.

The virtual space turned cacophonic. Some accused him of insensitivity and selective prejudice. Some agreed with his basic assertion against use of loudspeakers in public space. Some found it yet another excuse to play polarising posturing by diverting the discussion.

It is pertinent to note that cacophony refers to ‘loud, confused, and usually inharmonious sound’. And the response (to a valid request to observe basic civic sense) was selective in its indignation. So often we find that persons, who use loud jarring ringtones, are irritated by the ones used by their neighbours.

It was obvious that we find our own cacophony as a necessity while that by others seems a nuisance. If we all lower our own volume of sound, the world will be a better place. This should be followed by all occupants in public space. Our right to be heard cannot be allowed to deafen others by excessive decibels.

Cacophony is the same, whether thine or mine
Lower volume in public spaces is truly divine!

~ Pravin Sabnis


Also MONDAY 17 APRIL 2017 which by mistake was not posted here

WAITING

Last Monday, my smart phone went silent as the battery had to be replaced. It took me five days and four long visits to the service centre to get my phone back into action. The predicament kept me off the whatsapp platform and gave me more time to observe life at the service station.

Most customers would be agitated over not getting fast service. While some customers had complains that they were kept waiting endlessly, the service personnel kept explaining that they had connectivity issues which affected their ability to close the need. But most customers were averse to waiting.

Interestingly, waiting is a two way process. When I was waiting to get back my phone, the persons at the reception desk and the repair desk, too were waiting on me. As a noun, ‘waiting’ refers to a period of pause, interval, or delay. But as an adjective it refers to those serving or being in attendance. And, we must have respect for those who wait on us!

The tolerance for waiting is a fast diminishing trait. Everyone seems to be in a tearing hurry. We end up hurling indignation at the ones who serve us. It is pertinent to note that we may have heard similar words from those kept waiting by us. When we ‘wait’ due to delay, we must have empathy for the ones who ‘wait’ on us.

Avoid opting for trigger happy fighting...
Empathy empowers tolerance for waiting!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Keeping a friend alive

When he was alive some would refer to him as ‘your friend’
And then mock him for what he said or did against the trend…
Now that he is no more, they say he was ‘their close friend’
As they declare they were with him on issues together to fend!

Some cry more fiercely than the ones who truly grieve
Some lament louder than hearts turned into a sieve…
Some talk about memories that the world always knew
Some stalk on the stage as if they are the heroic few!

But time will show who really were under his spell
Who were the ones that he inspired so well…
For the many fans, their hero will never be felled
They will continue the story that he lived to tell!

The one who has died can live on forever
in minds, in hearts and actions of the lover…
His legacy of empathy would diminish never
If we choose focus over occasional fervour!

The thoughts of his mind, should be ours too
Where actions are more and words are few…
With words to be used for deeds that are new
We can keep him alive, in a legacy that we sew!

We can keep our friend alive if we rededicate
To his commitment to compassion predicate
In the end, our actions over time will indicate
That his worthy living we chose to truly vindicate!

~ Pravin Sabnis
(Written in the aftermath of the death of a compassionate combatant for human dignity and justice, Satish Sonak… with the intent to trigger a resolve in self and others who want to keep him alive)

Fed back

Salt is a crucial ingredient for most culinary preparations. If it is in lesser than normal proportion, we point out the error to the cook; so that the necessary amend can be made. While we, so easily, point out the deficit of salt, we forget to point out when the salt is in the right proportion!

It is pertinent to note that we find it easy to identify the fault but we often forget to appreciate the absence of an anomaly. We take for granted that feedback is only to point out deficiency. Surely, it is unfair if feedback only identifies mistakes and does not involve in appreciation for an action done right.

Feedback is a process in which effect or output of an action is 'returned' (fed-back) to modify the next action. It is the information that helps the recipient adjust current and future behaviour to improve performance. But it is not only the pointing out of mistakes that help improvements. Appreciation has its own impact as motivation.

We have to respect the hand that feeds when we give feedback. There are so many who serve us… the cooks, the helpers, the servicemen, the hygiene keepers, the farmers, the utility workers… so many who ‘feed’ us but do not receive appreciative ‘fed-back’. Instead, we keep harping on errors till they get fed-up. We need to ensure that the ‘fed-back’ remains fair at all times!

The ones who serve may occasionally err
But the ‘fed-back’ must be constantly fair!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Not heard!

In my various training interventions with the deaf and mute, I observed two distinguishing characteristics. Firstly, they were good at grasping my communication. Secondly, all the ones I met looked half their age! Persons who were forty years old looked just twenty. The faces of parents looked young enough to be teenagers.

While the first seemed logical the second seemed intriguing. But, over the years I realised that the reason was that they had ‘not heard’ a single negative comment or discouraging statement or a humiliating condemnation. Hence they had lesser reasons to frown, sulk or get angry. This resulted in a less strained face.

Now look at the children who can hear. They hear a lot of negatives and judgemental statements. They hear more ‘don’t’s than ‘do’s. They keep hearing unfair comparisons with others. Such, damaging talk leads to negative self-esteem or doubts in self-worth. Just imagine if children had ‘not heard’ undesirables.

The spoken word can be a severe blow. Hence sages have recommended restraint while expressing the negative. Of course, it is pertinent to note that besides the word, the tone too carries the potential to undermine the recipient. We must choose to ensure that the regressive is ‘not heard’!

Self-esteem helps soar like a bird…
When the judgemental is ‘not heard’!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Defeat Death

A young man was seized by an existential dilemma. He felt life was futile since death was not in his control. He believed that every effort of his would be in vain if death were to make an unsolicited occurrence. Hence, he decided to commit suicide. 

As he walked to a cliff edge, past memories kept flashing in his conscious memory. Eventually, his mind moved to the future. He began visualising the reactions of people to his death. His imagination projected a refrain, ‘he killed himself!’

He realised that his demise would be of his chosen method and at his selected time and place. Obviously, he had a say over his death. He turned back from his tracks and moved on to take head-on the challenges of life… and death!

So often, we give up on doing things we like to do just because we are convinced of the certainty of failure. This is similar to giving up on life, just because death is a certainty. Let’s not worry too much about defeat or death and the uncertainties that surround them. We must overcome the negative to nurture positive possibilities.

Bhagat Singh wrote, ‘Jeena hai toh marna seekho yaaro’ (to live well, learn to die). At the age of 23, he happily walked to his gallows along with his colleagues and he showed us how to embrace life by defeating death! Even though his death day was advancing, he did not give up on life, putting every minute to appropriate use.

Defeating death is all about moving beyond the vice of ambiguity. When we defeat diffidence we discover possibilities. The one who is halted by the sceptre of death will always be blind to the ways to be alive. The glorious uncertainties of life are far more empowering than the destabilising certainty of death.

Life is full of possibilities fresh…
Choose to defeat death’s crash!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Holi

Leaves sprout… flowers bloom
Trees smile and chase the gloom
Spring is here to spread the cheer
Shed your inhibitions, have no fear!

Here’s the flavoured milk, say cheers
For the veterans, open the bhang & beers
The fire’s going down, bring more wood
There it lies where once the tree stood

A full moon looks on as winds stoke embers,
in the season of spring, trees get dismembered
Wood chars, so does the plastic trash
flowers singe smearing earth with ash.

Next we get to spray the colours everywhere
Made from mud, paint and chemicals not very rare
But don’t you mind the itch and the stains
It won’t happen till spring comes again!

(a poem written on 3 March 2007)
- Pravin K. Sabnis

Circulus In Probando

Last May, I saw a video by a teenager daughter of a martyr soldier. I was all choked up by the predicament of a two year old child who grows up to hate an entire community and an entire country because she believes that they killed her father. However, her mother makes her see the larger perspective and Gurumehar Kaur grew up to be a soldier of peace.

One of the lines, on a poster that Kaur holds in the silent video is now being put out in isolation of her larger cry for peace... of course the twisting of truth is a reaction to her current opposition to the student union politics... but the majority of the trolling is carried forward by those who had not seen that particular video. Some have insisted that she be punished, banished and a few want her brutalised.

The trolls are using a method used in arguments - called ‘Circulus in probando’ (Latin for 'circle in proving) – actually, a logical fallacy in which the reasoner begins with what they are trying to end with. The components of a circular argument appear logically valid because if the premise is true, the conclusion must be true.

For instance in the case of the young girl, the ‘Circulus in probando’ goes like this
She said the enemy country is not guilty of the crime.
We know that the enemy country is guilty of the crime.
Hence, she is guilty of supporting the crime!

It is pertinent to note that the first line is a twisted fact if you check out the video where the teenager blames the leadership of the other country too ... but if you accept the premise as true, the conclusion appears true too...

On social media, the use of ‘Circulus in probando’ is common. In fact, even decent disagreements with the girl’s stand evoked similar methods of trolling. It is hence necessary to examine the primary statement to escape the vicious vice of the logical fallacy of circular reasoning. What seems logical may well be falsehood if the foundation of an argument is an untruth or a misrepresentation.

If premise is faulty, inference may well be tragic
We must not yield blindly to the circle of logic!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Live Mic

The trainer was conducting a session on Interpersonal Communication. He was urging the participants to be courteous, dignified, open minded and responsive. He was recommending certain best practices to ensure the absence of hurtfulness or aggression in the interaction especially during conversations on the telephone.

In the break, the trainer went to the washroom. While there, he got a call from his secretary. For no reason, he got abusive and started heaping humiliations on her. All the participants in the hall were aghast. They had heard every word as the trainer had forgotten to switch off the microphone connected to the collar of his shirt!


The mic is always on for those who preach, those who take centre stage, those who take the high moral ground… major microphone gaffes have exposed the two faced behaviour of people who have diametrically diverse conduct in public space and private space. Such revelations of unacceptable inconsistency have felled many an image.

It is about core character and how we behave in different spaces at different times. It is pertinent to note that the mic is always on and we should remain aligned to our values that must remain constant whether on stage or off it. The live mic is a test of character that is confirmed by constancy in actions… whether we are what we project ourselves to be!

The live mic is surely a real check
Of a consistent act on every deck!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Useful

Poet-saint Kabir wrote the following simple yet profound lines…
‘Bada hua toh kya hua… jaise pedh khajur…
Panthi ko chaya nahin… fal phi lagte ati dur’
(So what if you have grown tall… but like a date palm…
You have no shade to offer and your fruit is out of reach)

A date palm grows tall to an impressive height, projecting eminence and a distinction of its own. But it does not provide shade to weary travellers. And its fruit grows so high that one cannot easily pluck it. Using this analogy, Kabir raises questions about our vain personalities.

What good is the eminence that arises from our achievements, if it is not useful to others? Kabir insists that our personal growth should not distance us from usefulness to others. The trees which offer shade to the weary and fruits to the hungry are preferred to those which only grow to self-centred prominence.

We aspire to grow. But if our growth is useful for others our achievements become worthwhile for others too. Any growth that is only of value to the owner is not worthy of applause and appreciation. Hence we must ensure that the benefits of our personal growth are shared with others.

Greatness is not just in growing tall...
But ensuring that we are useful to all!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

MAHATMA ALIVE

A 2005 movie directed by Jahnu Barua, explores the downward spiral of a retired professor, Uttam Chaudhary (portrayed by Anupam Kher) as he falls victim to dementia. He begins to insist that he killed Gandhi by accidentally playing with a toy gun into which someone else had placed real bullets. He keeps repeating the line which is the title of the film: Maine Gandhi Ko Nahin Mara (I Did Not Kill Gandhi)!

The roots of his illusion are in a childhood incident of playing darts on balloons filled with red water and placed on someone's picture. That day someone placed Gandhi's picture on the balloon that 8-year old Uttam popped just as his father arrived. The same evening, Gandhi was assassinated. Uttam’s father’s blaming created a permanent scar on the young child’s sub conscious mind.

Uttam’s psychiatrist and daughter use a mock court trial to point to him that he is not the culprit. A gun expert says that a toy gun (which Uttam believes he killed Gandhi with) cannot kill anyone. A relieved and liberated Uttam turns track to ask everyone, ‘aren’t we responsible for the killing of Gandhi on a daily basis?’

While the film deals with the fear and uncertainty that a victim of dementia goes through, it is also a metaphor for Gandhi who is reviled by some. Falsehoods are repeated to tarnish the one who inspires so many across the world. It is pertinent to note that many who justify the assassination of a great man are ignorant of his writings or are fuelled by hate.

How did Gandhi get reduced to just a road, a stamp, and a statue? 'You remember me only on two days, October 2 and January 30,' cries Chaudary on behalf of his beloved leader. We must emulate the one who is worth emulating in terms of his simplicity, courage, and love for all. We can be better human beings by keeping alive the thinking and actions of Mahatma!

It is wonderful to keep the Mahatma alive
His thoughts ensure humanity will thrive!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Discern

Many years ago, on a visit to my favourite barber, I asked him for a ‘Dil Chahta hai’ haircut. The film was had just released and I had seen promotional posters with the three lead actors sporting short hairdos. He immediately asked, ‘‘which actor’s style?’ I calmly retorted, ‘they are all the same!’

He promptly pulled out a film magazine with a poster of the film… and he was able to show me the difference in the three styles. I realized that while I had seen the image only superficially, my friend had looked at the same image with a deep discerning insight!

‘Discerning’ is an adjective that comes from the Old French discerner, meaning to ‘distinguish (between), separate (by sifting).’ Which makes sense, because someone with discerning tastes or a discerning eye is good at distinguishing the variety and noticing the distinctness even in things that seem to be from the same set.

Discerning people pick up on subtle traits and are good judges of quality — they're the ones who can tell if the cakes are homemade from the finest ingredients or totally from a box mix. They can make better choices as they are better informed by their ability to observe the details. They choose to be learners with an open mind.

Often, we jump to opinions and conclusions based on surface insights. We end up becoming know all experts without really being so. Discerning persons have keen insight and good judgement because they have the attitude of observing without jumping to conclusions. They are able to see and understand people, things, or situations clearly and judiciously.

It is so wonderful to be able to discern

Indeed it is the only way to truly learn!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Belief Handicap

Struck by paraplegia after 16 years of normal life, she could not imagine life beyond darkness and misery. The numbness in her body below the waist also involved the loss of bladder and bowel control. However she drew inspiration from her father’s favourite quote- ‘khudh ko kar buland itna ke kudha tujhi se puche- bataa teri raza kya hai’ (empower yourself such that God himself succumbs to your wish).

She understood that staying bedridden was not the solution. What lay ahead was not just physical but also economical dependency. She had to first overcome her ‘belief handicap’. Determined to defeat her predicament, she confronted the odds and experienced encouraging results, a growing self-confidence and an emerging positive outlook over-riding her post paraplegia negative views.

To improve her physical self-sufficiency, she got a wheel chair. She continued her education, obtained a Degree in Economics, got a Government job, and eventually progressed up to the position of Deputy Office Superintendent of Customs and Central Excise, on her own merits. Her tryst with overcoming the belief handicap is chronicled in her Marathi book, 'Chakachi khurchi' (The wheel chair).

Dr Naseema Hurzuk, fondly called Naseema didi, brought together a team of like-minded people, mostly physically challenged, to establish a residential rehabilitation center – ‘Helpers of the Handicapped’ at Kholapur, Maharashtra. Her team offers training and opportunities for the physically challenged to turn self-reliant persons living with dignity and pride. But the first step is to overcome the belief handicap!

We are restricted to despair by our belief handicap. Never mind the severity of the impediment; we can surmount every shortcoming if we rise above disbelief. The human mind needs the catalyst of self-belief to rise above overwhelming hurdles. Naseema didi and many others have inspired us to rise above the belief handicap.

The biggest of them all is the belief handicap…
When we overcome it, the future is ours to tap!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Late Mr I Can’t

Over the last fourteen years, a highly effective experiential activity is used by yours truly for pre-teen learners. It was inspired by an anecdote from the internet.

The children write down sentences starting with the words ‘I can’t’: ‘I can't kick the football into the goal’, ‘I can't swim’, ‘I can’t speak vernacular languages.’… These statements are placed into a box and ‘Mr I Can’t’ is pronounced dead. The kids take turns to dig a pit into which the box is placed. They decorate the grave with flowers and twigs. To mark the occasion, a funeral speech is delivered by yours truly.

“Friends, ‘Mr I Can't’ is no more. While he was alive, he had an immense influence on all of us. His brothers and sisters, ‘I Can’, ‘I Will’, and ‘I shall’ survive him. They are not as strong and powerful as their famous relative. But, with your help, they will make an even bigger mark on the world. May ‘late Mr I Can't’ rest in peace and may ‘I Can’, ‘I Will’, and ‘I shall’ replace his role in our lives."

The children are asked to rephrase the statements they wrote, by replacing ‘I Can’t’ with ‘I Can’, ‘I Will’, and ‘I shall’. Obviously the negative statements turn to positive resolves with the addition of clearly defined choices: ‘I can kick the football into the goal, if I practice’ ‘I can swim if I attend swimming classes’, ‘I can speak the vernacular languages if I listen and converse in those languages’.

The experience ensured an enduring lesson. The process of removing negative belief is not complete without the replacement of affirmative resolves of aligned action choices. We must bury the ‘late Mr I Can’t’ and add life to ‘I Can’, ‘I Will’, and ‘I shall’. Transformation has to first start with our beliefs and then move to actions.

Deduct late Mr I Can’t from the defeating talk
Choose positive belief and the ways to walk…

- Pravin K. Sabnis

A new song

Cast the sadness away
Together let’s walk the way
It is our smile that will bring
The splendid cheer of spring

Sing a fresh tune;
Sing a new song.
A new season,
a new day shall come along...

Let this song be full of play
Like a boat on a wavy way..
Keep up the spirits when down
Dreams rise with the setting frown

The wind that takes the breath away,
‘Dance with me’, it seems to say!
Live life with full-on passion…
Ride the wind with positive emotion!

It is true that we live only once…
Life is constantly altering stance;
Embrace every moment with a cheer
Joy will be found by overcoming fear.

Sing a fresh tune;
Sing a new song.
A new season,
a new day shall come along...

- Pravin K. Sabnis