Monday, March 27, 2017

Not heard!

In my various training interventions with the deaf and mute, I observed two distinguishing characteristics. Firstly, they were good at grasping my communication. Secondly, all the ones I met looked half their age! Persons who were forty years old looked just twenty. The faces of parents looked young enough to be teenagers.

While the first seemed logical the second seemed intriguing. But, over the years I realised that the reason was that they had ‘not heard’ a single negative comment or discouraging statement or a humiliating condemnation. Hence they had lesser reasons to frown, sulk or get angry. This resulted in a less strained face.

Now look at the children who can hear. They hear a lot of negatives and judgemental statements. They hear more ‘don’t’s than ‘do’s. They keep hearing unfair comparisons with others. Such, damaging talk leads to negative self-esteem or doubts in self-worth. Just imagine if children had ‘not heard’ undesirables.

The spoken word can be a severe blow. Hence sages have recommended restraint while expressing the negative. Of course, it is pertinent to note that besides the word, the tone too carries the potential to undermine the recipient. We must choose to ensure that the regressive is ‘not heard’!

Self-esteem helps soar like a bird…
When the judgemental is ‘not heard’!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

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