Dignity

Recently in Goa, two bodies were sent back from cremation grounds as they were Covid deaths. Eventually, the cremation was performed at a third place. Some citizens of that town voiced their protest. But Ponda Municipal Council showed better sense in inviting an expert to understand the facts.

Dr Madhu Ghodkirekar, from the forensic department, explained that the last rites done by following settled protocol, carry no risk of contagion. For the next death, there was no opposition. Lawmaker Aleixo Reginaldo Lourenco attended the burial to send a strong message to accord dignity to the dead.  

Sadly, it is not a situation peculiar to the present pandemic. There are many who had denied dignity in life as well as death!

Ironically, death does not kill the processes of prejudice. We have no respect for the living. We have no compassion for the dead. The mockery of human rights continues. We attack their dignity with all the weapons at our command. Our weapons are religion, caste and (presently) misinformation.

The ‘right to die with dignity’ is compromised by our bigotry and intolerance. Rightful demand for non-discriminatory cemeteries and burial grounds are ignored. It is based on the division between us and them. But pandemics are great levellers. We cannot ignore that it could be us next!

We must realise that the battle is not between human beings or even between us and the pandemic. The conflict is between humanity and inhumanity… the tussle is between compassion and insensitivity… We must choose the honourable side of dignity for all human beings.

Don’t distance yourself from humanity

Give everyone their deserved dignity!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

No Rush

‘No Rush’ is more or less the opposite of ASAP (as soon as possible). The person using it is saying that there's no hurry. It means I do not need it right away, so don't hurry if you have another priority that is urgent.

It can be used in various ways. Someone who asks for something that isn't urgent can say 'no rush.’ Or, if you're waiting for someone who's busy, you can say ‘no rush’ to indicate that you're in no hurry and are willing to wait.

An important lesson we all learnt in the slowdown due to the pandemic is that we don’t really need to rush. Neither do others need to rush to fulfil our declared orders. Things can wait and it is possible to be more patient.

Of course, it does not mean putting off things or being careless about time. All that is important is not urgent and all that is urgent does need to be rushed into. Rush often results in undue pressure that can lead to mistakes.  

The idea is to be in control without the pressure of speed. It is wonderful to say as well as hear, ‘No rush, just take your time and do it well.’ Speed is secondary to doing something well… or maybe doing something else!

Unless truly urgent, learn to say ‘no rush’

The pressure of speed is oft undue fuss!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Hear Out

In 2004, I was Zone President of Zone XI of JCI India. One day, I received a call after 11.30pm from a Jaycee who had major issues with his local chapter President. He went on and on about one incident after the other.  

I realised that he expected me to intervene in what appeared to a personal tussle. However, I had no jurisdiction to involve in his local organisation. I knew he would be extremely upset when I would confess that I could do nothing. He would probably end up quitting the organisation.

When he finished speaking, instead of telling him of my inability, I asked him, ‘what do you expect me to do?’ He immediately replied, ‘Nothing! As the head of our Zone, I wanted you to know about what’s going on!’

He wanted nothing from me other than hearing him out! Nothing more… Nothing less! Maybe nobody else had heard him out. Since I listened fully to what he wanted to tell, his need was satiated. No further action was required from my side.

‘Hear me out’ means ‘listen to everything I have to say before you say anything.’ It means that the other person is asking to wait until the person has finished the explanation, argument or story before I respond or react.

Most of the time, we do not hear out. We interject to sort out the issue. In case of feedback, we try to defend or justify. We hurry to close the matter as per our perception. We try to solve what may not require a solution. However when we ‘hear out’ we are in the best position! Nothing else may be needed.

When you see an agitated spout

Be persevering to hear them out!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Image

Pedro noticed that some posts and pictures of his friend on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram had disappeared. He had ‘liked’ and ‘commented’ on the posts about a ‘good time with friends on the beach’.

He called up his friend to inform him about the occurrence. His friend was quiet on the other side of the phone call. Pedro decided to cheer him up, ‘don’t worry, nothing lost! I had downloaded all posts of your get-together.’  

His friend slowly spoke up, ‘It was me who deleted my posts… I had erred by breaking norms of distancing during the lockdown (due to the pandemic)… Please delete the evidence as I don’t want to be seen as a violator.’

Pedro retorted, ‘so you want to be but not to seem?’

What we put up on social media tells what we want to seem to the world. It is difficult to cover the traces we leave behind. Our online activities are easily available as is the tracking of our online data. Yet we try to cover up.

To cover up tracks completely, the easiest way is to not making them. If Pedro’s friend had not involved in a purposeful wrongdoing, his transgression would not have been exposed. He was worried now as he was caught.

Our image is a perception that arises from our actions. Do not fret about the image. We should focus on strength of our character. We must work on who we are and what we do, instead of shallow concerns of what we seem.

Actions that come from the good you deem

Are greater than the image that you seem!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Pretence

‘Wise men talk because they have something to say;

fools because they have to say something’ - Plato

The wise talk because they have a clear sense of purpose and perspective. They truly have something to say… something that can be validated… something that is drawn from objective facts. The fools have no such principal and they generally speak from a situation of ignorance.

It is pertinent to note that frauds also speak because they have to say something. They are on a high pedestal of arrogance and pretence. They speak with incendiary pompousness that is misguided and based on accidental or deliberate misunderstandings.

Once, a newspaper invited a businessman to write a ‘tribute’ to an endearing person who died young. After the customary declaration of the greatness of the dead one, the writer moved on to quote incidents and make judgemental comments that turned the tribute into slander. Readers were livid.

The writer’s pettiness and prejudices were confirmed. It was obvious that he was not the competent person to say something about the departed. Yet he grabbed the opportunity and walked onto the podium of pretence. Pretence is no good even if it is flattery because the public ‘sab jaanti hai’ (knows all).

We must choose to not speak or write when we have nothing to say. There is no shame in not knowing. However it is shameful to pretend that one knows. When we do so we delude only ourselves. We expose ourselves as fools or frauds on the platform of pretence. We should choose to be otherwise.

when nothing to say, don’t commence

avoid falling at the podium of pretence!

~ Pravin K Sabnis