Que Sera Sera

On Saturday I watched the film ‘K Sera Sera’ once again. Produced by Rajesh Pednekar and directed by Rajeev Shinde, two long-time collaborators in creativity, the Konkani film has brought together the country’s best technicians, a well written screenplay and a marvellous ensemble cast led by Palomi Ghosh and Pednekar. It presents two stories that explore the theme of ‘whatever will be, will be’.

‘Que Sera Sera’ has been a popular song, written by Jay Livingston and Ray Evans, in the 1956 Hitchcock film ‘The Man Who Knew Too Much’, starring Doris Day and James Stewart. The Spanish words point out that some things are beyond our control. The deeper meaning is to accept that we cannot change everything we wish to.

The message is to choose to accept. It is a philosophy that life rolls on, moving from highs to lows. We must move beyond wanting to change everything. Of course, we must change the things we can. We must put efforts in changing things we feel we should. But if can’t change them, we must not fret and sweat.

This does not mean we should retreat to escapism or pessimism. It is not about giving up. It is about avoiding the needless burden of onus on self for things that don’t go your way. It is about pointless worries for the future. It is about over emphasis on insisting that efforts must lead to only desirable outcomes.

When we are stressed out by disproportionate suspicions about eventualities or unnecessary uncertainties, we must choose to see the positive philosophy of ‘Que Sera Sera’. It gives us the strength to face accidents like the passing away of a dear one, the failure despite the best efforts, the fears of the unknown future.

Future haunts when worries we nourish…
‘que sera sera’ allows positive to flourish!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Ready to Play

The phrase ‘Lead, follow or get out of the way’ is inconclusively attributed to Thomas Paine and many others. It appealed to me and resulted in many activity sets in my training programs. However, the third part was understood by me as different from the obvious meaning to ‘keep out of the way’.

Consider the analogy of a football team. The player with the ball is the ‘lead’ of the moment. The remaining players are meant to ‘follow’. So who would be ‘Get out of the way’? Referee? No! Coach? No! Audience? No!

Then, who? It is the players on the bench!!!


The reserve players are not playing. They are neither leading nor following. But they have to be ready to play! They have to be fully aligned to the flow of the game and be in position, to use it, if called to join play. All though not in the playing team, their focus and zeal cannot be lesser than the ones on the playing field.

It is said that teams in sports are as good as their bench strength. A high premium is placed on players who are ‘ready to play’. It is no mean task to have the tolerance to ‘actively’ wait as well as cheer on the players who are playing on the field. They display the right team spirit of supporting, observing and being ready to play!

So often, so many of us yearn for the main role (lead) or the supporting one (follow). However teams are empowered by the ones who are ‘ready to play’… by the ones who are not weighed done by the ‘waiting’… by those who ‘stay out of the way’ but stay close to the playing arena… with preparedness to play… and play to win!

The ones on the bench show the way
To ‘actively’ wait and be ready to play!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Update

The trainer was addressing his learners, ‘we update our mobiles and computers… we upgrade various appliances and machines that we use… we update our status on social media… we modernize our furniture and clothes… we tend to update everything that we use… but do we update our learning?’

A voice, from the back rows, queried, ‘Do you?’

So often, persons from my tribe (of trainers, teachers, educators), preach something that we may not be practising. Among such gaps in the ‘walk-talk’ is the tendency to insist that the learners should learn and yet we may not involve in the learning process to update our knowledge, skills and attitude.

We will not handover repairs to a mechanic who is not updated with the latest developments regarding the machine. We prefer professionals who keep updating and upgrading their know-hows and skills. Sportspersons keep trying to learn newer and better ways of playing the sport. The one who knows is the one who grows!

We must update our competencies and capabilities. As seniors, we recommend it to our juniors. As parents, we insist that our children do it. As preachers, we expect our followers to practise it. But it is pertinent to be able to affirmatively answer the question posed to us by our children, learners or juniors, ‘Do you update?’

Don’t be smug with competence of the past
Those who update are the ones who will last!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Ink it

In Std IX, we encountered Professor JAM (short for J.A. Menezes) who welcomed us to play with maths. He threw us a mental challenge in form of a series of puzzles. As we tried to solve it in our minds, he urged us, ‘don’t think it… Ink it!’ We opened our notebooks and put pen to paper… put our thoughts to the sight board.

Last Friday, our popular and effective teacher passed away. But his many lessons live on. It includes the above quote by Mark Victor Hansen which he promoted as the right way to think. It was beyond mathematics and turned out to be the best lesson for life. The best way to see our thoughts is to write them down.

There are many ways to ink it. Besides using pen, we can use pencils or colours. We can use chalk on slate. We can inscribe on sand with a stick. We can scribble on a wet surface. We use things like twigs and sticks to make various formations. We can shape out or carve in clay. Nowadays we can write on touchscreens.

When we ‘ink’ our thoughts they come in sight in a greater visual perspective. We can add or detract effortlessly. We can change or develop them better. We can reorganise and rearrange the thoughts. We can create strategies. We can define purposes. We can outline plans of action.

When we ‘ink it’ we are better placed for immediate exertion as well as a recall tool for the future. When we face with our own thoughts, we see them for what they really are. Writing down Professor JAM’s various quotes made for deeper insights every time I looked at them. They remain as memorable and meaningful as he was!

The thought in our mind needs exposure
‘Ink it’ for deeper insights and disclosure!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Appreciation

In football, the player who successfully scores a goal rarely waits for validation. He breaks into a celebration run, happily punching the air, screaming out his lungs, stretching his smile and doing the victory dance. He does not wait for appreciation from others. He chooses to bask in his own appreciation.

But my friend was not so. He played many parts: educationist, actor, singer, musician, humourist and above all an appreciator. He would be quick to appreciate the slightest of good in others. But he denied it to himself. He was always tough on himself. He was forever sacrificing for others till he sacrificed his life many years ago.

Every time, he comes to mind, he brings along a wistful emotion… of a sad life that sought happiness for others... of a giver who gave abundantly and received frugally… and the prime perpetrator was he! He did not gift himself the attitude of his appreciation. He gave others coloured clothes but wore white and black.

Our attitude is a product of experiences in our impressionable age. Negative conditioning often leads to denial of the self. William James said that the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. But when we deny ourselves the appreciation that we deserve, we mire ourselves in unhappiness.

My friend knew his many talents and capacities. Yet he denied himself the appreciation that he would so easily offer to others. If only, he had celebrated his amazing performances like the football player after netting the goal, maybe his life would have been happier. May he would have been alive for his birthday tomorrow!

Each needs appreciation for happiness to be…

Why wait for others when it can start with me?

~ Pravin Sabnis

Out of form – MondayMuse (22 Jan’18)

the MONDAY MUSE of 22 January 2018 was wrongly posted on my poetry blog instead of here... here is making amends...

OUT OF FORM

On Facebook, Parag Hede raised a thought-provoking point on the term ‘out of form’ which is used to explain failure of sportspersons. The deliberations identified that it could be due to distractions (lack of focus) or fortification of a bad practice (habit) or a state of mind or confirmation of incapability to measure up to new challenges.

It is pertinent to note that ‘out of form’ is not an occurrence exclusive to sports. Other disciplines too, show good ‘players’ go through periods of repeated failures or underperforming. In sports, ‘out of form’ players have to take corrective steps or step out of the next game. It should be similar for other disciplines too!

Every enterprise can have best performers slip into ‘out of form’. When it occurs, one has to introspect and take remedial actions. But we may not to do so as our failures may not be up for public scrutiny (especially in comparison to other players). We may not have a coach or a selection committee to identify our ‘out of form’ status. And few of us would publicly accept our predicament even if we were aware of it.

For our own sake, we must define criteria of performance and assign evaluators to conduct appraisals. Business teams, professionals, organisations are increasingly appointing auditors to assess performance. These performance auditors must be impartial and timely to ensure prompt remedial actions for positive transformations.

Failure to take corrective steps sets us back in our tracks. Hence we need to have assessment of our defective actions. Additionally, we need to be told the reasons for repeated mediocre results or underperforming. When we are told, we will know. When we know, we can take steps to get out of ‘out of form’!

Only when we know we are ‘out of form’…
We can walk the remedial route to reform

~ Pravin Sabnis

Little pebbles in little hands

When a little hand clenches a little pebble
not to play… but to hurl, hurt and cripple…
When with fear and rage little ones tremble
it is the loss of a mind born openly simple!

A mind of a child is for kindness to reside
but some elders unkindly otherwise decide…
Love is submerged under the reprisal tide
and the loving child turns to a spiteful side!

Future is not for diggers of the past season
who ignore lessons that lead to reason…
Lines are drawn to define loyalty and treason
and childhood bears the brunt of the hate-lesson!

And little hands are handed pebbles for hurling
at hoods who as warriors are masquerading…
Never mind the trigger, we need calm thinking
does a child’s mind deserves such burning?

No wrongs can be ever set right this way
where children are led from peace to stray…
There are better paths than the bloody bay
where missiles are born of things of play!

It is time to speak up to reach every hearing
that the larger fight needs careful considering…
Little hands are not meant for harmful hurting
Little hands are meant for positive building!

So hand little pebbles to little hands now
but not in the name of another holy cow…
Let little hands with little pebbles play to show
Little towers that rise with hope on the brow!

And if not towers let the pebbles form a way
like steps that rise to lead to a better day…
in the name of humanity let’s assert to say
‘little hands need little pebbles only for play!’

~ Pravin Sabnis
(triggered by a video of a young child carrying stones to hurl at the crooks who unleashed violence on members from his community)