Time

Last Monday, six books of plays written by Suchita Narvekar were published. The books are scripts of successful plays that have completed many shows. Speaking on the occasion, she mentioned that an acquaintance remarked, ‘Six books? You wrote six books? You must be having a lot of time at your disposal.’

It is pertinent to note that Suchita is a player of many parts: an enterprising entrepreneur, a passionate theatre person, a popular jockey on radio, a responsive and socially conscious citizen and a super active person. Obviously she has her plate full! Yet she was able to find the time to write and publish her plays.

Time is a resource that is equally available to everyone. Yet some like Suchita can find the time to do many activities while others seem to repeat the refrain, ‘I have no time!’ Pedro says that every time we declare that we don’t have time, it means that we don’t how to or we don’t want to. While the former is about time management skills, the latter reflects the resistance coming from our attitude.

If we all have the same hours to the day, everyone is equally advantaged to do the things we want. Hence the cue lies in the desire to do things. Hence, persons like Suchita find the time to do many diverse things as they are driven by a passion to do those things. And if we do all the things we like, we lead fuller lives. Eventually it is the busy who can find time because they are motivated to do so!

Fill up life with purposes born of passion
Find the time to involve in many actions!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Cheerful Choice

Facial expressions are a response to a stimulus. They are signals of emotion and social intent as a reaction to a situation or event or an individual or even a thought. However there are times when this choice is sans stimulus. This is reflected in what I like to call the neutral expression.

The neutral expression is one you wear without any stimulus, not even thought. It is the visual that others notice when you are by yourself. You could be walking, waiting or watching, all without knowing that you are being observed. It is the face that a candid camera would capture.

Some wear a blank expression, some have a persistent frown, some seem gloomy, some seem tired, some seem seething... but there are ones who seem perpetually pleased. Their eyes are alight with bliss. The smile curve is never reversed without reason. Being with such persons is a boon as their cheer is infectious.

Being cheerful cannot be a single choice of wearing a beaming expression. We need the internal trigger of positivity. We must be at peace with disappointments and doubts. We must look forward with hope. We must let go of hate and vengefulness. We must unlearn conditioning that introduces negativity in our attitude.

We cannot choose our situation at all times. We cannot choose results to our efforts. We cannot choose reactions of others. But we can choose positive thinking… of belief and hope… never mind the stimulus or the absence of it. Our neutral expression can be sunny even when we face darkness born of fatigue or failure… we will be enthused and energized… and so will others who see us!

Never mind the stimulus or the lack of it…
The choice to be cheerful is worth every bit!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Altruism

Yesterday, my facebook friend Pramod Kudchadkar passed away after losing out the battle with illness. His eyes (cornea) were donated along with his body to be useful to someone else. The cornea will help two persons have their sight restored and the body will aid many directly and indirectly. Truly an act of altruism by the one who pledged and the family who honoured that pledge!

The word ‘altruism’ was devised by French philosopher Auguste Comte in French, as altruisme, as an antonym of the word ‘egoism’. He derived it from the Italian altrui, which in turn was derived from Latin alteri, meaning ‘other people’ or ‘somebody else’. It is about selflessness as a practice born of the concern for others.

Altruism is when an individual performs an action at a cost to himself but it benefits another individual, sans any expectation of reciprocity or compensation for that action. It is pertinent to note that altruism is different from sentiments of obligation which are predicated by relationships. Altruism is beyond relationships and hence it benefits others.

This world will be a better place if more and more of us choose acts of altruism. This ethical creed insists that individuals are morally obliged to benefit others. Besides other ways of helping others sans any expectation, it includes donation of blood while alive and pledging of eyes, organs to be donated after death. Like Pramod let’s choose to be useful to ones who we don’t know, even when we are no more!

Death cannot deter true benefit to others…
If altruism is chosen over burial or embers!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Precious Gift

A wandering woman found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveller and she opened her bag to share her food. He saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveller left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.

However, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. ‘I've been thinking,’ he said. ‘I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone.’

Sharing could involve collective use or outright gifting of one’s possession. We find it easier to share joint use, but find internal resistance if asked to part with valuables… be they resources, knowledge or skills. So often, for most of us, sharing is a comparative and reflexive activity. We give gifts to only those who give us gifts.

We are seized by insecurities towards our possessions. Consider knowledge for instance. Those who readily gift knowledge to the others are more worthy than the greatest of scholars who refuse to share their knowledge. In my occupation, the most admired trainers are not the ones who are the best at what they do; but ones who have ‘nurtured’ other trainers.

The ability to gift without any preconditions of transaction leads to a great treasure. By letting go, we liberate ourselves. By sharing, we enhance our relationship with the other person. By gifting, we empower our attitude and abilities. Such an attitude of unconditional sharing is the most precious gift that we can possess.

let go of the insecurities of possession
precious is the gift born of liberation!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Cacaphony & Waiting (previous Monday's Muse)

Singer, Sonu Nigam tweeted about being forced to wake up due to the disturbance caused by the loudspeaker blaring out calls for prayers. Although, he mentioned a specific instance in his locality, he added that he was against all cacophony that violated the peace as well as the legal restrictions.

The virtual space turned cacophonic. Some accused him of insensitivity and selective prejudice. Some agreed with his basic assertion against use of loudspeakers in public space. Some found it yet another excuse to play polarising posturing by diverting the discussion.

It is pertinent to note that cacophony refers to ‘loud, confused, and usually inharmonious sound’. And the response (to a valid request to observe basic civic sense) was selective in its indignation. So often we find that persons, who use loud jarring ringtones, are irritated by the ones used by their neighbours.

It was obvious that we find our own cacophony as a necessity while that by others seems a nuisance. If we all lower our own volume of sound, the world will be a better place. This should be followed by all occupants in public space. Our right to be heard cannot be allowed to deafen others by excessive decibels.

Cacophony is the same, whether thine or mine
Lower volume in public spaces is truly divine!

~ Pravin Sabnis


Also MONDAY 17 APRIL 2017 which by mistake was not posted here

WAITING

Last Monday, my smart phone went silent as the battery had to be replaced. It took me five days and four long visits to the service centre to get my phone back into action. The predicament kept me off the whatsapp platform and gave me more time to observe life at the service station.

Most customers would be agitated over not getting fast service. While some customers had complains that they were kept waiting endlessly, the service personnel kept explaining that they had connectivity issues which affected their ability to close the need. But most customers were averse to waiting.

Interestingly, waiting is a two way process. When I was waiting to get back my phone, the persons at the reception desk and the repair desk, too were waiting on me. As a noun, ‘waiting’ refers to a period of pause, interval, or delay. But as an adjective it refers to those serving or being in attendance. And, we must have respect for those who wait on us!

The tolerance for waiting is a fast diminishing trait. Everyone seems to be in a tearing hurry. We end up hurling indignation at the ones who serve us. It is pertinent to note that we may have heard similar words from those kept waiting by us. When we ‘wait’ due to delay, we must have empathy for the ones who ‘wait’ on us.

Avoid opting for trigger happy fighting...
Empathy empowers tolerance for waiting!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Keeping a friend alive

When he was alive some would refer to him as ‘your friend’
And then mock him for what he said or did against the trend…
Now that he is no more, they say he was ‘their close friend’
As they declare they were with him on issues together to fend!

Some cry more fiercely than the ones who truly grieve
Some lament louder than hearts turned into a sieve…
Some talk about memories that the world always knew
Some stalk on the stage as if they are the heroic few!

But time will show who really were under his spell
Who were the ones that he inspired so well…
For the many fans, their hero will never be felled
They will continue the story that he lived to tell!

The one who has died can live on forever
in minds, in hearts and actions of the lover…
His legacy of empathy would diminish never
If we choose focus over occasional fervour!

The thoughts of his mind, should be ours too
Where actions are more and words are few…
With words to be used for deeds that are new
We can keep him alive, in a legacy that we sew!

We can keep our friend alive if we rededicate
To his commitment to compassion predicate
In the end, our actions over time will indicate
That his worthy living we chose to truly vindicate!

~ Pravin Sabnis
(Written in the aftermath of the death of a compassionate combatant for human dignity and justice, Satish Sonak… with the intent to trigger a resolve in self and others who want to keep him alive)

Fed back

Salt is a crucial ingredient for most culinary preparations. If it is in lesser than normal proportion, we point out the error to the cook; so that the necessary amend can be made. While we, so easily, point out the deficit of salt, we forget to point out when the salt is in the right proportion!

It is pertinent to note that we find it easy to identify the fault but we often forget to appreciate the absence of an anomaly. We take for granted that feedback is only to point out deficiency. Surely, it is unfair if feedback only identifies mistakes and does not involve in appreciation for an action done right.

Feedback is a process in which effect or output of an action is 'returned' (fed-back) to modify the next action. It is the information that helps the recipient adjust current and future behaviour to improve performance. But it is not only the pointing out of mistakes that help improvements. Appreciation has its own impact as motivation.

We have to respect the hand that feeds when we give feedback. There are so many who serve us… the cooks, the helpers, the servicemen, the hygiene keepers, the farmers, the utility workers… so many who ‘feed’ us but do not receive appreciative ‘fed-back’. Instead, we keep harping on errors till they get fed-up. We need to ensure that the ‘fed-back’ remains fair at all times!

The ones who serve may occasionally err
But the ‘fed-back’ must be constantly fair!

- Pravin K. Sabnis