Unused

Pedro’s uncle was showing off his collection of bottles of cashew feni. He proudly proclaimed that the feni was over 30 years of age. Pedro pleaded, ‘can I have some?’ 

His uncle snapped back, ‘If I had given this feni to all those who asked, it wouldn't have aged to be 30 years old. It is going nowhere till I am alive’

Pedro asked, ‘and then?’  

While ageing of alcoholic brew can be purposeful, in this case Pedro’s uncle’s primal purpose is to avoid sharing. His feni is not being kept to drink after ageing… rather it is just being unused.

So often, we end up holding on to things that we have no intention to use… now or later! We have unused clothes, crockery and a host of things that are not going to be ever used by us nor do we allow others to use them.

It is said so well that ‘Sometimes older is better, but sometimes it's just older!’ We must examine the things we hold on unused. We must discover use for them, either for self or for others, lest it be rendered useless!

Without purpose do not refuse

Useless oft are things unused!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Touch

My favourite trainer, Fredrick Tucker had a favourite story of an abandoned baby that was wasting away in a hospital… it was not responding to treatment and the doctors were forced to enter its condition as ‘hopeless’ on the examination charts. They had virtually given up hope that the baby would recover.

A doctor, who had uncommon success in dealing with sick children, was called in as a last resort. He instructed to dress up the baby in nice clothes and put it in a cradle next to the hospital entrance. He asked for a large sign requesting passerby’s to hold the baby and play with it for a few minutes before moving on.

The method was ancient, but very effective. The baby turned healthy as visitors began to speak to and fondle the baby. The positive strokes of touch and the words of love was the balm that healed and transformed the life of that little baby that was suffering from a lack of touch and positive strokes.

Touch is a primal need, as necessary for growth as food, clothing or shelter. From the nuzzles and the caresses between mother and infant that form the foundation of the self, to the holding of hands between a son and his dying father that allows a final letting go, touch is our most intimate and powerful form of love.

However, touch is not just about physicality. It is about all strokes that come from our body language to the tone we use and the spoken words. Words of encouragement or a smile of approval are equal to an appreciative pat on the back. We can touch the inner core in various ways to encourage, motivate, support or just convey love.

Touch through strokes, fulfill the need

Not just physical, use word and deed!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Sales Talk

Pedro took his old donkey to the market place and sold it for Rs.6000/- The man who bought it immediately put it up for auction. ‘Look at this fine animal’, he shouted to passersby. ‘Have you ever seen a better specimen of a donkey? See how clean and strong it is!’ He went on to list the many qualities of the animal.

At the end of his sales talk, a man offered to buy it for ten thousand. Another man offered fifteen thousand. A third offered twenty. Pedro who was watching was amazed at the interest everyone was showing in the donkey.

Pedro was impressed, ‘What a fool I was to think it an ordinary animal.’ He suddenly realized that the owner had received a good offer and was about to close the bidding. Pedro shouted out, ‘Rs 30,000/-‘ and brought back his donkey at five times the cost he sold it for.

We are easily swayed by sales talk! Our assessment of value is based on projected worth. Packaging holds sway over the product inside. We allow ourselves to be deluded and persuaded instead of noticing actual worth.

The greater lesson is we do not realise the value of our possessions or that of our close ones. But when someone else projects what we have given up on, we realise the true worth of what we regarded of less value. We must escape the lure of sales talk and recognise the real worth.

Sales talks is actually projected sound
Recognise true worth when it is around!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Afford

On a cold winter day, a heavily dressed man noticed a poor man outside wearing little clothing and asked him, ‘I am wearing all these clothes and still feel a little cold, while you are barely wearing anything, and seem unaffected by the weather?’

The poor man replied, ‘I don't have any more clothes, so I can't afford to feel cold. But you have plenty of clothes, and thus have the liberty to feel cold."

So often, so many of us become victims to the comfort of the lifestyle that we have acquired. Our experience is dictated by the splurge of plenty. Since we can afford, we end up consuming more than we need. On the other hand, those who cannot afford, learn to leave within their means.

We must learn to free from the burden of dependence on the unnecessary. When we choose to live a life that is free from the comfort zone, we choose liberation. Our body and mind can handle challenges better if it is not over constrained by over indulgence just because we can afford it!

Never mind whether you can afford or not
Choose liberation from burdened thought!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Think out of box

A moneylender offered to forgo a farmer’s debt if he could marry his daughter. The cunning money-lender made it look like a fair deal. He told them that he would put a black and a white pebble into an empty bag. If the girl picked the black pebble, she would have to marry him and if she picked the white pebble she need not marry him.

The sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag. It seemed like an impossible situation for the young girl. She could not expose him lest he back off from the deal which offered a chance to escape the debt.

She purposefully fumbled while drawing out a pebble and let it fall and be lost on the pebble-strewn path. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘But if you look at the one left in the bag, you will know which pebble I picked.’ Since the money-lender could not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an advantageous one.

This story shows the difference between lateral and logical thinking. The girl's dilemma could not have been solved with traditional logical thinking. Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think differently. To be better at handling difficult situations, we need to think out of the box.

The term originates from an analogy that draws a person’s thought in comparison to a box and how anything outside seems far-fetched and unachievable. Thinking outside the box helps discover answers where none seem to exist. We need to break the barriers of the box of routine thinking.

Limited choices we see may not all that be
Think out of the box, set the solutions free!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Non-judgment

A farmer’s old horse ran off into the hills. When, his neighbours sympathised with him over his bad luck, the farmer replied, 'Maybe!’ A week later the horse returned with an imposing wild horse from the hills and this time the neighbours congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, 'Maybe!’

The farmer's son fell off and broke his leg while attempting to tame the wild horse. Everyone thought this to be bad luck. But the farmer maintained the same reaction, 'Maybe!’ A week later the army marched into the village and forcefully enlisted every able-bodied youth. However they let off the farmer's son due to his broken leg.

The farmer in the Zen story is practicing non-judgment. He displays tolerance for ambiguity. He understands that you can't judge any event as an ‘end’. Our life doesn't play out like a predictable script. There aren't definite breaks that separate one moment from another, and there isn't a seamless conclusion.

It’s the nature of the mind to judge. Sometimes, these judgments are helpful as they can lead to understand situation. But when left unbridled, the judging mind is taxing and controlling. It takes significant energy to evaluate every experience we encounter. There’s always something to be done about wherever you are.

Non-judgment means letting go of reflex judgments that arise in our mind with the experience we encounter. Keeping off the judging mind, even for a short while, is a refreshing weight off of our shoulders. Interestingly it opens our perspective to true mindful presence.

Don’t exult early… don’t immediately lament

Open the mind full-on, opt for non-judgment!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Tughlaq

Playwright – actor, Girish Karnad who passed away today, made a distinct impact on Indian theatre through his Kannada plays and his English translations of plays written by him as well as other playwrights. These included Tughlaq - a play written by him at the age of 26.

Tughlaq was a ruler with innovative ideas and a grand vision, but his reign eventually was a failure. He sought a unified large country but his rule degenerated into anarchy. He was a ruthless ruler and did not really trust anyone.

The play highlights the importance of credibility and authenticity for a leader. Two shrewd citizens identify and misuse the loopholes in every law so that they can profit. They end up contributing to the downfall of the best initiatives of Tughlaq.

A well-intentioned initiative can be undone if it is on pompous ground. Such a situation arises of not considering possible repercussions, lack of proper communication due to self-centredness and a trust deficit in the team that will implement the decision.

Every worthy idea needs to be considered for all possibilities of risk as well as potential. Clear communication is needed at the ideation, decision as well as implementation stage. Most important is real trust in all the stakeholders at various levels. Otherwise, the best of leaders can turn to be a Tughlaq!

Karnad’s Tughlaq is not just about history

It exposes flaws in contemporary authority!

~ Pravin K Sabnis