Salute

Four years ago, on this day, iconic Marathi poet Mangesh Padgaonkar passed away. His poem Salaam (Salute) became the post-Emergency voice of dissent for Marathi writers and poets and won him the Sahitya Akademi Award. I posted the poem on social media and received accusatory backlash from a few friends.

They accused Padgaonkar of being a ‘disruptionist’ and a provoker of unrest. They blamed me for indulging in mischief. Their indignation was considerably countered when they were informed that it was written over 40 years ago. Of course, they were primarily offended because the poem held a mirror to their habit of saluting.

                                          

L K Advani had said of the Indian media (during the Emergency days) that they crawled when asked to bend. Similarly we find persons who salute their masters even when they don’t need to. Some do it out of fear, some do it for favour. Some do it to be on the ‘right’ side, some do it to ensure that no ‘wrong’ happens to them.

It was the survival instinct, an attribute Padgaonkar identified astutely, and attacked with vigour in the poem. He sketched the imagery of scared common man willing to salute anyone in authority and ever-willing to comply. While some of us may become like that, the day belongs to the ones who stand up for the values they care!

We must ask ourselves why we look up to authority with fear and trepidation. We must introspect whether we have aligned to bowing down even we have done no wrong. It is okay to salute another out of respect or for acknowledging what’s good. But to do so for fear or favour is a sign of letting go of human dignity.

Without the freight of fear or lure of favour

Salute with dignity to values that are dear!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

GiftTime

My father K N Sabnis taught me that the best present to give anyone is the gift of time. And till his passing away on 24 December 1994, he practiced what he preached. He would take great pains to visit people in their good as well as bad times. When it was not possible to visit, he would spend time to pen letters to communicate.

Time is a beautiful gift in life. The time and experience we spend with someone shows its meaning. Time is the best thing we can share with someone. Time is the resource that we all have in equal measure. All of us get a full 24 hours every day.

Time is also a precious gift because we only have a set amount of it. We can make more money, but we can't make more time. When we give someone our time, we are actually sharing a slice of our life. And to be able to do is so is to be truly wealthy.

But we do not want to part with our precious resource. Instead, we choose to offer pointless presents and material gifts. The best of intentions are meaningless when the eventual action is the gift of trash or the burden of obligation. Let’s choose to gift our time to everyone in our circle of concern.

Material nor money makes a merry chime

The best present is when we gift our time!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Awaken

In Zen, a Buddha (Sanskrit: awakened) is one who has become fully enlightened. Nearly 30 years ago, I met a Marxist who was a student of philosophy. We had a common interest in Zen. Narayan Desai was three times my age when I met him but the gap never mattered. His exuberance towards learning was simply amazing.

As a writer, he wrote over 20 books in Marathi, Konkani, English, Gujarati and Hindi; Biography of Lenin, Swami Vivekanand in 21st century, Me - a socialist, Buddha – my companion, etc. He also compiled a Spanish-to-Marathi Dictionary. As Director of Thinkers' Academy, Mumbai, he devoted his entire life to research and writing.

Desai never gave up on learning and kept updating himself with global as well as local happenings. He de-emphasized theoretical knowledge in favour of direct individual experience of one's own true nature. He would say that ‘thinking and experiencing’ was the only to live. He refused to play dead, till he died on 5 August 2007.

It is easy to awaken the sleeping. But you cannot wake up a person who is pretending to be asleep. When we pretend to sleep, we choose to be selectively insensate to the incidents around. Our vision is adversely affected if our viewing lenses are cracked or coloured. We cannot hear right if we allow negative ‘noise’ to clutter our mind.

We must learn from Narayan Desai who did not play dead. He chose to open his mind to the diverse reality. He sought to learn and was ready to unlearn. He did not get stuck in the mire of prejudice. He chose to be awakened all through his life. And he chose to awaken others too!

16 December 2019 marks the start of the centenary year of Narayan Desai who lives through his awakened thoughts and reflective writings. The greatest connect with his inspirational ways would be for us to awaken. We must shed blinkers of single prejudice that prevents us from seeing the wide perspective of multiple stories.

Don’t play dead, don’t look away

Awaken to the reality every day!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3fBsnqUYpI&feature=channel

Reason

Mullah Nasrudin borrowed a brass pot from his friend. The next day, he returned it along with a smaller pot. ‘Your pot gave birth while I had it,’ said Nasrudin, ‘so I am giving you its child.’ The friend, happy to receive the bonus, did not question him.

A few days later, Nasrudin borrowed the pot again. After a week passed, the friend asked Nasrudin to return it. Nasrudin answered, ‘I can’t as your pot died.’ ‘How is that possible?’ the friend shouted, ‘a pot can't die!’

‘Well, you believed it gave birth,’ said Nasrudin, ‘so why can't you believe it died?’

So often, so many of us accept things only when they benefit us. Being self-absorbed is about being pre-occupied with only one’s thoughts, interests and paybacks. However we change our stance when the same thing is to our detriment.

We must align with reason. Reason is the power of mind to think, understand and form judgments logically. We must not allow our emotions to block up multiple perspectives. When we stick to self-absorbed approach, we give up on reason.

We jump to conclusions and believe it to be right. We refuse to look at other angles to the situation. We stick to our blinkers and our prejudices. However, if we are put into the position of the other or another side; we may realise that we ignored reason.

A basic template for reasoning is evenness. We cannot argue differently depending on how it suits or concerns only us and our single perception! Reason cannot change as per gender, location or affiliation. It must be based on a 360 degree perspective.

Good for goose, is good for gander too

Reason is about sticking to what’s true!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Teach him Now

He looks at her and what she wears

He looks as she shamelessly stares…

He looks at her wander in the night

He looks as she seems an assured sight…

He wants to teach her… real lessons

He wants to hold her… off her passion!

He wants to rein her before it is late

He wants to chain her inside the gate!

He hears her argue with her mother

He hears her treat advice as a bother…

He hears her ask her father for rights

He hears her speak, stand and fight…

He tells her that she is a lesser one

He tells her to stop acting like a son!

He tells her she is asking for trouble

He tells her to be just random rubble!

Now when she is brutalised, he is full of fury

Now he wants to play prosecution and jury

But the ones who abused and set her ablaze

Are just like him… movers in a bigoted maze!

He saw her as a lesser thing… so did they

He saw her as a pet… they saw her as prey!

He held dirty thought, they did the dirty act

Thoughts lead to actions… that’s a real fact!

So clear the dirt now that blurs the brain

Treat her like a human… not as a stain!

No lesson needs to be taught to any girl

It is the boys who need the washing swirl!

He needs to change his outlook of her

He needs to learn humane behaviour…

Abuse, brutalisation is the same chafe

Teach him now so that she can be safe!

Teach him now so that she can be safe!

 ~ Pravin K Sabnis

Race Not

Pedro regularly goes for a morning walk. One day, an older person overtook him while walking. Pedro’s ego was challenged. Although he was tired and dehydrated, he briskly walked… eventually he broke into a run till he overtook the elderly chap.

However, he realised two pertinent lessons. He missed the turn to his home and lost time getting back. Secondly and more importantly, the senior person was not in the race and unaware that Pedro was in competition with him.

So often, so many of us run a race with a person who is oblivious about the contest. We get into rivalry without reason. We want to buy a bigger car, a bigger seat, better curtains, better cutlery… when someone acquires something new.

Even in a sports race, the main focus is on reaching the destination fastest on the track. It is definitely not in overtaking a person moving on the side-lines. We must focus on our own purpose, path and performance.

   

We must stop the unnecessary race. In the quest to run a race where there is none, we end up getting worked up and stressed out. We end up going off-track onto a road to unhappiness. We must stop being unnecessarily competitive.

For happiness, heed the following thought

Run well to your destination but race not!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Careless

Pedro received a call that his close friend Pawan had met with a life threatening accident. Although distressed, Pedro quietly asked, ‘who told you the news?’ The caller said, ‘A friend told me…’ Pedro persisted, ‘And who informed your friend? And do let me who started the chain? Did he confirm? Did he rush there?’

The caller realised his mistake. He should have asked basic questions to confirm the veracity of the information. He told Pedro that he will find out and revert. In the meantime, Pedro called up Pawan who was livid, ‘What if my family were to hear this false information? How can friends do this?’

It eventually turned out to be a case of mistaken identity as well as a distortion of whatever was heard. The concern was being undone by the carelessness in passing on a message without confirming. It was sad that a series of worried friends were doing wrong by passing on a deadly rumour about a person they claimed to care for.

So often, so many of us forward news without checking it out. If we truly care we must confirm before forwarding. In case of unpleasant news, we must refrain from being careless. Even if it is true, we must not play a part in turning it viral. We must be bothered about the hurt and scare to the family.

It is pertinent to note that such careless forwards come from a habit... a habit of passing on information immediately as we receive it… without examining it for its truthfulness… without reflecting on the consequences of sharing it… we try to show that we care… but we end up confirming that we are careless!  

Those who frivolously forward may not truly care

Careless indeed are those who share such scare!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Be Prepared

Robert Baden-Powell explained the Scouts motto BE PREPARED as being in a state of readiness in mind and body. He urged scouts to be prepared in more ways than one. He insisted that they should acquire various skills: camping, cooking, first-aid, self-defence, mapping, messaging and many others. They ranged from survival training to safety protocols to utility techniques to be used for different challenges.

The motto seeks to pre-empt the need before it’s time. It is about equipping and empowering the mind and body through multiple abilities and capacities that would be required in various situations. Unlike the afterthought or reactive mechanism, this preparedness comes from proactive choices.

So often, so many of us are clueless about even simple life skills. We need to ask the questions: Can I survive in tough situations? Can I find my way when lost in the woods? Can I assist others in difficulties? Can I mend things that need mending? Can I cook? Can I sew? Can I be of help to self and others?

We must learn basic skills even if there seems no instant need. You may someone else cook for you yet you must know how to cook a simple meal. You may have assistants or technology to do certain tasks yet you must know how to do them yourselves. Be prepared is about being equipped before the need arises!  

Be prepared before time… to find key ways

Be of use to self and others on trying days!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Free of Chains

Last Saturday, I was invited to conduct a full day workshop on Cognitive Skills for the teachers of Sanjay Centre for Special Education. It was part of an extensive program over 11 days that included Sundays. It was commendable to note the willingness of the teachers to attend training during vacations. But some stood out even more so!

While one was mother to a month old baby, the other had a three month baby. Yet another was in the advanced months of pregnancy. These amazing women wore no chains. They displayed the freedom to make positive commitments as teachers wanting to learn. Cheryl Nogar’s one month baby was in her reach within the campus.

So often, so many of us complain about our chains. We glorify our burden as if we are unfortunate to bear it. We project our priorities as hurdles in our path. We complain about the fetters that come from our commitments. We cite our urgencies as an excuse to avoid other obligations.

We must learn from the attitude of Cheryl Nogar and her tribe… they are free of chains. They are not deterred by multiple commitments. They do a fine job of managing the work life balance. Most importantly, they do not complain and whine about their predicament.

We must stop treating commitments as chains. They are just roles that give us the opportunity to cope with challenges. In fact responsibilities are not really chains. They are more like the string that helps a kite to soar. We must treat challenges as an integral part of life… not as restrictive chains!

Ensure a mind free of chains

Live life full on to truly gain!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Be Happy

In Goa, youth prepare for the advent of Diwali by making effigies of Narkasur. The burning of the effigies heralds the celebration of the festival of lights. The preparation involves collecting of funds to cover the cost of the effigy, the setup, the music, the fireworks and the revelry. Many organised groups turn the occasion into a big event.

One group however decided to make it bigger on the happiness quotient. They went around collecting gifts of sweets, stationary and utility items. On Diwali eve, they went to an orphanage and spent the time illuminating the lives of the children there. Kabir Naik captured on film (https://youtu.be/RAmlgleWhrA) what he and his friends did.

Kabir calls it ‘Sweet Diwali: a story of self-realization’. Indeed it captures the way to realise that the best way to ‘be’ happy we must ‘make’ others happy. We know joy grows when it is shared. But it is pertinent to note that enduring happiness comes when we can make others happy.

Happiness is not really about material gifts. It is about the gift of time… a kind word, listening to others, playing together… sharing not just what we have but accepting what they have… Besides the joy that comes out of thoughtful giving, happiness returns as a gift with meaningful sharing…

Look around to notice the underserved. Not just in defined spaces like orphanages, old age homes or ghettos. We must notice them wherever they are and involve in ways to make them happy with gifts of love, concern and care. When we give happiness, it comes back to us!

When you give your joy away

Be happy, it will return to stay

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Two & Two

Through an intercom in a classroom, the headmaster announces that there will be ongoing changes in the school, and that the students are to follow to all instructions from their teacher. The teacher writes ‘2 + 2 = 5’ on the board. When the children protest, he immediately silences them, calling for order in the classroom.

The teacher continuously commands the students to repeat the equation after him. One timid student raises his hand and carefully suggests that two plus two is four, not five. The teacher calmly commands him, ‘don't think, you don't have to think!’ The teacher demands the class to copy the incorrect equation into their notebooks.

Another student stands up to insist that the answer is four. The teacher asks him, ‘who gave you permission to speak?’ The rebel holds his ground. The infuriated teacher brings in three senior students, bearing red armbands and an army-like stature.

The rebel remains determined, and is felled by the seemingly invisible rifles held by the three senior students. The rest of the class is silent, stone faces processing what they had just seen. The teacher orders the students to write down ‘2 + 2 = 5’ in their notebooks. One student is seen scratching out ‘5’ and replacing it with ‘4’.

This plot is from the 2011 short film – ‘Two & Two’ directed by Babak Anvari. Similar to George Orwell’s 1984, the film is an allegory for the absurdness of dictatorship and tyranny. However it also showcases the resilience of the human spirit of the two rebels who defy – one in an outspoken manner and the other quietly but surely.

Check out the film https://youtu.be/EHAuGA7gqFU

We must ask ourselves whether we easily accept blatant absurdity just because it comes from the mouths of the powerful. We must ask ourselves why we succumb to the obnoxious when we should be in defiance of it. We must choose to stand out when forced to line up in unacceptable uniformity based on obvious irrationality.  

Two & Two is about the brave two:

One vocal… the other resolute too

Which one is me? Which one is you?!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Watch Yourself

A pair of acrobats were preparing for an act that consisted of the senior man balancing a tall bamboo pole on his head while the little girl climbed slowly to the top. Once on the top, she would remain there while the man walked along the ground. Both performers had to maintain complete focus and balance in order to prevent injury.

The senior told the junior: 'Let’s watch each other, so that we can help each other maintain focus and balance and prevent accident.' But the little girl disagreed, 'Sir, I think it would be better for each of us to watch ourselves. By doing so, we can ensure that one does not fumble and compromise on the other’s safety.'

Taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do to take care of others. So often, so many of us focus on helping the other and ignore our self and crucial needs. While our intention may be good, when we lose sight of self, we lose control. When we lose control, we endanger the other.

When you fly on an airplane, the flight attendant instructs you to put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others.  If you run out of oxygen, you can't help anyone else with their oxygen mask. You must watch yourself before you watch others. Indeed it is about being mindful.

When you nourish your mind and body, you are in a better position to treat others with more compassion and create a positive impact on the world around you. There is no division in taking care of yourself (in a spiritual sense, not in a material context) and taking care of others. You must watch yourself first to fulfil the onus of the other.

Watch yourself first to truly focus

That’s the way to balance the onus!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Plogging

On the occasion of Gandhi Jayanti, Disability Rights Association of Goa (DRAG) organised an inclusive plogging run in the Fit India program of the Government. It was a joyful opportunity to be with the amazing inspiring personalities of DRAG.

We walked together, picking litter on the way and clearing up the access path for the disability at a major building that hosts many offices. Besides the satisfaction of doing a good deed collectively, we learnt a new word: plogging!

Plogging is a amalgamation of jogging with picking up litter. It started as an organised activity in Sweden around 2016 and spread to other countries. As a workout, it provides variation in body movements by adding bending, squatting a nd stretching to the main action of running, hiking, or walking.

The main purpose and result of plogging is to clean up the path travelled by. In trekking too, we carry a waste bag to carry the litter on the trek route. What a beautiful sentiment to leave the path in a better way than we found it. Most importantly it is about taking the responsibility for clearing the mess created by others.

So often, so many of us only find faults of others, valid ones at that. We correctly identify that others are responsible for the disorder. We must move beyond identifying the problem and the problem makers. We must remember what Gandhi said, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world!’ One such way is plogging!

Leave every path better than you found it

Plogging cleans the mess & keeps you fit!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Circle

A young boy saw an old man draw a perfect circle on the sand. ‘Hey, old man, how did you draw such a perfect circle?’ asked the young one. The old man said, ‘I don’t know, I just tried, and tried again…here, you try.’ The old man gave the stick to the boy and walked away.

The boy began drawing circles in the sand. At first his circles came out too wide, or too long, or too crooked. But as time went by the circles began to look better and better. He kept trying and then, one bright morning, he drew a perfect circle into the sand. Then he heard a small voice behind him. ‘Hey old man, how did you draw such a perfect circle?’

This Zen story sketches the circle as a shape and symbol of perfection. The literal circle in the sand represents the essence and benefits of practice, while the narrative represents the circular nature of life.

So often, so many of us view success or perfection as a destination at the end of a straight line. We see ourselves at the beginning of the road, or the bottom of a peak and we can picture our endpoint clearly, glittering far away in the distance.

Such an approach often turns goals into an intimidating proposition, causing to lose the focus needed to be better at a skill. However, if we look at life as a circular path, a line without beginning or end, then we can learn to shift or focus away from the destination at the end of the road and towards the gently curving slope of the present moment. This makes the journey (to be better) a little less imposing!

Not a straight line, circles help turn around

Keep up the efforts to be better every round!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Empathy

Two friends walking along a river bank, stopped for a moment to gaze at the water.

One man exclaimed, ‘Look at those fish, how they’re enjoying themselves!’

‘You aren’t a fish to know if they’re having a good time!’ questioned his friend.

‘You aren’t me either,’ replied the first one, ‘So how would you know that I don’t know the fish are having fun?’

We must know that others’ perceptions are as valid as ours. We must think about that before jumping to conclusions. While one is using feeling, the other is using logic. The first guy ends up turning logical on the rebound. Two types of empathy are seen here.

There are three types of empathy: cognitive, emotional and compassionate. Cognitive empathy employs thought, rather than feeling which is emotional empathy. Compassionate empathy makes for the right balance between logic and emotion.

We can feel another person’s pain, as if it was happening to us. At the same time, we can also remain in control of our own emotions, and apply reason to the situation. This will help us make better decisions and provide appropriate support when and where it is necessary.

Feel the empathy… and reason it out too

The right blend makes compassion true!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Some more

Pedro was known for his oratory and was invited as keynote speaker at many gatherings. After one more impact speech, an elderly lady admonished him, ‘you spoke less… you should have spoken for some more time!’ Pedro smiled and said, ‘thank you!’

The lady was surprised, ‘young man, did you hear what I am trying to convey? You should have spoken more!’ Pedro reiterated his gratefulness. The lady was irritated, ‘I just made a critical suggestion!’ Pedro’s smile remained intact, ‘you gave me the best compliment that an orator can receive… thank you!’

Pedro was right. When the audience craves for more, it means that the orator has not overdone his speech. To make an impact, profusion is not needed. The intent should be conveying one’s presentation without stealing the time of the audience.

Thomas Jefferson wrote in a letter, ‘Amplification is the vice of modern oratory. It is an insult to an assembly of reasonable men, disgusting and revolting instead of persuading. Speeches measured by the hour, die with the hour!’

We must have the courage to leave out the unnecessary, even if they are brilliant lines. The primary purpose is to express. In the quest to impress, we tend to be long winded. We aim for the praise, ‘you spoke well’ but the true compliment is when it is said, ‘you should have spoken some more!’

Don’t speak more, lest the audience feels sore

True applause is when they ask for some more!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

No Failure

Pedro and his son were watching the historical moment, when the Vikram Lander of the Chandrayaan-2 lost its communication. The young boy was disheartened. Pedro consoled his son, ‘It is not a failure. We have to be proud of the efforts of our scientists. Efforts are important. Results are secondary!’

The tears of his son continued to flow. Pedro held him close and asked him to stop crying. The son spoke up, ‘these are tears of joy. I was worried of your reaction to my forthcoming the results… not anymore… I have a father who believes in efforts, not results!’

Indeed, our country’s forays into science have truly spurred interest in science and technology. But more importantly they teach us the biggest lesson in science that there are no failures, only lessons to be learnt from the preparation, the efforts and the outcomes even if not fully favourable.

In fact, science will not regard any setback as an abject failure. It does not easily accept closure. Even now, the scientists at ISRO are watchful. The lander location has been found, The orbiter part of the mission, with eight scientific instruments, remains operational and will continue its seven-year mission to study the Moon

The same lessons are applicable for all efforts in life. We must appreciate efforts and not lose heart with failure. We must choose to learn from the lessons that come from every setback. Failure is only when we give up. We can walk the way again or take another path… but we must move ahead.

Remember always that there is no failure

Efforts and focus should have no closure!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

After you

On the occasion of Ganesh Chaturthi, my friend was furious. He was upset with posts on social media requesting a reduction or nil use of fireworks and other pollutants. He kept playing the broken record, ‘what about festivals of other religions? Why don’t these bloody environmentalists speak up then?’

‘You are right!’, an inebriated passer-by joined the discussion. ‘All those bloody doctors are telling me to quit alcohol… I told them to tell the others first. Let the whole world first stop drinking. Don’t tell me to do it first! Tell them first!’

My friend got angry, ‘you are not in your senses… you have had too much of drink!’ The intoxicated one replied, ‘so are you… you have too much of victimhood!’ Playing adjudicator, I announced, ‘both of you have consumed contaminant!’

In etiquette, the phrase ‘after you’ (‘pehle aap’ in Hindi) displays courtesy. It is an attitude to politely urge another person to do something first... at the door, at the buffet table, at circumstances when both are in queue for the same purpose.

However, when the situation is of individual initiative it is irrational to insist on ‘after you’. Positive transformations happen when individuals step ahead by seizing onus instead of weltering in victimhood. It is said that ‘if it has to be, it starts with me.’

Victim mentality is when we consider ourselves as victims of negative actions of others. This position is used an excuse to insist that the ‘other’ should first ‘do’ the desired action. Such approaches of ‘after you’ are plain excuses at the best and devious escapism at the worst. We must take onus for our actions.

Unless in queue, quit the insistence of ‘after you’

Major transformations start with initiatives of few!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Void

(a poem written on 29 July 2019)

Void

The empty chair

The missing stare

So full of care...

Void

The bare bed

Words unsaid

Heart full of lead…

Void

The still cane

A closed pane

Weeping rain…

Void

Absent look

Quietened nook

Unopened book…

Void

A closed sill

The numb feel

House gone still…

Void

Poignant space

Reminiscences trace

The bond of grace…

Void

Memory pond

Forever fond

Immortal bond…

~ Pravin K Sabnis