So often, the organisers of events, where I get invited to speak, invest a lot of time and money in buying a present that I refuse to accept. What would I do with over 100 pointless presents in a year? I do convey my sentiments to the organisers, well in advance, but it is a modern malady to involve in a regressive ritual of unnecessary gifts.
Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries and festivals are now occasion to hand over uncalled for gifts. Most of these languish in storage space. In fact, buying gifts obligate friends to do the same, even if they cannot afford it. Even the resort of recycling is redundant as it consumes energy and resources.
My father would insist that the best present is the gift of time. But we do not want to part with our precious resource and hence we choose to offer pointless presents. The best of intentions are meaningless when the eventual action is the gift of trash or the burden of obligation. It would be better to decide to not receive or give pointless presents.
Let us offer our time and attention instead. Spending time together empowers the quality of relationship. To satisfy the great need of attention is truly a sensible thing to do. And it creates a wonderful obligation in that person to return your love and attention...
To BE BETTER at bring to fruition sincere intention...
Instead of pointless presents, gift timely attention!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, January 30, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
TEST
A man believed that his wife was turning deaf. Before going for medical help, he decided to confirm his doubts through a simple test. When his wife was in the kitchen, he stood at the door, some 10 feet away, and called out, ‘Darling, what are you doing?’ He heard no answer.
He walked to an arms’ distance behind her and repeated his question. When he heard no reply, he was sure his wife was really deaf. Nevertheless, he stepped next to her, and repeated his query in her ear. His wife replied, ‘this is the third time, I am telling you that I am cooking. You should go to see a doctor for your hearing problem.’
It was the man who could not hear his wife’s answer, but he believed that it was his wife that could not hear his questions. So often we test the capabilities and competencies of others, but surely it would be better to test our own realities. If the problem lies within, the test would be incapable of reflecting reality.
So every time, we find fault with somebody, let’s ensure that our opinion is not a faulty perception based on erroneous observation handicapped by our own shortcomings. We must test our own inadequacies first, lest they negatively influence our assessment when we test others.
To BE BETTER at knowing what’s faulty...
Every confirming test must start with me!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
He walked to an arms’ distance behind her and repeated his question. When he heard no reply, he was sure his wife was really deaf. Nevertheless, he stepped next to her, and repeated his query in her ear. His wife replied, ‘this is the third time, I am telling you that I am cooking. You should go to see a doctor for your hearing problem.’
It was the man who could not hear his wife’s answer, but he believed that it was his wife that could not hear his questions. So often we test the capabilities and competencies of others, but surely it would be better to test our own realities. If the problem lies within, the test would be incapable of reflecting reality.
So every time, we find fault with somebody, let’s ensure that our opinion is not a faulty perception based on erroneous observation handicapped by our own shortcomings. We must test our own inadequacies first, lest they negatively influence our assessment when we test others.
To BE BETTER at knowing what’s faulty...
Every confirming test must start with me!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, January 16, 2012
TOO TIRED TO MOVE?
A pet dog’s late night howling woke up his owner and his wife. They tossed and turned for a while. The dog’s laments continued. The wife asked her husband to go out and see the reason for the dog’s distress. The man barely stirred saying, “I’m too tired to move”.
The howling continued for another hour, and again the wife begged the husband to go and see what was troubling the dog. Again he gave the same answer, “I’m too tired to move”.
Eventually the wife went out into the night and the howling stopped. When the wife returned, the man asked, “What was wrong with that stupid dog?” “He was lying on a thorn bush” said the woman “He was just too tired to move”.
So often so many of us are like the dog – people who would rather howl and complain rather than change their position? So often, so many of us are like the man – people who would rather suffer and wait for someone else to solve their problems instead of doing it themselves. The excuse masquerading as a reason is that we are too tired to move.
Lethargy is a matter of choice not a product of circumstance. Rather than be stuck in an apathetic attitude, we must choose to step out of inactiveness. Surely it would be better to claim ownership of every predicament that surrounds us and respond aptly and promptly.
Shun the defeating excuse of being too tired to move...
Let’s BE BETTER at promptly choosing the proactive groove!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, January 9, 2012
WALLS
The search is on for a “perfect” home by those who live in houses that seem “imperfect”. The quest is a better and bigger personal space and privacy. Nevertheless, in the new home too, there is a growing concern for privacy even if the number of people in the family has reduced. And the commonly preferred choice is to build walls!
The divisive wall between the two Germanys may have been brought down, but new ones rise in our homes. Balconies are enclosed with walls of brick or cages of metal grills. Windows are covered with walls of one-way glass or double layered curtains. Doors and windows are kept closed so often, making one wonder why they were put there at all. Fence walls are getting higher… gated communities are growing!
Communication gaps are widening between family members due to each one retiring to their own rooms. The same is true for relationships within neighbourhoods. This is not to rubbish privacy or security concerns. Gibran wrote, “May there be spaces in your togetherness.” We, of course, create only spaces, sans togetherness.
It would be better if we were to emulate the Japanese way of making homes. Of course they live in a seismic sensitive land that influences the design of walls which are essentially delicate frames that can slide and fold… where home is when all walls are put away! Relationships thrive only when the walls make way for an opening…
Put away the walls and open every window…
Let’s BE BETTER at making bonds truly grow!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Ooty, India.
The divisive wall between the two Germanys may have been brought down, but new ones rise in our homes. Balconies are enclosed with walls of brick or cages of metal grills. Windows are covered with walls of one-way glass or double layered curtains. Doors and windows are kept closed so often, making one wonder why they were put there at all. Fence walls are getting higher… gated communities are growing!
Communication gaps are widening between family members due to each one retiring to their own rooms. The same is true for relationships within neighbourhoods. This is not to rubbish privacy or security concerns. Gibran wrote, “May there be spaces in your togetherness.” We, of course, create only spaces, sans togetherness.
It would be better if we were to emulate the Japanese way of making homes. Of course they live in a seismic sensitive land that influences the design of walls which are essentially delicate frames that can slide and fold… where home is when all walls are put away! Relationships thrive only when the walls make way for an opening…
Put away the walls and open every window…
Let’s BE BETTER at making bonds truly grow!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Ooty, India.
Monday, January 2, 2012
DIG YOUR OWN WELL
New Year is a time for making new resolves. Whilst most resolutions are consigned to the dustbin, some survive due to the sheer sincerity of those who own them. And amidst the latter, lie certain resolutions that connect worthy dreams to committed action beyond the occasional occasion... my friend, Rodney was owner of one such worthy resolve...
When Rodney built his house, he decided to dig a well. His decision was in sync with his deep connect with a self sustainable approach towards resources, energy and ecology. But what was pertinent to note was that Rodney decided to dig his own well. For months, he would use spare time to dig out the hard rock behind his house. He is reached a considerable depth all by himself.
Most of us would love to have a well in our backyard. Some of us would invest in getting it dug up. However, very few would dig their own well. And most of these few would include farmers, tribals and others who work with their hands. The rest of us would have pushed ourselves on to the glorified platform of thought competencies with long wish-lists but a reluctance to put our efforts into action.
We need to ask ourselves what is it that we do to realise what are worthy wishes. Do we repair our own stuff? Do we clean up our own mess? Do we back our wishes with aligned actions? While wishing for something worthy is good, it would be better if we choose to ‘dig our own well’... like Rodney is doing!
Even if our resolve is worthy enough to tell
... it will BE BETTER if we dig our own well!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
When Rodney built his house, he decided to dig a well. His decision was in sync with his deep connect with a self sustainable approach towards resources, energy and ecology. But what was pertinent to note was that Rodney decided to dig his own well. For months, he would use spare time to dig out the hard rock behind his house. He is reached a considerable depth all by himself.
Most of us would love to have a well in our backyard. Some of us would invest in getting it dug up. However, very few would dig their own well. And most of these few would include farmers, tribals and others who work with their hands. The rest of us would have pushed ourselves on to the glorified platform of thought competencies with long wish-lists but a reluctance to put our efforts into action.
We need to ask ourselves what is it that we do to realise what are worthy wishes. Do we repair our own stuff? Do we clean up our own mess? Do we back our wishes with aligned actions? While wishing for something worthy is good, it would be better if we choose to ‘dig our own well’... like Rodney is doing!
Even if our resolve is worthy enough to tell
... it will BE BETTER if we dig our own well!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
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