Last Saturday recorded the demise of a dynamic socialist and freedom fighter, Shamrao Madkaikar, at the age of 101 years. While much can be written about his immense contribution to his various causes, this Monday Muse chooses to focus the primary reason for his longevity... nurturing by his son, daughter-in-law and family members.
Shamrao showed immense passion for life, but it was the round-the-clock care and attention that helped him live well. He was confined to a wheel chair in his final years. Yet he was surrounded by support that only true love can bring. His son, Narayan seemed to be repaying the debt of parenting by playing the father to his own father.
The Hindi film, Baghban had posed the pertinent query, “If a man helps you to walk your first steps in life, why can't you help him walk his last steps?” Though Narayan had no hesitation in parenting his parent, our society has too many elders without care-giving assistance. Not just physiological needs, emotional needs too are short-changed.
To be better at parenting parents, we must revisit the things we did while parenting our children... overt depiction of love, encouragement, patience, tolerance and unwavering support. Surely that is the least we can do to those who helped walk our first steps in life... by helping them walk their last steps with dignity, love and caring... like Narayan did with his father, Shamrao Madkaikar.
Now it our turn to BE BETTER at parenting
by helping walk the last steps of the aging!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, December 26, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
PURSUIT
It is quite a common site to see dogs chase vehicles that pass by. Once an amused observer asked a dog owner, "Do you think your dog is ever going to catch a car?" The owner coolly replied, "That is not what worries me. What bothers me is what he would do with the car if he ever caught one."
So often, so many of us behave like that dog who pursues a meaningless goal. And since success eludes us, we keep getting agitated and stressed out. Eventually pursuit itself becomes the main occupation while the thing being pursed remains consistently elusive.
For everything we set off to pursue in life, it would be better if we ask ourselves the fundamental questions of the relevance, the need and the worthiness of the goal that we chase. For every pursuit, we should be clear about what we would do when the pursuit ends in a result.
Pursuit of the meaningless is a habit that merits a avoid
Let’s BE BETTER at ensuring that goal is not a void!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
So often, so many of us behave like that dog who pursues a meaningless goal. And since success eludes us, we keep getting agitated and stressed out. Eventually pursuit itself becomes the main occupation while the thing being pursed remains consistently elusive.
For everything we set off to pursue in life, it would be better if we ask ourselves the fundamental questions of the relevance, the need and the worthiness of the goal that we chase. For every pursuit, we should be clear about what we would do when the pursuit ends in a result.
Pursuit of the meaningless is a habit that merits a avoid
Let’s BE BETTER at ensuring that goal is not a void!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, December 12, 2011
PURPOSE
“I am not really a cartoonist. I just draw!” – Mario Miranda
Mario Miranda died yesterday. Surely his impressive body of work as well as his inspiring life will continue to delight and motivate so many of us. It is pertinent to note that the above quote of Mario illustrates his clarity of vision of what he did and what he set out to do... to draw!
To draw had always been an irrepressible instinct for Mario. As a child, he would use charcoal bits from the fireplace or mud to draw on the walls of his house. His mother bought him a book and Mario’s picture diaries kept getting compiled. Eventually, he turned his passion into his profession. Nevertheless, he did not allow his original purpose to be doused at the altar of his profession.
Most doctors set out with a purpose to serve, most lawyers set off with a purpose to ensure justice, most teachers set off with a purpose to share learning, most journalists set off with a purpose to unravel the truth, so on and so forth. However, down the line our purpose is diluted by cynicism or complicity or lure. Like Mario, we need to be better at being true to our original purpose.
We need to ask ourselves whether we have forsaken the original purpose for whatever we set off to do. It is a primary responsibility to our inner self to be aligned with a path that is worthy and a cause for satisfaction and happiness. For we have seen that Mario lived a fuller life by not disconnecting from his original purpose... to draw!
to BE BETTER at staying true to original purpose...
Remind yourself why you set off on this course!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, December 5, 2011
BULL’S EYE
There is a story of the FBI being called into a small town to investigate what appeared to be the work of a skilled sharpshooter. All over town, many bull’s-eyes had bullets that had penetrated the exact centre of the targets. When the investigators finally found the man behind the shooting, they asked him how he had been able to shoot with such accuracy. His answer was simple: First he shot the bullet, and then he drew the bull’s-eye around where it had hit.
Often, the temptation is to rationalize our lives in such a way that no matter what we do, we flatter ourselves that it’s okay. Instead of living our lives with precision and clarity of focus, we chose a delusory approach to living. We choose to construct a self-laudatory Bull’s Eye around our aimless or wayward attempts.
When we position the target around our result, we deceive not only others... we deceive ourselves. Surely it would be better if goals are pre-determined and pre-declared. The Bull’s Eye must be identified before the actions, to hit target, are unleashed. Otherwise, we will be diverted from the attitude and approach to hit the real Bull’s Eye!
to BE BETTER at the Bull’s Eye game...
first set up target and then take aim!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Often, the temptation is to rationalize our lives in such a way that no matter what we do, we flatter ourselves that it’s okay. Instead of living our lives with precision and clarity of focus, we chose a delusory approach to living. We choose to construct a self-laudatory Bull’s Eye around our aimless or wayward attempts.
When we position the target around our result, we deceive not only others... we deceive ourselves. Surely it would be better if goals are pre-determined and pre-declared. The Bull’s Eye must be identified before the actions, to hit target, are unleashed. Otherwise, we will be diverted from the attitude and approach to hit the real Bull’s Eye!
to BE BETTER at the Bull’s Eye game...
first set up target and then take aim!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, November 28, 2011
HALF TRUTH
A sincere sailor got drunk, one night. This was the first time he had done so. The captain recorded it in the log, "The sailor was drunk tonight." The sailor knew this comment would affect his career, so he the captain to add that it only happened once in three years which was the complete truth. The captain refused and said, "What I have written in the log is the truth."
The next day it was the sailor's turn to fill in the log. He wrote, "The captain was sober tonight." The captain read the comment and asked the sailor to change or add to it explaining the complete truth because this implied that the captain was drunk every other night. The sailor told the captain that what he had written in the log was the truth.
Both statements were true but they conveyed misleading messages. Obviously they were half truths. So often we resort to half truths for a variety of reasons: carelessness, selfishness, to evade or pass on the blame. Never mind the reason, the result is the same: deceit.
We must be better at both, understanding as well as communicating the complete truth. We also need to examine the implications of our perceived truths. Surely if we can realise the result of what maybe a careless half truth, we will be more careful in our responses. For a half truth can be as dangerous as a lie.
Beware of the implications of half truthfulness...
Let’s BE BETTER at careful responsiveness!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
The next day it was the sailor's turn to fill in the log. He wrote, "The captain was sober tonight." The captain read the comment and asked the sailor to change or add to it explaining the complete truth because this implied that the captain was drunk every other night. The sailor told the captain that what he had written in the log was the truth.
Both statements were true but they conveyed misleading messages. Obviously they were half truths. So often we resort to half truths for a variety of reasons: carelessness, selfishness, to evade or pass on the blame. Never mind the reason, the result is the same: deceit.
We must be better at both, understanding as well as communicating the complete truth. We also need to examine the implications of our perceived truths. Surely if we can realise the result of what maybe a careless half truth, we will be more careful in our responses. For a half truth can be as dangerous as a lie.
Beware of the implications of half truthfulness...
Let’s BE BETTER at careful responsiveness!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, November 21, 2011
FORESIGHT
On the same day, Pedro and Ladro joined a wholesale enterprise. Both worked very sincerely. In due course, the boss appointed Ladro as sales manager but Pedro remained a sales rep. A disheartened Pedro queried with his boss about the injustice meted out to him.
The boss assigned Pedro to find out if any melons were being sold in the market. He returned with an affirmative... when asked the rate Pedro went back to get the information. Next, Ladro was given the same assignment... he returned with a host of details: the number of melons on sale, the rate, discounts offered on big purchases, inventory and quality details, etc. Pedro decided not to resign but to learn from Ladro.
It is pertinent to note that successful persons are more observant, think more and understand in depth. Every moment, they see beyond to foresee the larger picture. Every day they look beyond the day to foresee the year. And since the difference between a year and a day is 365 times, their foresight becomes a crucial ingredient in their success.
Too often we shrink the possibility of foresight to just notice only the immediate. We need to ask ourselves, how far have we seen ahead in our life? How thoughtful in depth are we? After all, those who see beyond the limiting frame are also able to stretch the success probability because they choose to be better at foresight.
See beyond, think deep and do what’s right...
let’s BE BETTER at stretching our foresight!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
The boss assigned Pedro to find out if any melons were being sold in the market. He returned with an affirmative... when asked the rate Pedro went back to get the information. Next, Ladro was given the same assignment... he returned with a host of details: the number of melons on sale, the rate, discounts offered on big purchases, inventory and quality details, etc. Pedro decided not to resign but to learn from Ladro.
It is pertinent to note that successful persons are more observant, think more and understand in depth. Every moment, they see beyond to foresee the larger picture. Every day they look beyond the day to foresee the year. And since the difference between a year and a day is 365 times, their foresight becomes a crucial ingredient in their success.
Too often we shrink the possibility of foresight to just notice only the immediate. We need to ask ourselves, how far have we seen ahead in our life? How thoughtful in depth are we? After all, those who see beyond the limiting frame are also able to stretch the success probability because they choose to be better at foresight.
See beyond, think deep and do what’s right...
let’s BE BETTER at stretching our foresight!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, November 14, 2011
WASTE NOT
A recent Hindi film showcased the modern Spanish festival in which revellers throw tomatoes at each other just for fun. It is pertinent to note that the origins of the festival can be traced to a brawl in 1945 in Bunol, where tomatoes got used as weapons. In the initial years, the authorities would round up the revellers but later they got around to organising the festival!
Inspired attempts to recreate the fest in Goa were squashed by indignant citizens who decried the criminal waste of food in a world where hunger is rampant due to food scarcity. It was heartening to note condemnation from all quarters to the event. But the larger question remains whether such public posturing will result in a conscious attempt to ensure that food does not get wasted.
So often, at parties, in hotels, in homes… food finds its way to the garbage bin. Such callous attitudes reflect a deep insensitivity to those who go hungry. A lot of modern traditions flaunt the unkind revelry of excessive waste of food. While it is good to see the opposition to the heartless event, it would be better to inculcate practices that are sensitive to the larger world that we belong to.
The planet earth is our common home. The resources – food, water, energy, fuels, ecology, etc – belong to collective ownership. When some of us abuse our privileges to waste resources; it results in the denial of the resources to the less privileged brethren. We have to move beyond condemnation of public fests that involve wastage… we must inculcate personal habits that align with that outrage.
A rising voice against waste is the right thing to do...
But let’s BE BETTER at aligning personal practices, too!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Inspired attempts to recreate the fest in Goa were squashed by indignant citizens who decried the criminal waste of food in a world where hunger is rampant due to food scarcity. It was heartening to note condemnation from all quarters to the event. But the larger question remains whether such public posturing will result in a conscious attempt to ensure that food does not get wasted.
So often, at parties, in hotels, in homes… food finds its way to the garbage bin. Such callous attitudes reflect a deep insensitivity to those who go hungry. A lot of modern traditions flaunt the unkind revelry of excessive waste of food. While it is good to see the opposition to the heartless event, it would be better to inculcate practices that are sensitive to the larger world that we belong to.
The planet earth is our common home. The resources – food, water, energy, fuels, ecology, etc – belong to collective ownership. When some of us abuse our privileges to waste resources; it results in the denial of the resources to the less privileged brethren. We have to move beyond condemnation of public fests that involve wastage… we must inculcate personal habits that align with that outrage.
A rising voice against waste is the right thing to do...
But let’s BE BETTER at aligning personal practices, too!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, November 7, 2011
HOPE ROPE
Trained elephants are often held, in their enclosure, by only a small rope tied to their leg. No chains, no cages. Obviously the elephant can, at anytime, break away from the bond but it does not. Actually, when they are young and much smaller, the trainer uses the same size rope to tie the elephants. At that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.
The animals can at any time break free from their bonds but because they believe they can’t, they remain stuck right where they were. Like the elephants, we too get held back by overpowering bonds of initial conditioning. We go through life hanging onto a negative belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before...
Initial failure often tends to weigh heavy on our belief systems and prevents us from recognising our own potential. But we need to be better at not allowing failure to blur our attitude towards our own aptitude. After all, failure is a part of learning and growth; it cannot become flimsy reason to be held back in life... the conditioning rope has to be undone by holding on to hope inspired committed attempts to transform the situation!
Do not allow failure to hold back liberating hope...
Let’s BE BETTER at escaping the conditioning rope!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, October 31, 2011
LOCKUP
A vain locksmith would often boast that he could escape from any lockup in less than an hour. Some of his friends built a new lockup and challenged him to break free. In the presence of a large crowd present, the locksmith marched into the cell, and the door was closed. He immediately went to work. Hidden in his belt was a flexible, yet tough and durable ten-inch piece of steel, which he used to work on the lock.
After an hour of elusive result, his buoyancy began to desert him. His reputation was at stake and he was soaked in sweat. Every passing minute seemed an eternity. At the end of two hours, he literally collapsed against the door... and it opened! Actually, the door had never been locked, except in his own mind...
The door had never been locked except in the locksmith’s own mind, which meant that the door was as firmly secured as if a thousand locksmiths had put their best locks on it. Indeed it is easy to unlock any physical locks, but not the lock that lies in the mind. The locks, in our own mind, prevent us from getting out of our “lockup”.
Most of us are confined in a “belief lockup”. In order to break out, we need to first recognise the fetters in our mind. Next we need to seize ownership of situation and choose the path for true liberation of our mind. And it is pertinent to remember that to be better at overcoming the mind lockup; we must give a little push to the mental restrictions rather than exert excessive pulls that keep us confined in the lockup zone.
Let’s BE BETTER at escaping the lockup in the mind
The little progressive push is all it takes, you will find...
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, October 24, 2011
SPARK
Sixty years ago, buses in Montgomery were divided into two sections... the front was reserved for the white people and the rear was kept aside for the black people. The sections were determined by the placement of a movable sign. If the ‘white’ section got filled up, it was extended by asking black persons to stand up and move to the rear. If there was no room, they had to get off the bus.
On 1 December 1955, Rosa Parks who was sitting in the front row of the ‘black’ section of the bus was ordered out of her seat as the ‘white’ section had filled up. Rosa refused and as a consequence she was arrested. Parks’ action to reclaim her dignity was not the first... there were others, too. But her civil disobedience became the spark that precipitated the historic movement led by Martin Luther King.
Rosa wrote in her autobiography that ‘I didn't give up my seat because I was tired… I was not tired physically, or no more tired than I usually was at the end of a working day. I was not old… just forty-two. No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in… The more we gave in, the more we complied with that kind of treatment, the more oppressive it became’
So often, we give in to unfair situations because we give up on our own personal dignity. But when we stand up for real values, we will be better at aligning with humanism and common good. We can choose to transform into the significant spark that can overcome the worst of possibilities that may loom large.
Like Parks, let’s BE BETTER at asserting dignity
Little sparks can transform imbalanced reality!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
On 1 December 1955, Rosa Parks who was sitting in the front row of the ‘black’ section of the bus was ordered out of her seat as the ‘white’ section had filled up. Rosa refused and as a consequence she was arrested. Parks’ action to reclaim her dignity was not the first... there were others, too. But her civil disobedience became the spark that precipitated the historic movement led by Martin Luther King.
Rosa wrote in her autobiography that ‘I didn't give up my seat because I was tired… I was not tired physically, or no more tired than I usually was at the end of a working day. I was not old… just forty-two. No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in… The more we gave in, the more we complied with that kind of treatment, the more oppressive it became’
So often, we give in to unfair situations because we give up on our own personal dignity. But when we stand up for real values, we will be better at aligning with humanism and common good. We can choose to transform into the significant spark that can overcome the worst of possibilities that may loom large.
Like Parks, let’s BE BETTER at asserting dignity
Little sparks can transform imbalanced reality!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, October 17, 2011
PAPER BOAT
Last week Jagjit Singh, who harmonised so many mesmerising gazals and other songs, passed away. One of his songs from a forgettable Hindi film has seized our consciousness to become unforgettable. The lyrics of ‘Kagaz ki kashti (paper boat) refer to the lament of a person who has earned wealth but lost connect with his child-like innocence.
A first verse is a plea to ‘take away my riches, my fame, even my youth... but in return give me the monsoon from my childhood, the paper boat and the drops of rain...” Childhood is when the simplest of things are triggers for great happiness. It is time to be happy with things around rather than the futile pursuit of happiness as a commodity.
Everyone craves for the simple pleasures of childhood. Yet so often, we choose to run the dash for complex materialism. As children, we could play with an empty box or a stone or a paper boat... But as adults we tire easily of everything and we chose to be perpetually dissatisfied with what we have and hope to be better at gathering further acquisitions.
The choice is simple. Stop lamenting and choose childhood attitudes... we need to be better at reclaiming our childlike innocence and fascination for life’s simple pleasures... these are found in contentment and connect with relationships and Mother nature... and this is best done by the playful attitude where we create and ride little paper boats in natural streams caused by the falling rain...
Make the paper boat, make time to share and play
Let’s BE BETTER at reclaiming the childhood way!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
A first verse is a plea to ‘take away my riches, my fame, even my youth... but in return give me the monsoon from my childhood, the paper boat and the drops of rain...” Childhood is when the simplest of things are triggers for great happiness. It is time to be happy with things around rather than the futile pursuit of happiness as a commodity.
Everyone craves for the simple pleasures of childhood. Yet so often, we choose to run the dash for complex materialism. As children, we could play with an empty box or a stone or a paper boat... But as adults we tire easily of everything and we chose to be perpetually dissatisfied with what we have and hope to be better at gathering further acquisitions.
The choice is simple. Stop lamenting and choose childhood attitudes... we need to be better at reclaiming our childlike innocence and fascination for life’s simple pleasures... these are found in contentment and connect with relationships and Mother nature... and this is best done by the playful attitude where we create and ride little paper boats in natural streams caused by the falling rain...
Make the paper boat, make time to share and play
Let’s BE BETTER at reclaiming the childhood way!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, October 10, 2011
REBOOT
In 1976, Steve Jobs formed Apple and built the world’s first commercially successful personal computer. In 1985, Jobs was fired from Apple by the CEO and the board. Imagine being fired from the company you started and by the very people you helped recruit.
Early in his career, Jobs was described as someone who ruled “by force of personality, making numerous economies with his ridiculing the ideas of others, his unwillingness to hear views contrary to his own and his outbursts of bad temper”. The lack of humility finally did Jobs in.
Jobs really didn’t know what to do for a few months. He felt that he had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down. He met with David Packard and tried to apologise. He started a computer company aptly named NeXT and bought a struggling animation studio named Pixar.
In 1997, Jobs was back at Apple as “interim” CEO. His first move was to drop the very operating system developed by him at NeXT and that Apple had purchased from him two years earlier. That move wasn’t the Jobs of old. He had mellowed and seemed more open to ideas. Jobs himself was sure none of this [NeXT, Pixar, the iPod, the iTunes, the iPad] would have happened if he hadn’t been fired from Apple.
Every big setback provides us to reboot ourselves. We must be better at using the opportunity to overcome every weakness that was reason for the setback. We must follow the route chosen by the inspirational Steve Jobs who showed that ultimate nirvana needs us to reboot our attitude.
Every setback provides the opportunity to reboot...
Let’s BE BETTER at emulating Steve Jobs’ route!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Early in his career, Jobs was described as someone who ruled “by force of personality, making numerous economies with his ridiculing the ideas of others, his unwillingness to hear views contrary to his own and his outbursts of bad temper”. The lack of humility finally did Jobs in.
Jobs really didn’t know what to do for a few months. He felt that he had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down. He met with David Packard and tried to apologise. He started a computer company aptly named NeXT and bought a struggling animation studio named Pixar.
In 1997, Jobs was back at Apple as “interim” CEO. His first move was to drop the very operating system developed by him at NeXT and that Apple had purchased from him two years earlier. That move wasn’t the Jobs of old. He had mellowed and seemed more open to ideas. Jobs himself was sure none of this [NeXT, Pixar, the iPod, the iTunes, the iPad] would have happened if he hadn’t been fired from Apple.
Every big setback provides us to reboot ourselves. We must be better at using the opportunity to overcome every weakness that was reason for the setback. We must follow the route chosen by the inspirational Steve Jobs who showed that ultimate nirvana needs us to reboot our attitude.
Every setback provides the opportunity to reboot...
Let’s BE BETTER at emulating Steve Jobs’ route!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, October 3, 2011
LOSING GOLD
My friend, Avinash Tavares shared a tragic scene seen on a televised Talent show. A couple of kids had won the second place but there was no trace of a smile on their faces. Their parents were weeping bitterly. Avinash raised pertinent queries: Whither sense of achievement? Whither sense of gratitude towards all those who helped the kids rise to such a performance?
In an increasingly competitive world, in the quest to be better, too many of us are insisting on nothing but the best. When we frown upon even second best positions, imagine our disdain for those that come last! All this is in sync with the media catchphrase about those who win second position: ‘You don’t win silver, you lose gold’
A real sense of achievement has to flow from the satisfaction of sincere endeavours and not from the vagaries of results. The very act of taking on a challenge has to be, by itself, a cause for celebration. An attitude of gratitude is the only fair return to all those who help in different ways from guiding, training, facilitating... including those who are audience.
More important than winning is to have a winner’s attitude that comes from celebrating efforts and sportsmanship. The score should not be allowed to douse passion. Eventually, it is never about winning or losing gold... we need to be better at ensuring that every failure turns into a stepping stone to success. After all, it is only true sportsmanship and earnest efforts that wins hearts of others... and ours too!
Losing gold does not deserve despair and misery...
Let’s BE BETTER at celebrating golden efforts truly!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, September 26, 2011
EYE OF THE TIGER
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive...
– from the song ‘Eye of the Tiger’ (film Rocky III)
Having played cricket at the club level, my father had a fondness for narrating accounts of exploits of various players. One such story was about Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi. Though Tiger, as he was popularly known, passed away last week, his legend lives on... not just, for what he achieved, but also for the manner in which he did it.
At the age of 20, just six months before he got selected to play for his country, a car accident left him with a severely impaired right eye. However, there was no stopping him as a batsman who relished scoring at a brisk pace and hooking the fast pacers and stepping out against the spinners. Tiger lost his eye but did not lose sight of his ambition.
After losing his eye, even pouring water into a glass was a challenging task and one can well imagine the complexity in judging the motion of the cricket ball. And as India’s youngest captain to date, he had to not only justify his own place in the side, but also win over the respect of his team mates. His statistics may not appear dazzling, either personally or as captain, but they mean little when taken into context.
Pataudi changed the face of Indian cricket with his mindset. My father believed that the can-do belief that future teams displayed has its roots in Tiger’s fighting instinct ... To be better at surviving the worst of subversions in our life, we must not allow dreams to die... rather look ahead like Tiger did with a single eye!
Tiger has shown that if we happen to lose a crucial eye
Let’s BE BETTER at ensuring that dreams do not die!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
You must fight just to keep them alive...
– from the song ‘Eye of the Tiger’ (film Rocky III)
Having played cricket at the club level, my father had a fondness for narrating accounts of exploits of various players. One such story was about Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi. Though Tiger, as he was popularly known, passed away last week, his legend lives on... not just, for what he achieved, but also for the manner in which he did it.
At the age of 20, just six months before he got selected to play for his country, a car accident left him with a severely impaired right eye. However, there was no stopping him as a batsman who relished scoring at a brisk pace and hooking the fast pacers and stepping out against the spinners. Tiger lost his eye but did not lose sight of his ambition.
After losing his eye, even pouring water into a glass was a challenging task and one can well imagine the complexity in judging the motion of the cricket ball. And as India’s youngest captain to date, he had to not only justify his own place in the side, but also win over the respect of his team mates. His statistics may not appear dazzling, either personally or as captain, but they mean little when taken into context.
Pataudi changed the face of Indian cricket with his mindset. My father believed that the can-do belief that future teams displayed has its roots in Tiger’s fighting instinct ... To be better at surviving the worst of subversions in our life, we must not allow dreams to die... rather look ahead like Tiger did with a single eye!
Tiger has shown that if we happen to lose a crucial eye
Let’s BE BETTER at ensuring that dreams do not die!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, September 19, 2011
NOT LATER!
There was a man who toiled day and night to make things better for his family. Even evenings were spent attending classes to equip him for promotion in his main career. Whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he would point out that he was doing all this for them. After all, he too, craved for time with family.
His hard work paid off and he kept getting promoted to better salaries and greater responsibilities. The situation turned better for the family, but he was still constrained for time to spend with them. Eventually, one fine night, he declared his decision to give up work to spend time with his family. He died in his sleep that night!
The best of intentions cannot be procrastinated upon to a point where they become irrelevant or inconsequential. So often, in the quest to enhance existence, we give up on the things that constitute living. We have to be better at adding the value of timeliness to all our important priorities… especially the important ones.
Houses require money, material and maintenance, but homes thrive on relationships, which grow only with a sense of belonging between family members, which is aided by sharing of smiles and sorrows, of hopes and worries, of dreams and teams… not just as an occasional emotion kept for later, but as a regular recurring action… again and again!
Don’t put off priorities for later, things may not be the same
Let’s BE BETTER at regular timeliness… again and again!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
His hard work paid off and he kept getting promoted to better salaries and greater responsibilities. The situation turned better for the family, but he was still constrained for time to spend with them. Eventually, one fine night, he declared his decision to give up work to spend time with his family. He died in his sleep that night!
The best of intentions cannot be procrastinated upon to a point where they become irrelevant or inconsequential. So often, in the quest to enhance existence, we give up on the things that constitute living. We have to be better at adding the value of timeliness to all our important priorities… especially the important ones.
Houses require money, material and maintenance, but homes thrive on relationships, which grow only with a sense of belonging between family members, which is aided by sharing of smiles and sorrows, of hopes and worries, of dreams and teams… not just as an occasional emotion kept for later, but as a regular recurring action… again and again!
Don’t put off priorities for later, things may not be the same
Let’s BE BETTER at regular timeliness… again and again!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, September 12, 2011
DO IT!
Amateurs worry about equipment,
Professionals worry about money,
Masters worry about light,
I just make pictures!
– Vernon Trent
Visual artist, Trent’s famous quote captures the choice of attitudes for not only photographers but all other professions and activities. He articulates the dilemma of the amateur as well as the master and the professional. So often, in the quest for excellence, we are paralysed by inaction.
The crippling motives could range from concerns of the availability and quality of resources (worry about equipment), to the desired benefits (worry about money) to the vagaries of situational hurdles and problems. However, proactive persons ‘do it’, regardless of the resources, benefits or situation.
When we ‘do it’, we reach the crucial threshold point between planning and doing. Thus we make the tipping transformation from talking to walking that talk! However, this does not mean totally ignoring factors of material, money, etc. It is more about choosing action over inaction... We take flight when we look beyond fetters. To be better at real living, we must quit worrying and choose to ‘do it’!
Don’t halt at every crossroad of inconsistent worry
Let’s BE BETTER at ‘doing it’ rather than be sorry!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Professionals worry about money,
Masters worry about light,
I just make pictures!
– Vernon Trent
Visual artist, Trent’s famous quote captures the choice of attitudes for not only photographers but all other professions and activities. He articulates the dilemma of the amateur as well as the master and the professional. So often, in the quest for excellence, we are paralysed by inaction.
The crippling motives could range from concerns of the availability and quality of resources (worry about equipment), to the desired benefits (worry about money) to the vagaries of situational hurdles and problems. However, proactive persons ‘do it’, regardless of the resources, benefits or situation.
When we ‘do it’, we reach the crucial threshold point between planning and doing. Thus we make the tipping transformation from talking to walking that talk! However, this does not mean totally ignoring factors of material, money, etc. It is more about choosing action over inaction... We take flight when we look beyond fetters. To be better at real living, we must quit worrying and choose to ‘do it’!
Don’t halt at every crossroad of inconsistent worry
Let’s BE BETTER at ‘doing it’ rather than be sorry!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, September 5, 2011
4 M's
From the formative years to adolescence and adulthood, a teacher inspires, motivates and guides the student on the journey of discovery, learning and knowledge. The teacher can make or mar the learning attitudes of students. Good teachers move beyond job description to a lofty task of facilitating positive transformations among young minds.
Teachers are expected to play multiple roles that could be described as 4Ms... as a mentor, motivator, (role) model as well as monitor. And since, everyone is in a teacher’s role in some situation or the other; we need to be better at empowering our attitudes and approaches with the 4 M’s template.
Does our teaching employ a mentoring approach instead of an only-instruction-transferring methodology? Do we choose to inspire with motivation? Do we practise what we preach and ensure that we are consistent as role models? Do we monitor the progress of the learner so that we can be better equipped to facilitate future learning needs?
In the answers to the above questions, we shall discover the best practices to adopt as a teacher. Surely, if we look back at the teachers who made a maximum impact on our attitude, knowledge and skills, we well notice that they were sensitive mentors, enthused motivators, responsible role models and diligent monitors.
Mentor, model, motivator and monitor, they say
Four M’s to BE BETTER as a teacher every way!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Teachers are expected to play multiple roles that could be described as 4Ms... as a mentor, motivator, (role) model as well as monitor. And since, everyone is in a teacher’s role in some situation or the other; we need to be better at empowering our attitudes and approaches with the 4 M’s template.
Does our teaching employ a mentoring approach instead of an only-instruction-transferring methodology? Do we choose to inspire with motivation? Do we practise what we preach and ensure that we are consistent as role models? Do we monitor the progress of the learner so that we can be better equipped to facilitate future learning needs?
In the answers to the above questions, we shall discover the best practices to adopt as a teacher. Surely, if we look back at the teachers who made a maximum impact on our attitude, knowledge and skills, we well notice that they were sensitive mentors, enthused motivators, responsible role models and diligent monitors.
Mentor, model, motivator and monitor, they say
Four M’s to BE BETTER as a teacher every way!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, August 29, 2011
GRABBING MONKEYS
An interesting method is employed to arrest marauding monkeys who invade homes. A box with nuts is used to lure the monkeys. However the opening at the top is just big enough for the monkey’s hand to slide in. The lured monkey grabs the nuts and forms a fist which cannot pass through the small opening. The monkey has a choice to let go of the nuts and escape. However it continues to hang on to the nuts.
The monkey gets captured because of its greediness. So often, we behave like the monkey. We grab beyond our need. We grab without bothering of the implications of choices fuelled by greed. The lure of grabbing blinds us from the consequences of such actions. We hang on to what we grab, even if it results in our freedom being compromised.
We also hold on to old things and ideas that can no longer help us to succeed. We fear the vagaries that the future may bring and so we refuse to change. We are comfortable with where we are and what we have, so we prefer to be held hostage there.
To be better at being unfettered in life we have to hold on to the choice of letting go of the unnecessary greed. Even genuine needs should be filtered across the sieve of imagining implications. Real success does not come by grabbing possessions... it is realised by securing liberation from unreasonable greed that blinds and eventually binds us in a bind!
To be truly free, do not grab more
Learn to BE BETTER at letting go!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
The monkey gets captured because of its greediness. So often, we behave like the monkey. We grab beyond our need. We grab without bothering of the implications of choices fuelled by greed. The lure of grabbing blinds us from the consequences of such actions. We hang on to what we grab, even if it results in our freedom being compromised.
We also hold on to old things and ideas that can no longer help us to succeed. We fear the vagaries that the future may bring and so we refuse to change. We are comfortable with where we are and what we have, so we prefer to be held hostage there.
To be better at being unfettered in life we have to hold on to the choice of letting go of the unnecessary greed. Even genuine needs should be filtered across the sieve of imagining implications. Real success does not come by grabbing possessions... it is realised by securing liberation from unreasonable greed that blinds and eventually binds us in a bind!
To be truly free, do not grab more
Learn to BE BETTER at letting go!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, August 22, 2011
COMFORT ZONE
In an experiment conducted on a frog, interesting observations surfaced. When dropped into a container of hot water, it immediately jumped out. Next it was placed in a container of cold water which was being slowly heated. The bullfrog was able to adapt to the slow change in temperature and eventually got so comfortable that it stayed in the container and was “cooked”.
Surely, so often, so many of us are in the comfort zone. Our various needs and necessities are fulfilled. Like the frog, because we feel warm and comfortable, we refuse to get out of our comfort zone, and prefer to stay where we are. We fail to notice gradual changes in situation. But change is mostly invisible to those who retire to the comfort cocoon.
It is pertinent to note that in life we are either creating or disintegrating. There are no situations that exist as stationary. There will always be some movement of change. So if we are not moving ahead in life, we must by nature, be moving in the opposite direction. In fact as Pedro says, ‘The comfort zone is one of defeat or death.’
Hence we need to respond to the situation, by first recognising the subtle changes in it. And for that we have to be better at focussing on the little signs of change that are part of a greater transformation in a situation. It is about focussing on larger dreams, rather than smaller destinations; apt and prompt responsiveness, not careless complacency that surrounds us in every comfort zone.
Change is opaque to residents of the comfort zone
Response will BE BETTER if aided by a focus cone!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, August 15, 2011
INTERDEPENDENCE
Indeed independence is a very crucial developmental stage that steps ahead out of the clutches or crutches of dependence. However while growing up; independence is not the purpose of maturity. We need to connect our healthy independent individuality to relationships and networks to create a sustainable interdependence.
Mother Nature is a great inspiration as a model of interdependence. Flowers offer nectar to the bees who return the favour by pollinating the flowers. The very oxygen that keeps us alive is a gift from our plants in exchange for the carbon dioxide we gift them. The entire eco-system is a magnificent web of interdependence.
Interdependence is social, too. Natural resources, technology as well as thinking bring us to each other’s doorsteps. The entire world is just a single global village with a growing interdependence on various factors that includes viable opportunities as well as disastrous threats. And hence it becomes imperative to connect to the path and tools that can help create a more just, wise and sustainable planet.
Anything that fires or facilitates our co-creativity and our collective well-being is an empowering form of interdependence. We need to be better at learning from each other, weaving our lives in an interdependent tapestry… through open dialogues in our relationships, in our teams, in our communities… through a responsive and responsible attitude and approach… where the lighthouse is one of ‘common good’!
While independence liberates our individuality...
Interdependence leads to BE BETTER collectively!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, August 8, 2011
NEXT MOVE
It is always your next move – Napoleon Hill
Dynamic persons are always on the move. However, it is not enough to just step ahead; we need to see the steps that lie ahead. Visualising the future moves can be a very effective thing to do. We must always frame our present move by what we plan on doing next.
Like in the game of chess or checkers, each move has many implications. Depending on the possible consequences we need to equip ourselves with choices to make in every situation. But like Hill says, it is most important to make that next move. Otherwise we will lag at the crossroads of indecision or at the cul-de-sac of further progress.
For instance, if we make the move of creating a blog or a website, it is important to make the series of next moves to update and maintain our effort. So often on social networking platforms we see persons who want to connect but have failed to upload even basic details. The move to join a network will be in vain without requisite next moves.
It is pertinent to note that in communication or networking, branding or marketing, leadership or managing, human relations or public relation; we need to better at the next move. Just initiative is never enough. It needs the backing of appropriate ‘next’ moves that are part of a time-bound plan designed on the framework of consistency and commitment.
Do not rest too long before the next move
Let’s BE BETTER in the consistency groove!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Dynamic persons are always on the move. However, it is not enough to just step ahead; we need to see the steps that lie ahead. Visualising the future moves can be a very effective thing to do. We must always frame our present move by what we plan on doing next.
Like in the game of chess or checkers, each move has many implications. Depending on the possible consequences we need to equip ourselves with choices to make in every situation. But like Hill says, it is most important to make that next move. Otherwise we will lag at the crossroads of indecision or at the cul-de-sac of further progress.
For instance, if we make the move of creating a blog or a website, it is important to make the series of next moves to update and maintain our effort. So often on social networking platforms we see persons who want to connect but have failed to upload even basic details. The move to join a network will be in vain without requisite next moves.
It is pertinent to note that in communication or networking, branding or marketing, leadership or managing, human relations or public relation; we need to better at the next move. Just initiative is never enough. It needs the backing of appropriate ‘next’ moves that are part of a time-bound plan designed on the framework of consistency and commitment.
Do not rest too long before the next move
Let’s BE BETTER in the consistency groove!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, August 1, 2011
CHINESE BAMBOO
The Chinese Bamboo Tree has a very peculiar story. A few days after planting its seed in the ground, you'll see nothing. For years you'll see nothing, except a tiny shoot sprouting from a bulb. Never mind your earnest efforts, it just refuses to grow. The best of nurturing seems to be in vain. But in the fifth year, it will grow 80 feet tall!
Now imagine a scenario where the person who plants the seed calls it quits before the fifth year. It is natural for frustration to creep in when no transformation is evident for four years. The agony is in direct proportion to the intensity of effort. But surely, it would be tragic to miss out on the deserving glory of the 80 feet shoot.
So often we quit just when positive results to our proactive efforts are just round the corner. It is not enough to take initiative and follow up with sincere actions. To be better at getting a deserving consequence we must inculcate the attitude of patience and perseverance. The outcome may be delayed but it is worth the wait when the end-result more than makes up for the delay.
Let’s BE BETTER at patience in every waiting game
The script of bamboo & success remains the same!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Now imagine a scenario where the person who plants the seed calls it quits before the fifth year. It is natural for frustration to creep in when no transformation is evident for four years. The agony is in direct proportion to the intensity of effort. But surely, it would be tragic to miss out on the deserving glory of the 80 feet shoot.
So often we quit just when positive results to our proactive efforts are just round the corner. It is not enough to take initiative and follow up with sincere actions. To be better at getting a deserving consequence we must inculcate the attitude of patience and perseverance. The outcome may be delayed but it is worth the wait when the end-result more than makes up for the delay.
Let’s BE BETTER at patience in every waiting game
The script of bamboo & success remains the same!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, July 25, 2011
HUMAN PLANK
Magic has always been fascinating for an audience. The illusionist, as expert magicians call themselves, uses his skill honed over years of consistent practice, the power of engaging speech and innovative set up of a drama. He takes his skill to the level of refined art. The primary motive is to entertain, and surely to an impressive impact.
Many from my tribe of trainers are attracted by the skill of magic and its ability to impress the learners as a tool that intrigues as well as excites the participants at a training workshop. However, while most would reveal the logic behind the magic, there are a few who indulge in deceit by claiming that the trick is based on some special powers of hypnosis.
One such trick is the ‘human plank’. The act involves making a subject lie horizontally between two chairs, making the body rigid and making another volunteer stand upon that person for dramatic effect. Actually the trick requires no hypnosis... rather it depends on the fact that when the subjects are positioned in the appropriate manner, they can support more weight than it may seem possible to the audience.
While it is good for educators to use the magicians’ trick as an activity to aid esteem building, it would be better if we shun the temptation to betray the trust that learners invest in us. The plank of trust between the learner and the teacher should not be built on consciously conceived irrational interpretations of what is a perfectly logical phenomenon. Persons who betray the trust deserve to be exposed for their deceit.
Let’s BE BETTER at honouring the trust learners invest in us
The human plank is a logical possibility, not hypnosis fuss!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Musings conceived while in Kerala, India.
Many from my tribe of trainers are attracted by the skill of magic and its ability to impress the learners as a tool that intrigues as well as excites the participants at a training workshop. However, while most would reveal the logic behind the magic, there are a few who indulge in deceit by claiming that the trick is based on some special powers of hypnosis.
One such trick is the ‘human plank’. The act involves making a subject lie horizontally between two chairs, making the body rigid and making another volunteer stand upon that person for dramatic effect. Actually the trick requires no hypnosis... rather it depends on the fact that when the subjects are positioned in the appropriate manner, they can support more weight than it may seem possible to the audience.
While it is good for educators to use the magicians’ trick as an activity to aid esteem building, it would be better if we shun the temptation to betray the trust that learners invest in us. The plank of trust between the learner and the teacher should not be built on consciously conceived irrational interpretations of what is a perfectly logical phenomenon. Persons who betray the trust deserve to be exposed for their deceit.
Let’s BE BETTER at honouring the trust learners invest in us
The human plank is a logical possibility, not hypnosis fuss!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Musings conceived while in Kerala, India.
Monday, July 18, 2011
GIGO
In the late 1990’s, while conducting training workshops for teams from the IT industry, I learnt a great deal from them about using the computer and the internet. Additionally, I also learnt of the unravelling of their vocabulary of abbreviations. One such term was GIGO - Garbage In, Garbage Out!
The phrase was used to point out that computers mechanically process the most ridiculous of input data (garbage in) and produce nonsensical output (garbage out). The term was most popular in the early days of computing, but applies even more today, when even impressive computers spew out loads of erroneous information in a short time.
GIGO is also used to describe failures in human decision making due to faulty, incomplete, or imprecise data. We involve in a tendency to put excessive trust in information on the internet. If we allow ourselves to blindly accept unsubstantiated information, surely we will spew out similar nonsense. We need to apply our critical thinking at all times to be better at ensuring that we do not suffer the GIGO syndrome... or change the context to Good In, Good Out!
‘Garbage in, Garbage out’ is a regressive inclination...
Let’s BE BETTER at the critically thoughtful actions!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, July 11, 2011
LET GO!
A wise man shared a funny incident with his audience. Everyone almost split their sides with laughter. Strangely he repeated the joke to the sound of restrained mirth. He kept cracking the same joke again and again till there was no laughter in the crowd. Then, with a smile he queried, ‘when you cannot laugh at the same joke over and over again, why do you keep crying over the same thing again and again?’
The above anecdote came to me through e-mail. Surely, we hold on too much to the negative incidents in our life. Even when the wound has healed, we still carry the pain. Life moves on but often we languish in travails gone by. We keep crying over the same thing again and again.
We need to draw inspiration from little children. They can laugh at the same joke again, yet they forget the unpleasant in a jiffy. But as we grow older we begin to let go of the joys and hold on to the sorrows. The past sadness is allowed to sour up the possibilities in the present and the opportunities in the tomorrows to come.
After all, it is said so well that it is futile to cry over spilt milk. It is best to let go of the past and the moments old. We need to shrug off the grip of discouragement that comes from being burdened by a bad experience. We must be better at celebrating the affirmative and overcoming the negative.
Let go of the sadness of moments old...
BE BETTER at casting a positive mould!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, July 4, 2011
LET EAT!
‘Do not force feed, let the person freely eat’ - Pedro
In my tribe of trainers, traditional techniques employ the revealing theory which is often followed by justifications to underline the importance and relevance of the revealed information. However it is pertinent to note that most effective method that meshes better with how the brain works and assimilates information, is to introduce information through what is described as the EAT theory.
The acronym EAT refers to the three-stepped formula of Experience, Awareness and Theory. The approach starts with the learner going through an actual experience or sharing learnings from an earlier experience. The second step includes debriefing and discussion to bring about an Awareness of what they experienced. Lastly to tie up loose ends, the trainer confirms the Theory is confirmed in its entirety.
The reverse process singularly focuses only on explaining the theory. Information is passed on but the probability of real transfer of knowledge is at a huge disadvantage. After all, all information that is not understood by the recipient is in vain. On the other hand, experiential learning draws its vision from the maxim that ‘lessons are not meant to be taught… they are meant to be learnt.’
The same principle is applicable to teachers and other educators as well. In fact, it is all about freeing the learners’ mind and helping it embark on a dynamic journey of observation, thinking and interaction. Surely we can be better off at facilitating learning if we allowing learners to EAT with an open mind!
Why force feed and fetter learners’ feet...
BE BETTER at letting them freely EAT!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
In my tribe of trainers, traditional techniques employ the revealing theory which is often followed by justifications to underline the importance and relevance of the revealed information. However it is pertinent to note that most effective method that meshes better with how the brain works and assimilates information, is to introduce information through what is described as the EAT theory.
The acronym EAT refers to the three-stepped formula of Experience, Awareness and Theory. The approach starts with the learner going through an actual experience or sharing learnings from an earlier experience. The second step includes debriefing and discussion to bring about an Awareness of what they experienced. Lastly to tie up loose ends, the trainer confirms the Theory is confirmed in its entirety.
The reverse process singularly focuses only on explaining the theory. Information is passed on but the probability of real transfer of knowledge is at a huge disadvantage. After all, all information that is not understood by the recipient is in vain. On the other hand, experiential learning draws its vision from the maxim that ‘lessons are not meant to be taught… they are meant to be learnt.’
The same principle is applicable to teachers and other educators as well. In fact, it is all about freeing the learners’ mind and helping it embark on a dynamic journey of observation, thinking and interaction. Surely we can be better off at facilitating learning if we allowing learners to EAT with an open mind!
Why force feed and fetter learners’ feet...
BE BETTER at letting them freely EAT!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, June 27, 2011
FACE IT!
Every time when we look at ourselves in the mirror, what do we see? Surely we see what we choose to be. If we see a glowing or a glum image it just reflects our dominant emotion at that time. It also mirrors possibilities of positive transformations in our thoughts.
Surely what matters is not what we face but how we face it! For instance, a bald person may go beyond acceptance of the situation to a confidence level that transforms it into a style statement. On the other hand, we notice the pathetic distress of those who cannot face a declining hairline.
We need to focus on ‘what is’ rather than ‘what is not’. It is all about facing the outside reality with inner strength. And inner strength comes when we take ownership of our lives, of what we are and of what we have. But first, we must face it by unlearning negative perceptions of what is good and what is bad.
Transformations best happen inside out. Worries and fears disappear when we face any situation with grit. We need to BE BETTER at looking beyond the surface to connect to the beauty of the inner self. It is pertinent to note that when we change our outlook to our own predicament; we see the outer world too, in positive light.
Let go of worrisome fears, just face it...
Let’s BE BETTER at ownership of grit!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Surely what matters is not what we face but how we face it! For instance, a bald person may go beyond acceptance of the situation to a confidence level that transforms it into a style statement. On the other hand, we notice the pathetic distress of those who cannot face a declining hairline.
We need to focus on ‘what is’ rather than ‘what is not’. It is all about facing the outside reality with inner strength. And inner strength comes when we take ownership of our lives, of what we are and of what we have. But first, we must face it by unlearning negative perceptions of what is good and what is bad.
Transformations best happen inside out. Worries and fears disappear when we face any situation with grit. We need to BE BETTER at looking beyond the surface to connect to the beauty of the inner self. It is pertinent to note that when we change our outlook to our own predicament; we see the outer world too, in positive light.
Let go of worrisome fears, just face it...
Let’s BE BETTER at ownership of grit!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, June 20, 2011
BLACK SPOT
Yesterday, I was in Mumbai to conducting an unlearning workshop titled ‘Hum Tum’. It is a Hindi version of my workshop on relationships – Me & You. Most of the members of the host organisation, Shree Jhab Jain Parishad, came along with their wives. Hence the thrust was on the most intimate of relationships – the one with the spouse.
One of the points that came up for discussion was the general reluctance of voicing appreciation towards spouses. This was in sharp contrast to the practice of sharing criticism. For instance, we make a fuss over food that is saltless or too salty. Yet when faultless, we may not state it to be so.
The founder president, Khimraj Jain shared an anecdote. A husband found a black spot in his cup of kheer. Thinking it to be a dead ant, he scooped it out with a spoon onto another cup. He kept finding more black spots and repeated his activity until the cup was empty. He told his wife that the kheer was full of dead ants. His wife calmly pointed that there was a black spot on his spectacles and none in the kheer!
Appreciation and criticism are eventually in the eyes, ears and minds of the beholder. Surely, all of us need to be better in our consistency and sensitivity in ensuring a sensitive response to every stimulus in a relationship. It is important to respond, but it most important to repond fairly... all the time!
Clean the black spot off your viewing glass
and BE BETTER at responding without fuss!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
One of the points that came up for discussion was the general reluctance of voicing appreciation towards spouses. This was in sharp contrast to the practice of sharing criticism. For instance, we make a fuss over food that is saltless or too salty. Yet when faultless, we may not state it to be so.
The founder president, Khimraj Jain shared an anecdote. A husband found a black spot in his cup of kheer. Thinking it to be a dead ant, he scooped it out with a spoon onto another cup. He kept finding more black spots and repeated his activity until the cup was empty. He told his wife that the kheer was full of dead ants. His wife calmly pointed that there was a black spot on his spectacles and none in the kheer!
Appreciation and criticism are eventually in the eyes, ears and minds of the beholder. Surely, all of us need to be better in our consistency and sensitivity in ensuring a sensitive response to every stimulus in a relationship. It is important to respond, but it most important to repond fairly... all the time!
Clean the black spot off your viewing glass
and BE BETTER at responding without fuss!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, June 13, 2011
FRAGILITY
A disciple once asked his Zen master about why the Japanese made their teacups so delicate that they broke easily. The master replied, ‘the teacups are not too delicate; but you need to be better at handling them. You must adjust yourself to the environment and not vice versa.’
So often, when we are clumsy and end up breaking something, we affix onus on its fragility. But it is pertinent to note that things don’t break due to their fragility alone, rather they break due to our own inability to match up to the delicate realities of the situation. The prime reason is the careless approach that arises out of an insensitive outlook based on a changing perception of the situation.
Consider the example of parents who may show great patience with a toddler, yet they may not display the same endurance with a grown up child. This is due to the perception that the older person has outgrown susceptibility to fragility. Human beings are known to retain their tenderness beyond childhood, right up to old age and surely they merit the same sensitive approach.
Hence, whether it is persons, situations or things, we need to be better in our attitudes and approaches in first recognising the aspects of fragility and then responding with tender and sturdy sensitivity. After all, most things that are delicate cannot be put together if broken. In more ways than one, the future of fragile things, situations and relationships lies only in our hands!
To BE BETTER at handling fragility...
Remember it starts and ends with me!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, June 6, 2011
BIGOTRY
‘Adgula Madgula’ was the closing film at the Marathi film fest held last weekend in Goa. The title refers to a traditional lullaby and obviously the film is about a baby. The first part shows a quixotic but well knit family awaiting the birth of a baby. The second part shows their stunned reactions when they discover the baby is dark skinned, unlike anyone in their families. They shun the one who they so eagerly awaited!
The story brings to the fore the irony of racism. We Indians, who suffer racist attacks elsewhere, are quite often full of ridiculous bias towards dark skinned people. Bigotry is the bane of humanism and yet it is so prevalent due to the constant social stereotyping of persons based on colour, religion, language and other irrelevant factors.
Abraham Heschel referred to racism as the maximum of hatred for the minimum of reason. We have to examine whether we harbour such irrational instincts of hate. It is not enough to argue that our prejudice does not result in the outright rejection of human beings. Luke warm acceptance is more bewildering, like Martin Luther King said.
The test of our humaneness is the character and the consistency in our response to others. To be better human beings we must unlearn the negative conditioning of chauvinistic bigotry. It is not enough to declare our open mindedness; our every action should move beyond intolerance and accept the true spirit of humanism, without a trace of discrimination.
It is only humanism that will set us free
Let’s BE BETTER at shunning bigotry...
- Pravin K. Sabnis
The story brings to the fore the irony of racism. We Indians, who suffer racist attacks elsewhere, are quite often full of ridiculous bias towards dark skinned people. Bigotry is the bane of humanism and yet it is so prevalent due to the constant social stereotyping of persons based on colour, religion, language and other irrelevant factors.
Abraham Heschel referred to racism as the maximum of hatred for the minimum of reason. We have to examine whether we harbour such irrational instincts of hate. It is not enough to argue that our prejudice does not result in the outright rejection of human beings. Luke warm acceptance is more bewildering, like Martin Luther King said.
The test of our humaneness is the character and the consistency in our response to others. To be better human beings we must unlearn the negative conditioning of chauvinistic bigotry. It is not enough to declare our open mindedness; our every action should move beyond intolerance and accept the true spirit of humanism, without a trace of discrimination.
It is only humanism that will set us free
Let’s BE BETTER at shunning bigotry...
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, May 30, 2011
Voltaire
He died on this day in 1778, leaving behind an inspirational legacy of tolerance towards dissent. Voltaire was a prolific French writer, critic, historian and philosopher, who employed wit and logic to advocate the cause of civil liberties, freedom and social reform. He produced works in varied literary forms of plays, poetry, novels and essays. His ideas influenced important thinkers of the American and French Revolutions.
However the oft-cited Voltaire quotation - “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it” – is said to be incorrectly credited to him. The words were used by Evelyn Beatrice Hall in her book - The Friends of Voltaire - to state Voltaire's attitude. Voltaire championed the cause of tolerance to such an extent that he supported the rights of the people who disagreed with him.
Today in an increasingly intolerant world, we need to be better at inculcating Voltaire’s attitude and approach. We need to be more open minded in very passionate debate and discussion. And to do so we have to genuinely believe like Voltaire did, that all human beings are not only equal, but also that they have a right to disagree. It is all about disagreeing without being disagreeable.
I must BE BETTER at ensuring real tolerance in me
by not being disagreeable every time I disagree!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, May 23, 2011
EXCUSITIS
It is said so well that if somebody speaks of lack of time, it means one of two things... the person does not know how to or does not want to and is being unabashedly untruthful! Effectively it is a skill thing in the first case and an attitude thing in the latter. But both situations are ones of excuses, as in a plausible case of being pre-occupied with other priorities, one would opt for real reasons not unreasonable excuses!
The syndrome of excusitis refers to the behaviour that finds all sorts of excuses to justify lack of action. So often we come up with unoriginal justifications for the unjustifiable. The person seized by excusitis not only wrongly believes that his stance appears logical, but also tends to be gripped by recurring excusitis in other situations as well!
It is common to hear excuses for not having called or visited due to the lack of knowledge about telephone numbers and addresses. In today’s age of information explosion, such excuses are most bizarre. When my mother wished to see her cousin whom we had no information about other than that he lived in Pune, it took just a few minutes with the telephone directory and a dozen calls to trace him down and visit him.
The problem with the overpowering impact of excusitis is that it blinds us from our own abilities. It makes us shirk responsibility and give up on our own competencies to face any challenge. Hence every time, an excuse arises in our mind, let’s opt to be better at taking charge of our choices, our actions or the lack of them! Escaping excusitis leads to embracing the ownership of our lives and our true potential!
Let’s BE BETTER at ownership of our every action...
instead of embracing excusitis as a regular reaction!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Bengaluru, India.
Monday, May 16, 2011
ON CAMERA!
So often, nowadays at every little event, you see a crowd of young and old enthusiasts, standing in an awkward pose, back bent backwards and forefinger on the trigger... all set to capture the scene on cameras of different sizes and types. Never mind that the hosts have commissioned a professional photographer to document the event.
Earlier the camera was meant for the ones who could afford it or the ones who could use it. Now it is easily affordable as well as usable. It comes as an add-on with other tools like mobile phones. It has empowered the needs of photo documentation. Journalism and even activism has found its uses to capture, chronicle and transfer visual information.
However the fundamental focus of the camera’s real potential is lost on its many converts. More often not, the furious frenzy of such photographers displays that they are only interested in clicking the shot rather than experiencing the activity being captured. They rush from shot to shot, observing nothing. It is akin to W H Davies’ poetic lament, ‘no time to wait till her mouth can... enrich the smile her eyes began’!
The camera is a highly useful invention, but it remains secondary to the human eye and its sensitivity to the minute detail and the larger vision. It would be better for us to use our eyes before we use the camera. The personal experience and the understanding that comes from it helps empower the photographer’s penchant for perfecting the skill... like so many talented lensmen so well display!
Let’s BE BETTER at experiencing the real activity...
Instead of a mechanical capture for needless posterity!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Mumbai, India.
Monday, May 9, 2011
FIREWALKING
The feat of walking barefoot, on a bed of red hot embers, is performed among many communities across the world. The ritual continues to be identified as a test of courage and strength or as a test of one’s faith. However science has demystified the practice. Burn will not be induced unless the skin remains in contact with the fiery coals for substantial time. The same principle is seen when we move our finger over a flame.
Nevertheless, hazards and risks remain, if firewalking is done improperly. Hasty running as well as over cautious slow walking will result in blisters. In my tribe of trainers, the firewalk is an increasingly used confidence-building activity during self-help seminars and corporate team working workshops.
The activity of firewalking holds many lessons. The firewalk helps connect to a dynamic self belief that helps reach beyond limiting beliefs. Breaking through one’s perceived boundaries frees an incredible amount of creative energy, allowing people to redefine themselves as people to whom the impossible becomes achievable.
The most valuable learning is that the fiery path will not be a painful experience, except for the hasty and the reluctant. To be better at taking on every scorching challenge that lies in our path, we must combine self belief, and an understanding of the situation, with a well planned and time bound approach.
Let’s BE BETTER at walking every fiery section...
with a plan empowered by self belief and action!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
