BLACK SPOT

Yesterday, I was in Mumbai to conducting an unlearning workshop titled ‘Hum Tum’. It is a Hindi version of my workshop on relationships – Me & You. Most of the members of the host organisation, Shree Jhab Jain Parishad, came along with their wives. Hence the thrust was on the most intimate of relationships – the one with the spouse.

One of the points that came up for discussion was the general reluctance of voicing appreciation towards spouses. This was in sharp contrast to the practice of sharing criticism. For instance, we make a fuss over food that is saltless or too salty. Yet when faultless, we may not state it to be so.

The founder president, Khimraj Jain shared an anecdote. A husband found a black spot in his cup of kheer. Thinking it to be a dead ant, he scooped it out with a spoon onto another cup. He kept finding more black spots and repeated his activity until the cup was empty. He told his wife that the kheer was full of dead ants. His wife calmly pointed that there was a black spot on his spectacles and none in the kheer!

Appreciation and criticism are eventually in the eyes, ears and minds of the beholder. Surely, all of us need to be better in our consistency and sensitivity in ensuring a sensitive response to every stimulus in a relationship. It is important to respond, but it most important to repond fairly... all the time!

Clean the black spot off your viewing glass
and BE BETTER at responding without fuss!

- Pravin K. Sabnis