KYOSEI

‘Kyosei’ is a union of two Japanese words: ‘kyo’ means together and ‘sei’ means to live. The term was first used in academic biology to refer to symbiosis. However, the concept of ‘kyosei’ is also increasingly used in the social context as ‘living and working together for the common good’.

In an increasingly competitive, highly individualistic world, so many of us work only for our personal good. Yet we complain about the negative impact of self-centered attitudes and actions by other persons like us. The kyosei philosophy is based on the fundamental belief that only a harmonious coexistence with nature and the environment can help society achieve sustainable development.

The core tenets of kyosei are universal principles of common sense and morality This include the tenet of reciprocity and the golden rule of treating others as you would like to be treated. It also implies an understanding of our primary interconnectedness and the fact that our actions have an impact both in local (visible) and far-reaching (invisible) ways.

It is about valuing the “middle path”... like practicing moderation in personal habits and the need to find a healthy balance between self-interest and altruism. It involves the crucial preference for simplicity. After all it is the elegance of simplicity that will be better at connecting us into harmony with others and the planet.

To deserve quality of life, we have to look beyond

Let’s BE BETTER at being part of the kyosei bond!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

PEZ!

On 6 December 2006, a meeting was convened in Goa to discuss the then impending danger of the proposed SEZs (Special Economic Zones). During the deliberations, somebody suggested that the alternatives to SEZs were PEZ (People’s Economic Zone). And thus was born a highly stimulating slogan in the local Konkani lingo – “amka naka SEZ, amka zai PEZ” (We do not want SEZ, we want PEZ)

It is pertinent to note that ‘pez’ is also another Goan word for kanji – rice gruel.It is an integral part of the meals of the poor. Yet, others too opt for the ‘pez’ diet whenever confronted with illness. The elders recommended ‘pez’ as a healthy habit. Clearly, ‘pez’ is more than a tradition… it is a fundamentally simple yet highly nourishing meal of Goans and so many who reside on the coast.

Similarly, PEZ as People’s Economic Zone remains a fundamentally simple yet highly sustainable concept. SEZs and all their other avatars are essentially land grabs and their development brings along destructive, irreversible impacts on lands, lives and livelihoods. Thus they are at best an oxymoron of destructive development and are invariably fuelled not by the stated need of the stakeholders but the ravenous greed of a few.

Any so-called development that deteriorates the land, lives and livelihoods cannot be accepted as real development. Development is not about creating newer things and situations. It should be about enhancing value of existing resources and conditions. It is all about trying to be better, not worse! But like pez, PEZ should not be about solutions to be chosen after a problem happens… it should be the basic prevention of the problem’s occurrence.

Not just when the situation gets worse and toxic

Let’s BE BETTER at choosing PEZ as a practice!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

THE STORY OF STUFF

Every summer when Annie Leonard’s family would drive out to camp, she would look at the landscape. She noted that the stores reached a bit further and the forests started a bit later every subsequent year. She wondered where the forests were going. Years later, while walking to her college, she would see piles of garbage line New York street’s every dawn. In the evening, she would walk back to her dorm, staring at empty sidewalks. She was increasingly intrigued with this microcosm of materials flow. She started looking into the trash to see what was in those never-ending piles. It was mostly paper. That was where the forests were ending up!

Annie took a trip to the infamous Fresh Kills landfill. Its volume was described as greater than that of the Great Wall of China. In every direction, she could see couches, refrigerators, boxes, used clothes, stuff… Annie just couldn’t comprehend the massive mountain of materials, reduced to muck, by some system obviously out of control. She knew this was terribly wrong. She vowed to figure it out. And 20 years later she did!

Annie created THE STORY OF STUFF - a 20-minute web-based documentary about the life-cycle of goods and services. She presented the critical connection between a huge number of environmental and social issues. Her thesis, "you cannot run a linear system on a finite planet indefinitely" is supported throughout the documentary by statistical data. It can be viewed at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLBE5QAYXp8

Annie explains, “Our current ways of making, using and throwing away stuff is largely based on unsustainable and unjust systems yet, as a society, we’ve got this big collective blind spot about talking about this. Let’s raise the issues, let’s ask the hard questions, let’s get it on the table and examine it and debate it and figure out together how to move forward towards solutions.” As she says in the film, one of the good things about such an all pervasive problem is that there are so many points of intervention. The world will be better if we find that intervention that matches our skill set and our passions. Like Annie did!

First we must understand and then intervene to change the story

Let’s BE BETTER at taking on stuff that makes our world gory!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

THE FIRST PRINCIPLE

Kosen was a Zen Master, exceptionally skilled in calligraphy. Once, he was asked to sketch onto paper the words “The First Principle”, to guide carpenters to carve a larger carving in wooden gate of the temple. However while he sketched he was wary of a bold apprentice who stood next to him, disapproving of Kosen first effort and his next and his next…

Kosen kept writing one sheet after another till many had accumulated, still without the endorsement of the pupil. Then, when his student stepped outside for a few moments, Kosen saw his chance to escape his keen eye. He wrote hurriedly, with a mind free from distraction. The pupil returned to see his work and pronounce, "A masterpiece!"

Until, Kosen was engulfed by the weight of measuring up to his pupil’s approval, he could not actualise his own capability. The pressure weighed him down and distracted him from his own natural performance. The momentary exit of his student freed him of the tension and he was able to complete the task to his own approval as well as that of his pupil!

So often, we too succumb to the stress and strain of approval and expectations of others, not only when surrounded by them, but also in their absence. Worrying about what others will think about what we did, is the biggest distraction that sidetracks us off our path. To be better at doing anything, we need to liberate ourselves of the anxiety that comes out of worrying about appraisal by others.

Let’s overcome pressure that diverts us from our ability

The First Principle to BE BETTER is to shake off anxiety!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

No more Bhopals!

Yesterday, 45 workers at the Kaiga nuclear plant in Karwar, Karnataka suffered from radiation from contaminated water. While the Atomic Energy Commission may allege an act of sabotage, the worst fears are coming true for all who were opposed to the setting up of the plant. Sadly, we refuse to learn the lessons from man-made disasters.

Twenty-five years ago, at midnight on 3 December 1984, it was a tryst with fatality for over 500,000 people in Bhopal. The Union Carbide plant released methyl isocyanate gas and other chemicals, killing nearly 10,000 in 72 hours and thrice the number have since died from gas-afflicted diseases. Even now, 390 tonnes of toxic chemicals abandoned at the plant continue to contaminate the ground water in Bhopal and affect its residents.

Here in Goa, hazardous wastes from polluting industries is released into surface as well as ground waters. Man made disasters are a creation of callous corporates for whom profits are a greater priority than the lives of human beings. Our natural resources and human resource are under attack by the pied pipers of economic prosperity. The appreciation of wealth of a few is resulting in the depreciation of the health of many.

It is only at our peril that we can ignore the menace, of ‘toxification’ of our ecosystem. Any act that worsens the condition of land and lives cannot be accepted as development. But plain indignation by the citizens can never suffice. It would be better to commit ourselves to real actions to ensure that there are no more Bhopals! We must treat all man made disasters as acts of bio-terrorism and counter them, their promoters and apologists as such.

To BE BETTER at learning the Bhopal lesson,
We must treat man made disasters as treason!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

PAST TENSE?

"You'd turn out this way too, if you had a childhood like mine" was the answer two brothers gave whenever asked why their lives turned out the way they did. They shared a dreadful childhood. Their mother died young and their father was an abusive alcoholic who was violent with his children. Their nurturing was in the midst of the worst of family conditions. Obviously, all this had a huge impact on their eventual life scripts.

One brother could not cope with school and dropped out. He involved in various businesses and went through many lows. Like his father, he took to excessive drinking. After marriage, he would shout at and beat up his wife and his children, just like his father did. An unfortunate story was being repeated all over again.

His other brother too dropped out from school. He joined the trade of a mechanic and began to earn a decent living. He enrolled at a night school and went on to educate himself. He was a sensitive and supportive husband to his wife and a caring and doting father to his children.

Both brothers could not change their terrible past. Yet their diverse life scripts are a pointer that our life is eventually about the choice we make. While one brother succumbed to the dead weight of his past, the other chose to learn from his past and ensure that it was not repeated.

Pedro says, “the past tells where you come from, but it does not tell where you will go”. Where we go is decided not by our past but our response to it. Life is the script that we write by our actions and attitude. If we want our life to be better, we must go beyond the burdens of the past.

Whether our past was tense or whether it was the best…
Our life must go beyond to BE BETTER by laying it to rest!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

DOOMSDAY RETURNS

“I worry that, especially as the Millennium edges nearer, pseudo-science and superstition will seem year by year more tempting, the siren song of unreason more sonorous and attractive.” – Dr Carl Sagan

Dr Sagan’s apprehensions about modern gullibility continue to resonate in the present millennium as well. A latest disaster film makes specious claims interlaced with purportedly scientific message to suggest that the world would end in 2012. A fictitious website (set up by the producers of the film) lists the Nibiru collision, a galactic alignment and increased solar activity among its possible doomsday scenarios.

David Morrison of NASA received over 1000 inquiries from people who thought the website was genuine. He has condemned it, saying "I've even had cases of teenagers writing to me saying they are contemplating suicide because they don't want to see the world end. I think when you lie on the Internet and scare children in order to make a buck that is ethically wrong."

It is necessary to put the current hype about Mayan calendars and doomsday predictions in context. Though most prophecies of doom come from a religious perspective, the secular crowd has caused its share of scares as well. But it is pertinent to note that the one thing the doomsday scenarios tend to share in common is that ‘they don't come to pass!’

Yet the gullible continue to accept the incredulous. And yet, we do not pay heed to real imminent problems like global warming, pollution pressure, growing economic disparity and skewed developmental policies. It would be better if we trash doomsday predictions and instead set right our own irresponsible actions that may spell doomsday for the future generations.

In our real world there is much to be done; there is much to fear…
It will BE BETTER if we let go of the worry of a fake-doomsday year!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

SINGLE STORY

“The single story creates stereotypes. And the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete.” - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

In the early 80’s, a single story was spread about the Sikh community in India … that all of them were violent terrorists deserving to be shot down by the Army. This single story sought to condemn an entire community which actually carries many dimensions of humanism, humour, entrepreneurship and infectious enthusiasm. Today, though that vicious single story of the Sikhs is no longer a part of our consciousness… the actions and attitudes born of it have left behind a bloody trail of brutality and killing.

Single stories give rise to stereotypes and prejudices that lead us to opinions ranging from contempt to hatred, from false pride to a negative sense of history, from insensitivity to irrationality. Stories cannot be just painted in black and white with shades of grey. They must reflect the entire assortment of facts, contradictions and possibilities. The hue has to reflect the human diversity in its multiple dimensions and its many stories.

Nigerian writer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, makes the pertinent point that the single, stereotyped story flattens the experience to a singular and dangerously-damaging dimension. She insists that multiple stories matter, “Stories have been used to dispossess and to malign. But stories can also be used to empower, and to humanize. Stories can break the dignity of a people. But stories can also repair that broken dignity.” And it is such multiple stories that can save us from the danger of a single story! (http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html)

To BE BETTER at breaking the stereotype …
We must go beyond the single story hype!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

TERRORISM

The annual general body of the Parent Teachers Association provides occasion to voice concerns. At my daughter’s school, a parent, Mr. Zaidi spoke on the threatening trepidation of terrorism. He made a pertinent point that terrorists were not just those who endangered lives… they included all those whose diminutive acts led to eventual destruction and devastation.

Zaidi spelt out the seemingly innocuous acts that paved the path to peril. Motorists who exceeded speed limit restrictions endangered the safety of the bridge and therefore they were indulging in terrorism. Citizens who did not participate in the responsible management of garbage were pushing society to a deadly epidemic and hence they were fostering a terrorist act. Similarly, environment polluters were jeopardizing lives and foisting terrorism.

Zaidi’s analysis made a pertinent point. Terrorism arises in a self-centred mind clouded by a criminal contempt for collective responsibilities… where narrow motives eclipse the common good. Every time, we involve in acts that eventually lead to the endangerment of lives, we are becoming active contributors to the inhuman acts of terrorism. More often than not, it is the governing authorities and promoters of irresponsible and self-interested ‘development’ that contribute to the build-up of deadly acts of destruction.

However, it is not enough to be a good person… we must be better at ensuring zero tolerance for all acts that lead to eventual terrorism. We must ask ourselves: Do we directly or indirectly support those who in the name of development wreck destruction of lives, lands and livelihoods? Do we overtly or covertly support religious fundamentalists who use the cloak of spiritualism to promote hate and contempt that eventually leads to rioting and violence? Or do we just stand and stare in insensitive indifference?

To BE BETTER at tackling the menace of terrorism…
Let’s connect citizenship with responsive humanism!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

EMPATHY

Our ability to connect with another’s predicament can vary from insensitive indifference to responsive understanding called empathy. Empathy is distinct from pity, sympathy and emotional contagion. Pity is ‘feeling sorry’ for someone in trouble and in need of help. Sympathy is feeling compassion or concern for another, the wish to see them better off or happier. Emotional contagion is when we imitatively 'catch' the emotions that others are showing without necessarily recognizing this is happening.

In 1993, just before Diwali, the Latur earthquake uprooted lives, families and homes. All of us felt pity and sympathy for the affected people. Some of us joined the emotional contagion of donating money and material. But the most valuable lesson came from the families who chose to scale down Diwali celebrations to the bare minimum… as they would have if tragedy were to strike their own home. The money was instead spent for relief work.

Andre Gide queried aptly, ‘Are you then unable to recognize unless it has the same sound as yours?’ Empathy is about recognizing the ‘sound’ of another’s experience even if it is unlike any of ours. It is about putting oneself into the psychological frame of reference of another, so that the other person’s feelings, thinking and actions are understood.

However, empathy should not be an occasional emotion… to be unravelled only in times of great tragedy. For instance, we cuddle contradictions if we practise empathy as a response to ecological calamities while ignoring the fact that they are a result of man-made decisions that trigger the disaster. Hence, we must hear the ‘sounds’ of struggle of people who strive to save their lives, lands and livelihoods. Real empathy is about consistency in our actions to be responsible and responsive human beings.

To BE BETTER at the attitude of empathy…
Let’s move beyond situational sympathy!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

ART OF DYING

“I have seen two types of persons... some die silently, others die shouting… and now I saw the third kind” – from the film ‘Rang de Basanti’

When he was born on 17 February 1930 in Calicut, Kerala, the astrologers refused to cast a horoscope for him. They predicted that he would die soon. But Basava Premanand went on to live an inspirationally great life of 80 years till he died on 4 October 2009 at his residence in Podnur, Tamil Nadu.

In the 1940s, Premanand quit school to take part in Quit India Movement. He spent the next 7 years in the newly started Sri-Steila Gurukula. He started the Indian Committee for scientific investigation of Claims of the Paranormal; moved around India explaining the tricks behind miracles and superstitious psychic phenomena and founded FIRA (Federation of Indian Rationalist Associations) which has more than 68 organizations in 26 states in India. Besides authoring 36 books, he also edited the monthly ‘Indian Skeptic’ with articles on the scientific investigation of apparently paranormal occurrences.

Premanand has conducted workshops explaining about 150 miracles from different parts of the world. British film maker, Robert Eagle shot Premanand displaying and teaching many supposedly supernatural stunts such as levitation, flesh piercing and live burials in his documentary, "Guru Busters". He was given a fellowship of National Council for Science and Technology Communication (NCSTC) for his efforts to spread scientific awareness.

In 2006, Premanand was diagnosed to be on the threshold of death due to extreme cancer of the stomach. Though doctors insisted on an emergency operation, Premanand went off instead to search for a contractor to build his dream project - a museum on Method of Science. He handed over the money and came back for an operation that was unable to negate the shadow of death. Yet, Premanand’s enthusiasm never diminished and the project was inaugurated on 5 March 2009 in Podnur.

As his health worsened, Premanand’s detractors began a malicious campaign that he had renounced his rationalism. The fiery sceptic called for his colleagues, Dr Narendra Nayak and Somu Rao and wrote a “declaration of attitude and temperament’ wherein he challenged the rumours and urged his colleagues in the movement to keep working for the cause of rationalism and humanism.

The news of an impeding death has frozen dreams in many a mind… people get sentimental and indulge in worrying… they look at smaller concerns, most surrounding self-interests… tough personalities slow down after being told that they possess some life threatening ailment. But undoubtedly, Premanand has taught us the art of dying… of never giving up on living!

Premanand has shown us the way to BE BETTER at the art of living…
We must move on faster with our life’s dreams when pursued by dying!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

JOY OF GIVING

An ancient tale tells the story of woman who while wandering in the mountains, found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met a hungry traveler and when she opened her bag to share her food, he saw the precious stone. Instinctively, he asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing since he knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.

However, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. "I've been thinking," he said. "I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone."

Surely there is no greater personal asset than the joy that comes of giving. We may share sometimes some of our resources or some of our money. But we need to be better at giving. Like the women in the story, we must have the courage to share the most valuable – time, skills, knowledge and most importantly opportunity. It is all about letting go of our self-absorbed and self-seeking attitude that turns us away from the joy of giving…

Also, so many of us ‘give’ only after we ‘grab’. A plunderer’s charity has no meaning. The joy of giving must comes out of a clear choice to redeem ourselves in a world of inequity and imbalance. When we look in the mirror in the morning, we should be looking at a citizen who is responsible and responsive – some who is part of the solution, not part of the problem… someone who does not grab, but who indulges in the joy of giving.

To BE BETTER at the joy of giving…
We must let go of self-centred living!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

WE SHALL OVERCOME

Today is the International Day of Peace. ‘Peace’ is deemed to signify an absence of antagonism and aggression. But it also represents a broader outlook of healthy interpersonal relationships in an interdependent world. Reasons for the absence of peace are primarily selfish greed, hateful prejudice and regressive discrimination.

Various peace movements have marched to the determined chorus of the peace anthem – ‘we shall overcome’. This protest song of the US civil rights movement is believed to be derived from a hymn penned by Reverend Charles Tindley in the early 1900s. Martin Luther King used it in his oratory. Joan Baez, Bruce Springsteen and many other singers have lent voice to it. Nations across the globe have created versions in so many languages.

Indeed, it isn’t enough to sing ‘we shall overcome’. Quite often peace becomes a shifty virtue that changes with situation. The cause of peace is oft sacrificed at the altar of selfishness. We may seek peace among religious communities, and yet play antagonist to our own neighbours. We may applaud efforts towards international peace, and yet turn a blind eye when destructive development seeks to disturb the peace of our people.

All this happens as we rein in our internal resolve for peace by succumbing to materialistic pressures. To be better at connecting to true peace, we must first overcome the circle of self-centredness and look beyond to the larger perspective of peace for all. Very simply, we must overcome hate, greed and injustice of all sorts. The path to peace is filled with toil, self-doubt, seclusion and even defeat. But we shall overcome, someday!

To BE BETTER at ‘overcoming’ the war someday…
Let’s commit to the true resolve of peace today!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

DANCING

“Those move easiest who have learned to dance” - Alexander Pope

For many the thought of moving body to the sound of music may not be too exciting. It takes guts to dance, especially in front of an audience. We are afraid of making fools of ourselves. More often than not, it is about being self-conscious about our body. But, what if our body was physically challenged? Would the diffidence of dancing instinct increase?

In 1996, Ma Li lost her right arm in a car accident. She was 19 and training to be a ballerina. In 2001, she went on to win a gold medal in the national performing arts competition for the handicapped. In 2005, she met 21-year-old Zhai Xiaowein who had lost his left leg in a farming accident when he was just four. Ma Li began coaching Zhai to dance.

In 2007, the dance duo – one without an arm and the other without a leg - registered as one of the 7,000 competitors in the fourth annual Chinese modern dance competition. Their act won them a silver medal and the highest number of audience votes. The video clip of their dance is a huge inspiration for many (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnLVRQCjh8c) and ample proof of why they deserved to win.

So often we look at the way we are and find reasons to be de-motivated. But Ma Li and Zhai have shown that the way to live is to come to terms with what we are and yet choose to aim high. Life is not flawless but our living can be better in connecting to a lofty mission. Our body may not be faultless, but our dance can be better and full!

to BE BETTER at surviving life’s deadlock
Let’s learn dance and pull up our socks!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Length of the road

A young but earnest student approached a Zen master with a preliminary query, "If I work very hard and with diligence how long will it take for me to learn Zen." The Master immediately replied, "Ten years."

The student then said, "But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast -- How long then?" Replied the Master, "twenty years." "But, if I really, really work at it. How long then?" the student persisted. "Thirty years," replied the Master.

"But, I do not understand," said the disappointed student. "At each time that I say I will work harder, you say it will take me longer. Why do you say that?" Replied the Master," When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path."

So often, when we seek to learn something, we keep worrying about ‘when’ we would ‘reach’ the destination, instead of focusing on the purpose of the trip. The approach to learning needs an attitude of patience. Time, it is said, seems to fly slower to the one whose main occupation is to watch its flight.

More importantly, when we are seized by the length of the road we tend to let go of the exciting experiences during the journey of learning. We subject ourselves to an additional load on our mind which results in the creation of unnecessary stress that further clouds our visibility on the learning curve. It is prudent to ponder on ‘how’ rather than on ‘when’.

To BE BETTER at learning sans the load,
May we never mind the length of the road!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

RESPONSIBILITY

Imagine a King stripped of his kingdom and his wealth… Imagine a dog attacking this king-turned-pauper… and NOW imagine, a passer-by greeting the king… What would we do if we were the king fleeing that fearful dog? Maybe we would not even pause to respond to the greeting. Maybe, we would curse the person for poking fun at our predicament.

It is pertinent to note that a real King, (never mind the desperate situation) would accept the greeting with grace, befitting a King! A King is not a King because he is surrounded with wealth and power. A King needs to display consistent behaviour and unswerving attitude…

This attitude is put to test in the various corridors we walk… a person responds differently to different people who might wish him, say, “Good Morning”. The response ranges from a dignified “Good Morning” to a benevolent senior… an energetic greeting to a close associate… to a blank look or an irritated snub to a person whom we abhor or dislike.

Obviously, our response does not depend on us… It depends on who stands before us and on the situation that surrounds us… Not, so for a King! The response of a true King should be independent of situation or petty thinking… Such attitude is steadfast and full of conviction and a strong sense of responsibility. It is said so well that “responsibility” is the “ability” to give the right “response” irrespective of the stimulus or the situation.

To BE BETTER at leading a glorious king-size life,
Let’s display ‘responsibility’ even when in strife!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

EMPTY CUP

A young professor went to meet Nan-in to discuss Zen. The professor quizzed him on comparative philosophies and the Zen master gave some brief answers. However, when the professor began to debate with him on those answers, Nan-in stopped speaking and kept smiling at him. Eventually, the professor got angry, "I have travelled a distance just to understand the relevance of Zen. But apparently you have nothing to say."

In response, Nan-in offered tea to the professor. He kept pouring into his guest’s cup even when it was full. As the tea started spilling, the professor shouted, “the cup is full… no more tea will go in!” “Like this cup,” Nan-in said politely, “You are full of your own assumptions and presumptions. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

It is pertinent to note that fresh learning cannot really happen until unlearning has happened. In our personal, professional and social life, we need to unlearn habits, prejudices and most importantly our “know-all-attitude” that prevents fresh learning. It is necessary to inculcate humility and an open-minded attitude in our quest to further our learning processes. Without the right attitude, it is not possible for us to acquire knowledge and skills.

It is said so well, ‘Forget learning, learn forgetting’
‘Empty the cup’ to BE BETTER at true unlearning!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

BIG STONES

In the late 90s, while conducting training sessions on time management, I used to carry along a plastic jar. I would put stones, one by one, into the jar. Once the jar was filled to the top, I would ask the participants, “Is the jar full?" Obviously, not yet! Then, some gravel was put in the jar, to occupy the space between the big stones. The exercise continued with putting sand into all the spaces left between the gravel. Lastly, water was poured in until the jar was filled to the brim.

Then I would repeat the process in reverse, but in vain! Once the jar was full of water, some sand can go in but only after displacing some water… In the first scenario, nothing put in earlier was displace!! Gravel cannot go beyond the top surface of the wet sand… and as for the big stones they just won’t go in… if you use the force, either the stone will break or the jar will crack up. The natural truth this illustration teaches us is: “If you don't put the BIG STONES in first, you'll never get them in at all”.

The BIG STONES are our principal priorities in life … our individuality, our family, our friends, our physical and mental health, our dreams, our cause … Remember to put these BIG STONES in first, or you will never get them in at all. If we sweat the little stuff and fill our life with little things, then we will never have the real quality time we need to spend on our most important priorities. And of course, all your principal priorities are equally important!

Let’s hold on to the big stones in the jar of life,
May we BE BETTER at connecting to the right priorities!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

BAD WORD

Last week, a 2-day Youth Leadership Development Program - Carpe Diem - was organised by Goa Sudharop Community Development Inc. USA in collaboration with Fr Agnel College, Pilar. At the valedictory, the young chief guest, Fr Feroze Fernandes (editor – Vavradeacho Ixtt) chose to teach the students some new, modern ‘bad words’… and one such bad word was ‘good’!

Fr Feroze spoke of how the word ‘good’ as a response was not good enough! So often when asked to evaluate something, we easily say ‘good’ and more often than not it probably means ‘not bad’ or it means that we may be opting to be politely untruthful. But if we really find it to be good, we are more likely to use better superlatives like ‘great’, ‘fantastic’, ‘superb’!

But this miserliness with appropriate appreciation is not just a result of an indifferent or disinterested use of language. It reflects an attitudinal disconnect with the relevance and the consequence of positive reception towards the quality of excellence. The word, ‘Good’ symbolises a plateau… to peak, we need to ‘be better’! Hence, it will be prudent to treat ‘good’ as a bad word, and opt for more exuberance in our vocabulary and our outlook!

In every situation that surrounds us, let’s strive to ‘be better’… with every person we meet, may our behaviour be better than ‘good’… may every response of us reflect our inner resolve to shake off apathy and rise above the chains of mediocrity… may we enlivened enough and proactively provoked to BE BETTER at our deed, thought and expression!

Let’s rid our lexis of the bad word - ‘Good’… now, not later...
In every act and response, may we strive to BE BETTER!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

AGAIN AND AGAIN

A Zen story tells of a singer who ran off from his singing classes, overwhelmed by frustration. His strict teacher insisted that he rehearse day after day, month after month the same passage from the same song. When he went to another teacher to learn, he was asked to demonstrate his singing skill. He sang the same passage that he knew so well. His new teacher was impressed, “Son, you are already a master. There is nothing that I can teach you… you are already so proficient at singing.”

He practiced so much that it became a part of him. So often we spread ourselves too thin by trying to do too many things at once. But mastering one thing at a time creates a solid foundation that we can then build on. A singular really impressive skill gives us the confidence to tackle other skills.

The ability to practice is not only challenging and tiring, but mentally, can be very taxing. The rich Indian musical tradition has shown in so many ways that ‘riyaz’, (practice), not only helps develop skill; it also, empowers mind control in terms of patience, tolerance, endurance and focus.

However, just practicing isn't enough. Our heart must be into what we are doing. Also, doing the same thing again and again is not enough to be better at doing it well. Practice doesn't make perfect – it depends on what we practice, how we practice! Perseverance needs to combine with conscious improvement while taking our abilities one step further.

It is by falling again and again that the drop hollows the boulder...
Perseverance helps to BE BETTER at rising above the shoulder!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

ROOM FOR RUMOUR

“Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.”- G. B. Shaw

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 will see the occurrence of the longest total solar eclipse of this century, which will not be surpassed in duration until June 13, 2132. A total solar eclipse is a spectacular natural phenomenon and many enthusiasts have already embarked on travel to locations where it is best visible. An airline has even discovered business opportunity by announcing a flight to view the eclipse from the sky.

While the hype of the historical event has been in the public domain for a long time, a latest rumour has found greater attention. An e-mail doing the rounds warns coastal Asia of a tsunami triggered by the eclipse. Although mainstream scientists and media have already rejected this hypothesis, the rumour is swiftly gaining attention worldwide as an electronic chain letter. Doomsday prophets are going berserk with their unscientific predictions.

A day of joy will now be a day of worry for the gullible. Our minds have room for rumour at the cost of critical thinking. While we are slow to apply our minds, we show urgency in giving credibility to a rumour. We easily acquire the irresponsible habit to forward information without verifying its authenticity. It is ironical that people who receive e-rumours do not use the same internet to verify its authenticity.

Albert Einstein said it so well: “Information is not knowledge”. We must learn to sift facts from non-facts in the information we receive. We must be careful to ensure that non-factual rumours do not eclipse the real truth. To be better at escaping the stranglehold of rumours, we must develop the spirit of inquiry and investigation.

No room for rumour, but lots for critical inquiring...
That’s the way to BE BETTER at effective thinking!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

LOL

LOL is an acronym for ‘laugh out loud’ or ‘laughing out loud’. It is being increasingly used in internet and cellular textual communication. Although, some may also use it to mean ‘lots of love’, the majority would be using the abbreviation to indicate their expression of mirth. However, it is a matter of conjecture whether the person, who writes LOL as a response, is actually laughing out aloud or only saying so.

Interestingly, ‘LOL’ as a native Dutch word means ‘fun’ while in Welsh, it means ‘nonsense’. But as an acronym it is open to as many meanings as laughter can have… it can express glee, joy, delight, amusement, contempt, sarcasm, scorn, ridicule, derision, etc, etc. hence, ‘LOL’ does not tell us of a singular, specific response.

It is pertinent to note that e-communication can obscure real responses under generalized initializations. Surely it would be better to receive responses such as ‘that’s funny’ or ‘that’s not funny’ or ‘what’s so funny’ or ‘so that’s funny according to you’, so on and so forth instead of a repetitive ‘LOL’ which is open to different analysis. Exceptions would include cases when both persons on either side of the message are in tune with only one understanding of the term that is used.

Acronyms are wonderful things as long as they are singular in meaning. After all, it is more important to express rather than impress. Our communication will be better if our responses do not get expressed in generalizations which may not reflect our real response.

To BE BETTER at communicating our true feelings
We must avoid expressions with multiple meanings

:-) Pravin K. Sabnis

LANTERN

In ancient Japan, while venturing into the dark night, people carried bamboo-and-paper lanterns with candles inside.

One night, a host offered his blind visitor a lantern to carry home with him. The blind man declined saying, "Darkness or light is all the same to me." The wise host persisted, "I know you do not need a lantern to find your way, but if you don't have one, someone else may run into you."

The blind man started off with the lantern and before he had walked very far someone ran squarely into him. "Look out where you are going!" he exclaimed to the stranger. "Can't you see this lantern?"

"Your candle has burned out, brother," replied the stranger.

Now let’s recast the above characters. The blind man in the story is one of us. The stranger is a person who crosses our path. He could be a family member, a friend, a colleague, a customer or just a stranger. The lantern symbolises the persona we carry. The candle represents our dream, our vision. The path represents our life purpose, our mission…

Quite often we are cocky about our capabilities and may be rightfully so. But, we need to understand that while the lantern we hold lights up our path, it also enlightens our way and walk to the ones who we meet enroute! Hence we must constantly revisit our dreams and vision to ensure that the lantern of our personality is consistently illuminated. To be better at getting to our aspiration, we must connect to our guiding vision every night, every day!

To BE BETTER at overcoming the hurdles on the dark way
Our vision-candle must burn in our lantern, every day!

---- Pravin-da

LUCK?

Once, an old farmer’s old horse ran off into the hills. When, his neighbours sympathised with him over his bad luck, the farmer replied, 'Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?' A week later the horse returned with an imposing wild horse from the hills and this time the neighbours congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, 'Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?'

The farmer's son fell off and broke his leg while attempting to tame the wild horse. Everyone thought this to be bad luck. But the farmer maintained the same reaction, 'Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?' A week later the army marched into the village and forcefully enlisted every able-bodied youth. However they let off the farmer's son due to his broken leg.

Luck is said to be good if things go our way and bad if things go astray. But what seems good luck may actually turn bad and vice versa as well. So often, we hurry to attribute our so-called-luck to ridiculous reasoning. In fact, superstition arises from beliefs in luck being controlled by unseen forces, magical rituals and bizarre behaviour. Obviously, people who believe in luck tend to disconnect with pluck!

People who can be described retrospectively as “lucky” actually generate their own success via the following tactics: They develop proactive skills to notice and create ‘chance’ opportunities. They make prudent decisions using imagination as intuition. They create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations. They adopt a resilient logical attitude to transform so called bad luck into good. Dynamic personalities do not bother too much about luck… they create their own “luck”!

So often we pray for Good fortune to eclipse our Bad Luck…
But to BE BETTER at scripting our destiny, let’s hold on to pluck!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

OPPOSITE OF GRATITUDE

My Moral Science school text book contained the case of a school boy travelling in a bus. When the conductor came to collect his ticket fare, the lad was horrified to note that his money was missing. As he burst into tears, the kind-hearted bus conductor consoled him, “Stop crying, son… I shall pay for your fare of four rupees.” However, on receiving the ticket, the boy cribbed, “what about my change? I lost a fifty rupee note!”

The dictionary of antonyms lists ingratitude as the opposite of gratitude. Ingratitude is explained as “forgetfulness of or poor return for kindness received”. However, the above story reveals a worse fault than forgetfulness. Surely, the opposite of gratitude is our own selfish attitude of expectations and demands on others around us. We are so appropriated by our own self-centredness that we fail to realise our self-absorbed thanklessness is making us insensitive to the value of gratitude.

When we let our demands dominate our relationships, the result is ruinous. So often, we give up on relationships because we are unhappy with the time or the attention we receive. Relationships centered on expectations suck our emotional strength and drain our personal resources. Sometimes even the strongest commitment can’t counterbalance the depletion that our friends or loved ones may feel if we treat them like this.

Let’s learn to be thankful for what we receive in terms of helping hands. Let’s never measure the love and kindness that we get. We must look at what we receive, and not be seized by how much we receive.

Selfish thanklessness strains and ruins relationships…
Let’s BE BETTER at giving self-centeredness the skip!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

GRATITUDE

A Zen master’s school was in urgent need of repairs. A rich man generously donated five hundred ryo (gold pieces). However, after handing over the sack of gold, he was disappointed with the attitude of the teacher who did not thank him.

Slyly he hinted, "There are five hundred ryo in the sack". The master remained silent. "Even if I am wealthy, five hundred ryo is a lot of money," the rich man persisted. The master calmly asked, "Do you want me to thank you for it?" "Shouldn’t you?" queried the donor.

"Why should I?" retorted the master, "The giver should be thankful."

So often, when we give or share our riches, we hold on to the expectation of being thanked. In fact, appreciation as a prerequisite offsets even the most sincere of intentions and actions. It is a common human tendency and also the reason for grief and hurt when the receiver does not thank the giver.

To be better at ‘giving’ we must break the fetters of expectation. Otherwise our otherwise noble action will turn into a bartered transaction. Generosity should not be combined with commerce-like hope of appreciation. The inner joy that should naturally follow a good deed is stifled by an unfilled expectation of reciprocal thanks-giving. Let’s instead be grateful at the joy that comes out of unconditional giving.

To BE BETTER at the joyful-giving attitude…
Let go of the expectation of stated gratitude!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

MURPHY’S LAW

“If anything can go wrong, it will!" – Murphy’s Law

So often, when things go wrong, we use the crutches of what is popularly known as Murphy’s Law to justify unanticipated failure. Thus we shift the onus of responsibility from ourselves and condemn the fiasco to the vagaries of the unknown. Some call it fate, some call it bad luck and others may find a better word. But Murphy’s Law is really something else...

This modern theory is credited to Capt. Murphy, an engineer at Edwards Air Force Base in 1949. One day, on finding a wrongly wired transducer, he cursed the technician responsible by saying, "If there is any way to do it wrong, he'll find it." The project manager added it to his list of "laws" and called it Murphy's Law thus giving name to an ancient pessimism.

However, the articulation of the negative was put to positive use by the Air Force. In fact, they went on to describe their good safety record as due to a firm belief in Murphy's Law and in the necessity to try and circumvent it. Aerospace manufacturers picked it up and used it widely in their ads during the next few months, and soon it became part of modern metaphor.

Murphy’s Law is not about cynical logic about our perceived vulnerability. The law’s effectiveness is in first envisioning the most remote of possibilities for “things going wrong”, and taking remedial measures. While it is good to do the right things; to BE BETTER we must be able to anticipate what can go wrong. Doing so is termed risk analysis in planning parlance.

Murphy’s law inspires us to BE BETTER at the affirmative…
By the prediction and prevention of every possible negative!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

RETURN GIFT

A carpenter, who built timber houses, told his employer of his desire to retire. The contractor was sorry to see a good workman go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favour. The carpenter said yes, but it was obvious that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy work and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When he went to hand over the keys, his colleagues arranged for a small function. His boss recounted the carpenters’ commitment to his craft and announced an appropriate farewell gift to the carpenter. "You have built the finest of homes and you deserve one of the same," saying so he handed back the key of the latest house built by the carpenter.

Imagine the predicament! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the mediocre home that he himself had built so poorly. Ditto for us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to give lesser than our best effort to the task at hand. Then with a shock we look at the predicament that we ourselves have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized that our efforts were going to return to us as gifts, we would have done it differently.

We need to think of ourselves as the carpenter. Each time we hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall, we must give nothing but the best. It is said so well that "Life is a do-it-yourself project." Our life today is the result of our attitudes and choices in the past. Our life tomorrow will be the result of our attitudes and the choices we make today.

Never ever retire from wanting to BE BETTER
Things we do return as gifts… sooner or later!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

THE EXTRA MILE

‘And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness, still another mile’
- from the song ‘I have a dream’ by ABBA

Quite often, trekking greenhorns despair about the length of the route. The regulars use two convincing suggestions to motivate the tenderfoot: First, the disheartened are reminded about the worth of the endeavour, by describing the charms of the destination. Next is the time tested motivation, “we are close… it is just a few more miles”!

However, the real trekking buff’s auto suggestion for himself will be to keep going ‘yet another mile’. The enthusiast will not want to just cover the distance; he will want to go beyond the distance. The difference between ‘just one mile to go’ and ‘still another mile’ is exactly the distinction between a smaller, immediate goal and the larger destination of our dream…

In the real world, an important principle of success in all walks of life, in all professions and all undertakings is the compliance of "going the extra mile". Search as much as you will for a single sound argument against this principle and you will not find it, nor will you find a single instance of enduring success, which was not attained in part by its application.

So let’s quiz ourselves:
Do I do more than what I am expected to do?
Do I render a better service than that for what I am paid?
Do I walk the extra mile to my larger destination of my bigger dream?

May our destination be dreams that are truly worthwhile
to BE BETTER at every endeavour, let’s walk the extra mile…

- Pravin K. Sabnis

TEKISUI

A Zen master asked his young disciple to bring him a pail of water for his bath. The student brought the water and, after filling the bath bucket, threw on to the ground the little water that was left over. The master scolded him, “Why didn’t you give the rest of the water to the plants? What right have you to waste even one drop of water?” The young student attained Zen in that instant. He changed his name to Tekisui, which means a drop of water.

While the above moral would be apt for “save-water” campaigns, it holds within greater lessons for attitude towards resource management. We all know that it is the little drop of water that creates the ocean. Yet we tend to be wasteful and indiscriminate in our use of resources. We must learn to focus on waste reduction and alternate use.

We must recognize the significance of what may seem insignificant. Every drop of water counts. We must introspect and evaluate our attitude which is reflected in the way we use every resource… be it materials, be it energy or be it human resource... To be better at managing any and every resource, we must be careful to not be careless with any Tekisui!

The challenge is to live life less wastefully. The accountability is on us to look at the larger ownership of our world. Our rights to our resources come intertwined with the tag of responsibility. Ignoring the larger liability would result in nurturing our own peril. Let’s learn to deal with every Tekisui in a responsible manner.

We would BE BETTER if we do not waste…
any Tekisui at the altar of careless haste!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

SING A SONG

My friend, Nirmesh Tyagi had a childhood dream to be a singer. Since his family was connected with the Hindi film fraternity, his talent was noticed early. However, offers to get him trained were let by. Years later, Nirmesh is discovering his happiness by singing at family occasions and opportunities at events of the JCI organisation, to which we both belong.

It is interesting to note what Nirmesh does to be better at singing. He buys karaoke music and sings to the tune at home, his car and whenever and wherever he can. All this singing not only makes him better as a singer… it maintains him in a happy, proactive mood. And that is an important learning!

There is an artist, a singer, a dancer, a story teller in all of us. But quite often our potential is unfairly condemned under our own expectation of its worthiness before an audience. It is foolish to compare ourselves with professionals. More importantly, the best of singers get better not by comparing themselves with the singing greats. Rather they get inspired by their icons to connect to the joy that comes from singing.

Joe Raposo said it so well, “Sing out loud, Sing out strong… Sing, Sing a song, Make it simple, To last your whole life long, Don't worry that it's not good enough, For anyone else to hear, Sing, Sing a song.”

Singing, painting, writing, et al are personal experiences as well. They give us happiness, satisfaction and more significantly a sense of focus on a positive way of looking at things. Our entire mental make up will be better if and when we sing… with or without karaoke music! After all, audience applaud the singer who externalises his personal connect with the happiness of singing…

We would BE BETTER if we would sing…
‘cause singing is such an excellent thing!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

ROCK

For many years, a farmer had ploughed around a large rock in his field. He would curse the rock, every time he damaged his plough on it. Though he tried to be better at avoiding the rock, he managed to break yet another plough, one day. Remembering all the trouble the rock had caused him through the years, he finally decided to do something about it.

When he put the crowbar under the rock, he was surprised to discover that it was only about six inches thick and that he could break it up easily with a sledgehammer. As he was carting the pieces away he also carried the smile of realisation of how easy it would have been to get rid of that rock sooner… if he had only tried!

We know of how the stream defeats the rock with its persistence… how the drop hollows the rock with constant falling... how the stone cutter with determined chiselling gives shape to huge rocks. But, perseverance would never happen if one did not choose to try. And the reality is that most rocks in our route may not be as big or as tough as we imagine them to be. But we would only know when we try!

Most of the time, the hurdles in our path seem larger just because we dread the bigger obstacles. But, those who are seized by the passion, to overcome every obstacle, find that not all rocks in their course are overwhelming. Somebody who shirks from preliminary effort would find the simplest of tasks to seem overpowering. It is said well that “never give up until you try”…

The rock in our way may not be what it appears
Let’s BE BETTER at overcoming failure fears…

- Pravin K. Sabnis

CARRYING?

One of my favourite Zen Stories tells the tale of two monks travelling together. As usual, they walked in deep silence. They came across a shallow spring on the way. A lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash was standing there, obviously worried about spoiling her clothes while crossing the stream. One of the monks lifted her in his arms and carried her over the stream.

His companion was shocked with his colleague’s act of sacrilege. Yet, he maintained his silence until the night when they halted to rest. Now he could no longer restrain himself. “We monks have sworn not to touch women,” he burst out, “Yet how could you carry her?” The first monk replied peacefully, “I left that girl on the other side of the stream. It is you who still carries her in your mind!”

So often we hold on to thoughts that are irrelevant in the larger scope of the situation. So often we carry emotions which are nothing but a burden that weighs heavy on us. So often we hold on so tight to past experiences that we fail to understand that those very experiences hold us in a tighter vice that chokes progressive thinking. It seizes our mind and clouds our perspective.

It is said so well by someone, “forget learning… learn forgetting”. We need to let go the unnecessary if we want to move on in life. For every harvested crop of experience, we need to be better at sifting the grain of understanding from the chaff of misapprehension and misinterpretation. Let’s learn to let go of the superfluous and hold on to the more significant aspects of life.

To BE BETTER at moving ahead in life…
let’s let go of irrelevant thought-strife!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

VIEW WITH A ZOOM

In less than ten minutes, the 1977 short film "Powers of Ten" depicts the relative scale of things in the Universe using factors of ten. The film, made by Ray and Charles Eames, is an adaptation of the 1957 book Cosmic View by Kees Boeke.

It begins with a view from one meter above (100) of a man resting on a blanket. The camera then slowly zooms out to a view ten meters above (101) to show that the man is at a picnic in a park. The camera further pans to a view of 100 meters (102) to show that the picnic is taking place on Chicago's lakefront. Further on we see on the way the views of Lake Michigan, our earth, our solar system, the Milky Way… the zoom continuing to a view of 1024 meters - the size of the observable universe.

The camera then zooms back to the man's hand and moves on to zoom into views of negative powers of ten -10−1 m (10 centimeters), and so forth. The zoom moves the range from the surface of the skin to the inside right up to the proton in a carbon atom at 10−16 meter. The film thus travels two extreme extents of our universe.

However, the lessons from the film go beyond the attempt to understand the universe… they guide us on how to be better at understanding our situation. We need to travel the journey between the larger-picture and the smaller-picture to see ourselves and our situation from a perspective that moves from a wide-angle outlook to a deeper insight. It is only such perspectives that will help us comprehend the larger vision and the minute intricacies of the situation that surrounds us.

To BE BETTER at understanding our situation…
let’s learn to zoom to the powers of ten’s vision!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

UNDERSTANDING

Last Thursday, poetry films were screened at the International Centre, Goa. In the discussion that followed a couple of youngsters candidly expressed their inability to understand all the films. So often, so many of us believe that we do not possess the ability to “understand” works of creativity like poetry, paintings, films, plays, etc. And hence we find a ‘disconnect’ with creative arts, music, dance, politics, technology… the list can go on and on!

But do we ‘understand’ everything we indulge in? Let’s take the case of our major national craze – cricket! Most of us would not ‘understand’ the difference between a googly and a chinaman or between swing and reverse swing. The spectators of cricket or so many other sports enjoy the game for various other reasons like the excitement of competitiveness, the face-off between brute strength and skilful grace, etc.

Before we ‘understand’, we have to ‘experience’. Edison once stated that the thought of understanding comes from the two simple words under and stand. Hence it is necessary to undergo new experiences with an open mind and ‘stand’ within that experience for a sufficient period so as understanding to occur. The more we ‘stand under’ a happening, we will be better at comprehending the facets of that experience.

We were all born to ‘understand’ but we are conditioned to believe that ‘understanding’ is a talent that is belongs to a select few. As babies we could appreciate colour, shapes, sound and movements because we would approach everything with an open mind and an inquisitive approach. After all, for each of the things we understand over the years… the lesson is simple: we learnt to crawl, before we could walk and run.

‘Understanding’ is not a consequence of inborn aptitude…
We need to BE BETTER at keeping an open attitude!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

THE UNCERTAINTY OF DEATH

Some stories that we read in our childhood seem meaningful much later in life. One such story told the predicament of a young man seized by an existential dilemma. He felt life was futile since death was not in his control. He believed that anything initiated by him could be in vain if death were to make its uninvited appearance. He wondered in the wisdom of living under the sword of uncertainty of death.

Eventually, the young man decided to commit suicide. As he walked to the cliff (he intended to jump off) his mind’s eye began looking back at his life. He revisited his various experiences from childhood to the present. He still had not reached the cliff, so his mind moved to the future. He began visualising the reactions of people to his death. His imagination projected a common response, “Look, he has killed himself!”

The young man realised that his demise would be of his own choice, by his own method and at his own selected time and place. He immediately realised that he had a possible control over his death. The thought exposed him to a wider consciousness that the glorious uncertainties of life were more empowering than the destabilising uncertainty of death. He turned back from his tracks and moved on to take head-on the challenges of life… and death!

So often, we give up on doing things we like to do just because we are convinced of the certainty of failure. Surely this is similar to giving up on life, just because death is a certainty. It is necessary for us to understand that we can be the ones who fail ourselves. It is this succumbing to failure that must make way for steady resolve. Let’s not worry too much about failure or death and the uncertainties that surround them. We must connect to our passion and purpose in life.

It is on this very day that Bhagat Singh died at the age of 23. Alexander died at the age of 32 years. Mozart died at the age of 35. Swami Vivekananda died at the age of 39. Let’s learn from the many examples of people who were able to live worthwhile lives, despite dying young. Bhagat Singh wrote, “Jeena hai tho marna seekho yaaro”. (to live we need to learn to die)

Do not surrender to death before its coming…
Let’s BE BETTER at empowering our living!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

FORTE

The Marathi film, “Majhi Goshta” (My Story) was screened on last Friday at the International Centre, Goa. The film reveals the travails and the travel of a schizophrenic patient who gets timely help and guidance to discover his self-actualisation in music. The screening was followed by a discussion with acclaimed actor and psychiatrist, Dr Mohan Agashe.

During the discussion, a lady raised a very pertinent point… Films like Taare Zameen Par and Mhaji Goshta generally tend to show protagonists overcoming the handicaps of dyslexia and schizophrenia due to possessing talents like painting or music. She wondered whether this would convey rare exceptions as a rule and hence create a wrong impression in the minds of the audience.

In response to the query, Agashe chose to show another movie – a one-minute animation film made as part of a contest in Chennai. The movie showed a handicapped person being asked about his forte. The questioner was consistent in hurling his queries… Can you paint? Can you sing? Can you do something special? Each time the answer was a humble “no” till the person at the receiving end turned around and asked, “Can you (do any of the things you expect me to do)?”

Too often, we insist that our children, subordinates and others should be extraordinary personalities with gifted specialities. Looking around, we will notice that it is not the people with the best talents or techniques who make a huge difference, but it is the people with the right temperament. We need to be better (at inculcating in ourselves and encouraging in others) the real forte - the right attitude! And the right attitude is one that ensures a developmental approach rather than a judgemental one.

Do not fret and frown at the handicap of a lesser aptitude…
Genuine forte is to BE BETTER at empowering a noble attitude!

- Pravin

A PATCH OF HUMOUR

A woman had a below-knee amputation as a result of having diabetes and smoking all of her life. When she was regaining consciousness in the Recovery Unit, her doctor-son smiled at her and said ‘Well mum, how does it feel to have one leg in the grave?’ She laughed out loud. Till the day she died, she told that story to her friends and each time, she laughed again.

The son, Dr. Patch Adams is an inspirational icon who has changed the despair of his patients with his cheerful clowning! Convinced of the powerful connection between environment and health, he employed many creative ways in using humour to bring hope and healing to his patients... including dressing up like a clown and decorating the patient’s bed with colourfull balloons. Along with friends, Patch founded a model "happy" hospital – the Gesundheit Institute – where the pain of patients is treated with a patch of humour.

Humour helps because smiling and laughing triggers the secretions of morphine-like chemicals known as endorphins. Endorphins strengthen the immune system (responsible for fighting disease and enhancing recovery), reduce pain, and relax the body. Humour also works because it distracts people from their worries and pain and it restores perspective. Humour doesn’t alter the situation, but it helps you to cope with the pain.

Surely, we can learn from the example of Dr. Patch Adams. Surely we can “be better” at facing every despair with a genuine display of care and humour. Surely we can spread cheer and hope by lifting the spirits of those who seem to have succumbed to the situation. And of course, we must start with our own selves by seeing the positives in every problem that seizes us!

To BE BETTER at taking every hindrance head-on
We must choose to sing the positive humour song…

- Pravin

RAGE CONTROL

An ancient Zen story tells the tale of a young man who easily succumbed to the emotion of anger. The aftermath of his uncontrollable fury would leave him regretting his words, actions and behaviour. He wished to control his unruly rage and went seeking solution from a renowned Zen Master.

On meeting the Master, he complained: "Master, I have an ungovernable temper. How can I cure it?" The Master calmly replied, "You have something very strange. Can I see what you have?" The young man was stunned with the bizarre request. He replied, “But Master, I am not angry, right now… hence I cannot show it to you."

The master persisted, "so when can you show it to me?" The young man responded,
"My anger arises unexpectedly. I cannot say when it might seize me again…” Immediately, the wise man proclaimed, "then surely, it must not be your own true nature. If it were, you could show it to me at any time."

To BE BETTER at overcoming and managing the emotion of anger, we must first accept responsibility and then take control of our thoughts and behaviour. So often we delude ourselves by believing that negative behavioural traits are habits that cannot be overwhelmed. But we need to remind ourselves, that restraining rage is just like controlling any other destructive habit. Like other habits, we have acquired it… and like other habits it can be unlearnt.

It is we who picked up rage as just another regressive habit…
To BE BETTER at being in control, it is we who must drop it!
- Pravin

ULTIMATE GENEROSITY

The Sunday that went by was marked by a unique felicitation of Goan social activist, Ramesh Gawas. The excuse was the recent award he received from the President of India for his excellent services as a teacher. But the real reason was that his students, colleagues and friends wanted to put into practice the very lessons of social responsibility of Ramesh… The function was simple and humble (just like Ramesh) but the highlight was an ultimate act of generosity!

Generosity is a desirable habit. In times of natural disasters, we see relief being provided voluntarily by individuals or groups sharing gifts of time, money, labour and other resources. However, generosity should not be limited to times of great need such as natural disasters and extreme situations. Hence, donating blood is encouraged as an exercise, not only when needed, but also as blood banking.

Ramesh’s friends chose to initiate a commitment to the ultimate act of big-heartedness… Over 50 persons led by Ramesh signed up declarations to donate their bodies after death! They further resolved to create awareness about the worthy cause and widen the circle of influence to get more and more people to sign up for the mission born of the emotion of empathy.

Everyone would like to leave a legacy so that they are remembered after death. What act could be a better legacy then to help a blind person see the world, or help the need to transplant a heart, kidneys and other organs… especially, when the eyes, heart, kidney, liver are ours. We must connect and commit to this act of generosity that shall live even after our death…

Death shall not punctuate our ultimate act of generosity…
Our resolve of body donation shall BE BETTER for humanity!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

LAWN

The best of institutional edifices are enhanced by the relief of lush green lawns. A visitor to one such exciting creation was so impressed by the meticulously maintained lawns that he insisted on meeting the gardener who looked after the lawns.

When asked by the visitor of the secret behind the lawn, the wise gardener replied, 'The first part is difficult… levelling the land as per design, choosing and adding the right top soil, arranging the drainage and other things that are available in books. The second part is simple and easy… we need to just regularly mow the lawn, weed it and water it. Keep doing that and you get a lawn that continues to be like this.'

What is true for the lawn is true for every endeavour for excellence. So often, we give our best while creating something. We manage the difficult part but falter at the easy part. Well begun, it is said, is half done. But if we do not keep the consistency, our best start can be undone.

Consistency is the hall mark of the real achievers. For they keep working to maintain a positive attitude and approach to the things they start. They buttress their vision with a mind-set of mission and the ability to be both, dogged and diligent. Steadfastness holds the key to greater successes. Persistence is a value that ensures that we can BE BETTER at optimising a good start.

No lawn can remain beautiful without a gardener’s sense of mission…
To BE BETTER we must back initiative with dedicated determination!

- Pravin

THE BELL

Zen stories have been a big favourite with me. They highlight profound truth in very few words. One story tells of a new student seized by a sincere desire to learn. At the very first meeting with his master, he asked how he should prepare himself for his training. "Think of me a bell," the master explained. "Give me a soft tap, and you will get a tiny ping. Strike hard and you'll receive a loud, resounding peal."

Life is like that. To make the most of it, we must give it our all. We need to be unbridled in our attitude and make the most of every prospect that comes our way. Somebody said it so well, “If it is going to be, it is up to me.” So the next time, we see the bell of opportunity, let’s realise that it is the intensity of our strike that will decide the magnitude of the resonance.

To BE BETTER at striking the bell of potential expectation…
Let’s remember that it is we who control the reverberation!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

REMEMBERING

The film “Ghajini” delves into a case of anterograde amnesia. The memory of the hero is reduced to a recall of just fifteen minutes, following a violent attack by the killers of his girlfriend. To avenge the past as well as remember his present-day plan, the protagonist uses memory pegs in terms of Diaries, Polaroid photo-images, permanent tattoos on his torso, scribbled notes and memory alerts on his mobile. While the film takes creative liberty to tell its tale of fiction, it has a lesson for us…

Consider our own predicament. There are times when we are seized with a passion and a mission to respond to a challenging situation. It could be a brazen terrorist strike… or a shameful act of corruption… or the murder of humanity in a communal riot… or an exploit of exploitation… or a criminal lapse in governance! But, as time passes our noble intentions begin to detach from our consciousness… we suffer from memory loss of our own cause…

Righteous intentions need to be guarded against loss of focus… Like the protagonist in the film, we need to use memory pegs… We need to maintain diaries that account for what we are thinking, what we are doing and what we are going through… We must document our dreams and plans through notes, sketches, photographs, blogs, etc… We must surround ourselves with knowledge resources like books, quotations, vision and mission statements, and the like.

Amnesia patients may have no choice but to prop up their memory with methods and mechanisms… But for the rest of us, “remembering” is about making a choice… We can choose to remember what we believe in or we can choose to forget to walk our own talk…It is all about putting in the crucial extra effort to fasten our thoughts, plans and actions with the glue of a convergent memory…

To BE BETTER at remembering what we tend to forget…
Peg in extra effort today, lest the future be one of regret!

- Pravin