GRATITUDE

A Zen master’s school was in urgent need of repairs. A rich man generously donated five hundred ryo (gold pieces). However, after handing over the sack of gold, he was disappointed with the attitude of the teacher who did not thank him.

Slyly he hinted, "There are five hundred ryo in the sack". The master remained silent. "Even if I am wealthy, five hundred ryo is a lot of money," the rich man persisted. The master calmly asked, "Do you want me to thank you for it?" "Shouldn’t you?" queried the donor.

"Why should I?" retorted the master, "The giver should be thankful."

So often, when we give or share our riches, we hold on to the expectation of being thanked. In fact, appreciation as a prerequisite offsets even the most sincere of intentions and actions. It is a common human tendency and also the reason for grief and hurt when the receiver does not thank the giver.

To be better at ‘giving’ we must break the fetters of expectation. Otherwise our otherwise noble action will turn into a bartered transaction. Generosity should not be combined with commerce-like hope of appreciation. The inner joy that should naturally follow a good deed is stifled by an unfilled expectation of reciprocal thanks-giving. Let’s instead be grateful at the joy that comes out of unconditional giving.

To BE BETTER at the joyful-giving attitude…
Let go of the expectation of stated gratitude!

- Pravin K. Sabnis