Be Nervous

Over an amazing run of 24 years, Sachin Tendulkar was able to sustain success in the game of cricket. The reasons are many: focussed dedication, consistent discipline, well grounded humility, strong emotional support from his family... but it is pertinent to consider one more factor, spelled out by the little master himself: nervousness never left him.

Even after grabbing most world records for batting, Tendulkar was always edgy every time he walked up to bat. He has shared often about being anxious by saying, ‘I believe feeling nervous enables one to give his best. You can get nervous only when you care about something and I care about cricket!’

We tend to believe that those who are nervous are not prepared or are not confident enough. But we find even confident, well-prepared persons to be nervous. On the other hand, there are ones who are care-free even when ill-prepared. This is so because things don’t matter to them. When they will be working on things which really matter to them, they will be found nervous.

Nervousness is the indication of concern and care. Like Tendulkar was always nervous about playing well for his country, seasoned actors feel the shivers before their performance. Senior scientists are uneasy when the space satellite they developed is to be launched. Flourishing businessmen lose their sleep before the launch of a new product or service.

It is wrong to look down upon nervous people (including ourselves) and judge them (or us) just by it. It is part of our emotions to be nervous. While it is good to be confident, it would be better to be nervous such that we never turn complacent or lose exciting emotions. When we start off on something new, it is natural to be nervous. The query is whether we can hold on it, like Tendulkar did to the very end of his glorious career.

Tendulkar never let go of nervousness born out of care...

Let’s emulate him to BE BETTER with everything we dare!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Sing often

Last weekend, the Samraat Club Panaji organised its annual fellowship event – Deep Sandhya – the festival of lights being celebrated by the families of the members of the club. Glamour photographer and make-up artist, Sanjeev Salvi was orchestrated the entertainment using Karoake - a system of pre-recorded music accompaniment to songs whose words appear on a video screen.

Sanjeev was comfortable due to his competency to sing to the pre-recorded music. But the rest of us had inhibitions. We were not very comfortable syncing the words with the music that played. But as the evening progressed, the singing seemed liberated. Those who were scratchy during their first attempt seemed at ease while belting out a second song.

Very few children, who sing well in their childhood, retain their skill to sing, when they grow older. They stop singing for various reasons. Some lose the belief. Some lose the interest to develop the skill. Some sing in their minds. Some do not sing at all.

Many wrongly believe that singing is talent, when eventually it is a well honed skill that gets better by doing it again. Eventually it is to be seen whether all of us who discovered the potential of singing can develop it further by doing it often... After all, to be better at anything, we have to do it again and again!

There is an artist, a singer, a dancer, a story teller in all of us. But often our potential is unfairly condemned under our own expectation of its worthiness before an audience. It is foolish to compare ourselves with professionals. More importantly, the best of singers do not get better by comparing themselves with the singing greats. Rather they get inspired by their icons to keep singing.

to BE BETTER at the ability to sing…
doing it often is the right thing!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Beyond Sympathy

In 1993, just before Diwali, the Latur earthquake uprooted lives, families and homes. Many felt pity and sympathy for the affected people. Some joined the emotional response of donating money and material. But the most valuable lesson came from the families who chose to scale down Diwali celebrations to the bare minimum… as they would have if tragedy were to strike their own home. The money was instead spent for relief work.

Our ability to connect with another’s predicament can vary from insensitive indifference to sensitive sympathy. While sympathy is good, empathy is better! It is beyond sympathy. Pity is ‘feeling sorry’ for someone in trouble and in need of help. Sympathy is feeling compassion or concern for another, the wish to see them better off or happier. We may instinctively 'catch' the emotions that others are showing without necessarily recognizing this is happening.

Andre Gide queried aptly, ‘Are you then unable to recognize unless it has the same sound as yours?’ Empathy is about recognizing the ‘sound’ of another’s experience even if it is unlike any of ours. It is about putting oneself into the psychological frame of reference of another, so that the other person’s feelings, thinking and actions are understood.

However, empathy should not be an occasional emotion… unravelled only in times of great tragedy. We cuddle contradictions if we practise empathy as a response to ecological calamities while ignoring the fact that they are a result of man-made decisions that trigger the disaster. Hence, we must be better at hearing the ‘sound’ before the ‘noise’ happens. Real empathy is about consistency in our actions to be responsible and responsive human beings.

To BE BETTER at the response of empathy…
Let’s move beyond situational sympathy!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Hurdle

For many years, a farmer had to plough around a large rock in his field. He would curse the rock, every time he damaged his plough on it. Though he tried to be better at avoiding the rock, he ended up breaking yet another plough. Remembering all the trouble the hurdle had caused him through the years, he finally decided to do something about it. 

When he put the crowbar under the rock, he was surprised to discover that it was only about six inches thick and that he could break it up easily with a sledgehammer. As he was carting the pieces away he also carried the smile of realisation of how easy it would have been to get rid of that hurdle sooner… if he had only tried!

We know of how the stream defeats the rock with its persistence… how the drop hollows the rock with constant falling... how the stone cutter with determined chiselling gives shape to huge rocks. But, perseverance would never happen if one did not choose to try. And the reality is that most hurdles in our route may not be as big or as tough as we imagine them to be. But we would only know when we try! 

Most of the time, the hurdles in our path seem larger just because we dread the bigger obstacles. But, those who are seized by the passion, to overcome every obstacle, find that not all rocks in their course are overwhelming. Somebody who shirks from preliminary effort would find the simplest of tasks to seem overpowering. It is said well that ‘never give up until you try’…

The hurdle in our way may not be what it appears
Let’s BE BETTER at overcoming premature failure fears…

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Resourcefulness

Before the interview, the candidates were shown a salient audio visual about the organisation’s vision, mission and systems. Next came the announcement, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, the interview shall commence after a 30 minute recess. Till then, please have some soup.’ Everyone began to queue up at the serving table. Even those, who did not want the soup, chose not to be part of a slight.

The atmosphere was one of discipline… no pushes and shoves… smiles flashed around… everyone knew they were being watched and hence the best behaviour was out on display. Bowls were lifted with grace… prompt ‘thank-you’ uttered as the waiter poured the soup… Each moved ahead gracefully towards the awaiting additives… chilly sauce, vinegar, pepper, salt, etc.

The assessment was complete! Everyone who added without tasting and checking out whether the soup actually required add-ons were in hot soup as far as the interview was concerned 

Interviews are conducted to assess competencies and attitude. And in recent times, innovative situations are created to assess the reflexes and responses to find out who is better than the rest. The above case is an excellent example of testing attitude and approach to available resources. In the quest to assess who is better, the ones who fall aside are the ones who use resources without considering whether they are needed.

So often, so many of us use resources in an irresponsible and indiscriminate manner. We use resources less from the perspective of an assessed need and more from the mechanical habit of going through motions without thinking. To BE BETTER than the rest, we must ensure that our behaviour is based on situational thinking instead of perfunctory behaviour. Resourcefulness is a trait born out of conscious responsiveness that arises when the mechanical inclination is overcome.

Unlearn mechanical habits that land us in a mess...

To BE BETTER involve in responsive resourcefulness!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

SELF CENTEREDNESS

A young boy, while travelling in a bus, was horrified to find that the money in his pocket was missing. When the conductor came to collect his ticket fare, the lad burst into tears. The kind-hearted bus conductor consoled him, ‘Do not worry… I shall pay for your fare of eight rupees.’ However, on receiving the ticket, the boy cribbed, ‘what about my change? I lost a fifty rupee note!’

The glossary of antonyms lists ingratitude as the reverse of gratitude. It is described as ‘forgetfulness of or poor return for kindness received’. However, the above story reveals a worse fault than forgetfulness. It confirms that the opposite of gratitude is our own selfish attitude of expectations and demands on others around us.

We are so appropriated by our own self-centeredness that we fail to realise our self-absorbed thanklessness is making us insensitive to the value of gratitude. When we let our demands dominate our relationships, the result is ruinous. So often, we give up on relationships because we are unhappy with the time or the attention we receive.

Relationships centred on expectations suck our emotional strength and drain our personal resources. Sometimes even the strongest commitment can’t counterbalance the depletion that our friends or loved ones may feel if we treat them like this. In fact, insensitivity will diminish the relationship

Let’s learn to be thankful for what we receive in terms of helping hands, without insisting that the help be proportionate to our need. Let’s never measure the love and kindness that we get. We must look at what we receive, and not be seized by how much we receive. Self-centeredness needs to be eliminated for the true attitude of gratitude!

Insensitivity will strain and ruin the relationship…
BE BETTER at giving self-centeredness the skip!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Reflection

Every time when we look at ourselves in the mirror, what do we see as a reflection? Surely we see what we choose to see. If we see a glowing or a glum image it just reflects our dominant emotion at that time. It also reflects possibilities of positive transformations in our thoughts.

Surely what matters is not what is reflected but how we reflect on it! For instance, a bald person may go beyond acceptance of the situation to a confidence level that transforms it into a style statement. On the other hand, we notice the pathetic distress of those who cannot face a declining hairline. 

We need to reflect on ‘what is’ rather than ‘what is not’. It is all about reflecting on the outside reality with inner strength. And inner strength comes when we take ownership of our lives, of what we are and of what we have. But first, we must reflect by unlearning negative perceptions of what is good and what is bad. 

Transformations best happen inside out. Worries and fears disappear when we reflect on every situation with positive introspection. We need to be better at reflecting beyond the surface to connect to the beauty of the inner self. It is pertinent to note that when we change our outlook to our own predicament; we see the outer world too, in positive light. Positive thought (reflection) can overcome every mirrored perception (reflection).

Every mirrored perception needs thought reflection...
Let’s BE BETTER at boosting positive introspection!

- Pravin K. Sabnis