Circle

A young boy saw an old man draw a perfect circle on the sand. ‘Hey, old man, how did you draw such a perfect circle?’ asked the young one. The old man said, ‘I don’t know, I just tried, and tried again…here, you try.’ The old man gave the stick to the boy and walked away.

The boy began drawing circles in the sand. At first his circles came out too wide, or too long, or too crooked. But as time went by the circles began to look better and better. He kept trying and then, one bright morning, he drew a perfect circle into the sand. Then he heard a small voice behind him. ‘Hey old man, how did you draw such a perfect circle?’

This Zen story sketches the circle as a shape and symbol of perfection. The literal circle in the sand represents the essence and benefits of practice, while the narrative represents the circular nature of life.

So often, so many of us view success or perfection as a destination at the end of a straight line. We see ourselves at the beginning of the road, or the bottom of a peak and we can picture our endpoint clearly, glittering far away in the distance.

Such an approach often turns goals into an intimidating proposition, causing to lose the focus needed to be better at a skill. However, if we look at life as a circular path, a line without beginning or end, then we can learn to shift or focus away from the destination at the end of the road and towards the gently curving slope of the present moment. This makes the journey (to be better) a little less imposing!

Not a straight line, circles help turn around

Keep up the efforts to be better every round!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Empathy

Two friends walking along a river bank, stopped for a moment to gaze at the water.

One man exclaimed, ‘Look at those fish, how they’re enjoying themselves!’

‘You aren’t a fish to know if they’re having a good time!’ questioned his friend.

‘You aren’t me either,’ replied the first one, ‘So how would you know that I don’t know the fish are having fun?’

We must know that others’ perceptions are as valid as ours. We must think about that before jumping to conclusions. While one is using feeling, the other is using logic. The first guy ends up turning logical on the rebound. Two types of empathy are seen here.

There are three types of empathy: cognitive, emotional and compassionate. Cognitive empathy employs thought, rather than feeling which is emotional empathy. Compassionate empathy makes for the right balance between logic and emotion.

We can feel another person’s pain, as if it was happening to us. At the same time, we can also remain in control of our own emotions, and apply reason to the situation. This will help us make better decisions and provide appropriate support when and where it is necessary.

Feel the empathy… and reason it out too

The right blend makes compassion true!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Some more

Pedro was known for his oratory and was invited as keynote speaker at many gatherings. After one more impact speech, an elderly lady admonished him, ‘you spoke less… you should have spoken for some more time!’ Pedro smiled and said, ‘thank you!’

The lady was surprised, ‘young man, did you hear what I am trying to convey? You should have spoken more!’ Pedro reiterated his gratefulness. The lady was irritated, ‘I just made a critical suggestion!’ Pedro’s smile remained intact, ‘you gave me the best compliment that an orator can receive… thank you!’

Pedro was right. When the audience craves for more, it means that the orator has not overdone his speech. To make an impact, profusion is not needed. The intent should be conveying one’s presentation without stealing the time of the audience.

Thomas Jefferson wrote in a letter, ‘Amplification is the vice of modern oratory. It is an insult to an assembly of reasonable men, disgusting and revolting instead of persuading. Speeches measured by the hour, die with the hour!’

We must have the courage to leave out the unnecessary, even if they are brilliant lines. The primary purpose is to express. In the quest to impress, we tend to be long winded. We aim for the praise, ‘you spoke well’ but the true compliment is when it is said, ‘you should have spoken some more!’

Don’t speak more, lest the audience feels sore

True applause is when they ask for some more!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

No Failure

Pedro and his son were watching the historical moment, when the Vikram Lander of the Chandrayaan-2 lost its communication. The young boy was disheartened. Pedro consoled his son, ‘It is not a failure. We have to be proud of the efforts of our scientists. Efforts are important. Results are secondary!’

The tears of his son continued to flow. Pedro held him close and asked him to stop crying. The son spoke up, ‘these are tears of joy. I was worried of your reaction to my forthcoming the results… not anymore… I have a father who believes in efforts, not results!’

Indeed, our country’s forays into science have truly spurred interest in science and technology. But more importantly they teach us the biggest lesson in science that there are no failures, only lessons to be learnt from the preparation, the efforts and the outcomes even if not fully favourable.

In fact, science will not regard any setback as an abject failure. It does not easily accept closure. Even now, the scientists at ISRO are watchful. The lander location has been found, The orbiter part of the mission, with eight scientific instruments, remains operational and will continue its seven-year mission to study the Moon

The same lessons are applicable for all efforts in life. We must appreciate efforts and not lose heart with failure. We must choose to learn from the lessons that come from every setback. Failure is only when we give up. We can walk the way again or take another path… but we must move ahead.

Remember always that there is no failure

Efforts and focus should have no closure!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

After you

On the occasion of Ganesh Chaturthi, my friend was furious. He was upset with posts on social media requesting a reduction or nil use of fireworks and other pollutants. He kept playing the broken record, ‘what about festivals of other religions? Why don’t these bloody environmentalists speak up then?’

‘You are right!’, an inebriated passer-by joined the discussion. ‘All those bloody doctors are telling me to quit alcohol… I told them to tell the others first. Let the whole world first stop drinking. Don’t tell me to do it first! Tell them first!’

My friend got angry, ‘you are not in your senses… you have had too much of drink!’ The intoxicated one replied, ‘so are you… you have too much of victimhood!’ Playing adjudicator, I announced, ‘both of you have consumed contaminant!’

In etiquette, the phrase ‘after you’ (‘pehle aap’ in Hindi) displays courtesy. It is an attitude to politely urge another person to do something first... at the door, at the buffet table, at circumstances when both are in queue for the same purpose.

However, when the situation is of individual initiative it is irrational to insist on ‘after you’. Positive transformations happen when individuals step ahead by seizing onus instead of weltering in victimhood. It is said that ‘if it has to be, it starts with me.’

Victim mentality is when we consider ourselves as victims of negative actions of others. This position is used an excuse to insist that the ‘other’ should first ‘do’ the desired action. Such approaches of ‘after you’ are plain excuses at the best and devious escapism at the worst. We must take onus for our actions.

Unless in queue, quit the insistence of ‘after you’

Major transformations start with initiatives of few!

~ Pravin K Sabnis