Monday, June 16, 2014

Beyond Hearing

When she would return from her play school, my daughter had wonderful things to tell. No sooner she heard my question, ‘What happened at school today?’ she would begin to narrate the various incidents that occurred at school. I loved to hear about the new things she learnt, about her friends and the things that they did together.
One day, I was at home reading a book when she arrived home. I asked my regular question and she began to chatter away. I was hearing every word while reading a book. Suddenly she stopped speaking and started to make grumbling noises. I looked up from my book to ask her, ‘what upset you?’ She promptly replied, ‘you are not listening to me!’
I immediately denied her charge. To prove that I had heard everything she said, I began to repeat what I had heard. But she was unrelenting. She asserted, in the way only a young child can, ‘You were not looking at me! How can you listen if you are not looking at me?’
Listening is often confused with hearing. It requires us to move beyond hearing and proactively participate in the most important interpersonal skill! It requires the speaker to truly believe that the audience is listening. Paying obvious attention through right body language responses is very crucial. It also requires responsive feedback through apt questions, nodding, etc.
When we look at the listener, we receive communication beyond hearing. We notice expressed emotions and understand beyond the sound of words. More importantly, the one speaking is convinced that we are indeed listening and this encouragement ensures continuity in the communication. Looking and reading body language, giving feedback through responsive nodding and participating in the dialogue will indeed unite to impact our real listening.
Looking, responding and participating will aid listening...
These three ‘unite to impact’ to move us beyond hearing!
                              
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Goa, India.

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