When she would return from her play school, my
daughter had wonderful things to tell. No sooner she heard my question, ‘What
happened at school today?’ she would begin to narrate the various incidents
that occurred at school. I loved to hear about the new things she learnt, about
her friends and the things that they did together.
One day, I was at home reading a book when she
arrived home. I asked my regular question and she began to chatter away. I was
hearing every word while reading a book. Suddenly she stopped speaking and
started to make grumbling noises. I looked up from my book to ask her, ‘what upset
you?’ She promptly replied, ‘you are not listening to me!’
I immediately denied her charge. To prove that I had
heard everything she said, I began to repeat what I had heard. But she was
unrelenting. She asserted, in the way only a young child can, ‘You were not
looking at me! How can you listen if you are not looking at me?’
Listening is often
confused with hearing. It requires us to move beyond hearing and proactively participate
in the most important interpersonal skill! It requires the speaker to truly
believe that the audience is listening. Paying obvious attention through right
body language responses is very crucial. It also requires responsive feedback
through apt questions, nodding, etc.
When we look at the
listener, we receive communication beyond hearing. We notice expressed emotions
and understand beyond the sound of words. More importantly, the one speaking is
convinced that we are indeed listening and this encouragement ensures
continuity in the communication. Looking and reading body language, giving
feedback through responsive nodding and participating in the dialogue will
indeed unite to impact our real listening.
Looking, responding and participating
will aid listening...
These three ‘unite to impact’ to move us beyond
hearing!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Goa, India.
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