Gloves off

The term ‘gloves off’ rises from the image of removing the boxing gloves. With the gloves off, the rules no longer apply. The contestants stop being calm or civil. They begin to behave in a more hostile manner. The sport now turns into a fight without rules. The game gets vicious and violent.  

Indians are in the midst of a national election for representatives to the Parliament. We see politicians taking the ‘gloves off’. Parliamentary etiquettes are shed for fake posturing, character assassination and regressive abuse. Interestingly, the one who decries the violation of decency is often guilty of a similar misconduct.

It is pertinent to note that most supporters of different political parties are taking their ‘gloves off’ too. They are taking the fight outside the ring. The blows are not based on real issues. They are careless swings of aimless attacks that seek to fight rather than debate, condemn rather than convince, lynch rather than disagree.

Sports without ethics and dignity are crude, violent variations where might is right. It turns into a bloody battleground where the savage intention is to draw blood. We must recognise that such behaviour is stripping us of our humanity. To save ourselves, we must put the gloves back and get back into the sporting ring.

When everyone is with the gloves off, it becomes a crazy free for all. It leads to hurtful divisions that will lead to worsening of interpersonal relations and to our collective peril! We must choose to put back the gloves and fight by the rules within the parameters of the ring. To behave otherwise is dangerous for all.

Putting the gloves off is surely dangerous

Where humanity is on a brink precarious!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Argument

20 years ago, as participants at the National Train the Trainer Seminar of JCI India, S Kamal Kumar and me teamed up for a debate. One of us had to speak ‘for’ the topic and the other had to speak ‘against’ the premise. We were asked to argue on the topic - Non Vegetarian food is not good for human beings.

I asserted that our digestive system was meant for herbivorous intake. Besides, we did not possess the fangs and claws of carnivorous animals. Kamal Kumar argued that if we did not eat the sheep, their growing numbers would dislodge us from our homes. Hence for our survival we had to eat them and save our living space.

Our passionate arguments surprised everyone. Kamal Kumar was a vegan by belief while I enjoyed my fish and mutton delicacies. We were putting up arguments which were convincing but they did not reflect our actual beliefs and practices. We were debating not based on our perception but on the chosen conclusion.

An argument is a series of statements called the premises intended to determine the degree of truth of another statement, the conclusion. In today’s world, (especially on social media) we see violent debates because they employ a reverse process of declaring a conclusion and defending it with a closed mind.

Kamal and I treated the debate as a sport and worked together to bring up all pros and cons of the premise. While we seemed to disagree strongly, deep down we respected the choice and beliefs of each other. We were open-minded about the right of the other to differ even if we had strong convictions about our argument.

It is pertinent to note that the word ‘argument is derived from the Latin root ‘arguer’ which means to make bright and enlighten. Debates are wonderful exercises if they are done with an open mind. We may disagree but we should not become disagreeable. Our argument should be based on not just clarity but also scrutiny.

Arguments need more than conviction and clarity

Be open-minded and test the premise for scrutiny!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Flattery

Flattery is the business of giving excessive compliments. As in any business, there is the anticipation of barter. The expectation could be to ingratiate. It could be to create a positive impression. It could be to initiate a relationship. It could be to receive desired returns. It could also be out of unrestrained affection.

Appreciation is a good thing, as is praise and encouragement. But, flattery is excessive praise. More often than not it is an insincere admiration or a motivated stimulus begging for an expected response. Hence flattery can be often misleading and creates illusions that deceive.

However, it is pertinent to note that flattery is not just born out of the expectation of the one expressing it. So often, so many of us expect and desire to be flattered. So often so many of us are disappointed when we do not receive immediate praise. Especially on social media, such expectations are seen distinctly.

All these have led to the increase in the tribe of flatterers. They write lavish verse or effusive essays or gleaming posters to shower their flattery. And the recipients are happy to be flattered and eventually even be deceived. For the flatterer has a vested interest. And in the virtual world, people are more prone to detach from reality.

We must learn to differentiate between genuine appreciation and fake flattery. We must value candid feedback that may be critical. It is okay to feel nice with adulation but we should not be deceived by it. Like the chewing gum, while we may enjoy flattery, we must not swallow it. And like the chewing gum, it is not a good habit.

Those who shower you with flattery…

Craft an unreal screen that is illusory!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Persist

yaaro utho chalo bhaago daudo… marne se pahle jeena naa chhodo

(friends, get up, make a move… before your death, don’t give up on life)

-       song from the 1983 Hindi movie - Avtaar

The song is a call to persist on the path of life and not give up before the eventual end in death. In the film, the protagonist makes the motivational pitch to inmates of a home for elders who are homeless despite having families. It is an urge to be active instead of lamenting their hurtful predicament.

Life is about persisting until the end. Till the end is not upon us, it does not make sense to give up on life. The indefatigable do not allow life to be crushed. They do not allow an ambience of death when the body is still alive. They persist even when lifelessness sets in. They strive to revive and restore life.

My father loved to quote the famous line from the sport of cricket, ‘the game is not over till the last ball is bowled!’ Indeed, true players don’t give up before the game is over. In fact, they don’t give up even when the game is over. They know that there will be other games to redeem inherent actuality.

We have to rise up to every challenge that looms large. Even when things fail, it is never really over. We must lift ourselves and step ahead to display our willingness to live life to the fullest effort. Such resolves to persist can delay or even sometimes defer the eventuality of death. And even if it does not, it will be a life lived well!

Don’t give up or desist

Life is when we persist!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Simple Living

Goa has been engulfed with gloom after the passing away of the Chief Minister, Manohar Parrikar. The tributes have been flowing describing various qualities. It was pertinent to note that the foremost quality was endorsed even by his adversaries and critics… the feature of simple living!

Over the years, simple living became Parrikar’s trademark. His attire remained the same. The way he interacted with people did not change. His food habits and his personal lifestyle did not alter as he grew from one leadership position to another. And that is the most important lesson to learn from personalities like him.

Simple living includes voluntary practices to simplify one's lifestyle. Simple living may be characterized by individuals being satisfied with what they have. They do not aspire to change lifestyle as per their perceived improvement in their status. They do not wear masks that try to ‘fit in’ and become a different persona.  

There is the fresh breath of freedom without masks. It helps increase quality time for our relationships. Simple living ensures we remain true to ourselves. There is no reason to pretend to be somebody you are not. It empowers your self-esteem and controls the negative distraction of measuring up to expectations of others.

Simple living leads to being at peace with who we are and what we have. Such an attitude leads to being able to see the larger picture of our society and our world. Such perspectives lead to great thinking as we are at peace and can see wider and deeper. It is a wonderful choice to lead a life sans complications based on trying to become somebody else.

We must choose simple living

That will lead to high thinking

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Differently Abled

On Women’s Day, members of Samraat Club Panaji felicitated poet, author and artist, Frederika Menezes. Afterwards, someone voiced our collective sentiment, ‘It was such a great honour to meet a dynamic person like Frederika! I feel like I have received a huge gift… a gift of inspiration to happily face all odds’.

Indeed, Frederika is an inspiring personality. Though confined by constraints, she created many literary works - ‘The Portrait’ (poems), ‘The Pepperns and Wars of the Mind’ (fantasy novel) and ‘Stories in Rhyme’ (verse for children) and ‘Unforgotten’ (a love story for young adults). She is also an artist creating her paintings digitally.

Her poem, ‘The Different Normals’, features in the Class XI English textbook. She received Yuva Srujan Puraskar Award in Literature in 2016. Her first book received praise from President, Dr. Abdul Kalam. She recited her poem in the Goa Legislative Assembly. She is one of the Election Icons for Goa. All her achievements seem epic when one sees her attitude to rise above the constraints of being differently abled.

The term ‘Differently abled’ emphasizes the fact that many people with disabilities are quite capable of accomplishing a particular task or performing a particular function, only in a manner that is different from or takes more time than that of people without the disability. Eventually, ability is an offshoot of positive attitude.

So often, so many of us lament our limitations. We blame constraints for inabilities. Many years back, Monday Muse featured the inspirational story of Naseema Hurzuk who said the biggest challenge was to overcome the belief handicap. Inspirational icons like Frederika show us that we can overcome any hurdle if we pursue our ability, even if differently abled!  

No, none in our world can be called disabled

Yes, there are the inspiring differently-abled!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Rise

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

The above lines are from the first verse of ‘Still I rise’ - one of Maya Angelou's most popular poems. It brings along the imagery of a soaring bird. Its flight may arouse envy but such negativity will not stop it from rising. Even if pulled down and fettered, it will rise after freeing itself of the shackles.

The poem pulls up those who condemned the blacks as slaves. Though it has a defiant tone, it is also a beacon of optimism. It is an empowering expression of the struggle to overcome prejudice and discrimination. For those who understand the meaning of repeated wrongdoing, the poem becomes a motivational anthem.

The verse sends out a clear message of hopefulness. No matter the setback, there is always hope to cling on to. It inspires to lift your head against adversity. Hatred, injustice and greed cannot be killed but that must not stop you from rising and fighting. Even when crushed in the dirt, like dust one can rise.

We must not allow unfair setbacks to demotivate our progress. The right ones, even when wronged, must strive to set things right. The task may be huge, but the wrong will be first undone by the hope-empowered belief to keep doing everything necessary to eventually rise!

Rise with belief in hope…

Unknot the fettered rope!

~ Pravin K Sabnis