Gifting

O. Henry’s short story, ‘The Gift of the Magi’ is about a young couple dealing with the test of buying secret Christmas gifts for each other with very little money. The wife sells her long tresses to a hairdresser to buy a chain for her husband’s pocket watch. Her husband sells his watch to buy a set of combs for his wife’s lovely hair.

The writer ends the story saying, ‘… two foolish children who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures... let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest… They are the magi.’

The greatest gifts are the ones you treasure the most. They are things that are valuable to you yet you don’t mind giving them up for getting gifts for the ones you love. And the greatest gifting is when we can give up our favourite things so that we can give others what they would be happy to have.

Gifting is not just about the price of the gift. It is about the price that the giver is ready to pay. And the greatest price to pay is to selflessly lose what is valuable to you. The couple in the story are left with gifts that neither can use, but they realize how far they are willing to go to show their love for each other.

Gifting can be plain sharing where we share the surplus that we possess. But gifting gets lofty when we are ready to forgo, our smaller or greater treasures, so that we are able to arrange gifts for others. These are not mere sacrifices but choices that reflect real love. And such conscious costs make for the greatest of gifting!

Gifting gets greater when valuables we let go
To make possible for our true love to show!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Measure of Memories

Memories of a friend begin to fill my mind

in spaces where we met, I seek him to find...
But, I cannot find or meet him anymore
as before his time, my friend had to go!

Two are needed to hold a relationship rope
when one lets go, the other seems sans hope!

But we can refuse to let go and find a way

To keep our friend alive by our actions today!

We must move beyond sorrow and pain...
and learn from the measure of grain!

When the measure overflows it is a clue

that someone has made add-ons new!  

The memory measure needs moments anew
It will surely overflow even if add-ons are few...
The things he loved to do, we must do again
Instead of grieving loss, let's add to the gain!

Recreating moments will carry on the show

as we build on a memory of joy not woe

And when the memory measure overflows...
it will make us feel that he did not really go!

May the effort be followed by another one
by doing the things he would have done…

Let’s move beyond the wistful memory rim

And fill them with positives beyond the brim!

May newer memories overflow the measure

as a tribute to the one who was a treasure…

The ‘measure of memories’, it is found to be true
is ‘memories without measure’ in add-ons we do! 

(it is an year since my friend, Ravi Shirsat passed away on 16 December 2016... he (& his wife Poonam) had gifted me an 'overflowing measure of grain' to wish me abundance... this muse is a resolve to make my 'measure of memories of Ravi' overflow)



~ Pravin Sabnis

Dislike

As a child, I loved most of what my mother cooked. One of the dislikes was the idli. I would immediately gulp down a couple of the rice cakes, since my mother had a stern rule that we had to eat the first offering of all food, even if we disliked it. I would ensure that the unpleasant experience was over at the earliest.

However, this strategy would boomerang at homes of other people. Seeing me consume the idlis in quick time, they would think I loved them and they would drop more idlis in my plate. Hence, I had to change my approach. I would put small pieces of the idli in my mouth and chew slowly to stretch the time. Interestingly, this made me indulge in the taste and eventually I developed a liking for the idli.

My dislike for the idlis was due to wrong perceptions rather than real experience of taste. In fact, our likes as well as dislikes may be inferences born of perceptions or even interpretation of real experiences. People who love chicken or vegetarian Manchurian may enjoy it without really getting the taste of what’s inside.

To truly soak in the experience, we must soak in it. We must give it time to familiarise with facets that unravel only with deeper application of our senses. We need to consider whether our dislikes are mere inferences from erroneous perceptions made in a hurry. We have to find ways to escape hurried perceptions and experience the same with an open mind.

Stop playing hostage to hurried opinion…
Dislikes may be mere errors of perception!

~ Pravin Sabnis