Strokes

My favourite trainer, Fredrick Tucker would often narrate the story of an abandoned baby that was wasting away in a hospital… it was not responding to treatment and the doctors were forced to enter its condition as ‘hopeless’ on the examination charts. They had given up hope that the baby would survive.

As a last resort, a doctor who had uncommon success in dealing with sick children, for whom everything else had failed, was called in. He wrote on the child's chart – ‘put the baby’s cradle next to the hospital entrance. Put up a large sign requesting people to hold the baby and play with it for a few minutes before moving on.’

The instructions were immediately complied with. The method was ancient, but very effective. The magic formula took effect and the child began to prosper as visitors began to speak to and fondle the baby… the positive strokes healed the little baby that was suffering from a highly common human disease of indifference.


A stroke is a unit of recognition, when one person recognizes another person either verbally or non-verbally. Eric Berne introduced the idea of strokes into Transactional Analysis based upon the work of Rene Spitz, a researcher who observed that infants deprived of handling – in other words, not receiving any strokes – were more prone to emotional and physical difficulties.

Adults need physical contact just like infants, but have learned to substitute other types of recognition instead of physical stimulation. So while an infant needs cuddling, an adult craves a smile, a wink, a hand gesture, or other form of recognition. Berne defined the term ‘recognition-hunger’.

It is pertinent to note that ‘any stroke is better than no stroke at all.’ Hence we must choose to pass on strokes that encourage or reprimand… that motivate or instigate… that are positive or negative… but we must engage… we must keep in touch through strokes that ensure that terminal indifference does not set in.


Shun indifference, touch every bloke…
through a positive recognition stroke!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Worthiness

The demonetisation initiative of the Government created immediate difficulties for people who did not have usable currency or debit/credit cards. However excessive panic was triggered by propaganda that notes of the denomination of Rs. 500/- and Rs 1000/- were rendered worthless paper.

The reality was that the notes were not worthless… they had to be exchanged with new currency. Bankers worked for extra hours to facilitate this exchange but there was bound to be discomfort and distress for a few days. It was pertinent to note that no honest citizen was going to lose the value of his hard earned money.

Obviously crooks would cook up ingenious remedies to retain their unaccounted wealth. Many from this very tribe kept repeating the rumour that the notes in hand had no value. Some used it to support, some used it to oppose the move to demonetise. All that was needed was a simple exchange to retain the same value!


That which has intrinsic worth will not lose its value if appropriate steps are taken to align with newer dimensions of worthiness in changed circumstances. It is significant to note that the value of the currency will not reduce as long as we follow the legal procedure to retain the stated worth.

Similarly, as persons our personal worth is retained by ensuring that our values do not change with the situation. If our values our intact, then our character will be worthy. If our character is worthy, our worth will never be victim to the vagaries of time or situation as long as we make ethical changes. Personal worthiness is a value we can retain even when circumstances vacillate.

Change is a must when circumstances falter…
Retain worthiness by choosing to ethically alter!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Lethargy

A pet dog’s late night howling woke up his owner and his wife. When the dog’s laments continued, the wife asked her husband to go out and see the reason for the dog’s distress. The man pleaded helplessness, ‘I’m too tired to move’.

The howling continued and again the wife begged the husband to go and see what was troubling the dog. Again he gave the same answer, ‘I’m too tired to move’.

Eventually the wife went out into the night and the howling stopped. When the wife returned, the man asked, ‘What was wrong with that stupid dog?’ ‘He was lying on a thorn bush’ said the woman ‘He was just too tired to move’.

So often, so many of us are like the dog – people who would rather howl and complain rather than change their position? So often, so many of us are like the man – people who would rather suffer and wait for someone else to solve their problems instead of doing it themselves. The excuse masquerading as a reason is that we are too tired to move.

Lethargy is a matter of choice not a product of circumstance. Rather than be stuck in an apathetic attitude, we must choose to step out of inactiveness. We must claim ownership of every predicament that surrounds us and respond aptly and promptly.

Shun the lazy excuse of being too tired to move...
Let go of lethargy, choose the proactive groove!

- Pravin K. Sabnis