A Zen story unfolds the exchange between three students who are insisting their master is better than others in terms of self-control. The first one declares, ‘my master can stay for days without eating.’ The second one proclaims, ‘my master is greater… he can stay for weeks without sleep.’ The third calmly stated, ‘my teacher is the best at self-control… he eats when he’s hungry and sleeps when he is tired.’
Like all Zen stories, it holds many lessons… however the most pertinent point is that self-control is not about forceful abstinence but it is about wilful moderation. It is about doing things when needed. It is about doing things at the right time. It is about doing things for the right reason. It is about doing it for the ones that matter.
Let us consider an analogy: three friends speaking about the space in their relationships. One brags, ‘I can stay for days without speaking with my kith and kin.’ The second boasts, ‘I can stay for weeks without meeting them.’ The third wisely states, ‘ I strive to speak to them when I remember them and make efforts to meet them when I miss them.’
So often, so many of us choose to forego our needs… not just the basic ones but the higher ones as well. We must choose to do a little of everything we need to. We must choose to reclaim relationships that have withered with time. We must choose to reconnect with our passion by doing the things that make us happy: hobbies, dreams, discoveries and something new!
Self-control is about doing all the things that matter. Self-control is about doing them regularly in small doses, not in occasional large doses. Self-control is about moderation and walking the middle path between the extremes of over-indulgence and obsessive abstinence.
Between indulgence and abstinence is a middle way
Self-control is doing a little of everything, every day!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Like all Zen stories, it holds many lessons… however the most pertinent point is that self-control is not about forceful abstinence but it is about wilful moderation. It is about doing things when needed. It is about doing things at the right time. It is about doing things for the right reason. It is about doing it for the ones that matter.
Let us consider an analogy: three friends speaking about the space in their relationships. One brags, ‘I can stay for days without speaking with my kith and kin.’ The second boasts, ‘I can stay for weeks without meeting them.’ The third wisely states, ‘ I strive to speak to them when I remember them and make efforts to meet them when I miss them.’
So often, so many of us choose to forego our needs… not just the basic ones but the higher ones as well. We must choose to do a little of everything we need to. We must choose to reclaim relationships that have withered with time. We must choose to reconnect with our passion by doing the things that make us happy: hobbies, dreams, discoveries and something new!
Self-control is about doing all the things that matter. Self-control is about doing them regularly in small doses, not in occasional large doses. Self-control is about moderation and walking the middle path between the extremes of over-indulgence and obsessive abstinence.
Between indulgence and abstinence is a middle way
Self-control is doing a little of everything, every day!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
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