Beyond Hearing

When she would return from her play school, my daughter had wonderful things to tell. No sooner she heard my question, ‘What happened at school today?’ she would begin to narrate the various incidents that occurred at school. I loved to hear about the new things she learnt, about her friends and the things that they did together.

One day, I was at home reading a book when she arrived home. I asked my regular question and she began to chatter away. I was hearing every word while reading a book. Suddenly she stopped speaking and started to make grumbling noises. I looked up from my book to ask her, ‘what upset you?’ She promptly replied, ‘you are not listening to me!’

I immediately denied her charge. To prove that I had heard everything she said, I began to repeat what I had heard. But she was unrelenting. She asserted, in the way only a young child can, ‘You were not looking at me! How can you listen if you are not looking at me?’

Listening is often confused with hearing. It requires us to move beyond hearing and proactively participate in the most important interpersonal skill! It requires the speaker to truly believe that the audience is listening. Paying obvious attention through right body language responses is very crucial. It also requires responsive feedback through apt questions, nodding, etc.

When we look at the listener, we receive communication beyond hearing. We notice expressed emotions and understand beyond the sound of words. More importantly, the one speaking is convinced that we are indeed listening and this encouragement ensures continuity in the communication. Looking and reading body language, giving feedback through responsive nodding and participating in the dialogue will indeed unite to impact our real listening.

Looking, responding and participating will aid listening...

These three ‘unite to impact’ to move us beyond hearing!

                              

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Pass-it-on

Our world, bursting with technology, is full of well meaning people who pass on messages. Last month, I received a request to help blind students to write their exams. The contact number of the person to be contacted was posted as well. The message turned into a ripple effect as the receivers united to impact the consciousness of the community by forwarding it to all in their list.

However, calls to the number drew a blank. Obviously, all the well meaning citizens had not bothered to call the number and confirm the validity of the message. In their hurry to be the first at spreading a good message, they had ignored the basics of confirming whether the message was real.

So often, so many of us use sms and emails to forward what seems interesting, important or intriguing. So often, our intentions might be sincere but woefully incomplete when we fail to confirm the truth and facts. On the contrary, our intentions are exposed as superficial and extraneous.

Worse, consider those who play the pass-it-on game with hate messages. Masks of indignation are so easily worn by those who casually try to unite the impact of messages that come their way. These careless forwards result in fear manipulation that allows anti-socials to run amok. The pass-it-on chain regressively unites negativity to deadly impact.

Before we unite to impact, we must be clear about being positively convinced ourselves. Passing information is a good thing. However, we must first confirm for ourselves whether the details are valid. If not, we are just careless persons pretending to be conscientious. And when we forward hate messages that eventually raze humanity, we are not just careless… we are criminals!

Before you pass-it-on confirm facts and repercussion...

 ‘Unite to impact’ only after total personal conviction!

                              

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Information

Imagine you are driving with your team in a bus. There you are travelling for hours and every now and then pops the question, ‘have we reached?’ It seems strange but is common occurrence. All are in the same bus, travelling the same road, going to the same destination? Yet the query, ‘Have we reached?’

When we hold information close to the heart, we end up carrying the enormous load all by ourselves. But if we share that information, then everyone can put in their little bit towards achieving it. In fact it is pertinent to move beyond just sharing the information. We must ensure that those in our team with whom we share the information with, also share the same convictions and have the same purposes.

There is nothing more powerful than an entire team pulling in the same direction, dreaming the same dreams and striving towards the same goals. Great leaders unite, among their team members, what can be termed a information package that combines vision, conviction and mission in terms of action plan. They use persuasive skills to sell the package. Some team members need to be inspired or some might simply need more information.

The leader has access to more information than the rest and this must be shared prudently. Throwing all available data at everyone is not helpful. The leader must filter the information before passing it on. Timing the sharing is also important. The team might not need to know all the details in one go. This might confuse their priorities and make some people collapse as they see the hurdles, real and imagined, looming before them.

How to share information is also vital. Sometimes, it is better to talk upfront. Other times, it is better not to talk face-to-face. Whichever way, sharing the information is an important task. More important is to ensure that the sharing also results in a buy-in by the team members. It is hard to move the carriage forward if all the horses are pulling in different directions.

Share vision, conviction and path of mission...

 ‘Unite to impact’ teams with information!

                              

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.