ICEBREAKER

Once, at the end of a 3-day Leadership Camp for college students, a girl discussed her predicament with me. The workshop had kindled in her many new desires: to act in a street play, to go on a nature trail, to join a green club… HOWEVER, she was ‘sure’ that her mother would not permit her to do any of these.

When I advised her to speak about her passion to her mother, she replied, ‘my mother is not the listening type. It is she who does the talking and I do the listening… her ‘do’s and don’ts’ cannot be challenged! When I find it difficult to talk to my mother; how can I convince her to grant my wishes? What do I do?’

I suggested, ‘Every time you see your mother, hug her, smother her with your love. Be ready for the ‘side effects’: she will get angry, irritated; she may push you away and ask you to quit childish behaviour… Do it at least five times a day. You shall see the results within a week’.

Three days later, came her call, ‘Pravinda, it works! My mother has now become my friend. In fact she wants to join me on a trek, something she always wanted to do… I am on the top of the world’. I cautioned her, ‘If the prescription is not used regularly, the effects may disappear.’

Talk happens best when the bonds of the relationship are frost-free! Frostiness easily sets in relationships which become stagnant due to a communication gap. Relationship bonds are better revived through the icebreaker technique of reaching out through personal touch.  Every act of caring, every word of affection helps bridge the distance between minds and hearts. 

We do use the icebreaker technique when starting out on new relationships, but ignore it in existing relationships. With time, we take things for granted and presume that icebreaking is not required for our close relationships. The ice that freezes interpersonal communication is the result of the switching off of the emotional connectors. This ice must be broken through acts that touch the heart.

The gulf between hearts can be bridged by acts of care…

Let’s BE BETTER at breaking the ice that makes talk rare!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Mumbai, India.