John Lee identified six basic styles of love that people use in their interpersonal relationships: Eros (romantic love), Ludus (love as a game or sport), Storge (friendship), Pragma (love driven by head, not heart), Mania (obsession) and Agape (selfless altruistic love). Agape is akin to caritas (charity) where the gift of love is sans any expectation.
Every 14th February, across the globe, the emotions of love are out on display. Flowers and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. The immensely popular Valentine's Day greeting cards have turned into a highly profitable industry. Some go on to celebrate other occasions, like birthdays, anniversaries, etc, to display their true love to their loved ones. But more often than not, Ludus and Pragma overrule Eros & Storge and Agape is at sea.
It is pertinent to note what happens on “non-occasion” days. It is back to “routine” for most… a routine that is mechanical and impersonal… a routine that finds little time to see, speak or listen to our loved ones… a routine that plays blind, deaf and dumb! Invariably we presuppose our loved ones and hence, we take them for granted. In the fast moving world, the expression of love has become a circumstantial commodity whose display is dictated only by occasions.
To be better at love, we must move from need-love to gift-love. The spirit of agape cannot be an occasional emotion. We must share quality time with the ones we claim to care about. It is about enquiring and listening to our loved ones rather than supposing and speaking. It is about wishing people with a smile in the morning, evening, night… every time we meet them (we are more likely to wish a stranger more often than one’s spouse or child).
The measure of love is to love without measure
Indulge in agape and as a human be better!
yours-in-agape
Pravin-da
No comments:
Post a Comment