LET’S TALK!

Last week, at a public interaction at the Xavier Centre for Historical Research, Remo Fernandes put forth his views on various subjects. Goa’s leading music maker was articulate and candid. He chose to look at various concerns from the perspective of introspection… by looking inwards. One of the issues he dwelled upon was the collapse of intrapersonal communication.

Remo cited his own example to explain how divergence in view points with his father did not result in a disconnection in their relationship. As a teenager, Remo was a rebel… a non-conformist… keeping away from Church, growing his hair, trying out all things frowned upon… Nevertheless, he would talk across the table to his father about what he did and why he did it. They would have massive disagreements and fights. Remo stated that it was dialogue that sustained the bond between them, never mind the tension created by the conflicts.

Problems that are kept hidden don’t heal… they fester. Too often, we steer clear of discussion when we know that it will result in confrontation. Actually, this crisis of confidence in our relationships is seen to directly increase with the nature of intimacy. Which means it is easier for us to be honest in our interactions with a relative stranger than with a close relative. But then, every communication is about sharing personal perspectives… individual dimensions of the situation.

If two people share two different dimensions, both are exposed to two diverge aspects. They may not become agreeable, but knowing the other person’s viewpoint helps sustain the relationship. And more often than not, the persons involved develop new dimensions to their association. Every time, I argue and fight with my wife, mother, daughter or friend, I get to learn about, not only, their viewpoints but also discover other dimensions to their thinking… and the same hold true for them, too!

Don’t you shy away from the conflicts concealed in communication
Speak your mind and listen as well, to “develop new dimensions”!

regards Pravin