Connections

Robinson Crusoe was stranded on a deserted island, isolated from the world. His life took a turn with the arrival of Friday, a native he rescued from cannibals.

Friday wasn't just an aide; he became Crusoe's companion, teacher and more. Through their friendship, Crusoe learned survival skills, cultural exchange and the essence of human connection.

Friday's presence humanized the island, turning it from a prison into a shared journey. Their bond showcases the power of companionship in overcoming adversity.

Humans beings are wired for connection. It is a fundamental need. Real connections are built on empathy, vulnerability and genuine interactions.

Empathy lets us understand others' feelings, creating a bond. Vulnerability fosters trust, allowing people to open up and deepen relationships. Genuine interactions, like active listening and authentic communication, strengthen these bonds.

These connections impact mental health, happiness, and even physical well-being. They make life richer and more meaningful. We must choose to retain old connections and make new ones, too!

Reach out to strengthen your human connections

Let the need turn into a want, full of dedication

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Meaning in Life

In the 1940s, Viktor Frankl was held captive in a Nazi concentration camp. His family, friends, and neighbours were captured too. Viktor lived the horror of losing everything to torture and terror. Despite the brutality, he never gave up his relentless fight for life.

He found meaning in his struggle, and that gave him the power to push ahead through unimaginable pain. After escaping, Viktor wrote a book called ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’, which chronicled his experiences. 

A quote by Nietzsche sums up his philosophy on how people were able to survive the camps, without losing the will to live: ‘He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.’ Our reactions are not solely the result of the conditions of our life. They also arise from the freedom of choice we always have even in severe suffering.

Viktor wrote, ‘In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.’ But he cautioned ‘of getting stuck in suffering mode and mistaking it for nobility.’ He wrote, ‘Suffering unnecessarily is masochistic rather than heroic.’

Viktor underlined the power of purpose. Purpose is what gives us the strength to carry on, if not through dire conditions, then through difficult changes, transitions, relationships, and activities. Viktor concluded from his experience that the meaning of life is found in every moment of living; life never ceases to have meaning, even in suffering and death.

Bhagat Singh died at the age of 23. Alexander died at the age of 32 years. Mozart died at the age of 35. Swami Vivekananda died at the age of 39. They were able to live worthwhile lives, despite dying young because they were able to find and fulfil meaning in life. Robert Byrne has said it so well: ‘The purpose of life is a life of purpose’

Let’s find meaning in life and live it now

Live life with meaning before the final bow!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

 

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Overthinking

 So often, so many of us believe that the more we think about something, the better our decision will be. We ponder a decision for hours or even days. We keep pursing the identification of multiple options.

However, research has shown that over-thinking a dilemma can actually result in a poorer decision. Of course, this is not to campaign for a spur-of-the-moment whimsical resolution.

We must use the process of unconscious thought... we give the problem time to be mulled over in the back of our mind, yet do not actively think about it. In situations involving complex decisions, unconscious thought is found to outperform the more logical and analytical counterpart.

We must avoid wasting too much time going over the same points again and again in our heads. Instead, we must bring key issues to mind, and then relax and give ourselves some time to absorb it. 

Many of us do this already - we are often reluctant to rush into a decision before ‘sleeping on it’ - however we also waste a lot of time agonizing over the pros and cons.

Our unconscious mind is better equipped to connect varied considerations, implications and solutions. However, we tend to consciously dig up a wealth of options and often lose focus from identifying practical solutions. We must remember the famous maxim – ‘too much of analysis causes paralysis’!

Over-thinking can create a paralysis...

The unconscious can do better analysis!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

 

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Make it large

A young man approached a Zen master to find solution to his unhappiness.  The sage told him to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then drink it. The young man immediately spat it out.

The sage then asked him to take another handful of salt and put it in a lake and told him to drink the water. The young man did not find it repulsive now.

The teacher said: ‘the pain of life is akin to salt. But the intensity we taste as 'pain' depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things... Stop being a small glass, become a large lake!’

So often, so many of us find ourselves in pain or hurt or failure. We feel let down by a person or the situation. We cast ourselves as victims as our unhappiness arises from a feeling of futility. And since we see the situation through a narrow cone, the intensity of the hurting gets magnified.

Now, imagine seeing that person or that situation from a perspective of a longer timeline. We may be playing blind to the larger picture and focussing only on the exception. It is pertinent to note that a timeline dilutes the intensity of pain. Similarly when we see a singular negative experience in context of a larger set of experiences, our interpretation tends to alter.

We must allow every emotion to move beyond victimhood reactions. We must see every person, every action and every situation from the larger perspective of a longer timeline. This is not to dilute the reality of the person or the action or the situation; but it will certainly dilute the intensity of pain and empower our response to cope with that person or that action or that situation.

Make it large... a perspective that’s sane...

The lake, not the glass, will ease the pain!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Ink it

Don't just think it. Ink it! - Mark Victor Hansen

The best way to see our thoughts is to write them down. When we ‘ink’ our thoughts, they come in sight in a greater visual perspective. We can add or detract effortlessly. We can change or develop them better. 

We can reorganise and rearrange the thoughts. We can create strategies. We can define purposes. We can outline plans of action.

Besides pen, we can use pencils or colours. We can use chalk on slate. We can inscribe on sand with a stick. We can scribble on a wet surface. 

We can use twigs and sticks to make various formations. We can shape out or carve in clay. We can write on touchscreens.

When we ‘ink it’ we are better placed for immediate exertion as well as a recall tool for the future. When we face our own thoughts, we see them for what they really are.

The thought in our mind needs exposure

‘Ink it’ for deeper insights and disclosure!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Waste to Worth

In the early 1950s, loads of waste was left over when Chandigarh, designed by Le Corbusier, was built up. A road inspector had a vision of creating art out of the bits and pieces of the litter dump around the city. He created a fantasy, which he called the Rock Garden.

 

Passages of rock and concrete open out into spaces with human figures studded with tiles and marble. Walls are studded with broken tiles, bathroom fixtures, old crockery and switchgear. Discarded water pots form fences. 

Whimsy birds fashioned of concrete sit on the roof of a little hut. A waterfall cascades over an open-air theatre paved with broken slate. Turquoise bangles make peacocks. An upturned enamel basin serves as a soldier’s hat!

 

The Rock Garden is a legacy that will live even though its creator, Nek Chand Saini is no more! He was honoured across the world for his work. India conferred the Padma Shri, France awarded Grande Medaille de Vermeil. His achievement is spectacular as he had no formal training in the art of sculpture. 

 

While beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, some draw out this beauty from what seems to be useless and allow others to see it as well. Nek Chand’s fantasy teaches us that nothing is really waste… and that everything can be turned into a piece of art… when positive vision is backed with proactive action.

 

What seems waste can have great worth,
Positive returns await a proactive effort!

 

~ Pravin K Sabnis

 

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EATING

We need to take an honest look at our eating habits to understand and make changes if required. We cannot change what we do not accept. The change will begin with observation and acceptance. There are broadly four types of eating. 

 

Fuel Eating is when we eat foods that support our body and its needs.  This is a good habit of eating real, whole, natural, minimally processed foods that provide us with energy and nourishment and feel good in our body. 

 

Fun Eating is eating foods that we love but do not give much back.  These taste great but don’t offer any real nutritional value, like cake, potato chips, candy, etc.).  We must eat them on a fewer occasions just for the joy they bring.

 

Fog Eating is anytime you eat without awareness, like eating while watching tv or the mobile.  It is neither enjoyable nor purposeful; it’s an unconscious activity that we are not even aware we are doing.  We must refrain from fog eating.  

 

Storm Eating is binge eating or eating out of control.  We may be aware that we are overeating but we can’t control. This happens if we let ourselves get too hungry or as a reaction to an overwhelming emotion. It is often followed by regret and shame, and many times it is done in private or in hiding.

 

We must be conscious of our eating habits. By identifying these patterns, we can develop greater awareness, differentiate between physical hunger and emotional cravings, and cultivate a more balanced relationship with food.  

 

Cultivate consciousness in those tasty bits

Create the right balance in what you eat!

 

~ Pravin K Sabnis

 

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