Listen to Learn

In Jamie Sam's ‘Earth Medicine’, the animals came together to sort out the problems caused by the latest migrations of their northern neighbours that were affecting their food supply. While some were chattering away, others would intervene to make suggestions and offer solutions. Only the bear had not said a thing. Finally, asked why he was so silent, the bear replied, ‘I'm listening and learning. I don't need to talk; I already know what I know.’

We spend a large portion of our waking hours conversing and listening… more of the former and less of the latter. In fact we are conditioned to believe that effective speaking leads to success. But the reality remains that good listening skills are a pre-requisite to good communication skills and subsequent success.

It is important to note that good listening is victim to not only external disturbances but also to internal ‘noise’. We must learn to be better at overcoming this ‘noise’. We must learn to be better at cleansing our minds of prejudices and seek to understand afresh, each time.

A good listener is not the one who swears that he is one. Rather a true listener will display tolerance, patience and an open mind, at all times. At its best listening involves understanding the information, understanding the emotions, checking our understanding, seeing it from the person's viewpoint, without necessarily agreeing.

In our quest to escape the omni-present ‘misunderstanding’, we seek to explain, educate and emphasise our position. However, we need to listen and understand, before we can be understood. For others too are like us… we may be equipped to hear, but we may not have learned to listen…

Learn to listen and listen to learn
BE BETTER at paying attention!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Wanderlust

‘For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move’ - Robert Louis Stevenson in Travels with a Donkey,

Stevenson statement is a case of wanderlust. Those with ‘wanderlust’ don't necessarily need to go anywhere in particular; they just don't care to stay in one spot. The etymology of ‘wanderlust’ is very simple: ‘Wanderlust’ is lust (or desire) for wandering. The word comes from German, in which ‘wandern’ means ‘to wander’.

The film ‘Motorcycle Dairies’ captures a famous case of wanderlust. Four years before he led the Cuban Revolution, a young Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara and his friend, Alberto Granado covered 5,000 miles, on a rickety old motorcycle. They had no fixed schedule and they were able to immerse in life transforming lessons picked up on the way while wandering.

So often, so many of us are seized by the travel bug. But the experiential scope is limited by a schedule crammed with things to do in a hurry and haste. We zoom across the planet leaving no time for soaking in the experience. The lust is for labels, not for true wandering. To be better at enjoying the real facets of Mother Earth, we must empower the desire to wander, rather than merely embark on hurried and harried travel.

We must invest unlimited time in wanderlust to receive greater returns in terms of unlimited happiness. Not just environment enthusiasts, every responsive human being must wander around Mother Earth to understand it better. And it is pertinent to note that the ones who celebrate their wanderlust find bliss. It is well worth the time!

Mother Earth extends an unlimited invitation to set sail

let’s BE BETTER at wanderlust by walking the slow trail…

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Distractions

One of my successful unlearning activities was triggered by a speech by one of my mentors -   John Silveira. I play the video of the song from the Hindi film Munnabhai MBBS, ‘Dekh Le… seekh le’ (C’mon see... c’mon learn…). Then I ask ‘You have SEEN… you have done DEKH LE… now tell me what you learnt… tell me the SEEKH LE you have done…’ Very few attempt an answer… The meaningful words have not been absorbed…

So often, we may not truly listen as we are distracted by the visuals. The song is filmed on a dancing-bar-girl sensually provoking a terminally ill patient to look at the positive side of life. The song exhorts to enjoy the journey of life while it lasts instead of wallowing in the despair of an impending death. The lyrics are truly inspiring. However the visual glamour of the girl takes our attention away from the powerful message contained in the song.

Even while listening to a song, many of us get caught only in the melody and miss the message. Although we possess the ability to simultaneously enjoy the multiple dimensions of countless beautiful songs, many of us pick up on only the most appealing and play blind to the rest. The conception of that song itself is a fruit of the many creative dimensions of different abilities.

We must be better in our ability to see and hear and understand all these dimensions. We must be better at overcoming the disruptive influence of distractions. As learners, we will prosper when we are able to listen despite the distractions. That is exactly what John sought to tell his audience: that the onus of learning is on the learner... not just DEKH LE we must also SEEKH LE…

Do not be sidetracked by disruptive distractions...

let’s BE BETTER at connecting to real connotations!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Sounds of Silence

The last four days held many happy moments for the members of Rotary Club Panaji Riveira and others. They had organised a 4-day RYLA – Rotary Youth Leadership Award – a youth empowerment workshop designed and led by yours truly. For four consecutive years, it was organised for the visually challenged. This year it was organised for the hearing impaired from Goa, Maharashtra and Karnataka.

In keeping with its title ‘Milaap’ – the workshop became a meeting ground for the learners and diverse resource persons like Angad Singh’s team (hospitality skills), Prasad Joshi (adventure), Somu Rao (scientific temper), D’Satish (magic), Satish Nayak of AFA (astronomy), Vividh Pawaskar (teamworking), Augustine Fernandes (inspiration), Afsar Hussain (mime) and others. The participants did not seem really disadvantaged. However, we seemed handicapped by our glaring deficiencies in communication competencies.

They were assertive, positive and dynamic in their response. They were eager learners and proactive in their participation. They danced, played, worked and involved in all the trainings. They displayed high self esteem and were making the most of the workshop experience. Their awesome attitude was seen in their expressive gestures as well as in their actions aligned with discipline, dedication and togetherness.

We learnt from our participants to be like them: to be better at understanding by ensuring engaged scrutiny.  We learnt to be better at communicating with the sounds of silence. We learnt to be better at empathetic listening and critical observing. After all, it is only in silence that we truly become focussed and effective in our expression. Maybe that’s why silence is said to be golden!

The sounds of silence need empowering

to BE BETTER at simple communicating!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Enlightened

Mulla Nasruddin’s friend saw him walking with a large group of followers. Whatever Nasruddin did, his followers would do likewise. Every few steps he would shake his hands in the air, touch his feet and jump up yelling ‘Hu Hu Hu!’ His followers would ape him and do exactly the same thing.

The friend took Nasruddin aside and asked him, ‘What are you doing? Why are these people imitating you?’

‘I have become a Sufi saint’ replied Nasruddin. ‘These are spiritual seekers; I am helping them reach enlightenment!’

‘How do you know when they reach enlightenment?’

‘That’s the easy part... every morning I count them. The ones who have left... they have reached enlightenment!’

So often, we follow the irrational in quest of a sublime purpose. It is a human need to be part of a clan or cluster. But the worthiness of that clique must be confirmed. The noblest of intentions need to be empowered by the ability to constantly question whether we are on the right path and more importantly whether we are emulating the right actions.

It is all right to make a mistake while choosing the wrong person to follow. But it is not acceptable to keep following the wrong road. To be better at being enlightened, we must constantly review and clarify the choices we make and the actions we undertake. And more importantly we must have the courage to move away and move on the appropriate course that is illuminated by the radiant light of reasoning.

To BE BETTER at enlightened illumination...

We need to undergo constant clarification!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Booting

Next week, ‘Unlearning Unlimited’ is conducting a three-day ‘Boot Camp’ for young students in Goa. Many people are intrigued by the word ‘Boot’. The explanation is simple: it is a camp primarily based on the principle of ‘Booting’ and in some ways inspired by the recruit training methodology.

Booting, in computer parlance, is the process that the system performs on itself when it is turned on. The set of operations begins when the computer is turned on for the first time or is re-energized after being turned off, and ends when the machine is ready to perform its normal activities.

Human beings, too, need various sets of booting to re-energize as well as to revive and refresh our own processes of purpose, attitude and approach. Booting is about planning, preparing and implementing all that helps us prepare. Every day, there are many occasions for booting: upon waking up, after a break, before the start of an intensive activity, upon a breakdown...

Booting has to be a regular act and more importantly, a complete process. For instance, when we get set for the day, we not only need some exercise, some cleaning and sprucing, some nourishment, some updating... but we also need to be better at the booting that involves planning, confirming schedules and looking positively forward to possibilities of opportunities and challenges.

Booting has to be done as well in the interim, when we are exhausted or we hit a roadblock... stretching, washing our face, re-nourishing and re-looking at the path and process will help revive and refresh. It must be a responsive habit of doing all that that to be done to be better in every situation. In fact, Boot Camps just acquaint the participant with the happy habit of booting... where the onus of preparedness and revival is on self!

To BE BETTER at all times, choose comprehensive booting...

Not only when forced to, but as an alert habit of fuller living!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

MIRROR

A puppy decided to visit the famous ‘House of 100 Mirrors’. He happily scaled the stairs and looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging furiously. He found himself staring at many other happy little puppies with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled and was answered with many great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the House, he said to himself, ‘This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often.’

Hearing his experience, another little puppy, a perpetually unhappy one, went to visit the place. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked in. He saw many unfriendly looking canines staring back at him. When he barked at them, he saw the angry puppies growling back at him. As he left, he said to himself, ‘This is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again.’

The story heard in childhood holds lessons for adults, too. In the real world, all the faces we encounter are mirrors. And more often than not, the immediate reflection we see on their faces is our own. We choose the kind of reflections we see on the faces of the people we meet. And hence we must choose to be better at the mood we allow ourselves to be in.

After all, hope and despair, cheer and frown are all very infectious. It is our approach and our actions that trigger an aligned response. So if we want to be surrounded by happy, positive faces, we must begin with making the right changes in our own mental makeup and behaviour. After all, mirrors, they say, don’t lie.

Faces, we come across; mirror our mood that they see...
For the world to BE BETTER, change must start with me!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.