Queue

Last Thursday, we visited the Shantadurga Temple at Kavlem for the Zatra – the annual feast. There was a long queue and as is oft seen, many were jumping the line. While some used the rear entrance to do so, others would shamelessly slither ahead, ignoring protests of those standing in the queue.

Their modus operandi was simple: just push on and if confronted, act defiant. A doctor, who was asked to toe the line, lied to say he was not really going in. We saw him lead a group of ten people to the main door of the inner sanctum. The people in the queue were aghast, ‘his devotion is false... he uttered lies in the temple?’ ‘What example, is he setting for his children?’ ‘wither education?’

It is pertinent to note that not just in the temples, churches and mosques; such persons show their selfish streak in every situation. Two facts get confirmed. First, that they really do not care for what they say they believe in. Secondly, they indulge in irresponsible behaviour as they see themselves as above basic humane norms.

Interestingly, all those who seemed in a hurry, that day, were found loitering in the temple premises for a long time. Obviously they had the time but they did not have the patience to wait for their rightful turn. Jumping the queue was a reflection of their egocentricity and their insensitivity to others.

The queue is occasion to confirm our ability to endure waiting for our turn. We need to be better at ensuring that our self-centred actions do not trample on the rights of others in the queue. Most importantly, we need to foresee the chaos if everyone were to break the queue. The common good has to be the defining criterion that guides our conscientious actions in every situation.

Let’s BE BETTER at conscientious patience when in queue

Fairness is when none is short-changed by a selfish few!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Measure of Love

She worked sincerely for many years for her organisation, but never got the expected raise in salary. Her husband encouraged her to speak to her boss and demand the well-deserved raise. Though she was apprehensive, she gathered her guts to approach her employer. To her pleasant surprise, the boss immediately agreed to enhance her salary.

She arrived home to a meal prepared by her husband who had come home early. He had hand-crafted a card that read: ‘I knew you would get the raise you deserved! This treat is to tell you how much I love you.’ After dinner, as her husband went into the kitchen to clean up, she noticed another card fall from his pocket. She noticed another set of words: ‘Don't be sad about not getting the raise you deserved! This treat is to tell you how much I love you."

The man demonstrates total acceptance and love for his spouse, whether she succeeds or fails. His love celebrates her triumphs and seeks to sooth her wounds. He stands steadfastly with her, no matter what vagaries life throws in their direction. His response is constantly aligned to unconditional love.

If you truly care for someone, you don't look for blemishes. You accept faults and overlook excuses. You accept that at some points they will falter and fail. Most importantly, you accept that love cannot be slave to the situation. Love cannot wax and wane due to changing times.

St. Francois de Sales said it so famously that ‘the measure of love is to love without measure.’ So often, our actions may not be in sync with our original emotion of altruistic love. It is not enough to love... we need to be better at steadfastness in sentiment and resoluteness in response... we need to be better at loving without measure!

Let’s BE BETTER at truly loving without measure

Resoluteness in response ensures real treasure!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Power of 1

One person refused to sit on the back of the bus

She changed the right for all of us
Ohhhh that's the power of one....

-        By Bomshel (from the soundtrack of Evan Almighty)

On December 1, 1955, Rose Parks was seating on a bus-seat secluded for blacks. However, the driver demanded that she relinquish her seat to a white passenger. Parks refused and her subsequent arrest and trial for this act of civil disobedience triggered the Montgomery Bus Boycott, one of the largest and most successful mass movements against racial segregation in history.

The movement launched Martin Luther King, Jr., one of the organizers of the boycott, to the forefront of the civil rights movement. Rosa Parks’ role in American history earned her an iconic status and her actions have left an enduring legacy for civil rights movements around the world.

Too often, we insist that an individual cannot make a difference. But, Parks and many others have shown the power of one. It is power that comes from individual initiative. It is about walking the path without waiting for the comfort of company. It is about having the courage to stand up for one’s beliefs and values.

In a world where individuals seek support even before speaking up, we must be better at embracing the power of one. We must be proactive in dealing with every challenge. Without waiting for support, we must do what we know is the right thing to do. We must claim ownership of our own predicaments and respond resolutely and positively to every negative situation.

Do not wait for others to do what you want done...

Let’s BE BETTER at empowering our power of one!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Unlearn the Habit

In India, visitors are served a cup of tea without asking them whether they want it. But I did not mind it as I loved tea. In fact, it was a habit picked up as a child whilst going with my father for radio recordings. We would be served tea at regular intervals. By the time I was in college, I would drink at least a dozen large cups of tea, every day.

But, habits do hurt! A splitting headache would seize me if I missed my regular dose of tea. My predicament was worst while on a trek. I would start off cheerfully but by afternoon the ache in my head would get so bad that I would be in a bad mood. There were two options before me: quit trekking or break the tea habit. I chose the latter.

It was traumatic: my nerves were on tenterhooks, my mood was edgy all day long and withdrawal symptoms would turn me into a jittery mess! However, I held my resolve to unlearn the habit, first in the mind and later in a committed set of actions to reclaim control on my body.

It is pertinent to note that habit has to be divorced first in the mind, before the body can be freed. Now years later, I enjoy tea with or without sugar, with or without milk, or coffee in all its variants or juices of all types or plain water, too. We must try out choices. If we embrace the wide spectrum of plurality, habits have no space to form.

So whether it is food, drink, music or technology or anything, choose not to be a victim of habit by keeping an open attitude toward every new thing that comes before you. We need to be better at unlearning the habit and reclaim control on our own lives. We will develop a fuller personality that can adapt to every emerging change and challenge… because we will be habit free!

No habit can control us without our permission…

Let’s BE BETTER at unlearning dire habituation!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Wait!

A young man came to a Zen master to learn about meditation.

The Zen master asked, ‘Are you capable of waiting?’
The young man asked, ‘Of course, how long?’
The master said, ‘That is enough for me to reject you!’

So often, we claim we are ready to wait to acquire a life skill, yet we are impatient about actually doing so. So often, when we want something, we also want it quick. We swear that we are committed to the distant destination, but we crave for shortcuts to reach there. We want results, but we are not ready to wait.

In fact, the inability to wait, oft results in giving up of the pursuit. Surely, it can be foolish to be seized with impatience and hence be disconnected from the real experience of the journey. It is said so well that ‘time flies slowly to the one whose occupation is to watch its flight’. Waiting turns more tedious for those who are not ready to wait.

For instance, to learn to play music one needs to be willing to wait, for it is never about being good; it is always about being better! The same applies for most worthy pursuits. Commitment (to claim them) cannot be a time-defined contract. If we are sincere in our outlook, it must be reflected in our readiness to focus on the quality of the journey rather than the quantum of time.

Persons, who focus on the journey, enjoy the real transformational experience. Those, who are over conscious of the passing time and date, neither savour the experience nor do they get closer to their desired destination. The restlessness results in losing focus of the vision and mission they set out to pursue. Hence it is best to acquire the willingness to wait!

Focus on the path, not on the passing date

Let’s BE BETTER at the attitude to wait...

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Clean Up

A few years ago, the Tibetean community in Goa organised a day long workshop meeting to deliberate on their predicament of being denied their rights and dignity in Tibet. No sooner the event ended, the volunteers began to stack up the chairs and clean up the hall. When somebody said that they need not do so as they had paid the rent of the hall, one young girl calmly insisted, ‘we paid for the use of the hall, not to abuse it!’

The statement reverberated in the mind while moving across Panaji’s Azad Maidan. It was littered with empty juice containers, used paper plates and leftovers of discarded food. The trash was the residue of the previous day’s gathering to celebrate the 150^th anniversary of Swami Vivekanand. The organisers as well as the audience had desecrated the very place that was used to consecrate lofty words.

Such scenes are seen at most public spaces in India. But it isn’t as if all are at fault. Trekkers, astronomers, nature lovers and others do display their sense of responsibility. They not only refrain from dirtying the place, they pick up the litter and ensure appropriate disposal of the trash. In fact, they take pride in ‘cleaning up’!

Lofty words at community gatherings mean nothing if we do not walk the talk. Our worthiness is defined by a responsive sense of responsibility. It is not enough to tread the trail, we must be better at leaving our path in a better way than we found it to be. Like that young Tibetean girl we must ensure that we do not abuse our environment, our community space and our common world. We must move beyond self-centred attitudes to a responsible behaviour.

Do not abuse the public space, take care...

Let’s BE BETTER at the clean-up out there...

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Know to Grow

The little girl wanted to catch the sky. She kept on leaping and trying to grab as much sky as she could in her outstretched palm. However, neither did she get the sky in her grasp, nor did she stay close to it for long… however, when she fell down and the dust cleared, she noticed majestic trees that got closer and closer to the sky by taking their roots deeper and deeper into the earth.

The lesson was obvious. The deeper the roots, the taller one can be. It is said so well that the one who ‘knows’ is the one who ‘grows’! However, our ability, nay, our attitude, to learn reduces as we grow. Many of us do not bother about even ‘looking at’ information about our own careers leave alone other concerns. General knowledge is fast becoming a superfluous term. Education stops for many with the completion of their academic pursuits.

The roots of a tree are of two types: those that go deep in search of nutrition and those that spread across the breadth to hold the soil better. Both are necessary. We need depth of knowledge in our core interests and breadth of knowledge in everything else. Interestingly, as we grow taller and get closer to the sky, we stumble on that ultimate truth… that there is no sky! There is no limit to how tall we can grow; there is no limit for how deep our roots can go!

Let us be better at developing roots that dive deep and help transform a tiny seed into a tall tree. Our roots are in our environment, in our culture, in our people, in our world… in everything that concerns us. Our roots represent the multiple dimensions that create our personality. We must step outside our comfort zones and discover the real world and unearth our true potential by knowing our roots…

To BE BETTER at the way we grow...

Let’s empower our attitude to know!

- Pravin K. Sabnis