Moon

The moon has no light of its own. It is a cold, rocky body, its surface covered in grey dust. Yet on a night like Kojagiri, it becomes the brightest thing in our sky. But, it is borrowed light.

The sun is the only great lamp in our solar system. It burns with its own energy. Moonlight is sunlight that has travelled a huge distance, struck the moon's surface and bounced back to the earth.

Moonlight is about 4,00,000 times dimmer than direct sunlight. Our eyes can adjust to it, which is why a night under a full moon feels bright. Our eyes find it as gentle, not harsh like the sun.

The moon teaches a quiet lesson: you don't have to produce your own light to illuminate the darkness. You just have to be positioned well enough to reflect someone else's, and to share it with those around you.

The sun is the real lamp that burns bright all day long

The moon is no less, ruling the night by reflecting strong!

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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Partisan

The term comes from the Italian 'partigiano': a member of a party. In a democracy, parties need loyal members to organize, campaign, debate ideas and govern. The partisan shows up, volunteers, votes and defends his party's say. Political movements have depended on partisans who refused to be neutral.

Partisans turn negative when loyalty overrides judgment. Data is judged not by its accuracy, but by whether it helps or hurts one's own side. Many partisans are motivated more by dislike of the opposing party than by affection for their own. 'Hyper-partisanship' or 'tribalism' leads to institutional erosion too.

In everyday life, we navigate partisan pressures. Family, workplace, organisations and online algorithms reward taking a clear side. Being non-partisan can mean being uncommitted or disengaged. At the same time being partisan is often being irrational, unjust and unfair to the other side.

It is not whether you have a side, it is important as to how you hold it. Does being partisan make you open minded or close minded? Does it make you demand more from your own side or only from the other side? 

A healthy partisan says: 'This is my party, my cause and because I believe in it, I will hold it to its highest principles.' An unhealthy partisan says: 'This is my party, therefore whatever it does is right.' In that distinction lies the difference between a tool for democracy and as a threat to it.

Even when wrong, partisans cheer their team

Support your side, not the deviant scheme!

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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The Elephant in the Room

An elephant standing in your room is impossible to miss. But if everyone pretends it is not there, the conversation continues around it. The phrase describes an obvious problem, difficult issue, or unspoken truth that is being avoided.

We know it. We see it taking up all the space. Yet, no one says a word. That is the elephant in the room... a truth so obvious, so large, that its very presence is ignored precisely because acknowledging it would be uncomfortable.

In a family, it might be a failing marriage that everyone knows about but no one discusses. In an organization, it is often the real reason a project is failing, a toxic manager no one dares to name, or a budget cut everyone suspects is coming. In society, it can be caste, corruption, climate change, or mental health... issues too big to ignore, yet too awkward to address directly.

There are reasons why we ignore the elephant in the room. Pointing at the elephant makes you the disruptor. People fear being labelled rude, negative or disloyal. Secondly, if we name the problem, we will have to do something about it. Pretending it doesn't exist feels safer than taking responsibility.

Social politeness is a major handicap. We are trained to be nice. Organizations often value harmony over honesty, so we choose polite silence over difficult truth. But, the energy spent ignoring the elephant is far greater than the energy required to address it.  

Every room has an elephant at some point. Mature people are those who learn to point to it quickly, kindly and courageously. Ignoring only makes the room smaller for everyone else. Acknowledging the elephant is an act of respect... for the truth, and for the people in the room.

When the elephant in the room is out there

Do not pretend otherwise, choose to dare!

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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It is Okay!

These are the words that can either heal the other or hurt the one who utters it. We say it when someone spills or breaks something. When a friend cancels at the last minute. When someone apologizes for something that actually hurt. 

We say it because it is easy, because it smooths the surface. We want to be seen as kind or we may want to move on and beyond. However while saying 'it is okay' is a powerful act, it should not be misdirected.

It can be the most generous thing to do. It is forgiveness without a lecture. It is telling someone: You are human. You made a mistake, and it is okay. When someone is drowning in guilt, it can be the rope that releases both persons.

The problem begins when we say it even when it is not okay. You do it to avoid conflict. To keep the peace at the cost of our own peace. You end up teaching people that your boundaries are negotiable. 

We must learn to say it honestly. Saying 'it is okay' should be a conscious choice, not a reflex. It is okay to not be okay. And it is a joy when it truly is okay.

Choose to say or not to say

Those lovely words 'it is okay'

~ Pravin K Sabnis

 

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When? Then!

So often we choose 'I will be happy when... only then!' When I make a crore. When I have my dream car. When I get a coveted award. When? Then!

Psychologists call it the 'Arrival Fallacy'. Robert Holden called it 'Destination Addiction'. In simple terms, it is happiness deferral, meaning ignoring the small joys in the quest of the larger version of stated happiness.

The concern is not just that you are unhappy now. You begin to miss the only place happiness can actually happen... inside an ordinary, unfinished day in smaller but sure ways.

It is not about lowering goals. It is about refusing to make your well-being conditional on achieving them. If we reach the desired destination, we simply create another, thus deferring happiness to an even later date.

Aristotle said happiness is an activity, not a prize at the end. It's how you are while you live, not what you get after. So choose to enjoy the joys on the way instead of waiting for another day!

Defeat the trap of deferral by waiting for a later 'then'...

Lots of joys are found if we don't postpone the 'when'!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

 

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Role model

There are sincere persons who are aligned to defined responsibilities towards sustainable living. And there are self-declared environmentalists who are superficially interested in the environment. This tribe is interested in being seen as persons who care.

Their environmentalism is not about sacrifice. It is a curation. The norms they propose are for others. Their own consumption is framed as essential, conscious, offset. They are obsessed with symbolism over substance. 

Real environmentalism is boring, local, and humble. It is cleaning a beach without filming it. It is fixing things instead of replacing them, wasting less, consuming less quietly and living a sustainable life. It does not need a label, a hashtag, or a moral superiority complex.

As teachers, preachers, and leaders, we show the way to students, listeners, and followers. The question is whether we walk the talk and inspire by example. The question is whether we are role models to what we ask others to do.

Role Models, they say...

Walk the talk, every way!

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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Correction

It is said that even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Its frozen hands match the repeating 12-hour cycle during both the morning and evening.

A clock that is wrong every time is the one that is running but on the wrong time. It is putting in the efforts but is just off enough to never accidentally show the right time.

That makes it seem worse than broken. A broken clock tells the truth twice by doing nothing. The wrong clock lies constantly by trying but repeating the error of being off time.

This is a good metaphor for people too. There are ones who keep doing the wrong thing because they are off track. It is important to start right and if not, we must get back to the right track.

However, not doing anything is not recommended even if you are right by some coincidence on random occasion. Most importantly, even if you are on the wrong track, you can always make the course correction. 

Don't play dead just to be right by chance

If the move is wrong, correct your dance

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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One and the same

4 years old, Karga Tinkle Gongo, from Itanagar, Arunachal Pradesh, was recorded by her mother while buying icecream. Someone commented on the video, 'Why is this Chinese child speaking Hindi?'

Karga got sad and made another video saying, 'I am an Indian... Don't call me Chinese!' This video went viral on social media but we cannot be sure that all of us will learn the lessons taught by the little girl.

Being Indian was never about one face, one language, one look. She reminded us that India has always been a mix of different faces, cultures, languages and diverse indigenous communities. 

People from the Northeast are often asked 'are you really from India?' People from elsewhere are mocked as being lesser Indians, based on the demonisation of the State they come from or for other sweeping generalizations.

Hateful racist comments are unacceptable even as loose jokes. Karga said it clearly, 'it makes us very angry and very sad.' She was claiming her place. The lesson for us is to give that place.

Looking different is another excuse lame

Truth be told, we are one and the same!

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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Laissez-faire

Laissez-faire leadership, sometimes called delegative leadership, is an approach in which leaders give minimal oversight and allow team members autonomy in making decisions and managing tasks. It is basically the idea that things run best when Government, bosses, or other authorities don't interfere too much.

In economics, it suggests that the Government does not regulate business. No price controls, minimal taxes, no subsidies. Businesses and consumers make their own choices and the "invisible hand" of the market sorts it out. In general it is about letting people make their own decisions without stepping in.

It comes from the French phrase 'laissez faire, laissez passer' (let do, let pass). The Physiocrats proclaimed laissez-faire in 18th-century France, placing it at the very core of their economic principles and famous economists, beginning with Adam Smith, developed the idea.

The positives of a 'laissez faire' approach are more innovation, efficiency, individual freedom. The negatives are that it can lead to monopolies, inequality, and no safety net when things go wrong. 

So the middle path while choosing the 'laissez faire' approach in economics, leadership or even parenting, should be less of 'no rules at all' and more 'minimal rules, maximum freedom to operate.'

The doctrine laissez faire is about 'let be'

But ensure the vulnerable are not at sea.

L

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Citizenship Test

A citizenship test is an oral or written exam used by countries for Citizenship and Immigration Services. It evaluates an applicant's knowledge of local history, government, laws, etc before granting official citizenship.

Apart from those who have to take this test for acquiring citizenship, it would be interesting for us existing citizens to take the fun challenge to confirm our knowledge about our country.

For instance if we are asked which is the national language of India, many are likely to say Hindi, some may say English. India recognises 22 scheduled languages but has no defined national language.

We would be mistaken if we say the national sport of India is hockey or cricket. We do not have a national sport. We would make similar errors about simple questions about our geography, history and other facts.

When we declare we love our country, we owe it to ourselves to know basics at least. After all the real Citizenship Tests are about basics, not advanced complicated information. If we can't answer the obvious then it is obvious that our declared love for the country is weak.

Let not love for the country be a superficial emotion

Let's scale the easy Citizenship Test on every occasion

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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Unfriending

LIn the Digital Age, we accept a 'friend' in a second. Unfriending takes longer. That makes it feel bigger than it looks. It may be a boundary, not necessarily a fight. 

Unfriending is removing someone from your social network so they no longer see your private posts, and you no longer see theirs. Unlike blocking, they can still find your public profile. Unlike muting, the connection itself is cut.

People do unfriending for various reasons. Some do it as Digital hygiene... to reduce clutter, doomscrolling, and posts that trigger them. It is like cleaning your room. For some it is about relationship drift. Unfriending just updates your list to match reality.

People also unfriend due to indignation triggered by political posts, hate messages, excessive business pitches, constant oversharing, trolling. When direct conversation feels pointless or exhausting, unfriending becomes the exit. Some prune friend lists for privacy reasons.

The psychology behind unfriending is that we treat online friend counts like social proof. So removing someone feels like rejection, even when it’s not meant that way. The upside is that unfriending is practice for real-life boundaries. 

Every time you remove someone who drains you online, it gets easier to say no offline too. Your feed starts reflecting people who energize you, not people you feel obligated to. It can be great for maintenance for your peace. 

If with sound thought you choose unfriending

It will enhance peace without the bending

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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Deflection

Deflection is a psychological defense mechanism where a person redirects focus, blame, or responsibility away from themselves and onto someone or something else. It acts as an emotional shield to avoid discomfort, guilt, or accountability.

Deflection is when someone shifts the focus away from the current topic, usually to avoid answering, taking responsibility, or dealing with discomfort. It is basically a conversational redirect that seeks to divert discussion. 

There are various ways that people try to deflect an ongoing discussion. The most common is to change the topic. Another option is a counter accusation. Some try to minimize the scope or impact of the ongoing topic while some decide to get over aggressive about something else. 

Most people use it as a defense mechanism. Often it is because one has nothing really to say. Sometimes, it is just a matter of inflated ego. The goal isn't to address the point. The goal is to move you off it.

To respond appropriately to deflection, the first step is to notice it early. You may realise that your question never actually got answered, but the subject suddenly changed. The trick is to stay on track and return to the main topic by using methods of assertiveness like broken record, agree-in-part, etc.

Don't swallow the bait of deflection

A cool mind holds on to the discussion

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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Anubhooti

In Sanskrit, Anubhooti refers to experience that comes after observing and living through something. It is not just knowledge from books. It is a realisation born out of an experience.

We can read about or be told about rain, but Anubhooti is to get wet in the showers, feel the water touch the skin and to smell the wet earth. Mistakes, joys, losses, and little daily experiences all become Anubhooti.

A guru, an artist, or an elder is respected not only for what they know, but for what they have experienced. Their words carry weight because they come from Anubhooti.

Educational institutions are now bringing Anubhooti back into learning. Instead of rote learning, learners are encouraged to do experiments, visit places, work on projects, and reflect. When a child grows a plant, cleans a beach, or interviews a grandparent, the lesson becomes Anubhooti.

Information is everywhere now, easy to download. But Anubhooti cannot be downloaded. It has to be lived. It builds wisdom because you start seeing learning beyond textbooks.

It is important to note that two people can go through the same situation yet walk away with very different understandings, because their experiences are different. Hence Anubhooti will differ from person to person leading to multiple perceptions and perspectives.

Immerse in the experience to learn and unlearn

Anubhooti will happen as an unexpected turn!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Adopt a Tree

Planting a tree is an activity that has become fashionable. On environment days, during the ongoing Vanamohtsav Week saplings are planted as a photo-op. The next year the same space will be available to plant another sapling.

It is futile to plant a tree that will not survive because of lack of nurturing and protection. Speaking of protection, existing full grown trees are easily marked for felling for silly reasons.

Instead of casual planting, maybe we should adopt trees and look after them. The adopted trees could be fully grown trees or freshly planted saplings. The one who adopts that tree should look after it with care.

Adopting a tree requires the resolve of a consistent commitment. It is a choice made by those who connect totally to the common good. They do not seek immediate benefits for themselves.

So often, we are seized by an emotion that is well intentioned. But, the best of intentions can come to nought, if we do not back our initial act by a follow up of appropriate actions. So while it is good to ‘plant’, it would be better to ‘adopt’ and nurture that tree!

Choose to create a lasting legacy

Do not just plant... adopt the tree!

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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Steady Pace

In a culture that glorifies overnight success, the viral moment and over working, 'steady pace' is a prudent choice. We are taught to equate speed with ambition. Move fast, break things and hustle harder. 

Sprinters burn out. They also skip steps. The novelist who rushes to publish puts out a messy draft. The company that scales too fast builds a foundation of debt and duct tape. Speed creates casualties that steadiness avoids.

A steady pace isn’t slow. Slow implies a lack of urgency. Steady implies control. The marathoner who knows her splits. The student who studies 2 hours every day instead of cramming for 14 hours once. Water cuts through rock not because it is strong, but because it is persistent. 

When we sprint, adrenaline decides. When we are steady, we have room to think. We notice the crack in the foundation before the building collapses. We rewrite the bad paragraph instead of forwarding it.

At a steady pace, stay on your feet

That is the way to avoid any defeat!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Alter Attitude

A woman approached her friend for poison to kill her hostile mother-in-law. Her friend cautioned her, ‘since, everyone knows that you hate her, it will be obvious that you killed her. Instead if you give her this slow poison every day, she will die in six months. In the meanwhile behave as if you love her. When she dies no one will suspect you.’

The woman started giving the poison to her mother-in-law; at the same time, she acted as if she loved her. Shortly, her mother-in-law began to reciprocate her love and caring attitude.

Now, the woman no longer wanted her mother-in-law to die. She rushed to her friend to ask for an antidote. Her friend calmly replied, ‘what I gave you is harmless. I knew that if you changed your behaviour to your mother-in-law, she would reciprocate with positive feelings towards you.’

Attitude is difficult to alter. But behaviour can easily change due to motives. A changed stimulus invites a transformed response. A renovated response gives rise to positive experiences which lead to a positively altered attitude.

So often, we crib about the negatives in others. But the attitude of others is also impacted by our own attitude that is reflected in our behaviour towards them. If we alter our behaviour we will discover positive impacts that eventually result in transformed thinking and altered attitude on both sides!

When you want other's attitude to change

Try altering your own  behavioural range!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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HEARD OR HERD

Two friends were out on a walk alongside a busy road. One of them stopped and said, ‘I think I hear something.’ He put aside a loose paving stone to set free a cricket that was chirping.

His friend remarked, ‘that’s amazing… so many people are on the street at this hour, hurrying from work; yet you alone heard the cricket above all the traffic noises.’

The first replied, ‘people hear only what they want to hear. Right now, the noise of traffic has neither increased nor decreased… but watch.’ He dropped a coin from his pocket to the sidewalk. Everyone within an amazingly large hearing distance stopped and looked around.

The man, who heard the cricket, had been able to retain his childhood ability to hear well. This was aided by his interest in the sounds of Nature. The hearing ability of the crowd was restricted to materialistic motivations like the sound of coins. 

We are born with amazing abilities to use our senses, but for most of us, as we grow those abilities get narrowed down to hear and see lesser and lesser.

Whenever we say that we did not hear something, we must accept that the onus is on us to heed and hear. Never mind the distractions; we must be better at listening. We must rediscover the child that was born with the ability to maintain an engaging interest and hence could hear it!

Choose to be different from the distracted herd

With keen interest, every little thing will be heard!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Me Time

The term 'Me time' refers to time spent relaxing, focusing on oneself and doing activities purely for yourself. It is a conscious break from daily routines, work obligations and the demands of others, allowing you to recharge your mental and physical energy.

While it sounds simple, it is the thing most people never actually get around to. Life keeps piling on  responsibilities, chores and commitments. The choice of doing something just for yourself starts to feel selfish or even impossible. 

'Me time' isn’t a luxury. It is important maintenance. Without it, things starts to blur. You get irritable, forgetful, tired in a way sleep cannot fix. You are so preoccupied with things to do that you do nothing for yourself.

Me time resets that. It pulls you out of everyone else’s orbit. For some it is an hour with a book and no phone nearby. For others it is a walk without a destination, music in their ears. It can be what you really like: cooking, sitting on the floor to draw or just lying in bed staring at the ceiling.

'Me time' gives you space to notice what you actually think and feel, not just what you are supposed to do next. It connects you to your passion and the little joys of life. 'Me time' is you, undivided. And that version of you is the one everyone else gets the benefit of later.

'Me time' will reclaim my childlike grin

Just me, and the joy I choose to be in!

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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Museums

Today's muse is an ode to museums on occasion of International Museum Day. A museum is a building that refuses to forget. Civilisations fade, languages die, and ways of living get paved over. The museum puts a roof over what remains.

Humans collect for two reasons: evidence and longing. Proof of the past, of the things invented, of the battles fought. Longing because every exhibit is a world that is lost to us or is on the way out. 

Museums are born from an innate human drive to preserve, understand and share our collective memory. They are driven by a desire to educate the public, celebrate cultural identity, and protect historical artifacts from being lost to time.

Museums are about the choice to display, to showcase, to label... a choice about whose story gets a room. The British Museum holds the Parthenon Marbles; Greece holds the empty space where they stood. Both are museums now: one of objects, one of absence. 

The museum exhibits chronology so we can see patterns of how our ancestors lived. It is the only place where you can watch the Stone Age end and the Space Age begin in thirty steps. We look, we read the text, we listen to the narrator. We revisit the past.

However a good museum is not a mausoleum. It is about the past we want to hold on to. Good museums let things breathe: rotating exhibits, living artists, community curators, repatriation. It is about a continued conversation aiming to retrieve, restore and refuse to forget.

Was the past perfect? No! But there are lessons to be learnt. To do the things that were right and to learn from the things that were wrong. The museum can be our talisman to learn the right lessons. 

They relive the past, unlike the dead mausoleum 

The present is grateful to the lovely museums!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Mango Man

'Mangoes and Meanings' is an interesting exhibition (upto 14 June) at Museum of Goa. Interesting stories come from displayed mangoes, stuff made from them and art inspired by the king of fruits. One such story is of India's Mango Man, Kalimullah Khan featured in a painting put up at the exhibition.

He lives in Malihabad, Uttar Pradesh - India's mango belt. On his family farm, he grafted over 300 different varieties of mangoes onto a single 120-year-old tree. Each branch gives mangoes with different taste, texture, color and size. He calls it 'the biggest mango college in the world'.

He dropped out of school after 7th standard and started experimenting with grafting at age 17. His first attempt produced 7 varieties, but that tree was destroyed in a storm. Since 1987, he's been working on his famous 120-year-old tree. 

In 2008, the Government of India awarded him Padma Shri, for his work in horticulture. He is over 82 years of age and still walks to his tree every morning at dawn. He says, 'people will come and go, but the mangoes will remain forever'.

In Hindustani lingo, the common man is called 'aam aadmi'. 'Aam' also means mango and has become reason for the inspiring success of a common man called Kalimullah Khan who backed his dream with continuous commitment.

Passion backed by perseverance will take you far

India's Mango Man shows the way to be a star

~ Pravin K Sabnis

 

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