Alter Attitude

A woman approached her friend for poison to kill her hostile mother-in-law. Her friend cautioned her, ‘since, everyone knows that you hate her, it will be obvious that you killed her. Instead if you give her this slow poison every day, she will die in six months. In the meanwhile behave as if you love her. When she dies no one will suspect you.’

The woman started giving the poison to her mother-in-law; at the same time, she acted as if she loved her. Shortly, her mother-in-law began to reciprocate her love and caring attitude.

Now, the woman no longer wanted her mother-in-law to die. She rushed to her friend to ask for an antidote. Her friend calmly replied, ‘what I gave you is harmless. I knew that if you changed your behaviour to your mother-in-law, she would reciprocate with positive feelings towards you.’

Attitude is difficult to alter. But behaviour can easily change due to motives. A changed stimulus invites a transformed response. A renovated response gives rise to positive experiences which lead to a positively altered attitude.

So often, we crib about the negatives in others. But the attitude of others is also impacted by our own attitude that is reflected in our behaviour towards them. If we alter our behaviour we will discover positive impacts that eventually result in transformed thinking and altered attitude on both sides!

When you want other's attitude to change

Try altering your own  behavioural range!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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HEARD OR HERD

Two friends were out on a walk alongside a busy road. One of them stopped and said, ‘I think I hear something.’ He put aside a loose paving stone to set free a cricket that was chirping.

His friend remarked, ‘that’s amazing… so many people are on the street at this hour, hurrying from work; yet you alone heard the cricket above all the traffic noises.’

The first replied, ‘people hear only what they want to hear. Right now, the noise of traffic has neither increased nor decreased… but watch.’ He dropped a coin from his pocket to the sidewalk. Everyone within an amazingly large hearing distance stopped and looked around.

The man, who heard the cricket, had been able to retain his childhood ability to hear well. This was aided by his interest in the sounds of Nature. The hearing ability of the crowd was restricted to materialistic motivations like the sound of coins. 

We are born with amazing abilities to use our senses, but for most of us, as we grow those abilities get narrowed down to hear and see lesser and lesser.

Whenever we say that we did not hear something, we must accept that the onus is on us to heed and hear. Never mind the distractions; we must be better at listening. We must rediscover the child that was born with the ability to maintain an engaging interest and hence could hear it!

Choose to be different from the distracted herd

With keen interest, every little thing will be heard!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Me Time

The term 'Me time' refers to time spent relaxing, focusing on oneself and doing activities purely for yourself. It is a conscious break from daily routines, work obligations and the demands of others, allowing you to recharge your mental and physical energy.

While it sounds simple, it is the thing most people never actually get around to. Life keeps piling on  responsibilities, chores and commitments. The choice of doing something just for yourself starts to feel selfish or even impossible. 

'Me time' isn’t a luxury. It is important maintenance. Without it, things starts to blur. You get irritable, forgetful, tired in a way sleep cannot fix. You are so preoccupied with things to do that you do nothing for yourself.

Me time resets that. It pulls you out of everyone else’s orbit. For some it is an hour with a book and no phone nearby. For others it is a walk without a destination, music in their ears. It can be what you really like: cooking, sitting on the floor to draw or just lying in bed staring at the ceiling.

'Me time' gives you space to notice what you actually think and feel, not just what you are supposed to do next. It connects you to your passion and the little joys of life. 'Me time' is you, undivided. And that version of you is the one everyone else gets the benefit of later.

'Me time' will reclaim my childlike grin

Just me, and the joy I choose to be in!

~ Pravin K Sabnis 

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Museums

Today's muse is an ode to museums on occasion of International Museum Day. A museum is a building that refuses to forget. Civilisations fade, languages die, and ways of living get paved over. The museum puts a roof over what remains.

Humans collect for two reasons: evidence and longing. Proof of the past, of the things invented, of the battles fought. Longing because every exhibit is a world that is lost to us or is on the way out. 

Museums are born from an innate human drive to preserve, understand and share our collective memory. They are driven by a desire to educate the public, celebrate cultural identity, and protect historical artifacts from being lost to time.

Museums are about the choice to display, to showcase, to label... a choice about whose story gets a room. The British Museum holds the Parthenon Marbles; Greece holds the empty space where they stood. Both are museums now: one of objects, one of absence. 

The museum exhibits chronology so we can see patterns of how our ancestors lived. It is the only place where you can watch the Stone Age end and the Space Age begin in thirty steps. We look, we read the text, we listen to the narrator. We revisit the past.

However a good museum is not a mausoleum. It is about the past we want to hold on to. Good museums let things breathe: rotating exhibits, living artists, community curators, repatriation. It is about a continued conversation aiming to retrieve, restore and refuse to forget.

Was the past perfect? No! But there are lessons to be learnt. To do the things that were right and to learn from the things that were wrong. The museum can be our talisman to learn the right lessons. 

They relive the past, unlike the dead mausoleum 

The present is grateful to the lovely museums!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Mango Man

'Mangoes and Meanings' is an interesting exhibition (upto 14 June) at Museum of Goa. Interesting stories come from displayed mangoes, stuff made from them and art inspired by the king of fruits. One such story is of India's Mango Man, Kalimullah Khan featured in a painting put up at the exhibition.

He lives in Malihabad, Uttar Pradesh - India's mango belt. On his family farm, he grafted over 300 different varieties of mangoes onto a single 120-year-old tree. Each branch gives mangoes with different taste, texture, color and size. He calls it 'the biggest mango college in the world'.

He dropped out of school after 7th standard and started experimenting with grafting at age 17. His first attempt produced 7 varieties, but that tree was destroyed in a storm. Since 1987, he's been working on his famous 120-year-old tree. 

In 2008, the Government of India awarded him Padma Shri, for his work in horticulture. He is over 82 years of age and still walks to his tree every morning at dawn. He says, 'people will come and go, but the mangoes will remain forever'.

In Hindustani lingo, the common man is called 'aam aadmi'. 'Aam' also means mango and has become reason for the inspiring success of a common man called Kalimullah Khan who backed his dream with continuous commitment.

Passion backed by perseverance will take you far

India's Mango Man shows the way to be a star

~ Pravin K Sabnis

 

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Hurt Sentiments

'My sentiments are hurt' has become the default trend of public discourse. Even private, emotional reaction is now a public claim that demands institutional response, legal protection and social deference. 

The phrase now implies that feelings are fragile possessions that can be damaged by words uttered by the 'other', as if it were a personal wound. In communities with deep historical and cultural divisions, this wound is amplified. 

The consequence is a growing demand for restrictive boundaries around expression. The law in many countries places limits on speech that intentionally insults religion, race or community sentiments.

Yet the criterion of 'hurt sentiments' is inherently subjective. One person’s satire is another person’s sacrilege. One group’s reclaimed symbol is another group’s insult. Once hurt becomes the threshold for action, it creates a moving target where the most easily offended set the limits for everyone else. 

This shifts power from reasoned debate to emotional reaction, and from criticism of ideas to protection of identities. Over time, it can stifle art, scholarship, humour and dissent, because almost any idea can be framed as offensive to someone.

In the end, sentiments being hurt reveals something fundamental about modern life: we want both absolute freedom and absolute safety from discomfort. The choice a society makes about where to draw the line determines whether it remains open to truth and beauty, or settles for silence in the name of peace.

Whether hurtful offense or mere disagreement

Society needs to move beyond hurt sentiments!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Slip Show

In the 1940s, the phrase "the slip is showing" was a literal warning when a woman's undergarment hem dropped below her skirt. It was a kind urging: fix yourself before the world sees what you didn't mean to reveal.

In today's context, the phrase has become a metaphor. Now it means that the mask has slipped. The carefully maintained image has slipped to expose a truer, messier or less rehearsed persona.

Never mind the best of efforts, the slip tends to peep out. The chances increase when we lower our defences due to carelessness or casualness. And the ugly inside slips out.

Last week, a woman aggressively took on a politician and his crowd for blocking the road for a protest purportedly for women's rights. The moment went viral and the politician's supporters joined the online battle to attack the woman. 

They put out her name and posted photos and videos to malign her character. They called her a prostitute and spilled filth and venom, till it turned out to be a mistaken identity. But the inner ugly side had already slipped. 

The filthy thoughts and the gutter language confirmed what the online warriors were trying to hide. It was never about what was right. It was about what was wrong in their heads. They stood exposed for the degradation they had sunk to and were now stripped of all cover.

No shame if the slip is showing as peeping lace

But when vile thoughts slip, it is a sure disgrace!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Our planet

Our planet is a living set of connected systems. Forests make rain. Oceans set the thermostat. Soil (considered as dirt) is a universe of microbes feeding the crops that feed us.

When one piece shifts, the others feel it. A warmer ocean means stronger monsoons. Fewer trees in the Amazon means less rain in farmland thousands of miles away.

For most of Earth’s history, humans weren’t here. In the last 200 years, we have developed ways to impact our planet, both ways. The question is what kind of impact we choose. We protect what we love. And love starts with attention.

Notice the monsoon clouds building in the sky. Notice how a single tree cools a street by 5°C. Notice that the beach looks different after a storm, and again after a cleanup. The decor is data. It tells us when a system is healthy.

Our planet will exist with or without us. What’s at stake is the planet that’s good for us: stable climates, drinkable water, coral reefs, tigers, mangroves, winter, fruits. We must start with first noticing and choosing the right actions.

Our planet is home and classroom in every way

We must pay attention and act like we plan to stay.

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Blind faith

In recent years, India has witnessed a surge in the number of self-proclaimed fraudmen, amassing huge followings and wealth. The huge number of blind followers confirms that growing concerns of gullibility even in the modern world.

Fraudmen promise their followers a quick fix to their problems, be it financial, emotional or spiritual. They claim to possess supernatural powers, which can be alluring for those seeking solutions to their troubles. Blind faith leads people to overlook the fraudmen's questionable actions and motives.

Unquestioning devotion leads to financial and emotional exploitation. When individuals surrender their critical thinking, they become vulnerable to manipulation that leads to a loss of personal autonomy and decision-making abilities.

When we succumb to blind faith, we let go of ownership and responsibility for our lives. It's essential to approach spirituality with a discerning mind. Questioning and seeking evidence can help expose those with ulterior motives.

Rather than blindly following fraudmen, we should focus on cultivating a deeper understanding of ourselves and our faith, our values and beliefs. By adopting a more informed and nuanced approach to spirituality, we can avoid the pitfalls of blind faith and nurture a more authentic and fulfilling life's journey.

When you surrender reason to trash

Blind faith will lead to a surefire crash!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Hubris

Education Minister Dharmendra Pradhan has proposed that India should replace the international norm of ‘Greenwich Mean Time’ (GMT) by ‘Mahakal Standard Time’ (MST). His argument is based on his 'pride' for time calculations, he claims were made in ancient India. However, the obviously disastrous implications confirmed that his pride was actually hubris.

The term 'hubris' is derived from Greek hýbris, meaning arrogance. The story of Icarus, who flew too close to the sun, serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of unchecked pride. In literature, characters like Macbeth and Odysseus' crew depict the devastating consequences of hubris.

In modern usage, the term is common in leadership, business and politics, where it leads to ignoring advice, poor decision-making and eventual failure. Hubris causes a person to ignore obvious dangers, often resulting in their ruin.

Pride, in moderation, can be a powerful motivator and drive individuals to push boundaries, achieve greatness and assert their presence. However, when pride morphs into hubris, it becomes a destructive force. It blinds individuals to their weaknesses, making them more susceptible to errors and poor decision-making.

Hubris is often linked to narcissistic personality traits, where individuals develop an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy. This can lead to a toxic mix of entitlement, aggression, and risk-taking behavior. While confidence is essential for growth and success, hubris can lead to destructive behavior and ultimately, downfall.

Hubris is damningly misplaced pride

Downfall will be the end of the ride

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Gotcha' Tribalism

'Gotcha' is an informal contraction of 'got you,' to mean 'I understand' or to triumphantly declare that someone has been caught, tricked, or surprised. It also refers to a 'gotcha' moment - a trap or sudden, often embarrassing, revelation aimed at someone

'Gotcha' tribalism refers to a divisive, performative form of political or cultural conflict focused on "scoring points" or catching opponents in a mistake rather than engaging in honest debate

It transforms issues into selective, us-vs-them outrage, leading to score-settling instead of finding solutions. It involves selective outrage and "gotcha" moments, where proponents demand high standards from the opposing group while ignoring larger or similar faults in their own "tribe".

Similar to general tribalism, this mindset divides people into tribes: family, culture, or political affiliation... making it exclusive and often creating "others" who are viewed as threats.

This behavior is often used as a, way to bait or taunt opponents for attention or social validation rather than meaningful discourse on Social Media. It thrives on a lack of context and empathy, aiming to humiliate the "other" rather than understanding the issue.

Do not insist in plucking innocent feathers

Gotacha Tribalism treats unfairly all the others!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Free from death

Today is the anniversary of the martyrdom of revolutionaries - Bhagat Singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev who were hanged on 23 March 1931. Their philosophy was reflected in the line 'Jeena hai toh marna seekho yaaro!' (If you want to live, learn to die).

The phrase is as profound as it is unsettling. Since death is a certainty, why not live life to the fullest? Life's unpredictability is what makes it so precious. 

It is about embracing the impermanence of things and finding freedom in letting go of fears and doubts. When we accept death, we start living. We stop sweating the small stuff and focus on what truly matters to us. 

It is about living authentically and taking risks. Life is too short for regrets. So, let's make the most of this wild ride and live without apologies... like the three young revolutionaries who lived worthy lives despite being hanged before they turned 24 years.

Be free from death and it's aligned fear

Live life to the fullest focus and cheer!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Equipoise

The Carpe Diem Art Gallery at Majorda, Goa is celebrating women artists over the entire month of March through exhibitions, workshops, screenings and interactive discussions. At one such discussion, playwright Isabel Vas shared her approach to storytelling in theatre. She said rather than focussing on conflict, she chose to find 'equipoise'.

In the midst of strife, the idea of equipoise reminds us of the importance of balance in our lives. Derived from the Latin words 'aequus' (equal) and 'ponere' (to place), equipoise refers to a state of equilibrium, where opposing forces are balanced, and stability is achieved.

In today's fast-paced world, equipoise is more crucial than ever. The pursuit of success, happiness, and fulfillment can lead to an endless cycle of striving, stress, and burnout. Equipoise offers a right choice: to pause and recalibrate.

Equipoise is not about achieving a static state of perfection; rather, it's a dynamic process of adjustment, adaptation and growth. It's about finding balance amidst the lows and flows of life, acknowledging that opposing forces are an inherent part of the human experience. By embracing equipoise, we can cultivate resilience, clarity and purpose.

Equipoise is surely a choice fine,

Balance is a harmonious sign!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Lemonade

'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!'

The statement is more than just a catchy phrase... it is an attitude. Life won't always be sweet, but we have the choice to make it refreshing.

This phrase, coined by Elbert Hubbard, encourages optimism and resilience, suggesting you turn adversity (sour lemons) into something positive or desirable (sweet lemonade). It implies that, despite a bad situation, we can take control and make the best of it.

The idiom encourages us to be proactive and turn obstacles into opportunities. Instead of complaining about the sourness, we can choose to create something new and valuable. It's about resilience, adaptability and scouting the silver lining.

In today's world, we are constantly faced with challenges, big and small. But it is how we respond that matters. Do we get stuck in the sourness or do we make something amazing out of it?

If life gives lemons, don't you despair

Lemonade must be made with flair!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Power of Silence

Losing your voice can be a major concern when you are in the business of speaking. Endoscopy confirmed strain on the nodules on my vocal cords. Besides medication, doctor recommended rest for the voice.

In our world where everyone is talking, silence is a virtue. Keeping silent doesn't mean not contributing; sometimes, it's the most powerful thing you can do.

Silence gives you time to think before speaking. You hear more when you're not talking. Silence can avoid unnecessary conflict as it is a form of self-control.

We know that silence is the best choice when we are angry or upset or when we don't have all the facts or when we are unsure of what to say. Of course, it is basic etiquette when someone else is speaking.

We must choose to inculcate the practice of silence. We can start small by taking a few seconds before responding. We must opt to enjoy quiet moments of mindfulness with nature, reading and listening. And keep choosing periods of silence finding other ways to communicate.

Listen with care and mindful eyes

Discover power in silent surprise!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

 

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Cleanliness

'Cleanliness is next to Godliness' is a popular proverb by John Wesley. Today is the birth anniversary of great reformer Sant Gadge Baba whose mission was focused on cleanliness in community spaces.

He wandered from village to village, wearing his food pan upturned on his head & carrying his trademark broom. When he entered a village, he would instantly start cleaning the gutters & roads of the village.

People started joining him in his cleaning activity. He educated people against blind faiths & rituals. He called it belief cleansing. He linked cleanliness to true spirituality.

Personal hygiene comes from personal motives but hygiene and cleanliness in community spaces needs lofty motives. Clean community spaces have personal benefits for everyone: they bring along joy, reduce stress, create a healthy environment, make us responsible and respectful to the shared resources.

Cleanliness must be our daily design
Common spaces must sparkle all the time!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Futile pursuit

It is quite a common sight to see dogs chase vehicles that pass by. Once an amused observer asked a dog owner, "Do you think your dog is ever going to catch a car?" The owner coolly replied, "That is not what worries me. What bothers me is what he would do with the car if he ever caught one."

So often, so many of us behave like that dog who pursues a meaningless goal. And since success eludes us, we keep getting agitated and stressed out. Eventually pursuit itself becomes the main occupation while the thing being pursued remains consistently elusive.

For everything we set off to pursue in life, it would be better if we ask ourselves the fundamental questions of the relevance, the need and the worthiness of the goal that we chase. For every pursuit, we should be clear about what we would do when the pursuit ends in a result.

Futile pursuit is an act that merits an avoid

Make sure that your destination is not a void!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Reason

Reason enables human beings to think, understand and make sense of the world around them. It's the faculty behind our ability to analyze, evaluate and make informed decisions. It is the foundation of critical thinking, problem-solving and intellectual growth.

Reason helps us distinguish between truth and falsehood. By using logic and evidence, we can evaluate arguments, identify biases and arrive at conclusions grounded in reality. Reason is particularly important in today's world, where misinformation and disinformation spreads easily and quickly.

Reason helps us weigh the pros and cons of different options, make informed decisions, and solve complex problems. Whether it's deciding on a career path, evaluating a business proposal, or navigating a difficult relationship, reason is essential for making sound judgments in personal and professional lives.

It is pertinent to note that reason is a key driver of innovation and progress. By questioning existing assumptions and pushing the boundaries of what's possible, we develop new ideas, technologies and solutions that improve our lives and the world around us.

However, reason is not always straightforward. Our prejudices and cultural conditioning can cloud our judgment, leading us astray. That's why it's essential to cultivate critical thinking skills, seek out diverse perspectives and remain open to new information and ideas.

navigate the complexities of life, every season

unlock your full potential by embracing reason

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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Productivity Paradox

As a Chef, when Ryan Semelhago would step into his kitchen, he would find his team in a flurry of activity. He would smile and tell them 'Don't DNLB'. DNLB meant 'Do Nothing yet Look Busy'.

In today's fast paced, competitive world, productivity is king. We are expected to optimize workflows, prioritize tasks and attain goals. Pretending to be productive is a common occurrence.

Why do we pretend to be productive? Fear of judgment, pressure to perform and the desire for validation are top reasons. In some cases, it's also about avoiding actual work or responsibility.

The problem with pretending to be productive is that it can lead to burnout, decreased motivation, and a lack of real progress. It's a short-term fix with long-term consequences.

Pretending to be productive might provide temporary relief, but true productivity comes from focusing on meaningful work and being honest about your capabilities.

Pretending to hustle in a hurry and posing as busy

Productivity Paradox makes output difficult not easy

~ Pravin K Sabnis

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ON REPUBLIC DAY

here's a poem written on this day in 2007

my country’s flag flies full mast to full-throated singing and cheer

it’s great to have a public holiday… please pass on some more beer!

let school kids do the drill... national anthem is beyond us to sing

Independence put out foreigners… now elected leaders do worse things!

the pathetic politician waxes eloquent in his superficial sermon

puffed up chests will ease, Republic Day is just another occasion!

you see, it really isn’t something to be bothered about…

in my country’s consciousness, democracy is plagued by doubt!

I can rattle off the problems and fail to be part of the solution

it is sad but true that patriotism is just a plastic emotion!

but then, why is that when India wins that rises in my heart a cheer?

and why is it that when India loses that I succumb to my tears?

a foreigner’s abusive words may make me see red…

but, indeed for my country, I prefer to play dead!

I maintain my stoic silence as my nation is raped and razed

it is just a piece of land… my behaviour remains unfazed!

so what if I am a man of honour, so what if I talk the lofty talk

how can I forgive myself when I can’t do the patriotic walk?

we have to take the initiative, by each let this be heard

call it saving ourselves; call it patriotism or any other word!

don’t wait for someone to begin, it really starts with me…

to save my land, its people and every threatened tree!

they are so few… those who grab, loot and terrorise

we are so many and stronger… if only together we rise!

Republic Day belongs to us… we the public that is eager

to do what it takes to secure our country’s future….

Republic Day is a time to make the commitment again

to do what needs to be done to pull my country out of the drain…

love for our country should never be an occasional intention…

love for our country is when we speak through hands-on action…

let each moment be where, together we walk the united way

let each day be celebrated as our country’s Republic Day!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

 

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