Can you?

Often in my interactions with an audience, I ask them to raise their hands if in affirmation with my questions. The question is simple: Can you sing? Very few persons put up their hands.

Then I expand the question: Can you sing the ‘Happy Birthday’ song? Can you sing the national anthem? Can you sing ‘Hum honge kamyaab’ (the version of ‘we shall overcome’)? All put up their hands to confirm that they can sing!

The question posed in the same instance is understood differently by different persons! Some view it as a question of being able to simply sing and the others as a question of being able to skilfully sing as well as the ones they view as capable to sing.

In the first instance there is no burden of comparison. There is simple understanding that one can sing. May be one cannot sing as well as others but the question was more about one’s willingness and basic beliefs.

When posed the question, ‘Can you?’ we must be open minded and answer it is a straight question. We must not judge our capability in context with a better performer. We must declare our ability to do what we do so well by saying, ‘Yes I can!’

‘Can you’… if the question began
The answer should be ‘Yes I Can’!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

As you please

My father, K N Sabnis was a great influence on my perspectives in life. During our childhood, he once offered to serve ‘English Tea’ in the evening. My brother and me rushed back home, during our break while playing. We were disappointed to see a scene far below our high expectations.

We expected some exotic form of tea. But we found our regular tea waiting in separate containers as tea, milk and sugar. We had to mix the three items in a cup and stir it to prepare our cup of tea. When asked about the difference from the regular, he smiled and said, ‘you get to make your own cup as per your wish!’

‘As you please’ is a wonderful phrase that indicates the right to choose and get what one wishes for. In an increasingly mechanical world, it offers options based on needs and wants. It offers discretion beyond the single choice of uniformity. It empowers the individual’s power of free will.

So often, so many of us offer no choice to the recipient of our gift. So often, so many of us refrain from disclosing our preference when something is forced upon us. Choice is eventually about options and the freedom to select as you please.

Choice is also about onus. It is about taking ownership of one’s needs and wants. It is about being sensitive to the needs and wants of others, instead of forcing uniformity. It is about allowing others to make their cup as they please! It is about insisting on exercising the choice to make your own cup as you please!

As free will and onus increase
Make your cup… as you please!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

India

Some 20 years ago, Panaji Jaycees had arranged a talk by Placido D’Souza a former foreign services officer. After his talk, the floor was opened for questions. Since nobody was asking him any questions, the Chairman called out my name. I asked him, ‘How do you project the image of India to the foreigners?’

In such situations, when forced to ask questions we tend to ask queries that we have answers to. If I were asked the same question, I would have waxed eloquently about our great heritage, our rich diversity, our impressive history, our great culture, our heroes, so on and so forth…

But his answer was an eye-opener… Mr D’Souza said, ‘We project India as the land of the white revolution (milk), green revolution (agriculture), telecom revolution…’ He was basically talking about verifiable achievements from recent history instead of over glorified generalisations from the distant past.

We depend on a distant past to justify our pride in our country… But if we connect to the real achievements that are going on, we connect to the present. We must also accept and overcome our shortcomings. The past, good and bad, tells us where we have come from. But our response now, determines where we will go.

We need to identify our role (in the present) to write the script (of the future) of India. We must choose to be sincere, sensitive and responsive citizens. On every surface we walk… to every person we meet… in every situation we encounter… may we play a positive proactive role for our India!

We cannot rest on real or illusory history
India needs us to act NOW for posterity!

~ Pravin K Sabnis

Friend

The first Sunday of August is occasion for wishing friends on social media. Friendship Day was started by the greeting card industry. However with the spread of social networking sites, the greetings have grown with the copy-paste forwards. The sentiment may be well-intentioned but it may not reflect true relationships.

In the virtual world, the emotion is sometimes one-sided, sometimes pretence, sometimes self-centred and sometimes it is a craving to belong to the trend. It is a race to get more virtual connections than one’s colleagues in the virtual world. There is a symbiotic relationship to over praise and use superlatives.

Of course, there are many genuine friends who may use the occasion to celebrate their bond, but they would do so even without occasion. There are instances of social media strengthening the bonds of friendship. However it is pertinent to note that there are many more factors than mere declarations on friendship day.

Friends find reason to create moments to breathe life into their relationship. They do not pay superficial lip-service. They choose to share joys and sorrows, good and bad times with their friends. Friendship is about cooperative and supportive behaviour between persons. It involves acceptance, affection as well as trustworthiness.

You cannot really force someone to be your friend. But, you can choose to be true friends with the person who you want as friend. Being worthy is about being dependable, showing affection, sharing and caring. And all these must be done in the real world in real ways in real space… not just virtual!

If I am a worthy friend in every way
Every day will be a friendship day!

~ Pravin K Sabnis