Blessing?

In my training programs for teachers or trainers, leaders or managers; I start with a wish, ‘May you get audience like you!’ And then I add that my wish could be a blessing or curse depending on their attitude reflected in their actions towards the one communicating with them.

The loaded blessing implies that if they are positively responsive to what comes before them, the boon sought that they received a similarly positive response from the audience to their presentations. However if they were indifferent or negative in their response, the curse wished for a similar negative response from the audience to their presentation.

So often, so many of us decry the passive or regressive response of our listeners. However, it is pertinent to ask ourselves whether we are culprits to similar behaviour when we are on the other side. When we switch roles, we must choose to be what we expected the others to be when they were cast in the same role that we have now assumed.

If we want others to listen to us, we must be good listeners when it is our turn to do so. If we seek responsive participation, we too must be enthusiastically proactive in our role as participants. If we seek applause in the right places, we too must be generous in our appreciation when it is merited.

For the blessing to be a true boon, not curse, we must choose to be better at our behaviour which is worthy of the same high standards that we set for others. It is said so well that ‘lessons are meant to be learnt, not taught!’ We must imbibe the attitude of being to others what we want them to be to us!

Let’s BE BETTER at keeping the blessing not the curse
by being to others what we want them to be to us!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Free Choice

‘Any customer can have a car painted any colour that he wants, so long as it is black.’ - Choice offered on the Ford Model T.

In the late 16th century, Thomas Hobson rented out horses to university students at Cambridge. The students picked up their favourite steeds, and hence a few of Hobson's horses were overworked. To remedy the situation, Hobson began a rotation system, giving the customer the choice of taking the mount nearest the stable door or none at all. This rule became known as ‘Hobson's choice’.

Although, the term is used to mean ‘no choice at all’, Hobson’s choice is not an illusion of choice. Also, it is not the same as Morton’s fork which is a choice between two unfavourable options. It is a free choice in which only one option is offered. A person may refuse to take that option. The choice is therefore between taking the option or not. It is about aligning with either of the two alternatives: take it or leave it!

So often, we find ourselves in a vise over a situation of free choice. We feel cornered as we think we have no choice. However, it is pertinent to note that every road offers the option to walk or not. If we consider the option of opting out, we are liberated from the situation of single choice. Many people have made a successful paradigm shift in their lives and careers because they chose to be better at understanding the second option in free choice.

To BE BETTER at tackling the free choice…
have the courage to take or leave the vise!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Judgemental

Five men lost their way and were forced to spend the night in the dark woods. One of them heard a twig snap, and went over to see what it was that was walking by. He walked right into the side of an elephant. He put out his arms to either side, but all he could feel was the big body of the elephant. He said, ‘I think I have walked into a wall.’ A second man grabbed hold of the animal's trunk and shouted, ‘This isn't a wall. This is a snake!’

The third man touched the animal's tail. ‘This is not a wall or snake. You are both wrong. It is a rope.’ The fourth man decided that someone should really get to the bottom of things. So he crouched down on all fours and felt around the elephant's legs. ‘My dear friends," explained the fourth man, ‘This is no wall or snake or rope. What we have here is four tree trunks’

The fifth man was not so quick to jump to conclusions. He walked up to the front and felt the animal's two long tusks. ‘It seems to me that this object is made up of two swords,’ said the fifth man. Suddenly, there was a stroke of lightning in the sky and the elephant trumpeted a fearful cry. Now, the five men could see and hear the strange object that they had difficulty in identifying.

Surely, we find ourselves in similar predicaments where our minds are so prejudiced that quite often we jump to conclusions. We need to open our eyes, ears and our mind… both literally and in spirit. We need to unlearn our prejudices and ensure an open approach to fresh learning.

It is a human tendency to be ‘judgmental’… and it is this very tendency that obscures our vision, cloaks our listening and masks our learning. Before we speak or voice our ‘opinions’ we must ensure that we ‘understand’ all facets before we take a ‘stand’. Imagination is good, but if we are not to stray from reality, we must be better at ensuring that we are not judgemental!

To BE BETTER at avoiding being judgmental…
Focus beyond perception to be developmental!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Find Alternatives

‘For every ailment under the sun,

there is a remedy or there is none.
If there is one, find it…

 If there is none, never mind it!’

The above limerick reflected my attitudes and approaches in life as a teenager. It was sure-fire way to escape stress by just running away from the problem, if it could not be solved. This also indicated contentment with a singular solution to any problem. It would often mean getting stuck to mediocre static solutions.

However, years later, it is obvious that single answers often mask the appropriate alternatives. In the quest to come up with the solution, we do not get to the root of the problem. The first resolution ends up being the final one. Effectiveness is sacrificed at the altar of speed. With this new realisation, the last line of the verse of influence was unlearnt and revised as follows:

‘For every ailment under the sun,

there is a remedy or there is none.
If there is one, never mind it; 

if there is none, go ahead and find it

Truly innovative people are ones who search for better alternatives, never mind even if they already have a working answer to a problem! They refuse to be complacent and they constantly seek to be better at what they do.

Let’s BE BETTER at escaping complacency...

By finding alternatives that fuel efficiency!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Giving

Once a woman, while wandering in the mountains, found a precious stone in a stream. Later she met a hungry traveller and when she opened her bag to share her food, he saw the precious stone. Instinctively, he asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveller left, rejoicing since he knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. 

However, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. ‘I've been thinking,’ he said. ‘I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone.’

Surely there is no greater personal wealth than the attitude of spontaneous giving. While we may share sometimes some of our resources or some of our money, very few can easily pass on what is most precious in our possession. Such unbridled giving needs a large heart that does not clutch on to valuables.

We need to be better at letting go of our self-absorbed and self-seeking attitude that prevents us from the act of passing our ideas, resources or opportunities. It is pertinent to note that the hallmark of leadership is in the ability to pass on opportunity to team members. To grow in life we must learn to give and share sans inhibitions.

However, it is not enough to generously give. Too often, we hope for a reciprocal reversal of giving by the one who has received from us. Such expectations fetter the decision to give. But when we give unconditionally, we liberate ourselves of the shackles of self-centred anticipation of receiving. And such an attitude is more valuable than any other riches!

Let’s BE BETTER at unconditional giving...

For true liberation lies in generous sharing!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.