TRIPLE FILTER

Once a scholar was accosted by a person who said, ‘Do you know what I have just heard about your friend?’ The wise one interrupted him, ‘before you proceed, let’s apply the triple filter test... the first filter is Truth; are you sure that what you are about to tell is true?’ ‘Well... actually I have just heard it’, the man admitted. Next the mystic applied the filter of Goodness and Usefulness... ‘Is what you are going to tell me about my friend something good?’ ‘Is what you want to tell going to be useful to me?’ When both the replies were in the negative, the sage queried, ‘if what you want to tell me is neither true, nor good, nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?’ It is hard to find a filter that does not make something better. The above filter is attributed to Socrates as well as some Abbasid scholar. But while we do not know whether the story is true; it is definitely useful and carries a good message. Every time we talk about somebody or something, it would be better to use the Triple-Filter-Test. So often we are carriers of careless gossip that would never pass through the Filter-Test. We come across scandalous information that we feel compelled to pass on to others and we end up causing irrevocable damage to reputations, relationships and lives. Hence it would be better to follow the simplified counsel by Thumper’s parents in the film ‘Bambi’: ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all!’ We must BE BETTER at using the Triple Filter Test If not true, good or useful; lay the rumour to rest! - Pravin K. Sabnis

PLAY MANY PARTS

‘All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts…’ – William Shakespeare (from ‘As You Like It’) The Bard’s drama dialogue refers to changing roles played across the biggest script of all – LIFE – an account of the highs and lows, of talents and choices, of careers and goals. So often we are mesmerized by self-absorbed dreams and fears of what lies ahead that we are unable to see beyond the illusion. We watch the smoke and mirrors and special effects – floods, famines, wars, epidemics - that recur in our world, but we move on playing one track roles within a self-centred comfort zone. We do have the free will to choose at every moment how we will script and play out each scene. We determine if the script is going to be a tragedy or a comedy. Every different decision makes a different scenario play itself out. This feature gives us the illusion of chance, chaos, and even fear –components of any good script. After all, the script doesn’t make the actor, the actor makes the script. Our attitude toward the roles we play is everything. The best players demand challenging roles. The best performers play many parts that include not only scripting, directing and performing; but also supporting, responding, appreciating and cheering other roles. For the world to be better as larger stage, we must be better at playing many parts. We must BE BETTER at playing many parts… Every stage requires players with a large heart! - Pravin K. Sabnis

ALTER ATTITUDE

A woman approached her friend for some poison to kill her hostile mother-in-law. Her friend cautioned her, ‘since, everyone knows that you hate her, it will be obvious that you killed her. Instead if you give her this slow poison every day, she will die in six months. In the meanwhile behave as if you love her. When she dies no one will suspect you.’

The woman started giving the poison to her mother-in-law; at the same time, she acted as if she loved her. Shortly, her mother-in-law began to reciprocate her love and caring attitude. Now, the woman no longer wanted her to die. She rushed to her friend to ask for an antidote. Her friend calmly replied, ‘what I gave you is harmless. I knew that if you changed your behaviour to your mother-in-law, she would reciprocate with positive feelings towards you.’

Surely, attitude is difficult to alter. But behaviour can be easily changed. A changed stimulus invites a transformed response. A renovated response gives rise to positive experiences which lead to positive outlook and affirmative thinking. And affirmative thinking leads to a positively altered attitude.

Mahatma Gandhi said it so well, ‘be the change you want to see in the world!’ So often, we crib about the negatives in others. But the attitude of others is also impacted by our own attitude that is reflected in our behaviour towards them. Surely, it would be better to alter our own behaviour to discover positive impacts that eventually result in transformed thinking and attitude on both sides!

To alter the attitude of the other seems wrong…
BE BETTER at altering your behavioural song!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

GRASPABLE

The Rotary Club of Panjim Riviera annually organises a 4-day camp for the visually challenged. The schedule includes learning of employability skills, fun activities and showcasing the talent of the campers. Upon being invited to conduct a session, I knew my greatest challenge was to ensure that my communication was graspable to my participants.

The experience of work with physically challenged, hearing impaired teams and ‘special’ persons taught me sensitivity, patience and the effective use of body language. But here the additional challenge was to use language that is unambiguous. The following choices helped keep unintelligibility at bay:

• Always identify yourself as well as others by name.
• Do not presume comprehension, confirm it at all times.
• Talk about how and what you are doing so that they can truly see.
• Give clear directions and avoid ambiguous ‘here’ and ‘there’
• Ask if help is needed, do not take for granted.
• Declare that activity is over instead of just moving away.

Amusingly, the above tips help to be better at clear communication with not just sight-impaired persons, but all others as well. Surely, the ability to grasp is greatly dependent on the clarity of graspable communication. And the primary onus rests with the communicator to convey what emerges from the out-of-sight confines of the individual mind.

Let’s BE BETTER at graspable communication
So that our listeners can grasp a clear vision!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

SINKING SCHOLAR

An old fable showcased the scene of a renowned scholar being ferried across a wide river. To impress the boatman, the scholar described his various acquisitions in varied learning. However, when he learnt that the boatman had been only to basic school, he declared, ‘You have wasted half your life by not going to college.’

Mid-stream, the boatman asked him, ‘Sir, did you learn to swim?’ The scholar replied that he never got the time for such things as he was pursuing greater knowledge. The boatman calmly replied, ‘well, in that case, it seems your entire life may go to waste… we are sinking!’

So often, so many of us take undue pride in our qualifications and eventually we deride the know-how of those who may not have certifications such as ours. True knowledge should bring in humility and an open mind towards other learning competencies. Arrogance leads to oversight of our own adequacies.

Learning from books can bring up only so much learning. We need to be better at practical wisdom, too. Of course, scholars would never survive without the handy knowledge possessed by those who toil. After all, earthy wisdom combines knowledge with a useful skill and the right attitude. And the right attitude is one which recognises every competency with the dignity it rightfully deserves.

No lesser are those who own a different proficiency...
Let’s BE BETTER at respecting every competency!

- Pravin K. Sabnis