These are the words that can either heal the other or hurt the one who utters it. We say it when someone spills or breaks something. When a friend cancels at the last minute. When someone apologizes for something that actually hurt.
We say it because it is easy, because it smooths the surface. We want to be seen as kind or we may want to move on and beyond. However while saying 'it is okay' is a powerful act, it should not be misdirected.
It can be the most generous thing to do. It is forgiveness without a lecture. It is telling someone: You are human. You made a mistake, and it is okay. When someone is drowning in guilt, it can be the rope that releases both persons.
The problem begins when we say it even when it is not okay. You do it to avoid conflict. To keep the peace at the cost of our own peace. You end up teaching people that your boundaries are negotiable.
We must learn to say it honestly. Saying 'it is okay' should be a conscious choice, not a reflex. It is okay to not be okay. And it is a joy when it truly is okay.
Choose to say or not to say
Those lovely words 'it is okay'
~ Pravin K Sabnis
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