"You'd turn out this way too, if you had a childhood like mine" was the answer two brothers gave whenever asked why their lives turned out the way they did. They shared a dreadful childhood. Their mother died young and their father was an abusive alcoholic who was violent with his children. Their nurturing was in the midst of the worst of family conditions. Obviously, all this had a huge impact on their eventual life scripts.
One brother could not cope with school and dropped out. He involved in various businesses and went through many lows. Like his father, he took to excessive drinking. After marriage, he would shout at and beat up his wife and his children, just like his father did. An unfortunate story was being repeated all over again.
His other brother too dropped out from school. He joined the trade of a mechanic and began to earn a decent living. He enrolled at a night school and went on to educate himself. He was a sensitive and supportive husband to his wife and a caring and doting father to his children.
Both brothers could not change their terrible past. Yet their diverse life scripts are a pointer that our life is eventually about the choice we make. While one brother succumbed to the dead weight of his past, the other chose to learn from his past and ensure that it was not repeated.
Pedro says, “the past tells where you come from, but it does not tell where you will go”. Where we go is decided not by our past but our response to it. Life is the script that we write by our actions and attitude. If we want our life to be better, we must go beyond the burdens of the past.
Whether our past was tense or whether it was the best…
Our life must go beyond to BE BETTER by laying it to rest!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, November 23, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
DOOMSDAY RETURNS
“I worry that, especially as the Millennium edges nearer, pseudo-science and superstition will seem year by year more tempting, the siren song of unreason more sonorous and attractive.” – Dr Carl Sagan
Dr Sagan’s apprehensions about modern gullibility continue to resonate in the present millennium as well. A latest disaster film makes specious claims interlaced with purportedly scientific message to suggest that the world would end in 2012. A fictitious website (set up by the producers of the film) lists the Nibiru collision, a galactic alignment and increased solar activity among its possible doomsday scenarios.
David Morrison of NASA received over 1000 inquiries from people who thought the website was genuine. He has condemned it, saying "I've even had cases of teenagers writing to me saying they are contemplating suicide because they don't want to see the world end. I think when you lie on the Internet and scare children in order to make a buck that is ethically wrong."
It is necessary to put the current hype about Mayan calendars and doomsday predictions in context. Though most prophecies of doom come from a religious perspective, the secular crowd has caused its share of scares as well. But it is pertinent to note that the one thing the doomsday scenarios tend to share in common is that ‘they don't come to pass!’
Yet the gullible continue to accept the incredulous. And yet, we do not pay heed to real imminent problems like global warming, pollution pressure, growing economic disparity and skewed developmental policies. It would be better if we trash doomsday predictions and instead set right our own irresponsible actions that may spell doomsday for the future generations.
In our real world there is much to be done; there is much to fear…
It will BE BETTER if we let go of the worry of a fake-doomsday year!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Dr Sagan’s apprehensions about modern gullibility continue to resonate in the present millennium as well. A latest disaster film makes specious claims interlaced with purportedly scientific message to suggest that the world would end in 2012. A fictitious website (set up by the producers of the film) lists the Nibiru collision, a galactic alignment and increased solar activity among its possible doomsday scenarios.
David Morrison of NASA received over 1000 inquiries from people who thought the website was genuine. He has condemned it, saying "I've even had cases of teenagers writing to me saying they are contemplating suicide because they don't want to see the world end. I think when you lie on the Internet and scare children in order to make a buck that is ethically wrong."
It is necessary to put the current hype about Mayan calendars and doomsday predictions in context. Though most prophecies of doom come from a religious perspective, the secular crowd has caused its share of scares as well. But it is pertinent to note that the one thing the doomsday scenarios tend to share in common is that ‘they don't come to pass!’
Yet the gullible continue to accept the incredulous. And yet, we do not pay heed to real imminent problems like global warming, pollution pressure, growing economic disparity and skewed developmental policies. It would be better if we trash doomsday predictions and instead set right our own irresponsible actions that may spell doomsday for the future generations.
In our real world there is much to be done; there is much to fear…
It will BE BETTER if we let go of the worry of a fake-doomsday year!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, November 9, 2009
SINGLE STORY
“The single story creates stereotypes. And the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete.” - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
In the early 80’s, a single story was spread about the Sikh community in India … that all of them were violent terrorists deserving to be shot down by the Army. This single story sought to condemn an entire community which actually carries many dimensions of humanism, humour, entrepreneurship and infectious enthusiasm. Today, though that vicious single story of the Sikhs is no longer a part of our consciousness… the actions and attitudes born of it have left behind a bloody trail of brutality and killing.
Single stories give rise to stereotypes and prejudices that lead us to opinions ranging from contempt to hatred, from false pride to a negative sense of history, from insensitivity to irrationality. Stories cannot be just painted in black and white with shades of grey. They must reflect the entire assortment of facts, contradictions and possibilities. The hue has to reflect the human diversity in its multiple dimensions and its many stories.
Nigerian writer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, makes the pertinent point that the single, stereotyped story flattens the experience to a singular and dangerously-damaging dimension. She insists that multiple stories matter, “Stories have been used to dispossess and to malign. But stories can also be used to empower, and to humanize. Stories can break the dignity of a people. But stories can also repair that broken dignity.” And it is such multiple stories that can save us from the danger of a single story! (http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html)
To BE BETTER at breaking the stereotype …
We must go beyond the single story hype!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
In the early 80’s, a single story was spread about the Sikh community in India … that all of them were violent terrorists deserving to be shot down by the Army. This single story sought to condemn an entire community which actually carries many dimensions of humanism, humour, entrepreneurship and infectious enthusiasm. Today, though that vicious single story of the Sikhs is no longer a part of our consciousness… the actions and attitudes born of it have left behind a bloody trail of brutality and killing.
Single stories give rise to stereotypes and prejudices that lead us to opinions ranging from contempt to hatred, from false pride to a negative sense of history, from insensitivity to irrationality. Stories cannot be just painted in black and white with shades of grey. They must reflect the entire assortment of facts, contradictions and possibilities. The hue has to reflect the human diversity in its multiple dimensions and its many stories.
Nigerian writer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, makes the pertinent point that the single, stereotyped story flattens the experience to a singular and dangerously-damaging dimension. She insists that multiple stories matter, “Stories have been used to dispossess and to malign. But stories can also be used to empower, and to humanize. Stories can break the dignity of a people. But stories can also repair that broken dignity.” And it is such multiple stories that can save us from the danger of a single story! (http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html)
To BE BETTER at breaking the stereotype …
We must go beyond the single story hype!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, October 19, 2009
TERRORISM
The annual general body of the Parent Teachers Association provides occasion to voice concerns. At my daughter’s school, a parent, Mr. Zaidi spoke on the threatening trepidation of terrorism. He made a pertinent point that terrorists were not just those who endangered lives… they included all those whose diminutive acts led to eventual destruction and devastation.
Zaidi spelt out the seemingly innocuous acts that paved the path to peril. Motorists who exceeded speed limit restrictions endangered the safety of the bridge and therefore they were indulging in terrorism. Citizens who did not participate in the responsible management of garbage were pushing society to a deadly epidemic and hence they were fostering a terrorist act. Similarly, environment polluters were jeopardizing lives and foisting terrorism.
Zaidi’s analysis made a pertinent point. Terrorism arises in a self-centred mind clouded by a criminal contempt for collective responsibilities… where narrow motives eclipse the common good. Every time, we involve in acts that eventually lead to the endangerment of lives, we are becoming active contributors to the inhuman acts of terrorism. More often than not, it is the governing authorities and promoters of irresponsible and self-interested ‘development’ that contribute to the build-up of deadly acts of destruction.
However, it is not enough to be a good person… we must be better at ensuring zero tolerance for all acts that lead to eventual terrorism. We must ask ourselves: Do we directly or indirectly support those who in the name of development wreck destruction of lives, lands and livelihoods? Do we overtly or covertly support religious fundamentalists who use the cloak of spiritualism to promote hate and contempt that eventually leads to rioting and violence? Or do we just stand and stare in insensitive indifference?
To BE BETTER at tackling the menace of terrorism…
Let’s connect citizenship with responsive humanism!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Zaidi spelt out the seemingly innocuous acts that paved the path to peril. Motorists who exceeded speed limit restrictions endangered the safety of the bridge and therefore they were indulging in terrorism. Citizens who did not participate in the responsible management of garbage were pushing society to a deadly epidemic and hence they were fostering a terrorist act. Similarly, environment polluters were jeopardizing lives and foisting terrorism.
Zaidi’s analysis made a pertinent point. Terrorism arises in a self-centred mind clouded by a criminal contempt for collective responsibilities… where narrow motives eclipse the common good. Every time, we involve in acts that eventually lead to the endangerment of lives, we are becoming active contributors to the inhuman acts of terrorism. More often than not, it is the governing authorities and promoters of irresponsible and self-interested ‘development’ that contribute to the build-up of deadly acts of destruction.
However, it is not enough to be a good person… we must be better at ensuring zero tolerance for all acts that lead to eventual terrorism. We must ask ourselves: Do we directly or indirectly support those who in the name of development wreck destruction of lives, lands and livelihoods? Do we overtly or covertly support religious fundamentalists who use the cloak of spiritualism to promote hate and contempt that eventually leads to rioting and violence? Or do we just stand and stare in insensitive indifference?
To BE BETTER at tackling the menace of terrorism…
Let’s connect citizenship with responsive humanism!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, October 12, 2009
EMPATHY
Our ability to connect with another’s predicament can vary from insensitive indifference to responsive understanding called empathy. Empathy is distinct from pity, sympathy and emotional contagion. Pity is ‘feeling sorry’ for someone in trouble and in need of help. Sympathy is feeling compassion or concern for another, the wish to see them better off or happier. Emotional contagion is when we imitatively 'catch' the emotions that others are showing without necessarily recognizing this is happening.
In 1993, just before Diwali, the Latur earthquake uprooted lives, families and homes. All of us felt pity and sympathy for the affected people. Some of us joined the emotional contagion of donating money and material. But the most valuable lesson came from the families who chose to scale down Diwali celebrations to the bare minimum… as they would have if tragedy were to strike their own home. The money was instead spent for relief work.
Andre Gide queried aptly, ‘Are you then unable to recognize unless it has the same sound as yours?’ Empathy is about recognizing the ‘sound’ of another’s experience even if it is unlike any of ours. It is about putting oneself into the psychological frame of reference of another, so that the other person’s feelings, thinking and actions are understood.
However, empathy should not be an occasional emotion… to be unravelled only in times of great tragedy. For instance, we cuddle contradictions if we practise empathy as a response to ecological calamities while ignoring the fact that they are a result of man-made decisions that trigger the disaster. Hence, we must hear the ‘sounds’ of struggle of people who strive to save their lives, lands and livelihoods. Real empathy is about consistency in our actions to be responsible and responsive human beings.
To BE BETTER at the attitude of empathy…
Let’s move beyond situational sympathy!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
In 1993, just before Diwali, the Latur earthquake uprooted lives, families and homes. All of us felt pity and sympathy for the affected people. Some of us joined the emotional contagion of donating money and material. But the most valuable lesson came from the families who chose to scale down Diwali celebrations to the bare minimum… as they would have if tragedy were to strike their own home. The money was instead spent for relief work.
Andre Gide queried aptly, ‘Are you then unable to recognize unless it has the same sound as yours?’ Empathy is about recognizing the ‘sound’ of another’s experience even if it is unlike any of ours. It is about putting oneself into the psychological frame of reference of another, so that the other person’s feelings, thinking and actions are understood.
However, empathy should not be an occasional emotion… to be unravelled only in times of great tragedy. For instance, we cuddle contradictions if we practise empathy as a response to ecological calamities while ignoring the fact that they are a result of man-made decisions that trigger the disaster. Hence, we must hear the ‘sounds’ of struggle of people who strive to save their lives, lands and livelihoods. Real empathy is about consistency in our actions to be responsible and responsive human beings.
To BE BETTER at the attitude of empathy…
Let’s move beyond situational sympathy!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, October 5, 2009
ART OF DYING
“I have seen two types of persons... some die silently, others die shouting… and now I saw the third kind” – from the film ‘Rang de Basanti’
When he was born on 17 February 1930 in Calicut, Kerala, the astrologers refused to cast a horoscope for him. They predicted that he would die soon. But Basava Premanand went on to live an inspirationally great life of 80 years till he died on 4 October 2009 at his residence in Podnur, Tamil Nadu.
In the 1940s, Premanand quit school to take part in Quit India Movement. He spent the next 7 years in the newly started Sri-Steila Gurukula. He started the Indian Committee for scientific investigation of Claims of the Paranormal; moved around India explaining the tricks behind miracles and superstitious psychic phenomena and founded FIRA (Federation of Indian Rationalist Associations) which has more than 68 organizations in 26 states in India. Besides authoring 36 books, he also edited the monthly ‘Indian Skeptic’ with articles on the scientific investigation of apparently paranormal occurrences.
Premanand has conducted workshops explaining about 150 miracles from different parts of the world. British film maker, Robert Eagle shot Premanand displaying and teaching many supposedly supernatural stunts such as levitation, flesh piercing and live burials in his documentary, "Guru Busters". He was given a fellowship of National Council for Science and Technology Communication (NCSTC) for his efforts to spread scientific awareness.
In 2006, Premanand was diagnosed to be on the threshold of death due to extreme cancer of the stomach. Though doctors insisted on an emergency operation, Premanand went off instead to search for a contractor to build his dream project - a museum on Method of Science. He handed over the money and came back for an operation that was unable to negate the shadow of death. Yet, Premanand’s enthusiasm never diminished and the project was inaugurated on 5 March 2009 in Podnur.
As his health worsened, Premanand’s detractors began a malicious campaign that he had renounced his rationalism. The fiery sceptic called for his colleagues, Dr Narendra Nayak and Somu Rao and wrote a “declaration of attitude and temperament’ wherein he challenged the rumours and urged his colleagues in the movement to keep working for the cause of rationalism and humanism.
The news of an impeding death has frozen dreams in many a mind… people get sentimental and indulge in worrying… they look at smaller concerns, most surrounding self-interests… tough personalities slow down after being told that they possess some life threatening ailment. But undoubtedly, Premanand has taught us the art of dying… of never giving up on living!
Premanand has shown us the way to BE BETTER at the art of living…
We must move on faster with our life’s dreams when pursued by dying!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
When he was born on 17 February 1930 in Calicut, Kerala, the astrologers refused to cast a horoscope for him. They predicted that he would die soon. But Basava Premanand went on to live an inspirationally great life of 80 years till he died on 4 October 2009 at his residence in Podnur, Tamil Nadu.
In the 1940s, Premanand quit school to take part in Quit India Movement. He spent the next 7 years in the newly started Sri-Steila Gurukula. He started the Indian Committee for scientific investigation of Claims of the Paranormal; moved around India explaining the tricks behind miracles and superstitious psychic phenomena and founded FIRA (Federation of Indian Rationalist Associations) which has more than 68 organizations in 26 states in India. Besides authoring 36 books, he also edited the monthly ‘Indian Skeptic’ with articles on the scientific investigation of apparently paranormal occurrences.
Premanand has conducted workshops explaining about 150 miracles from different parts of the world. British film maker, Robert Eagle shot Premanand displaying and teaching many supposedly supernatural stunts such as levitation, flesh piercing and live burials in his documentary, "Guru Busters". He was given a fellowship of National Council for Science and Technology Communication (NCSTC) for his efforts to spread scientific awareness.
In 2006, Premanand was diagnosed to be on the threshold of death due to extreme cancer of the stomach. Though doctors insisted on an emergency operation, Premanand went off instead to search for a contractor to build his dream project - a museum on Method of Science. He handed over the money and came back for an operation that was unable to negate the shadow of death. Yet, Premanand’s enthusiasm never diminished and the project was inaugurated on 5 March 2009 in Podnur.
As his health worsened, Premanand’s detractors began a malicious campaign that he had renounced his rationalism. The fiery sceptic called for his colleagues, Dr Narendra Nayak and Somu Rao and wrote a “declaration of attitude and temperament’ wherein he challenged the rumours and urged his colleagues in the movement to keep working for the cause of rationalism and humanism.
The news of an impeding death has frozen dreams in many a mind… people get sentimental and indulge in worrying… they look at smaller concerns, most surrounding self-interests… tough personalities slow down after being told that they possess some life threatening ailment. But undoubtedly, Premanand has taught us the art of dying… of never giving up on living!
Premanand has shown us the way to BE BETTER at the art of living…
We must move on faster with our life’s dreams when pursued by dying!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
Monday, September 28, 2009
JOY OF GIVING
An ancient tale tells the story of woman who while wandering in the mountains, found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met a hungry traveler and when she opened her bag to share her food, he saw the precious stone. Instinctively, he asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing since he knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.
However, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. "I've been thinking," he said. "I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone."
Surely there is no greater personal asset than the joy that comes of giving. We may share sometimes some of our resources or some of our money. But we need to be better at giving. Like the women in the story, we must have the courage to share the most valuable – time, skills, knowledge and most importantly opportunity. It is all about letting go of our self-absorbed and self-seeking attitude that turns us away from the joy of giving…
Also, so many of us ‘give’ only after we ‘grab’. A plunderer’s charity has no meaning. The joy of giving must comes out of a clear choice to redeem ourselves in a world of inequity and imbalance. When we look in the mirror in the morning, we should be looking at a citizen who is responsible and responsive – some who is part of the solution, not part of the problem… someone who does not grab, but who indulges in the joy of giving.
To BE BETTER at the joy of giving…
We must let go of self-centred living!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
However, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. "I've been thinking," he said. "I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone."
Surely there is no greater personal asset than the joy that comes of giving. We may share sometimes some of our resources or some of our money. But we need to be better at giving. Like the women in the story, we must have the courage to share the most valuable – time, skills, knowledge and most importantly opportunity. It is all about letting go of our self-absorbed and self-seeking attitude that turns us away from the joy of giving…
Also, so many of us ‘give’ only after we ‘grab’. A plunderer’s charity has no meaning. The joy of giving must comes out of a clear choice to redeem ourselves in a world of inequity and imbalance. When we look in the mirror in the morning, we should be looking at a citizen who is responsible and responsive – some who is part of the solution, not part of the problem… someone who does not grab, but who indulges in the joy of giving.
To BE BETTER at the joy of giving…
We must let go of self-centred living!
- Pravin K. Sabnis
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