AGAPE

John Lee identified six basic styles of love that people use in their interpersonal relationships: Eros (romantic love), Ludus (love as a game or sport), Storge (friendship), Pragma (love driven by head, not heart), Mania (obsession) and Agape (selfless altruistic love). Agape is akin to caritas (charity) where the gift of love is sans any expectation.

Every 14th February, across the globe, the emotions of love are out on display. Flowers and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. The immensely popular Valentine's Day greeting cards have turned into a highly profitable industry. Some go on to celebrate other occasions, like birthdays, anniversaries, etc, to display their true love to their loved ones. But more often than not, Ludus and Pragma overrule Eros & Storge and Agape is at sea.

It is pertinent to note what happens on “non-occasion” days. It is back to “routine” for most… a routine that is mechanical and impersonal… a routine that finds little time to see, speak or listen to our loved ones… a routine that plays blind, deaf and dumb! Invariably we presuppose our loved ones and hence, we take them for granted. In the fast moving world, the expression of love has become a circumstantial commodity whose display is dictated only by occasions.

To be better at love, we must move from need-love to gift-love. The spirit of agape cannot be an occasional emotion. We must share quality time with the ones we claim to care about. It is about enquiring and listening to our loved ones rather than supposing and speaking. It is about wishing people with a smile in the morning, evening, night… every time we meet them (we are more likely to wish a stranger more often than one’s spouse or child).

The measure of love is to love without measure
Indulge in agape and as a human be better!

yours-in-agape
Pravin-da

NERO’S GUESTS

Nero fiddled while Rome burned – is an oft quoted statement that is not based on historical reality. However, the real fact of what happened after the burning of Rome remains out of our information. That dark incident was exposed by Magsaysay award winner, P Sainath while speaking at the D D Kosambi lecture series, in Goa.

After the ruin of Rome in the fire, the atmosphere was one of depression. The time was also one of rebellion. To deflect the attention from the incident, Nero hosted a lavish dinner party. The guest list was a virtual “who’s who” of Rome. The elite, the learned, the artists… everyone was invited. However, there was a problem of illumination. The torches were running short of oil. Nero ordered for his captive prisoners to be tied to the torches so that they could be the fuel for the torches.

Sainath said that Nero’s action though barbaric, was in keeping with his royal attitude of insensitivity. But, Nero’s guests who devoured the feast, despite the screams and the scene of this inhuman act, are the ones who are greater culprits. Not one of them raised a voice of protest. They just gorged! Sainath raised the question – who were Nero’s guests?

Neros’ guests were educated men of art. They were people who took pride in describing themselves as cultured persons. They were people like you and me. People living in comforts. People who get entry into the social circles of the powerful elite of politicians and businessman. We are Nero’s guests, partaking in the feast while the oppressed poor burn at the torches of injustice.

Indifference is said to be a greater crime than hatred. No matter what we do develop our lives, it is of no consequence if we kill our conscience. To be better as a human being is to connect better with our humanism. And humanism is all about standing up to the values of truth, justice and equality. To be better, we must be sensitive as well as responsive to what is happening around.

to BE BETTER as a human, shed the indifference and inaction…
Quit playing the Guest and stand up to Nero’s brutal actions!

Regards
Pravin-da

RECORDS

6.00 am. 26 January 2008. Mangalore.
Konkani Nirantari begins.
Eric Ozario leads his team in creating history of 40 hours of marathon singing and enters the Guinness Book of world records. They overtake the previous Brazilian record of 36 hours. Surely in the sometime of tomorrow, somebody else will break the new record too

We see old records being overtaken and new records being established. In cricket Bradman’s record of 29 centuries seemed unattainable till Gavaskar overtook it. Since then, Tendulkar has set the new record and Ponting seems in striking distance of breaking that, too… only until somebody else comes and overtakes him. Pole vaulter, Sergie Bubka kept breaking his own records and taking the bar higher!

So is breaking records all about bettering somebody else’s achievements? If we look at the above individuals you notice that their greatness remains undiminished even when their records are overtaken. This is so because they are seized with bettering their own previous best rather than that of others. Hence they race against their own performance and retain that unique quality that underlines a winning attitude.

Eric Ozario has been reinventing himself and setting new challenges for his team of Maand Sobhann. Since 1986 when the Sahitya Akademi awardee Chafra D'costa, Poet Melwyn Rodrigues and musician singer Eric Ozario started the Maand Sobhann as an initiative to nurture Konkani music, the team and the dream has only grown. Like the name Maand Sobhann which literally means Scenic Stage, they have engaged mega challenges in line with their lofty vision and mission.

It is the passion for newer experiments that transforms Eric and Maand Sobhann into inspiring winners! It is this attitude of Eric and his team that we need to applaud and embrace. The attitude of walking the path to BE BETTER than what we are in terms of our efforts, our challenges and our attitudes

Let’s BE BETTER than our previous best…
Instead of being seized of outdoing the rest!

Regards
Pravin-da

BISOCIATION

In 1971, the twin blade joined the single blade in the Gillette shaving razor. Then a pivot was added in 1977. Further a lubricating strip was attached. In the early 90s, springs were inserted to create the Sensor. The inclusion of microfins created the Excel. The addition of a third blade created the Mach3, battery power was supplemented to create M3 Power and last year Fusion came along with five blades.

Note that with every addition the value and the price increased too. Ditto for the original radio that became a two-in-one with the addition of a cassette player. A audio recorder was added, then a CD player, yet later a VCD player was inserted and then the DVD player too joined the ranks to create the multi-product sound system.

This practice of bringing together two things is called BISOCIATION. Arthur Koestler coined the term ‘bisociation’ in order to make a distinction between the routine skills of thinking on a single ‘plane’, as it were, and the creative act, which always operates on more than one plane.

Koestler stated that “every creative act involves bisociation, a process that brings together and combines previously unrelated ideas”. While association refers to previously established connections among ideas, bisociation involves making entirely new connections among ideas. Koestler’s definition addresses all forms of creativity, whether in design, art, science or humour.

To be better than we are we need to associate with bisociation in everything we do. That will ensure that we will be constantly innovating and approaching every routine situation with an open mind and a readiness to connect to the unconnected. It is pertinent to note that most successful bisociations have been rendered with already successful products. Hence even if something seems to be the best, it can always be better!

To BE BETTER we need to embrace bisociation…
Bringing two things together can result in innovation!

Regards
Pravin-da

POWERFUL?

A famous Zen story tells of the stonecutter who passed a wealthy merchant's house and craved to be powerful like him. To his great surprise, he transformed into one. Soon a high official passed by, and everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow before him. "How powerful that official is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be him!" Immediately his wish came true.

It was a hot summer day, so the official felt very uncomfortable. He looked up at the sun and wished to be the sun. However, when he became the sun, a huge black cloud obstructed him. He thought. "I wish that I could be powerful like the cloud!" Then he became the cloud only to be pushed around by the powerful wind. Immediately, he craved to be the wind! Then he became the wind.

After a while, he ran up against a huge, towering rock. He wished to be the rock and that’s what he became! Soon he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel and changing his very form. "What could be more powerful than I" he wondered. He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stonecutter!

So often, we rue our status and position. So often, we wish to be like someone else who seems to be better off then we are. Therefore, often, we ruin our peace of mind by cursing our state and status… all actually just a state of mind! We crave to jump from one situation to the next, one desire to the next, one point of view to the next, never resting content with how things really are, never grasping the whole.

The grass may seem greener on the other side -- until you get there. It's a matter of perspective. Satisfaction is a personal choice. Choose to green up your own grass rather than hopping that fence. We have to learn to celebrate who or what we are. When there is a way that we can better ourselves we must work for it and not just wish and pine for it.

It isn’t a bad thing to crave to BE BETTER
But it is bad taste to just envy and be bitter!

Regards
Pravin-da

DEFEATING EVEREST

"We didn't know if it was humanly possible to reach the top of Mt. Everest… even using oxygen as we were, if we did get to the top, we weren't at all sure whether we wouldn't drop dead." – Sir Edmund Hillary

Beekeeper, Edmund Hillary and Nepalese Sherpa, Tenzing Norgay, did not drop dead at the summit of Everest on May 29, 1953, when they set foot on the highest point on earth. It took 32 years of failures for dedicated climbers to reach the top of Mount Everest, a peak scaled so often now it hardly makes the newspaper headlines! At over 29,000 feet of altitude, snow never melts atop Mount Everest… winds at the summit reach 200 miles per hour… overall a very difficult challenge!

George Leigh-Mallory is first recorded as attempting the climb in 1921. On his third try, in 1924, he disappeared into the mist, never to be seen again. It is believed that he reached the top but slipped and did not live to tell his tale. The mountain had won. However, friends of Mallory one day gazed upon a large picture of Mount Everest and declared, “Mr. Everest, you defeated us once. You defeated us twice. You defeated us three times. But, Mr. Everest, we shall some day defeat you because you can’t get any bigger – and we can!”

Eight more attempts were made on the mountain resulting in eight more failures. Finally, Hillary and Tenzing defeated Everest. Since them, over 1,200 men and women from 63 nations have reached the summit.

Actually, failure comes only after we have given up. If the odds of winning are slim to none, they might be worth taking. Surely, we can get bigger and be better – better in ability; better in experience; better in wisdom; better in faith. Hillary, who passed away on 11 January 2008, remains a shining example of courage and endurance! Besides mountaineering, Hillary dedicated his life to environmental causes and to humanitarian efforts for the Nepalese people.

Hillary showed us how to blunt failure’s knife …
"BE BETTER" is the way to be, to justify our life …

Regards
Pravin

NO SHORTCUTS

Every visitor to Pedro’s college was treated to the spectacle of his ability to jump over ten steps from the mid-landing of the staircase to the landing below. However, one visitor was not amused. He was an athlete and sought to prove that Pedro’s feat was ordinary.

Pedro pleaded with him not to try it out. It was not prudent for a winner athlete to consider an ordinary person’s feat as a challenge. But the athlete would have none of it. He went up to the mid landing and jumped off only to fall spread-eagled on to the last three steps.

Pedro helped him to his feet and told him an enduring lesson. Pedro had initially started jumping off the fourth step. After a few days he moved to the next step. One step at a time over four months, he was able to develop the skill of jumping from the tenth step. Pedro asked the athlete, “why did you go straight to the tenth step?”

Things are not always as easy as they seem. And there are no guaranteed short cuts to acquiring the abilities of those who make it seem easy. We can cover ground faster by putting in more effort and following a well planned process. But things will not happen immediately even if we believe that we are better equipped than the one who can do it. Getting better is a process that requires time, thought and most importantly confidence that is not clouded by conceit.

To ‘BE BETTER’ take one step at each instance…
There are no real shortcuts to cover the distance!

Regards
Pravin