Andrew's Law

‘Power of Positivity’ is my favourite training session. Besides insights into reclaiming instinctive positivity (that we are born with) and unlearning conditioning, I share two laws: Murphy’s and Andrew’s. Murphy’s Law is globally known (and has been focussed on in an earlier Monday Muse) but Andrew’s is personally known to me and all those who came in touch with him.

So often, when we embark on a project and in the run-up we realise that disruptions lie ahead. In response, we postpone, procrastinate or we give up. Those who were associated with Andrew would hear a persistent and insistent refrain, ‘Don’t Cancel!’ That is the law that will be our lighthouse as the person is no more amidst us.

Andrew D’souza was full of enthusiasm and energy. He was passionate about planting trees, empowering education for underserved students, playing sports, team working with Rotary Clubs and other volunteer groups… but most importantly, he would encourage, support and team up with any positive program.

Andrew would urge, ‘Don’t Cancel!’ He believed that despite any concerns, a well-intentioned initiative should not be stopped. He insisted that instead of prejudging results, we must focus on efforts. Every time we cancel something we have started we create doubts in our mind and make it difficult to embark on a second attempt.

Andrew said ‘to cancel’ was to give up on your beliefs and faith in possibilities. He would point out the analogy of sports: playing for passion is elementary… victory depends on many factors other than capacities. Hence, he said, we should play to the fullest, instead of imagining defeat and giving up without playing.

Andrew’s successful chain of restaurants is called ‘A Lua’ - literally meaning the moon. The moon seems to wax and wane. The moon goes missing once a month and sometimes it is eclipsed. But it does not real disappear. It remains in its role that makes a consistent impact on our world. Andrew may be no more but his luminous law remains an immortal inspiration to take on challenges and not cancel our efforts.

Andrew remains alive with his stirring law…
‘Don’t cancel’ never mind the seeming flaw!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Unkindest Cut

In William Shakespeare's play, Julius Caesar was murdered by a group of senators led by Brutus, a close friend of Caesar. Caesar begins to resist the attack but resigns himself to his fate when he sees that his friend is amongst the plotters. Caesar's last words are 'Et tu, Brute? Then fall Caesar!'

In the play, Mark Antony oratory cleverly exposes the betrayal. He describes the wound given to Caesar by his close friend Brutus as ‘unkindest cut of all’. He is playing on two meanings of ‘unkind’: ‘inhumane’ and ‘unnatural.’ When Brutus literally ‘cut’ his friend, a bloody deed was compounded with ingratitude. It wasn't the wound that killed Caesar, says Antony, but Brutus's treachery.

The most painful of insults, affronts, or offenses are often so painful because it comes from a trusted friend. It is pertinent to note that these ‘unkindest cuts’ are always aligned to back stabbing. While they may not be real cuts that exterminate, yet they kill reputation or relationships. The friends who chose to betray are eventually killing trust and the friendship born of it.

Some people are given yet another chance despite deceitfulness. But they repeat the untrustworthiness as they take relationships for granted. They may believe that the one who forgave once will forgive again. More importantly, they feel that the friend will never know about the unkindest cut! However, friendships take years to blossom but they can be smothered out forever by the unkindest cuts.

Friendship is felled where a betrayed friend is laid…
The ‘unkindest cut’ is always a double edged blade!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Whataboutery

Pedro was telling his friend in a sad tone, ‘My father is critically ill and looks like he will not recover.’ His friend immediately shot back, ‘what about other fathers who are critically ill? Did you feel sad for them? If not why are you insisting on grief?’

A baffled Pedro said, ‘He is my father! As his son am I not entitled to sorrow?’ His friend continued his whataboutery… ‘What about other fathers? What about their sons? What about their anguish? What about…’

The above account is an imagined joke. But around us, we find the serious malaise of repetitive whataboutery. It is the technique or practice of responding to an accusation or difficult question by making a counter-accusation or raising a different issue. It is a diversion tactic used to put the other in a bad light.

The term, originally used in political discourse, is now used extensively in debates between conflicting sides. The user protests hypocrisy by responding to criticism by accusing the opponent of similar or worse faults. He refuses to act in one instance as similar action was not taken in other similar instances from the past. 

One wrong does not validate another. Hypocrisy should be exposed but crime cannot be defended. Whataboutery cannot be used to justify the unjustifiable. It is pretence for fairness but it seeks to defend the defenceless. The opposite of whataboutery is to maintain consistency in response instead of asking ‘what about?’

When we prop up a wrong to expose hypocrisy

We indulge in the absurd drill of whataboutery!

~ Pravin Sabnis

What’s your religion?

(an old poem written in 1990 that disconcertingly seems written for today)

One day,
we will be stopped
in our tracks
by a maniacal mob…
… and be confronted
with the Questions:

“what’s your religion?
Same as ours?
Or different like theirs?”

And our lives will depend
… on our answers
… and their religion!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Noise within

A marketing executive, from Vasco, visited Pedro to promote his company’s range of products. He received a call from his boss. The visitor seemed irritated as he spoke on his mobile , ‘I am in Margao’ he declared. Pedro was surprised as they were sitting in his office in Panaji. It was pertinent to note that the three cities were separated from each other by nearly an hour’s drive.

Intrigued, Pedro queried, ‘Why did you lie?’ The salesman replied, ‘If I had told my boss that I was in Panaji, he would have definitely asked me to get some toast from Café Central’. Pedro shot back, ‘What if he asks you to get some cookies from Morning Star Bakery located in Margao?’ And he continued, ‘what if your boss is in Panaji and bumps into you?’ The salesman broke into cold sweat.

The salesman did not imagine other possibilities as he was conditioned by the noise within. The noise within kept insisting that his boss would ask him to purchase toast if he knew that he was in Panaji. In his haste to escape his imagined predicament, he was putting himself into worse scenarios that come along with misrepresentation.

So often, we respond to stimuli based on perception and we resort to falsehood. Our assessment is affected by our previous experiences. We presume the worst based on such prejudice. Most lies are born of the noise within which keeps bearing upon us the burden of experience or that of wrong assessment.

While experience is a great teacher, it should not blind us to other possibilities that may exist. More importantly, deceptions are a two edged sword with the sharper knife on the side of the deceiver. Truth may bring hardships but it would not create worries that falsehood brings along. The noise within should be consistently aligned to integrity, not to wrong assessment, especially the ones based on experience.

Ignore the noise within that leads to untruths
Every stimulus needs the response of truth!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Thousand Times

In my training sessions, I share that martial arts films have similar stories. The protagonist is a simple, nice guy. And the antagonist is an expert in martial arts. In the fight between the good and the bad, the bad one wins as he is stronger and skilled. Hence the hero goes to a master to learn self-defence and attack.

He is exasperated when the master teaches him only a single move and insists that he practise it again and again. The hero pleads with his master, ‘Please teach me more moves’. The wise master replies, ‘it is not the thousand moves that you know that will help you… it is the one move you have practised a thousand times!’

We see it all around us. Singers and musicians involve in the ritual of riyaz! Batsmen practise the same stroke that they want to become better at. Bowlers strive to bowl the yorker again and again, in the nets. Novice artists keep drawing the same strokes till they become proficient. Actors keep repeating lines till they are flawless.

Of course, it is not just enough to do something a thousand times; one must do it the right way. Pedro says is you keep practising the wrong way; you will get it perfectly wrong! The constant and conscious drill of doing the right thing in the right way gets us to be better and better.

So should we restrict to only single moves? While it is good to know many moves, the ones that matter will be ones you have done many times! Interestingly, in every sphere, the fundamental moves are few and the rest are variations. So it makes sense to work a thousand times on the fundamentals.

Never mind thousand moves that you claim to know
Those done a thousand times are the ones to show!

~ Pravin Sabnis

Development

Once in a nature camp, I spoke on the tendency to abuse water as a resource. Drinking water was going to get scarce, due to destruction of water sources by indiscriminate development. A bright boy pointed, ‘With technological developments, one day it will be possible to treat sea water and convert into drinking water’. He felt that it was possible to find new solutions to problems created by development.

After appreciating the lad for his intelligent intervention, I said, ‘The Jaipur foot is an important technological development for those who lose their limbs. But would it be correct to amputate our healthy limbs just because we have a remedy? Does it make sense to scout solutions for problems we insist on creating?’

Development is a connotation that means different things to different people. It can be as personal as our self-centredness or as global as wider concerns. It can be conditioned by immediate needs or liberated by a desire to leave a legacy. It should be a corollary to the advancement of humanity. It can be about a better future not just for us but for the generations to come.

Embracing fundamentals based on a vision of equity, justice and self-reliance, for the entire humankind, should be the priority. Development cannot be walking the path to the future whilst destroying the present. And most importantly, it is about having the courage to leave the wrong road and walk only the one which benefits all the people and the environment around, not just of today, but of tomorrow as well.

Creating problems and finding solutions is a recipe for erosion…
Development is when our Earth is nurtured for future generations!

~ Pravin Sabnis