Giving

Once a woman, while wandering in the mountains, found a precious stone in a stream. Later she met a hungry traveller and when she opened her bag to share her food, he saw the precious stone. Instinctively, he asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveller left, rejoicing since he knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. 

However, a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. ‘I've been thinking,’ he said. ‘I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone.’

Surely there is no greater personal wealth than the attitude of spontaneous giving. While we may share sometimes some of our resources or some of our money, very few can easily pass on what is most precious in our possession. Such unbridled giving needs a large heart that does not clutch on to valuables.

We need to be better at letting go of our self-absorbed and self-seeking attitude that prevents us from the act of passing our ideas, resources or opportunities. It is pertinent to note that the hallmark of leadership is in the ability to pass on opportunity to team members. To grow in life we must learn to give and share sans inhibitions.

However, it is not enough to generously give. Too often, we hope for a reciprocal reversal of giving by the one who has received from us. Such expectations fetter the decision to give. But when we give unconditionally, we liberate ourselves of the shackles of self-centred anticipation of receiving. And such an attitude is more valuable than any other riches!

Let’s BE BETTER at unconditional giving...

For true liberation lies in generous sharing!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Potential within

Poet-saint Kabir wrote profound philosophy employing easily identifiable idioms and simple vocabulary. My favourite verse written by him (in Hindi) is…

‘Jo til mein hai tel, jo jagmag mein hai aag,
tera Sai hai tere andar, jaag sake tho jaag’

(like sesame seeds hold oil, like flint stones hold fire,
Your potential lies within, wake up to this fact)

Sesame seeds need to be crushed to be release the oil that lies within. Two stones when struck against each other create the spark that can kindle a fire. The capacity in both cases is inherent and suitable action creates the desired result. Kabir says that similarly every man’s potential lies within and it is important to accept that potential lies within.

However, unlike sesame seeds, humans do not need external pressure to unleash their inner potential nor do they need to be struck against (compared with) another person to kindle the spark. So often, we do things only because we are externally forced to do so by others or to measure up to be compared to another’s capacity.

We are owners of prospective possibilities to do great things. We need to awaken and look inwards. We need to see what we are and what we can be. Potential needs to be first discovered by the one who possess it. Too often, we put ourselves down, because we fail to remove our blinkers of self-doubt while looking inwards and within. To be better at performing we must first recognise those facets to our personalities that lie unexplored.

Awake to BE BETTER at true recognition...

To convert inherent potential into action!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Be Nervous

Over an amazing run of 24 years, Sachin Tendulkar was able to sustain success in the game of cricket. The reasons are many: focussed dedication, consistent discipline, well grounded humility, strong emotional support from his family... but it is pertinent to consider one more factor, spelled out by the little master himself: nervousness never left him.

Even after grabbing most world records for batting, Tendulkar was always edgy every time he walked up to bat. He has shared often about being anxious by saying, ‘I believe feeling nervous enables one to give his best. You can get nervous only when you care about something and I care about cricket!’

We tend to believe that those who are nervous are not prepared or are not confident enough. But we find even confident, well-prepared persons to be nervous. On the other hand, there are ones who are care-free even when ill-prepared. This is so because things don’t matter to them. When they will be working on things which really matter to them, they will be found nervous.

Nervousness is the indication of concern and care. Like Tendulkar was always nervous about playing well for his country, seasoned actors feel the shivers before their performance. Senior scientists are uneasy when the space satellite they developed is to be launched. Flourishing businessmen lose their sleep before the launch of a new product or service.

It is wrong to look down upon nervous people (including ourselves) and judge them (or us) just by it. It is part of our emotions to be nervous. While it is good to be confident, it would be better to be nervous such that we never turn complacent or lose exciting emotions. When we start off on something new, it is natural to be nervous. The query is whether we can hold on it, like Tendulkar did to the very end of his glorious career.

Tendulkar never let go of nervousness born out of care...

Let’s emulate him to BE BETTER with everything we dare!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Sing often

Last weekend, the Samraat Club Panaji organised its annual fellowship event – Deep Sandhya – the festival of lights being celebrated by the families of the members of the club. Glamour photographer and make-up artist, Sanjeev Salvi was orchestrated the entertainment using Karoake - a system of pre-recorded music accompaniment to songs whose words appear on a video screen.

Sanjeev was comfortable due to his competency to sing to the pre-recorded music. But the rest of us had inhibitions. We were not very comfortable syncing the words with the music that played. But as the evening progressed, the singing seemed liberated. Those who were scratchy during their first attempt seemed at ease while belting out a second song.

Very few children, who sing well in their childhood, retain their skill to sing, when they grow older. They stop singing for various reasons. Some lose the belief. Some lose the interest to develop the skill. Some sing in their minds. Some do not sing at all.

Many wrongly believe that singing is talent, when eventually it is a well honed skill that gets better by doing it again. Eventually it is to be seen whether all of us who discovered the potential of singing can develop it further by doing it often... After all, to be better at anything, we have to do it again and again!

There is an artist, a singer, a dancer, a story teller in all of us. But often our potential is unfairly condemned under our own expectation of its worthiness before an audience. It is foolish to compare ourselves with professionals. More importantly, the best of singers do not get better by comparing themselves with the singing greats. Rather they get inspired by their icons to keep singing.

to BE BETTER at the ability to sing…
doing it often is the right thing!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Beyond Sympathy

In 1993, just before Diwali, the Latur earthquake uprooted lives, families and homes. Many felt pity and sympathy for the affected people. Some joined the emotional response of donating money and material. But the most valuable lesson came from the families who chose to scale down Diwali celebrations to the bare minimum… as they would have if tragedy were to strike their own home. The money was instead spent for relief work.

Our ability to connect with another’s predicament can vary from insensitive indifference to sensitive sympathy. While sympathy is good, empathy is better! It is beyond sympathy. Pity is ‘feeling sorry’ for someone in trouble and in need of help. Sympathy is feeling compassion or concern for another, the wish to see them better off or happier. We may instinctively 'catch' the emotions that others are showing without necessarily recognizing this is happening.

Andre Gide queried aptly, ‘Are you then unable to recognize unless it has the same sound as yours?’ Empathy is about recognizing the ‘sound’ of another’s experience even if it is unlike any of ours. It is about putting oneself into the psychological frame of reference of another, so that the other person’s feelings, thinking and actions are understood.

However, empathy should not be an occasional emotion… unravelled only in times of great tragedy. We cuddle contradictions if we practise empathy as a response to ecological calamities while ignoring the fact that they are a result of man-made decisions that trigger the disaster. Hence, we must be better at hearing the ‘sound’ before the ‘noise’ happens. Real empathy is about consistency in our actions to be responsible and responsive human beings.

To BE BETTER at the response of empathy…
Let’s move beyond situational sympathy!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Hurdle

For many years, a farmer had to plough around a large rock in his field. He would curse the rock, every time he damaged his plough on it. Though he tried to be better at avoiding the rock, he ended up breaking yet another plough. Remembering all the trouble the hurdle had caused him through the years, he finally decided to do something about it. 

When he put the crowbar under the rock, he was surprised to discover that it was only about six inches thick and that he could break it up easily with a sledgehammer. As he was carting the pieces away he also carried the smile of realisation of how easy it would have been to get rid of that hurdle sooner… if he had only tried!

We know of how the stream defeats the rock with its persistence… how the drop hollows the rock with constant falling... how the stone cutter with determined chiselling gives shape to huge rocks. But, perseverance would never happen if one did not choose to try. And the reality is that most hurdles in our route may not be as big or as tough as we imagine them to be. But we would only know when we try! 

Most of the time, the hurdles in our path seem larger just because we dread the bigger obstacles. But, those who are seized by the passion, to overcome every obstacle, find that not all rocks in their course are overwhelming. Somebody who shirks from preliminary effort would find the simplest of tasks to seem overpowering. It is said well that ‘never give up until you try’…

The hurdle in our way may not be what it appears
Let’s BE BETTER at overcoming premature failure fears…

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.

Resourcefulness

Before the interview, the candidates were shown a salient audio visual about the organisation’s vision, mission and systems. Next came the announcement, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, the interview shall commence after a 30 minute recess. Till then, please have some soup.’ Everyone began to queue up at the serving table. Even those, who did not want the soup, chose not to be part of a slight.

The atmosphere was one of discipline… no pushes and shoves… smiles flashed around… everyone knew they were being watched and hence the best behaviour was out on display. Bowls were lifted with grace… prompt ‘thank-you’ uttered as the waiter poured the soup… Each moved ahead gracefully towards the awaiting additives… chilly sauce, vinegar, pepper, salt, etc.

The assessment was complete! Everyone who added without tasting and checking out whether the soup actually required add-ons were in hot soup as far as the interview was concerned 

Interviews are conducted to assess competencies and attitude. And in recent times, innovative situations are created to assess the reflexes and responses to find out who is better than the rest. The above case is an excellent example of testing attitude and approach to available resources. In the quest to assess who is better, the ones who fall aside are the ones who use resources without considering whether they are needed.

So often, so many of us use resources in an irresponsible and indiscriminate manner. We use resources less from the perspective of an assessed need and more from the mechanical habit of going through motions without thinking. To BE BETTER than the rest, we must ensure that our behaviour is based on situational thinking instead of perfunctory behaviour. Resourcefulness is a trait born out of conscious responsiveness that arises when the mechanical inclination is overcome.

Unlearn mechanical habits that land us in a mess...

To BE BETTER involve in responsive resourcefulness!

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Goa, India.