Sore Loser

Elections for the Presidentship of an organisation seemed lopsided with one contestant claiming sure victory. He and his supporters confidently rattled off various factors that seemed in their favour. However, the result was otherwise.

The shocked loser started blaming everyone and everything. He found fault with many things. He blamed others for his loss. He was a sore loser!

 

Nobody likes to lose, but there is a line that should never be crossed… the line between amateur and professional, child and adult. In the heat of the moment, it is not the greatest athletes that shine through, but the best people.

 

Sore losers are competitive about everything. They throw a tantrum when things don't go their way. They try to put the blame elsewhere. They dwell on the situation for longer than they need to. They discredit the actual winner. They get personal.

 

Being competitive isn’t a bad thing, we all want to succeed, but we must know that in reality we can’t always win. Accept that that’s okay – it’s a normal part of life. If you’re a sore loser, it’s maybe because you struggle to manage your emotions in the moment.

 

Acknowledging that you’re a sore loser is the best place to start. Then, make a conscious effort to not react negatively when you lose. We should focus on creating a rational and positive mind-set. Losing a game or an election isn’t the end of the world, so credit the winner and say well done!

Be a truly gracious sport in every game…

Don’t be a sore loser with excuses lame!

 

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Heritage

The word comes from ‘that which may be inherited’ from Old French. It is pertinent to note the component ‘Heir’ which obviously refers to something that is inherited… meaning passed on by someone else from the sometime of days gone by.

Anything that is received from contributions of someone else cannot be squandered away. It has to be retained and maintained… it needs to be restored and secured for the future. To be careless of heritage, is to we lose the valuable fruit of the efforts of our ancestors.

 

Not all heritage may be desirable. It may have negative experiences attached to it. There may be pain or hurt involved in its birth. Nevertheless, it will offer wisdom if we choose to learn lessons instead of blindly glorifying it.

 

The past tells us where we have come from… it does not tell us where we will go! Our future is determined by the way we learn from what has happened before. We must embrace the positives and we must distance ourselves from the negatives. But we must learn either way!

 

May heritage and its lessons lead us to wisdom. When heritage is destroyed, the lessons are lost. Hence we should take care of all heritage: natural or man-made. But the biggest learning comes from the heritage called humaneness… Let’s ensure that it is passed on!

 

Heritage is a great teacher of what happened before

The positive will lead to lessons as will painful sores!

 

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Farewell

JCI (Junior Chamber International) is an organisation for young persons between the age 18 to 40. Last year JCI India started SMA (Senior Members Association) to reconnect older members. At a recently held SMA Conclave, Ashraf Ali Nizari was addressing the valedictory ceremony as Chief Guest. 

He informed that the term ‘valedictory’ was drawn from a Latin origin ‘valedicere’ which means ‘to say farewell’. When conclaves conclude, the delegates disperse while bidding farewell to each other. Ashraf pointed out that it would be pertinent to bid farewell to all that was preventing us from moving ahead.

 

He asked the delegates to bid farewell to the smug situation of stagnation… to the plateauing of aspirations… to the unwillingness to adapt… to the reluctance to learn new knowledge and skills… he urged the audience to find new meaning and purpose to life by ‘saying farewell’ to all that was preventing full-on living.

 

We restrict ourselves when we do not let go of the fetters that are forged due to a slow-down in mid-life. The chains are in the mind and it is there that we have to break the shackles. But  before we say farewell to the fetters, we must first know of their existence.

 

We must identify what restrains us from our passion, potential and possibilities. We must own up to the yokes that burden our progress. When we say farewell to friends and colleagues, it is with an intention to meet again… but with fetters, it should be a final farewell!

 

To all the fetters that frustrate your feet

Say farewell to those and do new feats!

 

- Pravin K. Sabnis

 

60 seconds

The One Minute Manager is a bestseller by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson. The book tells a story of three techniques of an effective manager: one minute goals, one minute praise and one minute reprimands.

 The three simple tools, each taking 60 seconds or less, but can tremendously improve how managers do their job: getting people to stay motivated, happy and deliver great work. Each takes only a minute but is of lasting benefit.

 

The conciseness or the shortness of expression increases effectiveness and efficiency. On the other hand, long windedness leads to ambiguity or divergence. While brevity ensures focus and clarity, long-windedness leads to confusion in the communication.

 

Those who speak less often speak best as they get to the point without beating around the bush. Most speak more because they seek to impress the other. But we must remember that it is more important to express aptly.

 

Hence we must speak for less than 60 second every time we communicate goals, praise or reprimand. The one minute frame works for other things as well: giving instructions, sharing feelings, presenting ideas and the list goes on.

 

60 seconds is more than need

When focus you seek to feed!

 

- Pravin K. Sabnis

 

Declutter

Einstein was once asked what his phone number was. He went to the phone book to look it up. He said he never cluttered his mind with information he could find elsewhere.

 

Most people would think of people who went to the phone book to look up their number as a being less competent. But you would miss someone like Einstein. For most of us who cannot avoid the clutter, we must choose to declutter.

 

Whether you tackle it as part of downsizing effort or simply to simplify your life, decluttering is often difficult. The clutter is a careless pile created by holding on to the unnecessary. Over a period of time, the mess keeps piling up and starts looming large.

 

The best way to make decluttering easier is doing it in stages: focus on one area, one space, or even one zone within an area, completing the job fully before moving on to the next space. This will also build confidence as you experience visible success at each step. 

 

one thing at a time, ensure are cleared

the shackles fall only when decluttered

 

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Poetry

Held every year on 21 March, World Poetry Day celebrates one of humanity’s most treasured forms of expression and identity. In every culture, poetry speaks to our common humanity and our shared values, transforming the simplest of poems into a powerful catalyst for dialogue and expression.

UNESCO first adopted World Poetry Day during its General Conference in Paris in 1999. It is the occasion to honour poets, revive oral traditions of poetry recitals and foster the convergence between poetry and other arts such as theatre, dance, music and painting.

 

From sonnets to haikus, from elegy to epic, from rhyme to free form… poetry has been luring us to multiple perspectives. And it is these varied visions that invoke insight, inspiration and even action. Revolutions as well as reformations have been triggered by the power of poetry.

 

Poetry has always been a great teacher. In the kindergarten, we learn easily with rhyme. In higher education, the relegation of poetry leads to difficulties in learning. However, lyrics of ‘we didn’t start the fire’ helped us remember historical sequences.

 

When we choose to indulge in poetry, it leads us to interesting perspectives. It transports us into a world of insights and possibilities. It takes us back to being child-like, open-minded and eager to embrace the new.

 

Indulge in the poetic brew

Explore perspectives new!

 

- Pravin K. Sabnis

Giving

A Zen master’s school was in urgent need of repairs. A rich man generously donated five hundred ryo (gold pieces). However, after handing over the sack of gold, he was disappointed with the attitude of the teacher who did not thank him.

Slyly he hinted, ‘There are five hundred ryo in the sack’. The master remained silent. ‘Even if I am wealthy, five hundred ryo is a lot of money,’ the rich man persisted. The master calmly asked, ‘Do you want me to thank you for it?’

 ‘Shouldn’t you?’ queried the donor. ‘Why should I?’ retorted the master, ‘The giver should be thankful.’

So often, when we give or share our riches, we hold on to the expectation of being thanked. Appreciation as a prerequisite offsets the most sincere of intentions and actions. It is the reason for grief and hurt for the giver when not thanked.

We must break the fetters of expectation. Otherwise our otherwise noble action will turn into a bartered transaction. Generosity should not be combined with commerce-like hope of appreciation.

The inner joy that should naturally follow a good deed is stifled by an unfilled expectation of reciprocal thanks-giving. Let’s instead be grateful at the joy that comes out of unconditional giving.

Let go of the expectation of thanking

Choose the joy of unqualified giving!

- Pravin K Sabnis